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8 Years Of Insanity And Counting

hello my dearest dearypokss!

so I have decided to put my life back on track - life has been a big mess/disorganised one the past 2 years every since uni graduation. So 2 days ago it suddenly hit me that I have to plan my life all out again and put it back on track. Or at least start with following some sort of routine. I used to think routines are stupid, so expected, not my style y'kow - i like uncertainties, i enjoy doing impromptu stuff, i thought planning the whole week/month out for example is boring - it's too..expected. but i realise my way of living is really bad - there's no growth, nothing for you to keep track on without a routine. thinking way back in primary school, there's a fixed routine everyday. and that's how i used to learn. that was how i grow. that was how i see progress.
I just wanted to have fun past 2 years, carefree, go out late every night (i used to think people who stay home during weekends are so weird), hang out with friends, laugh, refusing to give deep thoughts to where these are bringing me in life. Just taking things as they come, which is not that bad a thing actually, but still, yes although it took me this long to realise (or actually I might have realised long time ago but just refused to do anything about it) i know it is time to change this unhealthy lifestyle of mine!!

So career wise - just reflecting if this is really the right job for me. I have a marketing mentor (signed up for this program and got selected and allocated a marketing pro in the field so I'm pretty lucky!), but her thoughts are really different from mine. How do I put it..she's really realistic and focused in her own way. But sometimes I don't agree with her, but her sharing advice and her experiences with me is really valuable. She was asking me to rethink if my current job is jeopardizing my marketing career. I think it is a good experience in my current company, in terms of growing my character, and I don't mind staying on to learn more about it, but frankly I don't think I want to do this for my entire life. Maybe the next 1-2 years? But after that I am not sure where this will bring me. Maybe I can start my own business in this related field  (which has always been a dream for me to have my own business) targeting smaller sort of niche market but yeah it is too early to tell now. So anyway I have been giving this quite abit of thoughts - and it is hard for my current situation in this foreign land to establish for my career without a pr. I need to try harder and be more proactive in job seeking and pathing out my career. I still can't see where I will be in 5 years. 10 years. and that is going to be a problem. that I have to overcome by focusing and finding out where my interest lies. How did you girls find out what you like? I am not sure why it is so hard for me. Maybe I am too indecisive. Maybe I can adapt too well to all sorts of fields that I can't tell what I don't like..I just grow to like everything. I need more experiences I guess to discover more about my interests but suggestions please on how I can gain all these experiences? Get involved in more events and talk more to people I guess..

Anyway, so health wise - haha as you guys realised my face condition has been really bad - thanks to late nights and binge drinking and make-up and more make up to cover up. really bad. So this is my wake up call. I know since secondary school we've all been  saying yes we need to lose weight etc. but nothing actually really happened. haha. So I am going to make it happen this time - a 10 week challenge! To drop 5kgs and change my lifestyle. Pretty achievable right? Basically just avoid sugar, eat more veg and fruits. just clean eating. and I am going to run every weekend and just do simple tiny work-outs at home at night before I go to bed everyday. Suddenly wanting to change to a healthier lifestyle partly because I signed up for half marathon in Oct!! haha need to be able to run 21km and I want to run it under 3 hours. not that tough but at least this is a pretty achievable and doable goal. Makes it more real and makes me more motivated. Shall take it step by step.

And also partly because I think it is time to establish a real relationship with someone. sick of me always giving up half way or just leaving things hanging or unspoken, or maybe I have nothing real to offer/ i don't know. But I know that if I don't love myself and get things back on track how can I have enough love and care to be shared with someone else. impossible. so yes me needs to change yo!! :)

So yes just wanting to share my thoughts with you all on this..rare Saturday afternoon that I am home (I just came back from a run btw heehee) - though we don't really all talk that often everyday but you are still my most trustable, closest friends and I will always want to share with you my happiness, struggles, everything in life  :) love you all!

