So much I want to tell, but I don't know how to start, where to start....I don't even know if I should start, or just forget it. It won't be heard.

Everyday, the so called "talk" destorys us more and more. Intented to construct or intended to make it worse? There is a heart, but no real effort. Every talk brings new hard feeling. I have enough.

"Don't expect I will do it forever..." Yes, this is right, I cannot have any expectation, no more.

I want to write that.....

This is an unhappy time.

When you are loved, you are the princess.

When you are silent, you are like trash.....

Do you have no feeling? Can you have no feeling?

En France finalement

Finally I am in France. It's been a shame that I had never been here even I was working in KLM. Everything goes smooth so far and I really enjoy the trip.

It thought it would not be easy to go there and explore everything by myself, esp with my limited French. But surprisingly I could handle it and it is not as difficult as I thought. My impression of Paris is very good too. People always say that French are arrogant and it is dangerous in Paris. But I was lucky that I met friendly people and I enjoyed myself in this beautiful city!

When I first stepped in the downtown of Paris (while I was walking up to the ground from metro station), the first thing I had was the good smell of bakery!! I strongly felt that I have really arrived Paris!! then after I settled in the hotel, I could not wait to sit in a cafe and try the coffee and croissant!! The weather was so fine as well. Nothing else I could ask for!!! J'adore Paris!!

Now I am in Lyon. I had my first day in school. It's a long tiring day. The course is quite difficult and I know I really need to work hard. I also met new friends from everywhere. We speak English most of the time but hopefully we can swicth to French very soon!! =P

My family here is nice too. They are friendly and helpful. I have to speak French to them even I cannot really express everything I want to say. It is a good practise anyway! I am learning a lot!!

sick and laziness are friends

In this sensitive period of swine flu, I got a flu too. I would still say it is more like a bad cold. I was still flying and as expected the ear pain was killing me and it made me half deaf. Though, physically I was feeling bad but psychologically I was feeling fine. With the concern from mom and friends, I felt more warm.

Today I feel much better, at least I have some energy and mood. Luckily no call for standby, I could stay home and do what I have to do. I make myself recover as soon as possible so that I can fully enjoy the trip to Bangkok tomorrow. It will definitely be a "condensed" one that I have to do what I want to do for 4 days into only 1 day!

For having the golden flights, I miss 2 lessons this week. I can't recall any francais now! And as a matter of fact, the teacher in this term really sucks. I don't know what I have learned so far. aiiii......good student gone bad now! =P

a new page

Perhaps it is time to turn to a new page of my storybook.

I did not realize how long I have been stuck in this position. Well, I am glad to find myself again in these 2 years and able to live my new life. I do enjoy myself and with my family and friends. But in fact, deep inside my mind, I could not really get rid of something which has been hurt and hurt. I chose the way to hide it, to escape from it and to avoid things similar happening again. It was not a problem at all until it is dug out.

If it was not dug out, I would not know it was a problem.

Recently I found that from little stories I read or from songs I listened, they are reminding me "life is too short". Instead of wasting the time in memories, I should open up and look forward. This is something I have known for a long time but I just could not do it right. I might have complicated things and I might have put too many constraints on myself, but now I would really trust my feeling and go for it. I don't have too much time to waste!

Good or bad...no one knows if there is no try!!

I am pleased and ready to write a new chapter for my storybook.

good and bad

Been so long....different things happened, happy more than sad luckily.

Working and no paid leave and working again, life is still going on. It was unexpectedly enjoyable to have a week off and get rid of those "animals", even having less money at the end.

Easter holiday starts today but I stay alone. Everyone seems to enjoy the holiday but I don't, coz I don't really have holiday. And afterall, working is the best shelter for me to get away and refresh.

I Miss Okinawa

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

welcome

Back from Beijing, it was okay. I haven't been there for 3 months. But I did not feel well during the stay, probably because of the weather. I prefer the warm and sunny days in Hong Kong much more. I can feel that the summer is coming and soon I can go to beach again! yooohooo!

