I'm a REDHEAD...

Well, for 28 washes at least- you can call me Red. I was offered a chance to try this new product from Nice'N Easy, and I took the plunge.
vocalpoint.com/FlirtWithHairColor.
I haven't had anything done to my hair colorwise since I got pregnant with my first daughter- 5 years ago. So my hair has been it's natural color for quite some time now. I just recently gave birth to my 2nd daughter and I felt like I was ready for a change. But, seeing as how we now have 2 kids and I'm not working- I'm definately on a budget... so no fancy hair salons for me.
I'm a member of vocalpoint which is a really cool site where you are given the oppertunity to try things and leave feedback- They really want to know what you think, and anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to give people my opinion- no matter what it is, good or bad.
I was offered a chance to try this new non-permanent hair color for free so I could flirt with a new style before I really commit. Sounds perfect to me. What if I did it and I hated the results? Well, luckily my new hue lasts for only 28 washes, just enough time for me decide if I love it or hate it. So, here's my review:
I applied the product to myself- which could be a little tricky, but I somehow managed to get it all done and I only made a small mess in my bathroom ;)
(This would have probably gone even better had my new baby not started screaming the second I squirted the dye on my head).
I left the product on for 15 minutes then rinsed....
and rinsed, and rinsed and you guessed it... rinsed. It said rinse until water runs clear. Well, that never happened- but when it became very close to clear I figured that would work. Then I applied the conditioning cream and left on for a couple minutes. Then rinsed, and guess what... I had to rinse and rinse and rinse. I actually did wonder for a minute if when I dried my hair off there would be anything left in it. Once again the water never fully rinsed clear. After that I styled as usual-
It has now been 4 days since I did it and when I washed my hair yesterday in the shower, it rinsed pink out the whole time. But it's not leaving any dye on my towel or clothes so I think its just while its wet. Which makes me think I better not dare go swimming while using this product.
My hair is naturally curly and very dark brown naturally- I used 815R Deep Mahogany Auburn. It turned out a very pretty dark red color... I LOVE IT!
We are only 4 days in, My 4 1/2 year old daughter told me that it makes me look younger, so I think at this point I like it and I will use the permanent color next time!  :)

 This is after the 2nd wash yesterday- I straightened it with a flat iron. I think without any product it was easier to see how much red it had in it.

I'm pleased to introduce the newest miracle in our family

Reagan Hailey Winans
born June 18, 2012 at 2:25pm. Weighing 7 lb 2 oz, and measuring 19.5 inches long.
We had a scheduled C-section and everything thankfully went very smooth. The Lord was definately there big time- calming me down. Everytime I looked around the room and really thought about what was happening- I started to get so overwhelmed- but, I knew we were in good hands and the Lord had brought us this far, he wouldn't leave us stranded now.
Our beautiful daughter is definately in a league of her own. She has not been a "typical newborn" to say the least. A few examples- she literally came out of the womb with a FULL set of lungs- no cute, sweet little quiet newborn cry- it was full blown wails. She REFUSES to be swaddled- most new babies love that feeling being bundled up- The 2nd night at home I actually watched her escape the blanket to get both arms out of the collar of her sleeper- the blanket was still swaddled, but here is my little escapee with both arms and her cute little head poking right out of the top. She is so strong- she was lifting her head up and looking around while we were still in the hospital- something you usually don't see babies do until weeks after they are at home. She did it within hours. The first night in her crib- she did half a roll over to her side- I was of course panicked because they are supposed to just lay there how you put them at first right?! Here we are first night at home having to use rolled up blankets to create little speed bumps that hold her into place for us. OMG- this kid is on another level.

I am So very in love with her though. She has held true to the nickname that we chose before she was born- OWL. She sleeps during the day and loves to be awake at night. As soon as it gets dark- her eyes are wide as saucers.
She is an amazing gift and I vow to do my best to be a good mother to her- and Ashlyn.

