Just when I thought that I am broke, and lost in this world. I see a resonating light in the form of my father. HaHaHa

So drama la. I am freaking happy because my father gave me $100. Trust me I am equaly as shocked. It seems that my father got lucky by winning the lottery, and he gave me some money to spend. Weeeeeeeeee !!!! I am 100 dollars rich!!!!! But I should not finish off everything. I should plan my budget. And I stand by what I said in my previous post. I do not want to go anywhere, where I might spend money. Better still I do not want to meet anyone till I get filthy rich. Ok fine!!! that is NEVER going to happen any time soon. But atleast till I am in a stable position.

Today is yet another day, with the blessings of the Almighty

Wow, its been a week since my last post. I don't know why, but I feel less and less day by day to reflect on whatever I am doing by updating my blog.

Basically current affairs in my life would be I am damn damn broke right now. All the spending and movies have brought me down to the state that I am in. Nevertheless I am to blame myself and not anyone else for the lack of will-power.

I have decided not to go out or meet anyone for the time being, till my financial crisis comes to a stop. I need the immediate measure to prevent me from being declared bankrupt.Ha Ha Ha Ha.

Besides I would appreciate if my friends would try their best to refrain from calling me out. Because most of the time I find it hard to turn down my friends requests. Call it weak will-power or me being 'toooooo' nice. Ha Ha Ha Ha

I think I am quite done with the current affairs part, but ya forgot to tell you guys, I am FINED for littering in Tekka. $200 will be heading towards the Government fund next month. I am so freaking sad, but I will take it with grace, its just another lesson learnt. Besides Tekka is already so dirty what more can a few of my cigarette butts do? Never mind let the matter rest

Blessed Be

Saturday was as usual, boring and mundane except for the fact that I was in Medical Centre. Nothing much that we did. Hafeez and I were watching Saw 2. The movie was not so bad, but rather it was interesting. Just to think about it, a cancer patient doing all these gruesome things to teach people of their lives. Teaching them how to appreciate their life in the most sickest way anyone can come up with. Nice show I should add.

Besides that tommorrow Haruna, Praveena and I are planning to watch Mirror. Let see how the movie goes and stuff. My world evolves around too much of work but lesser time to enjoy. