So we parted

Breathe in
a face, a place, a voice
breathe out.

A touch, a scent,
the colour of the sky
in the blink of an eye.

A fleeting memory
hurried past,
as I walked away.

So we parted,
set each our way
The memory and I.

I stopped

The other day, I stopped. Because I can. Because it felt like I ought to be out of gas. Bitter, bitter coffee in hand, settled down, in the corner of the couch, as the Department of Electrical & Computer Engineering, happened, around me.

"but what was he saying about the duty-cycle--?"
"Just have a conditional loop, hook it up to your vga-sync..."
"Yes, yes, I don't think it's drawing enough current"
"...glitches after you ported it to the RTOS?"
"I have a lecture now, meet me in my office at 2.30"
"Yo! How'd the interim report go?"
"...assuming it's at the position specified by the odometry."
"Nah, still working on my parser..."

Yes, feels like home.

Not just the two, remembering you

Wasn't gonna put this up. Ouh well...

--

Eyes closed, I try to recall
every word we spoke that day.
On Aunty's slouch of a couch
at Grandma's house, blabbing away
as the hours slip away.

Just like when we were sixteen,
(just like when we were six)
just like nothing happened in between.

I hear your voice.

Telling me about your friend
who played in the band,
now lives in a foreign land,
married to the rich boyfriend.

How horrible it was
to stay in the hospital
how the doctors were kind
but the nurses so cruel.

How you hated all the pills
they weren't a treat,
and what a bother it was
simply to walk and to stand.

I hear your voice.

Your tone, anxious, mildly, always.
the way you formed your words,
the sudden giggle, that I didn't
know I'll miss this much.

How we reminisced old times,
Nanga screwing up her face,
being told she couldn't possibly remember,
we called Miss-twenty-one, "too small".

The day refused to stay for us,
the dreaded goodbyes, so we hug and kiss,
as I hide my surprise -
you're so light in my arms.

We walk to the door,
And I'm stalling you,
don't want you to leave,
just like when we were kids.

What a pain we've grown up,
a bit too much, for a tantrum or two,
so I say I'll visit before I go,
so until then, goodbye, take care.

(A visit never paid.
Just a call that woke you up
two hours before
I had to leave)

They said you'll get better,
that you'll be fine,
and all you needed
was a lot of time.

No one said, you'll only get worse,
and the last time we spoke
your voice was so frail,
hardly carried across the miles.

Can't believe you're gone,
because I hear your voice,
though I prayed to God
to end your woes.

There's a picture of us,
all three dressed up,
the sun in our faces,
it's ninety-three.

no way you're gone,
how can you be gone?
with a smile like that,
brighter than the sun.

There's your name in my phone,
I think to myself,
we really should talk,
it's simply been far too long.

But when I do call,
I find out, silly girl,
you haven't paid your bill
for far too long.

You can't be gone.
I need one more day,
there's so much to say.

And it has to be
three on the couch-
not just the two,
remembering you.

When I pray, my heart and mind open,
I know, I feel you're in a better place,
you're probably giggling, like you always do,
(why you found everything funny, I will never know)
I know you're happy, but you know I'm selfish,
I'd rather you were here, or at least where I can call.


...
I'll try not to whine, because I know you're fine,
I'm thankful to God, for the blessing that is you.
I just wish you'd told me, it'll be the last goodbye.

To our sister who left ahead of us, on the 4th of October. May God bless her, wash away her sins, multiply the rewards for her good deeds. Ameen.