So, as usual- I plan on doing better blogging and, da da da DA- It's been months since I've posted last... Ah- I digress. Ok, so let me quickly give you an update- My placenta previa fixed itself at my 28 week appointment. I had an ultrasound and the Dr said- well, not only did it start moving, but it has completely migrated out of the way of your cervix- congrats you are no longer high risk pregnancy! woo hoo!! (followed by lots of tears of joy and praising the Lord for answered prayers!!)
I had my baby shower a few weeks after that- what a fun time. It really was such a great day-
the OWL theme was in full effect- it was awesome.
My girls and I were totally spoiled- and it was so much appreciated! Every thing that I don't have to purchase is such a huge blessing on our family. And big sister Ashlyn was certainly doted on as well.
The food was fantastic and really I had such a great time. Thank you to Jen and Lisa- it rocked!!
Well, the next day after the shower- I started having such severe pain in my back that I thought I might be in labor- turns out that I was starting to pass a kidney stone- PAINFUL... but, not only that- I also had something called hydronephrosis- which is basically when the ureter tubes swell, which causes a small opening to almost clamp shut. SOOOOO... figure it out- clamped shut tubes with a little rock trying to squeeze through---- um, thank you- just kill me! It was such excruciating pain- they ended up admitting me in the hospital and after 2 shots of pain killer that didn't help, they placed me on a morphine pump... NOT what you want when you are pregnant- but, after a few hours on that, I finally wasn't hurting anymore.. Ok so, fast forward the story- I got left hospital, felt better, then had horrible pain again (but was able to manage at home so I could still be with Ashlyn) I didn't pass the stone for 20 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG people that is almost 3 weeks!! OUCHIE!! Happy to say though that since then, I've felt fine.
Now, I'm 37 weeks and 3 days and boy am I anxious to have this kid! WOW, after all the issues we've faced this pregnancy, I will be so relieved when Reagan is safely in my arms- not to mention that it is starting to get very hot outside and I'm quite uncomfortable these days. Every minute that I'm awake I'm pleading for her to "come out" but, I'm pretty sure she is nice and cozy and will not make her debut until the day of our scheduled C-sec. Which, thankfully is only 11 days away from now. I think I can, I think I can... I know I can- but, I really don't wanna!!! waaaaaa.. Ok, enough of that.
Ok, well, now that I've caught you up on the pregnancy dramatics for the past couple months- I'll let you know when Reagan arrives :) Wish me luck!

Well, I seem to be getting more and more time on my hands lately since I'm practically on bed rest with the pregnancy. I'm thinking I'll try to start blogging a little more to document this time...
Let me start by back tracking a little bit.
Last week at my 20 week Dr appt/ultrasound- my Dr entered the room after reviewing my US and said, well your daughter looks absolutely perfect... but- YOU on the other hand- well, we've found a problem on the US.
She said that I have complete placenta previa.

"Placenta previa is a problem with the placenta during pregnancy. The placenta is a round, flat organ that forms during pregnancy to give the baby food and oxygen from the mother. The placenta forms on the inside wall of the uterus soon after conception.

During a normal pregnancy, the placenta is attached higher up in the uterus, away from the cervix. But in rare cases, the placenta forms low in the uterus. If this happens, it may cover all or part of the cervix. When the placenta blocks the cervix, it is called placenta previa. "

What does that mean you ask??? "

If you have placenta previa and aren't bleeding, it is important to avoid having sex or vaginal exams and to avoid putting anything else in your vagina. (But you may have a carefully done vaginal exam at the hospital.) You should see your doctor if you have any bleeding.
If you are bleeding, you may have to stay in the hospital. When your baby is mature enough, or if too much bleeding is putting you or your baby in danger, your baby will be delivered. Doctors always do a cesarean section when there is a placenta previa. This is because the placenta can be disturbed with a vaginal delivery, and it can cause severe bleeding.

What are the possible problems from having placenta previa?

Placenta previa can cause problems for both the mother and the baby. These include:

• A condition called placenta abruptio. This means that the placenta breaks away from the wall of the uterus before the baby has been born.
• Severe bleeding in the mother before or during delivery. This can be very dangerous for both the mother and the baby. If the placenta has attached or grown into the wall of the uterus (known as placenta accreta, placenta increta, or placenta percreta), the bleeding can be heavy enough to require a hysterectomy.²
• Having to deliver the baby too early.
• Birth defects. These occur more often in pregnancies with placenta previa than in pregnancies without this problem. "

