Happy New Year

It's 118th minute of 2008.

Generally, 2007 was way better than 2006 I guess. It was an important year as well. I sat for my SPM in 2007. I doubt I'd ever forget this. I left SAB in 2007. I got my driving license in 2007 (though I still can't drive good enough, shame...).

Great changes are going to happen in 2008. I can't believe in one week's time I'm going to leave my home and live in KL. My feelings are kind of mixed up. I'm both excited and worried. I think most people feel excited about going to college as well. However, I'm never an independant or outgoing person. I guess I did get better as I grew up, but I still remember how hard it was for me when I was in Form 1. I hated everyday I spent in SAB at that time. I'm not sure if I've become good at coping with a new environment. I dislike this bit of me so much.

Anyway, a new year is supposed to bring new hopes, isn't it? I'll make sure I'll be more ready for challenges this year.

2008, here I come.

Ex-classmates Gathering

I thought it was going to be awkward when I was told about the gathering of 6M, Chung Hwa 1B (2002). But then, I really wanted to meet the ex-classmates, although we might not have loads of things to chat about anymore. 5 years is more than enough to change one's personality. I'm sure that I'm not exactly the same with the 'me' 5 years ago.

It was held at Halo Cafe (海螺餐厅). I think it was right for me to go, even though there were moments when we just sat there, listening to others' conversation. I almost forgot the names of some of them, and I couldn't recognise a few of the guys. At least it helped me recall their names and faces, haha. It wasn't a very comfortable place for conversations. The singers sang loudly (I know some people enjoy that) and sometimes we had to shout. It was hard to speak to people sitting at the other end of the tables...

Anyway, I think it was worthwhile. I always love my experience in primary school, and that includes ex-classmates in 6M (although we aren't talking to each other anymore). I was happy enough to be able to meet them and exchange some news. I'm definitely looking forward to the next gathering.

Before 'Graduation' (from SAB)

KX, Pei Fen, Jing Ying, Su Jia, Me and Shi Hwee

A lot of girls... and the Principal

Form 5 Prefects and Pn Fung

The Friday before SPM, there was a 'Majlis Restu' in our school. We were all crazy taking photos here and there. Too bad my camera was spoiled (oh my... WHY??!). These photos were sent to me by Khai Jie. There were some hugging and crying, but, not a single tear from me!! Hehe... Anyway, though I'm not feeling sad about leaving SAB, but I'll cherish the memory. Good or bad, it's a priceless experience. And, I'm glad that I met some good friends there.

Busy days

You know what? I've finally done something other than sitting in front of the computer, sleeping and changing tv channels every 5 seconds.

Firstly, I went shopping at Wetex yesterday afternoon. I did that mainly to avoid myself from going moldy sitting at home. My cousin went to buy a dress for dinners, and I met a former schoolmate working there. We simply gave each other a smile. We never actually knew each other, and I'm still wondering why on earth did she ask me to write for her biography book (纪念册). So, it's weeeeeks after she gave me the colour papers that I managed to produce something. And, I used the wrong colour. I used a white colour to write and she told me she never distributed any white papers. Don't misunderstand, I'm not complaining that someone asked me to write for her. I'm glad. It's just a bit weird...

P/S They distribute colour papers to friends asking them to write something on those papers, then they bind the papers to form a 'book'.

Secondly, I went to a chinese musical instruments concert at Chung Hwa High School. One of my 'far far away' relatives (my cousin's cousin) were playing pipa (琵琶). Well, speaking as someone who doesn't know how to play those intruments at all, they were quite good.

Thirdly, today we went to Melaka. We went to Tesco and a new shopping mall which I'm not sure about the name (It's 英雄广场，if I'm not mistaken). It was not good in Tesco. It's crowded and a little bit stuffy. In the 'new shopping mall which I'm not sure about the name', I bought (my mum bought, actually) a sweater and a bag, to be used when I go to Taylor.

So, about an hour ago I got home, and I bathed, and now I'm back in front of the computer. I'm glad that Taylor's opening In January or I'd have to go into a rehab for addiction towards internet.

Preparation

Today I went shopping with Callin. Actually, I was sort of accompanying her. She was buying things to be brought to KL. She'll be studying South Australian Matriculation at Taylor's. However, she'll be living in rented house (or room, not sure) because the hostel is full. I didn't have clear ideas about what to bring yet, so it was mainly her who did the shopping.

Come to think of it, I really don't know exactly what should I prepare. I wasn't worrying and planning much about it until today I saw Callin busy preparing. (Not like me at all. Generally I'm the one who worries and thinks...).

Last night, I started making a list of what I'd want to bring. Gosh, the list is long!

Sick

*sniff* *sniff* *sneeze*

It's soooooooo irritating. I got sick in a holiday!! I started to feel itchy in my nose a few days ago, but I thought it's because it was too sensitive. You know... I have a runny nose whenever I come too close with dust etc (small particles)... I have a runny nose everytime I clean up my room. The most recent case was when I dumped all my secondary school books into my brother's room.

So, yesterday, I spent the whole day sneezing, rubbing my nose with tissues (sorry, trees), and sleeping.

The Golden Compass/KL

THE GOLDEN COMPASS

I've watched 'The Golden Compass', and I must say (though I don't feel like admitting at all), it's more interesting than Harry Potter. It's definitely much better than Narnia in 2005, which I think was a bit 'childish'. The visual effects were fantastic. Many of the scenes were magnificent, especially in the North Pole. Not to mention, Lyra's Compass/Alethiometer is really cool... Dakota Blue Richards was good. She didn't seem 'fake' if compared to other child actors. And, the daemons were so cute! They looked so lively, thanks to the latest visual technology. I love Lyra's daemon, Pan!

Sorry, I'm not good at writing movie reviews, but one thing for sure - I can't wait to see the next. I was quite disappointed when the story just ended like that.

http://www.goldencompassmovie.com/

KL

Pavillion, KL

Oh... I forgot to mention, I watched the movie in KL. Cinema in Time Square. After the watching the movie, we we went to Times Bookstore. That, is what I call bookstore. There were so many books! I've bought 3, only, because I only had RM130 with me. After reading My Sister's Keeper, I wanted to try other books of Jodi Picoult, so I bought The Pact and Nineteen Minutes. I hope they're as nice as My Sister's Keeper. After buying the books, we walked, walked, walked and walked. We walked from Time Square to Pavillion. I wished I was wearing sport shoes, not sandals!! Then we continue to shopped. My legs were painful that night! Shopping really was a tiring exercise...

Unlike Muar, all the the shopping malls were decorated for Christmas. I liked the white christmas tree in Pavillion the most. Why was (and is still) my camera spoiled??!!

By the way, my cousin has bought me a 2008 calendar of Order of the Phoenix! That was really an unexpected gift. Thanks!!

My Sister's Keeper

This is not an advertisement. I'm writing this, because I feel that I should introduce this book. I read the chinese version, which was about 3cm thick (I can't measure now because I've lent it to my cousin). I started reading at around 12.30 in the morning (am). After the first page, I was so eager to know what was going to happen next. In the end, I finished the whole book by 6 in the morning... and I kept crying while reading!

[Plot summary from Wikipedia]
Anna came into the world by in vitro fertilization so that she would be a genetic match for her older sister Kate, who was diagnosed with acute promyelocytic leukemia when she was 2 years old. When Anna was born, her cord blood was donated to her sister, but when the leukemia returned she then had to donate blood and bone marrow. When Kate's kidneys fail Anna is expected to donate a kidney to save her sister, but she hires a lawyer to be medically emancipated from her parents and gain the right to make the decision for herself. Her lawyer, Campbell Alexander, works for her pro bono.
At the end of the book it is revealed that the reason Anna initiated the lawsuit was because her sister didn't want her to donate the kidney. After the trial she is granted medical emancipation but, just as Anna is about to reveal her decision if she wants to give Kate her kidney or not, she becomes brain dead unexpectedly of a closed-head injury suffered in a car crash. As Campbell Alexander has power of attorney over Anna's medical decisions he grants the use of Anna's kidney for her sister Kate. In the epilogue of the book we see that Kate survived the transplant, even though the doctors thought she might be too weak to survive. Kate believes that the reason she survived is because Anna took her place in heaven.

I tried to imagine it. If the whole point of my existance was merely to save another life, how would I feel? If the moment I was born, my parents weren't thinking about me, but about my cord blood, how would I feel? How far would I go if I were in Anna's place? Should we ask for more and more sacrifices if we know that the chances of a patient's survival is near to impossibility?

In fact, everyone in Anna's family was in pain. I felt upset for everyone of them. The parents wouldn't bear to give up even the slightest chance to save their daughter, even though they knew they owe Anna and Jesse so much. They wanted to care for Anna and Jesse so much, but they, especially Sara, couldn't leave Kate alone, for even a minute. The siblings, had to give up normal life because of their sister's deadly disease. They hated this kind of life, but they know they had to do it for Kate. Anna and Kate were just like normal sisters if it wasn't because of the disease. Kate could hardly see her future. She chose to give up. Anna wanted Kate to live, but she refused to donate her kidney. Deep in their hearts, there was a violent war going on, two opposing desires.

The ending was so surprising.

Surprisingly cruel. Surprisingly warm.

This book had me totally immersed. It kept my thinking for a long time even after I finished reading the last sentence. I wonder about the meaning behind everything.

New Template

Maybe it's something to do with mood. I suddenly feel like I need something 'white'. Black seems 'moody'. That's why I changed my template from black to this one.

Happy~

AT LAST. Wahahahaha.... the end of SPM... At this moment, I don't care about As... I'm almost sure I won't get straight, couple of Bs maybe, but I'm not stupid enough to let it destroy my joy.

Can't you see?

Almost everyone is planning to 'happy hour'. I heard there're parties being held tonight, and some are planning to 'shop in all shopping centres in Muar within one day'. Uh... Honestly, I'm happy enough with just computer games, internet and television. I know, I'm quite anti-social sometimes. I mean, I really don't enjoy shopping and partying much.

By the way, I'm going to KL this weekend. Frankly, normally, I won't be so happy about going to KL, but this time, I go without having to think 'oh no! I've forgotten the functions of progesterone!' or 'Hm... what did Suruhanjaya Cobbold do?'.

Have I mentioned? I'm going to Taylor on 5th or 6th of January 2008. Exactly one month after SPM. I'm both excited and worried. I long for a new beginning in a new school, but yet I know I'll miss my home even though it's only about 2 and a half hours from Muar. Really, I'll miss my bed, pillow and sheets so much... Few of my friends are going. Callin seems quite interested, but she might take Canadian or Monash. Charayne won't be entering in January because she's going for National Service.

Almost the end of exam

Only one paper left! Haha!!

What a wonderful feeling it is. Even the fact that almost all the papers were difficult, and that I might not get straight A1s can't stop me feeling cheerful. Chemistry and Physics papers were harder than any papers I'd done before. Luckily, Biology wasn't as hard as the others (not long after I left the exam hall I realised that I might have done a serious mistake in my paper 3, hehe, but right now, who cares~~~). Although people told us that our papers should be easy because we're the first badge to learn science in English, but reality proved otherwise. The first paper - BM, gave us a hint about how the other papers were going to be like. Out of 10+ 'spot questions', and despite of teachers' discussions about the 'hot' topics, NONE of them came out. I think half of the students in the hall stared at the questions of our first paper for about 2 seconds when we first looked at the them (well, if nobody else did, I did).

Come to think of it, my last paper - Chinese will be on next Tuesday. It seems that I haven't been writing Chinese and reading Chinese books (except newspapers which I read everyday, but I normally just glance through...) for a long time. Maybe I should find some Chinese books... ...

Taylor

We went to Subang Jaya today, to have a look at Taylor. Frankly, the school definitely didn't look as good as Sunway. The main campus was rather small (maybe even smaller then SAB, but we didn't look at other parts except the front). We also went to My Place apartment. Well, it was rather like the way I imagined it, except that the main campus really seemed small. However, I wasn't exactly expecting a high class building. I think what made me wanted to go there was the reputation, and the scholarship of course.