March roster is out and as expected, I am having No Paid Leave at the end of the month. I am not going to plan any trip as I have been on my saving mode. Probably I will just stay home. But I always welcome your visit and donation of food! haha......Thanks in advanced!!

stupid

Feb 14 I felt dull.

Don't be stupid, definitely not because of no Valentine on the Valentine's Day. It was just because of something irritating me.

It was actually a planned weekend to do something fun, a softball game, which my best friend and I enjoy a lot but can rarely do. But just because of some childish and old-fashioned thinking of someone, I could not be there. When I first knew it, I was not angry but just sneering at this immature behaviour. For the sake of my best friend, I decided not to go as someone was like threatening that he would not help if I was there. But when I was thinking more and more about that, I got angry. Why could he has this right? Why it is like he was still manipulating things I can do or not? Ridiculous, WTF!

Right on the weekend, I felt so disappointed I "was not allowed" to go there. And at the same time, my friend told me that they did not have enough people to play. What could I do? just stayed at home. For a few moments, I wanted to cry. Sounds silly but that feeling was really bad.

Next day, my friend told me that I should not be too disappointed as I did not lose anything. She and other friends were not in the game but only became audience. I don't think this is fair but ......anyway, it is over. I think it will never ever happen again, at least I would never let my friend to ask for his help anymore.

I was angry and irritated. But somehow I could see a person more clearly, and I can be even more sure I was right to have the decision in the past.

creating my own lifestyle

Confirmed to have no paid leave......very reluctant to but no choice. *sigh*

Time to get more lifestyle for my own as it is hopeless at work. Too much pressure and frustration just make things more negative. I would rather spend my free time to whatever I like, as long as I can get rid of the $hit. I am glad enough even just staying home and sleeping all day, afterall I will be broke soon!

I am thinking a lot of ways to have lifestyle in the money-saving way. The most basic thing is that I cannot shop much now. Luckily, I could still have some lifestyle without this big interest. Like yesterday, I was lucky enough to be invited to a Iranian reception in which I can know more about the historical Persia and taste their food. It has widen my horizon. At least I realized that Iran is not a bad country and probably it is just a wrong perception by many people that they are similar to Iraq. I hope one day I can travel to this friendly country.

Last night I also saw a movie, Bride Wars, which is typically a female movie. It is not too bad, especially there is an unexpected ending. Friend and I both enjoyed last night. We agree that lifestyle may not be something luxurious but it must be something make you relaxed. Even just a cup of coffee or a simple movie, it is a good way how you treat yourself.

As we feel so difficult in recent days, we must bring something bright and positive to ourselves. "Positive Energy", I start to believe in it!!

Kung Hey Fat Choi!

Chinese New Year has came and gone, so quickly. As usual I didn't have much time enjoying this big festival. But at least I could have dinner and gambling night with my family on New Year's Eve. This is a must for every year!

The other time I spent with my friends and work. It is not that bad to go to work as we get some red packets! This is the best comfort to work during CNY. But I wonder if the year of Ox is a good year for me. It seems that my luck is so-so. I lost money in Hangzhou probably by pickpocket, hurt my finger in the hotel in early morning and bled, hurt my ankle inflight......I felt so "black"!!

Hope that's all my bad luck of the year! Not anymore!!!

we should overcome

The atmosphere is dead.
The mood is bad.


Nothing to say.
Everyone becomes numb and dumb.


I wanna get rid of this grey time.
I wanna see the rainbow.


We will see the rainbow.

My always favourite

This is the best ever from Take That!!
What a great show!! It makes me like Tango!!

party period

Since 2 weeks ago when my annual leaves started, it has been a party period. Christmas, New Year, friends' weddings and birthday...all bring lot of fun. It also brought me a cheerful mood and I would very much like to keep it.

Because it is so frustrating to see all the new rules at work. So many negative changes. We feel exploited but no one dare to speak up or they might lose the job. It is really difficult to understand the way they are doing. As I cannot understand and I cannot speak up, I am just going to do my own responsibility and then party and chill-out when I can get rid of this $hit.

girls party on Xmas eve

Xmas trip to Shanghai

Rainbowling Party on New Year's eve