So, basically I'm limited to do- well, not much of anything. Any of you reading this that are Mothers will understand just how devastating hearing something like this can be. No Mom wants to hear that there is ANY kind of problem during their pregnancy. Now, I will say that I'm glad the problem is not with the baby. That for sure was a huge relief. But, the fact that I have ANOTHER thing wrong with me is weighing heavily on my mind. I feel like I'm broken. I told my husband that I think he got a defective model. I've already had surgery to fix my back. I can not get pregnant on my own. Now I am not allowed to do so many normal activities that a Mother and Wife do just to survive day to day. Its such a strange feeling. I can't explain how helpless you feel when everyone around you has to do everything- the weirdest part is that I actually feel really great. This pregnancy was definately a little harder in the beginning with being sick. But I feel great now- I've had no sign of any problems.
Ashlyn doesn't really understand why Mommy keeps saying No, we can't go there, or No, we can't do that. Sorry I can't pick you up anymore. Trying to find things for a 4 year old when your basically out of commission is a little trying :(
My Dr said that there is a chance that this can correct itself by the end of the pregnancy... so there is a chance that all this fear will be for nothing, but you always wonder- you always worry. I'm trying to focus on the positive- we will now be monitored by ultrasounds- which means we get to see our little girl more than we normally would. I also will most likely deliver earlier. Which means I will get to hold my baby girl sooner- who wouldn't want that right?! Well, on the flip side, I am praying that she will stay in there long enough to grow and mature enough to even survive outside on her own. Nobody wants to have their baby born and be in the NICU for a long time. Or even worse... I'm not going there in my head. Its too hard to even consider.
So- as I sit on my butt, and try to figure out things that will keep me from going crazy- I just wanted to jot some of these thoughts down.

Dear Reagan- Mommy and Daddy and your big sister (not to mention the rest of the family) are so so so excited to see you and hold you. BUT, we need you to be big and strong when you choose your birthday- so as much as I want to love on you- please please stay in there for at least another 15 weeks- When you are born I want to be able to hold you and nurse you and bring you home. I don't want to visit you in a hospital.
I love you sweetheart... xoxox, Mommy

Dear Placenta- can you PLEASE for the love- get the heck out of the way so I can return to some normalcy in my life! I understand you may be really comfy and cozy in the scar tissue from my previous C-sec, but, in order to keep me and my daughter safe... and to not ruin the chances of any future siblings for my daughters- MOVE OVER!!

Dear Lord, this is such a difficult thing to hear and try and wrap my brain around. But, I know that you would never leave me high and dry. I know in my heart that you would not let us suffer for 2 years trying to conceive- find out we were pregnant and have to suffer the heartache that same day of my brother and his wife miscarrying. Please remind my flesh to be faithful and NOT fearful. I ask for extra angels around Reagan and myself. Keep anything from contracting and bleeding. Please help me to be smart with the things I do and not overdo anything. I would never forgive myself if I hurt my baby. Please help me to be a good Mom to Ashlyn during this time. I ask for extra patience and creative ideas on ways to keep her entertained. Please don't let her resent little Reagan or me for the things that I can not do any longer. Thank you for your peace and comfort in my life. AMEN

Happy 4th to my 1st

Ashlyn is turning 4 years old!! HOLY CRAP, where does the time go??? I swear just yesterday it was Jan 19, 2008 my due date- and I was feeling like, this kid is NEVER going to come out! I'm going to be pregnant forever! Of course she had to do it on her own schedule. The minute I laid down that night to go to sleep, the contractions started... awww she even had a little attitude before she was born!
My life has changed so dramatically in these past 4 years, honestly I don't remember the person I was before I was a Mom... And quite frankly- I like it. My whole life I wanted that- in school growing up when people asked what to be when you grow up, I always said a Wife and a Mom.
When Ashlyn was born- I truly felt like I found my purpose here. I have enjoyed ever second of watching her grow up these 4 years. She is the spunkiest little firecracker. She makes me so proud. Of course there are the times when her constant talking makes me a "psycho head" as she likes to call me. But, I have had more laughs and tears of joy as a direct result of her than I ever dreamed possible.
She is the best gift that I've ever been given and I will do my best to raise her the way that God wants me to- no matter how hard of a struggle it will be at times.
I am really thankful that we've had 4 years of just her (even though I've wanted to be pregnant again for so long) after it happened, God spoke to me and told me that since for Scott and I it is such a struggle- we have been blessed with so much alone time with her. So many memories that we've created as a family of 3. She has got so much more attention then she would have if we'd got pregnant right away and had another baby already. (sometimes I know all the attention is prob not a great thing, but it is what it is).
I still love to watch her sleep- I get nervous and check on her during the night while she sleeps. I love that I can have a totally normal conversation with her and she understands everything. She can write most of her letters and numbers and she knows how to write and spell all our names. I love when she draws pictures you know its a girl because there is eyelashes and curly hair, and guys have just a little hair on top. She draws butterflies which we relate to my grandma, and ladybugs because she knows how important they are to me. She loves to sing and dance. She is 40 lbs. She is 40 inches tall. She loves having sleepovers with Vram. She always kisses my belly and says how cute the baby is (even though she doesn't know what she looks like yet). She loves to watch movies- Veggie Tales and pretty much all Disneys. Cinderella is still her favorite princess. Her favorite colors are green and pink. She goes to preschool 2 days a week and loves it. She is in gymnastics. I love that I can turn on the Christian radio station and she will sing along with me to the songs. She is the most amazing little creature- that isn't so little anymore. She now tells me I can do it myself Mom. I don't need help, and a lot of the times she doesn't. But, to me, she will always be my little girl. I will always remember the first time that I got to hold her in my arms, when they brought her into my hospital room and she had a tiny little pink bow stuck to her head.