So ;) , I've filled the form and will mail it as soon as possible.

Taylor Principle's Award

I'm really grateful. Really really really. I was quite surprised when I got the phone call from Ms Liz Tan, telling me that I'd got the scholarship which worth RM 10 000! Well, 10 000 isn't much if you compare to 26 000 (Tuition fee+others all together), only about 30+ %, but that doesn't stop me feeling grateful. At least something good comes this way in the mist of bad mood due to SPM. My parents say they want to have a look at the hostel first. They don't like the fact that the hostel is out of the school compound at first, but my dad admits that Taylor is probably the best (or one of the best) private colleges in Malaysia. My dad also suggested me staying at my aunt's house, which is also in Subang Jaya, and not far away from Taylor University College Main Campus... Well, there's still a lot of uncertainties, but as I said, It's something good.

Strive

I'd been living an useless life for a few days. I found everything but studying interesting. I watched tv, went online, even played games. I felt so guilty, but I couldn't find the strengh to concentrate on my studies. Luckily, I met my cousin on MSN yesterday night. She asked me why I wasn't studying. That was like pulling me from blissful but unrealistic dream. So, thanks to her, I managed to do a few sets of Physics today (I'd rather I did Biology, but I really had to be realistic) .

I don't know what's going to happen. I have to admit that, my life's been very smooth till now, and I appreciate it very much. I've scored good grades in UPSR and PMR (I doubt that it's nothing to do with luck...), but I really don't know about SPM. Right now, I can only do what I can.

By the way, I've found a great medical site (which normal people like me can understand), thanks to my cousin Xiao Man's blog.

http://www.medicinenet.com/

Computer game

Oh... it is completely out of character for me to post such a picture. But the game itself is really nice. I usally like computer games with more story, but not those like Warcraft. I love this story. And, the song, 星之所在 is beautiful as well. Hehe, it's 35 days till SPM, and I'm planning to play some games after that. 空之轨迹Sc is on my top list.

爷爷，your memory lives on.

28/9/2007. Friday.



I went home, expecting nothing but another ordinary day with a bit of a cold (I wasn't feeling well), but once I got into the car, my mum filled me in on news that grandfather was seriously ill. I went to his house for lunch. When I called him he didn't seem to realise I was there. He was breathing quickly and noisily, apparently with difficulties. After lunch, I went back home, unaware that I wasn't going to see him breathing anymore.



About 3, my mum called from grandfather's house, telling us that he'd passed away. I was shocked, and numb. As I walked to grandfather's house, I was confused. Death was something too far away from me (though it never really was from anybody). I expected this day since grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, but seeing it happening and expecting it happening was not the same. Not at all.



Everyone was crying. I took a few minutes to digest that before I found my own eyes wet.



In the next few days, people coming to grandfather's house to pay their last respect. Though I never really enjoy noisy situations like that, but I was really glad that people remembered grandfather even after he'd died.



He's someone worth remembering forever.

Harry Potter OoTP Soundtrack

Some Test

***You Are A Realistic Romantic***


It's easy for you to get swept away by romance...
But you've done a pretty good job keeping perspective.
You're still taken in by love poems and sunsets
You just don't fall for every dreamy pick up line!


Are You Romantic or Realistic?http://www.blogthings.com/areyouromanticorrealisticquiz/


***Your Personality Cluster is Introverted Sensing***


You are:

Responsible, ethical, and trustworthy
Loyal, with a sense of roots in your community
Someone who treasures and remembers the past
Adverse to surprises and the unknown


What's Your Personality Cluster?
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourpersonalityclusterquiz/

The end of trial... but not the end of it

Trial examination. I can't believe 3 weeks, 3 miserable weeks have finally passed. It's not the end of it. Neither is it the end of hard work. We still have 50+ days until the real SPM.

I've started to feel the pressure I felt 2 years ago, before PMR. I feel like I'm so sick of studying. As if I've got ENOUGH of it, although it shouldn't be enough. My brain keeps telling me to work hard, harder and harder. But my heart is craving for fresh air, for sunlight, for freedom.

When was the last time I laughed without pressure?

Today...

Today, we were scolded by our teachers!!! Haha, if this had happened last year, I don't know how upset I would be. We were told to stand in front of all the chinese girls! Really, sometimes you have to be more 'thick-faced'. Feeling bad just because you're scolded doesn't sound worthy for me. What important is what you've learnt, not how upset you've felt. Well, it wasn't entirely our fault. Maybe I should be a little bit more afraid of the teachers, then I would have gone to the assembly site in time. I was so busy studying History that I didn't even look up when I ask my friends whether we should go. Some people did go... but I really hardly noticed anyone going, except Kai Xin, but I thought she was just being... hp (no offence). Why it didn't occur in my mind that those people were going for assembly? Why I didn't thought of the possibility of being scolded? I'm usually the one who worries about this kind of things... maybe I was just too occupied with that History.

I don't think any teacher would believe this 'excuse', but it's true. Sometimes the truth is the hardest to believe... so I'm not complaining about them.

Alright, we should have gone to the assembly site, but I can't disagree more on teacher saying that we were panic because we didn't read the day before. HAHAHA... they had no idea how I (and probably a lot of other people) tried to fight back my tiredness to study. I've actually studied last week but it just didn't stick into my brain. And the teacher said she was angry because our faces told her that we were not feeling guilty at all. Hm...

Anyway, today's History's a complete failure. I simply invented and wrote down whatever occured in my mind.

Afternoon. We went to look for 'formal' dress. Honestly, it's not that I dont like pretty skirts, but I just don't feel like 'myself' wearing skirts. You know, I've always been a bit of a 'tom boy', haha... At last, we just bought some plain ones, since it's supposed to be 'formal'.

Tomorrow I'm going for an useless Add Maths competition. I really don't know what's the point, so although I'm feeling slightly guilty now, I haven' done any exercise at all...

Nervous

YES!!! I've got my piano result, it's 115!! Hm... I would be very disappointed under normal circumstances, but this time I'm really glad. Pass... I really thought I was going to fail. *Sigh*... only if I wasn't so nervous.

I can always remain relatively calm in examinations, even though I don't know how to answer the questions. However, I become so nervous that I can feel my legs and hands shaking when I'm giving a speech or ... playing piano, or I know somebody is watching me (even if he/she is my own friend or family member!!!). I could do so much better when I was at home, no body watching. WHY do I always get so nervous and screw up my performance when I actually can do better?

Thoughts

Hm... my piano exam was held last Tuesday. Seems like ages ago. I was so nervous. I wanted to do well. Frankly, I'm not the kind of person who can bear to be 'less good' then people around me. I don't know if this is good... but I always want to be good. That examiner, Tony Henwood, was young, and probably talented. He graduated from Oxford, my dream university! Haha, when I say 'dream', it really is a 'dream'. Normally, talented young pianists tend to be strict, so my hope to pass the exam is actually low. I did practise a lot in the last 2 weeks, but during the exam I was nervous. I had a feeling which was very unreal... I made more mistakes than I normally would do. If I manage to pass, it means I was very very lucky that day...

- - -

Name list of PLKN is announced! Luckily, I'm no chosen. Well, if I were chosen, then I would have the chance to shoot... with a real gun! That is really the only thing I'm interested with. However, I still prefer not to be chosen. Until now I don't want to fully believe that I'm not chosen... I keep trying to check in the website but it's still blocked...

- - -

We were doing the prefect's board interview. Yeah... that reminded me of a lot of things. I realised how much different I was from the 'I' last year. Last years I was very motivated to be a good leader and I had plenty of plans in my head although I was feeling miserable that time. At last I chose the life I preferred to have and my studies. Sometimes I still think I can be a good leader, with the condition that I sacrifice other things, for example, studies. I guess that's me, 工作狂(workaholic)... Some people just don't get what I mean, and make up a smart theory of her/his own and think she's/he's so understanding... (silly and pathetic)... Anyway, although looking at how other people doing stuff with styles that I disapprove, but yet can't do anything to change it, isn't a nice feeling, but at least, I made a choice and the choice gave me a priceless experience. I thought I felt regret, but I don't. I would still make the same decision that I've made if I were given a second chance. I've learnt a lot from others' mistakes. And, an experience of dropping from high urged me to really think about myself and life. People don't understand what's in my mind, but I do.

I know who I am.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

At last... AT LAST!!! From the first moment I opened up a Harry Potter book when I was about 11, I knew it was no ordinary book. It caught my attention like no other books have (yes, until today) ever done. 9 years of adventure (actually I've only joined for 6 years, haha). From a cute little boy until an off-age wizard... I feel good that it's ended, in a good way.

The book is a total success. It kept me feeling nervous, curious, excited, relieved... from the moment Harry appeared in the 2nd chapter until the very last word of the book. Mysteries after mysteries aroused, surprises after surprises found in almost all of the chapters. I'd have glued my eyes to the book if I hadn't had to eat lunch, supper and go for tuition. You couldn't ask more from a book.

Bless James, Albus, Lily, Rose, Hugo and Teddy. Afterall, all was well.

Bkt Tinggi Trip

http://picasaweb.google.com/taiyuxin/BktTinggi

It was indeed a nice trip. Actually there isn't much to say about. It was nice. Just nice.

We gathered at school early in the morning, 4a.m. I slept for 4 hours before that, but I was completely fresh. Haha, I never get tired during a trip. We joked most of our journey to Bukit Tinggi.

If you're looking for adventures, Bkt Tinggi isn't the place. It's somewhere to relax. It's peaceful. Small, and with little visitors, so much unlike Genting. The French Village was a little disappointing actually. I have to go to the real France to fulfil my desire I guess!

The Japanese Village wasn't something special, too, but it was so... green. It was a kind of woods, with pathways ready. I'd love to walk slowly... slowly breathing in the fresh air would had been so relaxing, only if we didn't rush. I'm sure it's a great place to go with my dad. He's a nature lover. I think I've got this bit from him. I don't enjoy having my hands full with disgusting mud, but I'd love to... take some time to see how beautiful is the nature, and to admire the freshness and peace. Really, I prefer this than shopping or screaming on a roller coaster...

My Career Inventory Test Results

Extroversion - 43%
Emotional Stability - 50%
Orderliness - 56%
Altruism - 43%
Inquisitiveness - 63%

You are a Planner, possible professions include - management consultant, economist, scientist, computer programmer, environmental planner, new business developer, curriculum designer, administrator, mathematician, psychologist, neurologist, biomedical researcher, strategic planner, civil engineer, intellectual properties attorney, designer, editor/art director, inventor, informational-graphics designer, financial planner, judge.

http://www.similarminds.com/

纪念册

已经快七月了。 身边的同学都已开始写纪念册。我呢？我迟迟不敢。我想过，但我没做。我不是不在乎友谊。而是，在友谊的世界里，我没有安全感。

中四之前，我没有认真地想过友谊。直到中四，不知是幸还是不幸，我被选为PKP2。我很认真地看待我的职责。我要求自己是一个负责任，有办事能力的好领袖。因为这样，我心里开始出现恐惧。我知道，我要做的，是我班上同学不喜欢的。我害怕被孤立，被讨厌。但同时，我不容许自己做一个不负责任的PKP2。一整年，我没有真正开怀过。我无时无刻不在担心同学们在讲我坏话。我试过“一只眼开，一只眼闭”，换来的，是强烈的自责。我讨厌自己不能在两方面之间找到一个平衡点。

最后，我选择逃避。我放弃了许多人梦寐以求的职位，只是希望自己不要再浪费一滴眼泪。

但问题圆满解决了吗？

不知是后遗症，还是天生的个性，我依然没有安全感。你信任的人，未必信任你。被你视为好朋友的人，也许并不怎么喜欢你。我害怕我付出的信任和关心得不到回报。我觉得自己像走在悬崖上，一不小心失足，也没人愿意拉我一把。

曾经有一位朋友面对友情的问题。当时我告诉她：随着你的心走，life is full of serious matters, don’t make friendship one of them.

可惜，我发现自己做不到。一直到今天，在一群朋友堆里，我依然不知道自己的位子到底在哪里。

纪念册？我害怕当我把纪念册交给其中一个同学时，她会想：“我根本就不喜欢你，你给我写做什么？”。我害怕有人会在我背后说：“都不懂怎样写她的... 没有什么好写的”。我害怕收到的纪念册，只是一些敷衍的谎言。


在友情里，世界充满不安。

在友情里，难道我只能渴望？

Scribble

've just been to my cousin Man's blog ( http://www.wretch.cc/blog/xmanman ). She talked a lot about her holiday in USA. My two cousins and my grandparents are currently at my uncle's house in Cupertino, California. It's about 1 hour from San Francisco. She went for horse riding!! How I hope I'd have the chance, too. Talking about USA, I can't help but think about my cousin Alexa. She's an American. I mean, she lives there and she talks like one of the 10-year-old American girls we see in movies. It's freaky sometimes. She's absolutely cute now. I think, maybe with a little bit of professional make-up, she could be a movie star, haha. But sometimes, when I see news about some Hollywood teenage stars getting drunk, partying and all those stuff, I'd think: Will Alexa become like Lindsay Lohan? Afterall, America isn't exactly a place for teens. Hahaha... of course it's stupid to think so. Alexa is only a normal cute 8-year-old.

I like her, and my uncle aunty. Definitely not because there're Americans... they just make me feel that I have a connection with something out of Malaysia. I never like the feeling of staying in one place, knowing about one place, feel and smell one place, but not the rest of the world. If I have loads and loads and loads of money, I won't spend them on expensive branded things. I'll use it to travel around the world and take a lot of photos home!

The Golden Gate

Honey

It's my lovely dog, Honey! Isn't she beautiful? Before I got Honey, I never really knew what were dogs. However, now, I agree that dogs are miracles with paws, :D

Not long before we were having problems with her teething. I searched and searched on the net and finally found one really useful site about dog training. Honestly, I really want a well-trained dog. My uncle's dog, Salty, who lives in USA, is soooooo well-trained that he'd sit in front of his bowl of food, waiting for his master's command to eat, then only he eats. Haha, my Honey isn't that great yet, but she's better now. Now she'd sit by the gate until we say 'go' then only she'll go. But she's not consistent though... we can hardly control her when she's got excited. I'm woking on it...

Another lesson in my life

I feel so sorry to my blog. I only think about it when I'm upset. 2006 was a miserable year. I threw everything in my blog but at the end I deleted them all. Now I'm here again. Thinking that I shouldn't leave my life forgotten. Afterall, you won't have a second 17 years old.

Yesterday wasn't exactly a good day. Hwee, Jia, Caryn and I were chatting in the class because Biology teacher wasn't around. Suddenly Hwee told me 'Actually I quite dislike you'. It was a real shock to me. I'd been treating Hwee as one of my trusted friends for the past few months, and yet she could say something like that to me. Instead of feeling angry, I was scared. Later she said she disliked me when we were in primary, but when I asked 'what about now?', she wasn't so keen to answer. She said she had no feeling towards me anymore and she didn't care about me. Is this exactly the thing a friend would tell you? If it is, I must be really dumb to not realise it. After that, we embarked on a heated debate about my weaknesses. According to Jia and Caryn, they enjoyed chatting with me when there're a whole gang of friends, but they didn't enjoy talking to me alone so much. They felt that there's always a distance between us. Why? They couldn't explain, neither could I... could you?

I hid in the toilet just to calm myself down later. I went to the PBSM meeting late. I felt like telling Charayne, but it wasn't the time. However, after a few hours, I realised that it was nothing big deal. At least they'd been frank to me, hadn't they? Afterall, it wasn't the first time... someone I believed to be my good friend, turned out not to be one. Last year the same thing happened, and I wasted my 16th birthday crying. Can you imagine? My family was singing the birthday song and I was trying to fight back my tears. However, looking at it positively... it was rather an unusual experience... The point is, I found myself stronger than I was last year. I still felt upset, but I know that my value doesn't depend on how people think about me. It's about me. Besides, I seldom care for people who don't care about me... I've decided to let the thing develops naturally.