Monday, November 29, 2004
why oh why am i so stupid.as alex said..make peaople happy by making myself miserable.does that really work?which fucking idiot would have done the same as i have?the answer obviously is none.None are as stupid.no idiot in this world would live by their so called 'principles' and so rigidly follow it as i have.but yet i do so still.why?i know not.but then again,i am stupid to let this befall upon me twice in a space of 6 months.twice i have shunned away my emotions and follow my 'principles' and be left in misery.this has probably shaved off like 20 years off my life.superb aint it.
{/8:17 am}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Sunday, November 28, 2004
sometimes i just wonder if theres any point in having best friends.maybe its just me with my accursed bad luck but i seem to run into problem after problem with the best friends i make.and i cant seem to let go of themthey mean too much to me....but sadly not vice versa.
the result is me making all the effort but i'm just left hanging by the edge of the clip not knowing what to do to cry or to hate.sms unanswered, hearts broken and stuff i do gone unnoticed...all these sound weirdly repetitive as it has happened repeatingly in primary secondary etc.pretty sad if you ask me.here i am trying to cherish my friendship as much as possible and there they go taking the words 'we dont care much' and smacking it splat in my face.
i guess the only real friends stick to you through thick and thin and i have known a precious few.you guys out there...you know who you are.thank you for everything and may our friendship stay on for many years to come.love you guys
{/11:32 am}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Saturday, November 27, 2004
Welcome To My Life...yea my life...well at least currently
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
{/5:19 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Friday, November 26, 2004
normal...if it was normal i wouldnt be eating alone.if it was normal i wouldnt be avoided.if it was normal...i would be chatting online.if it was normal...if it was normal...oh i dont know whatever.so my for best friend huh.
{/10:31 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Wednesday, November 24, 2004
my past few entries have been rather depressing no?sigh..well ok here we go again..why the depressing title?well see its like this....somehow i have a very uneasy feeling that i seem to be drifting away from my bunch of pals.people dont use to call me by my nickname,they disappear and i'm like alone,i dont get ruffles on the hair anymore and...theres like...feeling that i'm so afraid of...like losing them.i mean everytime i look up i dont see them, i crane my neck and turn around every like 5 minutes and i still dont see them and i'm like...where did they go...*sob*mayb its just me isolating myself...but..i try hard!..i just have a bad feeling about everything.
dear blog i suppose you're the only one i can talk to...kinda embaressing talking to others bout it no?it seems like my readers are dwinddling...hahahaha cant really blame them, me coming out with silly stuff like this,but i need some outlet to release this and so since i was online....i turned to you.well..thanks for absorbing all my moodiness and stuff i'm just feeling really down now i need a shoulder to cry to...and a hug.oh sarah i wish you were here now i need someone to talk to and spill everything to and everything.boohoo.
{/7:16 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Friday, November 19, 2004
this entry is a big sorry to my college friend for having endured me through the past week or two.
guys, when i was in the car today i was thinking over stuff and i've come to realise what a stupid annoying brat i've been.i mean first was that outing incident when i made a big fuss outta nothing, and my small fits and tantrums throughout the week,with me complaining about my work or almost just everything under the sun.i'm sorry i've been so hard and touchy and perhaps arrogant throughtout the week...and i only realise i was being so after i do stuff that made me arrogant and shit.
i've also been rather sensitive about being left out havent i?well...yea i guess i have...dont ask mewhy but...mayb its just stress.oh well...on the lighter note, i've spent a quality 2 and a half hrs with you guys playing badminton!it was great!jess whooped my ass!=P*shame shame* but there was something missing...yea...honfaai...i missed your partnership against the forces of evil....the Sibu force!i hav failed to beat them...but as long as the light KL side prevails, we shall defeat them!as they are only two...as all Sibu force laws go....one a master...one an apprentice.
*wink*
{/10:36 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Tuesday, November 16, 2004
*sizzle sizzle* 
{/10:09 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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FREAKING HOT
{/10:02 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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me being an absolute pig
{/11:25 am}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Monday, November 15, 2004
sarahs leaving.and i havent seen her!!this is how the convo went.
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
u noe ah to b honest i hav no idea wen i can visit u
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
i think it'll havta b nxt yr
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
cos by the time i come back from melb..u will b havin exams..
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
then afta dat..holiday already!
they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:
!!!
they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:
when are you leaving!?!
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
dis thurs
they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:
WHAT
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
n i havn packed!
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
haha
they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:
this SUCKS!
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
why?!
they say i have no emotion.wrong.irritation is an emotion. says:
i havent seen you for ages and now your leaving and i dunno when i'll see you and i wont get to see you until dunno when i dont even get to see you during ur bday and u oso didnt see me when i had MY birthday oh this is so bad i make such a bad friend dont i do i still qualify?!
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
wat shit u tokin bout!
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
of course u still qualify!
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
you are like one of my best guy frens okay!
***§pA®kLÏnG ÐiåMônD*** ~*tipsy|toxic*~ says:
anyways..why wont you see me on my bday?!
ok...we can stop there.its bad enough.BOOHOO......*note* this is not sarcastic.
{/10:34 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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last night i had the weirdest dream i GOTTA tell you guys.i dreamt that my dad forced married me to this UGLY woman.it was FREAKING scary.we were at a wedding dinner and someone just invited me to the stage and annouced that i will be marrying this this girl and i was staring at my parents going...WHAT?!
then i ran down and i started arguing with my dad...why am i marrying this girl?dont i get a choice??i'm only to be married once in my life!!and shes SO UGLY!
then poof i wake up to the nice new day when i officially get MY car.yeap.you dont havta run off to clean your ears or eyes.MY car.bwhahaha happy happy.
so those of you out there....happy interpreiting my dream.and tell me about it.
and welcome back ck we missed you.or still miss you.whichever one you prefer.=)
{/10:21 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Saturday, November 13, 2004
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
{/1:49 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Saturday, November 06, 2004
i got my chem marks on friday...guess what.while everyone were rueing on how they could have got 1 more mark to perfection, i was left in the mud with a totally STINKING mark.sigh...
saturday morning.my mum asked me of i wanted to go watch shark tale.i happy agree...while thinking...what a lucky lil boy i am!....not.yea sure i'm gona watch sharktale...but with...who?my calls for companionship falls to deaf ears as i faced rejection after rejection.oh well..just watch it on my own...
during the show however suddenly my head started throbbing, adding on to my already leaking nose.oh great...what a time to get sick.i endured 1 and a half hours of throbbing headache,fever and noseblock with two stupid babies wailing behind me.driving me to the brink of insanity i whispered angrily just enough for that STUPID mum to hear....'JESUS CHRUST SHUT UP!'
after the movie when we were sitting outside i met jessica with one of her friends i think...and the mother of two babies.why do i think so...cuz she was glaring at me like a bitch.me, in a really bad mood and sick aswell...just have her my BITCHEST stare and told my brother and sister..and also to her as i was quite loud...'stare lah!keep staring..what is SHE gonna do!noisy idiots.'
sigh...oh well...so here i am typing all this fresh from a nap fuelled by 2 panadols.and i'm off for another panadol..
{/7:15 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Thursday, November 04, 2004
ok.its official.i am seriously FREAKED now about my maths b results...i'm gonna DIE...and my chem was so CARELESS...sigh...sorry...no mood to blog now just needed to..release some tension.
{/8:11 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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Monday, November 01, 2004
ok tjiawen last one i promise..
{/7:11 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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amazing the ice isent melting eh she SO HOT
{/5:58 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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hey jh and hf...more eye candy!
{/5:57 pm}
Signed by Yours Truly.
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