On January 20, 2008 I fell in love.... and today that love has grown even more than I thought possible.
Happy Birthday Ladybug. Mommy loves you sweetheart!!! xoxoxoxo

Attn: crafty friends

Ok, I have been looking online for a few now and I just thought to myself, hmmmm... why don't I just post on my blog and see if anyone might have the info.
I am wanting to make a homemade nursing cover. I have been looking at patterns but has anyone done one of these? If so, do you have any pointers that can save me stress/headaches as I get into this project.
I bought a couple yards of fabric already that I thought was cute and should be lighter for the summer nursing, but is there anything else that is a "need to know" before I jump in?!
I'm sure it can't be that hard, looking at the covers in the store they seem quite simple and my 2 different fabrics cost me about $5 total, opposed to the $30+ that each cover sells for.
Thank you :)

An answer to prayer

Well, its been a long time since I've posted, but it seems only appropriate that I give the very anticipated update...
I'm pregnant!! YIIIIPPPPEEEEEE!! I'm into my 2nd trimester now, which I'm very relieved about. Especially considering that my brother and his wife miscarried the exact same day I got my positive on the pregnancy test. It kind of soured the joy of telling everyone our good news since we were all in mourning over their loss. But, this is something that we've wanted for so long and tried very hard to get, so everyone is happy for us none the less.
Ashlyn was very excited when we broke the news to her about being a big sister. She first told us that she would take a BIG brother. When we explained that wasn't possible, since she was the "big" one. She said she'd settle for a little sister. But soon after that- she changed her mind (as women often do) and decided that she really wanted a little brother. So for months now shes been talking about when her little brother gets here and so on...
We went to one of those awesome 3D ultrasound places that offer a gender check for a small fee after 14 weeks- well, guess what??? We are having a girl! She is NOT getting her little brother this time around. (I promised Scott we would try again for him to get a son). Scott was actually the one who yelled it out during the ultrasound- OMG, I see a hamburger- its a GIRL. The US tech was so impressed that she had only flashed the "goods" up on the screen for a split second and he was able to distinguish that it was missing that key piece to be a boy. HAHAHA maybe, he should think about a career change and become and US tech!! He's good! Well, in the US Ashlyn was so sweet and loving saying she always wanted a sister and was very happy and so on... When we left and loaded into the car- it became a whole different ballgame. The entire way home she screamed at us- I TOLD YOU I WANTED A BROTHER! She was kicking the back of the seat, just literally having a meltdown over it. So I have a bit of advice, maybe don't ask your children what they would like when they are expecting a sibling- because they think they actually get to decide it!! YIKES!!
I think we were all thinking it may be a boy, esp due to the fact that this pregnancy has been so far much more difficult on me. I have felt sick almost every single day. I'm completely exhausted and can't get much of anything done this time around. I don't know if it has to do with chasing a 3 year old also or what, but DANG, I am getting old for this!! My back is already hurting way more than it did the first time, but we knew it would have a lot of strain on it since I've in the meantime had back surgery. I'm trying to just take it easy and do what I can... But, sometimes I feel a little useless. I joke with Ashlyn that I have to get a few things done around the house everyday just so Daddy doesn't fire me. I know he never would. He is such a great husband and father. He is so good with Ashlyn I can't wait to see him in action with 2 little princesses running around making him their Prince :)
I feel very lucky to be in Vegas this time around and be next door to my Mom, so I know if I need something she can help out. Having my family here is a huge support and relief for us.

I'm really looking forward to what the next member of our family will bring- Little Reagan, Mommy already loves you so much and I can't wait to kiss your little face. See you in June sweetheart!!

Christa Winans has shared photos with you

A few pics from our trip to Knott's Berry Farm this week :) View album

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Ok, so I will be the first to admit this post is like a "poor me" type posting.
We've been trying to get pregnant again for a year now... with meds and all that hoopla- I've mentioned in my previous posts about wanting Ashlyn to be a big sister and everything. Well- last weekend Ash and I went to California. The beach and Disneyland (post with pics of that coming soon), anyhow, just walking across the long beach to get to the water, I screwed up my back again. I have been literally in so much pain- yes, tears and all. Since last Saturday. In an effort to combat the pain and function as a "normal" human, mother, and wife. (and also, to make it through the remainder of our trip) I had to start taking pain pills again. I haven't really taken anything since right after I had my surgery in 2009. Well, this past week has reminded me why I HATE taking them in the first place. I actually feel like I'm 1/2 way in a coma. I am so tired, I have literally fallen asleep just sitting down for a minute or 2 this week. I am having trouble even keeping my eyes open. Just driving home from California was nearly impossible- I was so tired and having such trouble staing awake that I had to stop 3 times on the way home. A 4 hour trip took me over 6 hours. Yet, when I go to bed- the task of laying down to sleep through the night has turned into an impossible task. I can usually sleep for about 4 or 5 hours, then I'm jolted awake with sharp pains that take my breath away. I toss and turn for the next few hours until daylight trying to find a position that I can breathe in long enough to fall back asleep. Most nights I end up trying to sleep while sitting up in the recliner. The pain is affecting all of my normal chores- laundry, cleaning, bathing Ashlyn. Scott has definately stepped up to the plate and has literally saved the day- or in this case, the week for me.. for us all. We even got a new bed this weekend to try and help fix me up quicker.. but, that's not working at all. Last night was day 3 and there seems to be no end in sight of this nightly ritual.
In spite of all this crap, I have come to a huge realization. Ironically it was at church on Mother's Day- while I was praying for God to heal me and take this pain away.
I realized the reason WHY I haven't got pregnant- God knows that literally I can't handle it. Physically it quite possibly could be impossible. Thinking of how much stress pregnancy puts on your body and back- how would I even get through that? Clearly if there was a bun in the oven there will be NO pain pills to help cope with the pain. I finally realized that God is saving me from ruining the chance I've been given to be the best Mom that ASHLYN deserves. It is devastating to think of never being pregnant or kissing my newborn or any of that sort of thing, but I already can't do so much with the baby (or big girl) I have now... How selfish of me for wanting more. Ashlyn deserves to have me, in the best possible scenario. It doesn't at this time include me being on bed rest or anything to try and carry a baby to term, so I am putting that wish on the shelf for now. I know God can do miracles and that is absolutely what it would take, but it's not realistic, so it's ok. As I was praying about this and having this conversation with the Lord at church I also asked for him to bless me with acceptance of this, not just now, but in the long term of it.
You know what's weird, our Pastor was giving a message for Mother's Day and he was actually saying- ladies who are struggling with infertility, etc. don't give up- your time is coming. But even though he was saying this for someone there- I know it wasn't for me. I felt nothing personal from that message that it was being directed towards myself.
At this point I'm focusing all my prayers on just getting better. I hate myself right now. I'm hitting rock bottom about the way I feel... I just need to get better. Ashlyn deserves that- and so does Scott. We are a family and if God will heal me to be able to enjoy that to the fullest, I don't need anything else.

NU! YORK! SIDY!

Ok, so Ashlyn and myself had the privilege of visiting the lovely destination New York City. (please note the sarcasm here!) No, the trip wasn't all bad- there were actually some good times... but, for the most part I have to say that I think you must be a crazy person to WANT to live there! We were there for a week, in my opinion that was much too long of a visit. I will spare you all the details and just highlight a few of them that I find noteworthy. Ok here goes-

My little(est) brother got married. The wedding was beautiful- in a lovely old church in Chelsea. Ashlyn was the flower girl :) The cutest one I've ever seen ;) She took her job very seriously.

We saw many of the sights- Statue of Liberty, Ground Zero @ World Trade Center, Wall Street, Central Park, Times Square, public transit system AKA the nasty dirty subway, Empire State Building, Rockafeller Plaza... etc.

It was actually very cool to see all the history and how big things are- but it is a very old city- there are many stairs and no elevators... traveling with a 3 year old in a stroller made things extra exciting (notice again the sarcasm).

We did have a few encounters that were horrifying at the time, yet now I giggle when I think of them. i.e. homeless guy in the subway station at 1am, rushing just to wait, getting snowed on.. I'll never forget these experiences.

We crossed the river over to Hoboken to go see the now famous "Carlos Bakery" from the show Cake Boss- 3 hour wait in freezing temperatures made the group a little grumpy. The cannoli's however- were seriously to die for! YUMMMMMY :)

The rest of this post are just some of the pics of our trip... hope you enjoy seeing them-