P.S. so yes me you're welcome to check on me and give me encouragements for my 10week challenge okay  pokkss haha to make sure im kept in focus! :) haha love you! xxx

















YIPPIE YIPPPPPPPIE WOW two poks updated this blog!

at this age and time, haha i still blog okay (call me old-fashioned) :D

haiz. qi's topic make me so emo. life is really full of unexpected things so let's cherish every day we have k. and omg, i just realise nxt year this time, it's what they predict - 'the world's end'

haha i myself am a naysayer too so i sort of partly believe in it. if it happens to be, please remember there's a group of people here who love you very much k - we criminalz! LOL.

haha okay please do not freak out. it might not happen.

okay i'm bored. am waiting for our dear nui's arrival because she's supposed to bunk in tonight due to her very busy meeting schedule which is going to end too late for her to go home.

MISS YOU POKS!

nxt week going sing K with chian and nui wheaaaaaaa :D

QI REMEMBER TO DATE US WHEN U'RE BACK.

♥ chiann
haha i was too lazy to write a post but had no choice because WHERE DID OUR CHATBOX GO TO?? wanted to just leave a stopping by note man. haha and i see bandiangongzhu under our favs. ohgosh!! and one more person ): r.i.p. anna fu (though we really didnt appreciate her at that time I think im starting to understand maybe she was really trying to help us? ohwells).
I really don't like how things can happen so suddenly and everyone is caught most unprepared for it. Feeling more so today because my friend's dad just got stroke suddenly one morning in May, and their entire lives now have changed. She has to go back to Malaysia after graduation now and all of them have to takeover the dad's business and stuff, settling with all the business partners and shareholders etc. And for her graduation previously everything was so well-planned, that her dad and fam was supposed to come to her graduation today and then they all fly off to Tasmania for their family holiday. But now he's wheelchair bound, can't talk/eat/sit properly. He looked so tired and weak today ): It's really sad to see how this can all happen just like that. I would be so distraughted if I was him, especially just then at the graduation hall, seeing all the other parents so chatty and proudly drinking champagne and celebrating their kid's graduation, but here I am wheelchair bound, and my entire family has to take care of me. I bet that feeling really sucks. Especially as a man with all their man pride u know. Sigh. Nobody would have foreseen this like 6 months ago. Just thankfully her dad is recovering fast and could at least come for her graduation and I am happy for her.

Anyways, moving away from this heavy topic - i couldn't even recall this url and i typed in criminalrockz.blogspot.com first try lol. proves how long I haven't been here! Idk how that came to mind maybe cuz i saw it on some neoprint of ours before

missing u deariepoks. why dont we meet up next Jan to go visit our beloved nygbs where our now decade-long friendship started :))) love u all and please please please do take good care of yourself!! wherever you are!! my love is with youuuuuuuuuuuu <3 <3 <3
OMOOOO!

someone actually updated the blog, gave me a shock

thanks qi, for remembering that this place still exists, despite the mess of various other social media platforms out there.

i miss you guys too.

i just got my iPhone btw!:) wheaaaaaaaaaa. add me on watsapp watsapppp!!


<3 chiann



dearies! i had an awesome dream abt you guys last night.

a very lonnnnng and awesome dream abt us meeting up. haha. in some themepark-like place.

we went to take roller coaster and then swim (HAHA)

i could remember most of you all appearing, except..jodie and hong..i think? oops.they were not free or sth (in the dream). haha dun be angry..not purposely one. i dint rly have a choice. :p

and the finale was.....

WE WENT DRAGONBOATING!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

random but i think the dream lasted the whole night, which was awesome :)

♥ chiann
LOL. sorry qi i had to XXXX those words cos i scared she manages to find her way here too =.=

hahah cos she TOLD/ASKED my bf abt the stuffs she reads on my blog?

weirdo.

haha. for complete stories, i'll look for a safer place to tell u all :)
and omgosh there's smelly guy sitting beside me in the library now.
yucks
oo omgosh THE psycho ex-gf!! haha WHY IS SHE STALKING YOU??
omgosh and how did u know?

oo ok i just found out that was XXXX.

omgosh crazyy. is the gf from the XXXX too?
hahahaha i shall blog here! :)
dno if you all still check.

lol

my bf's ex is stalking my blog so i better blog here. shld be safe i hope?

hahahahha!

THE ♥s OF OUR LIVES.....


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SHIT. i feel damn bad :(

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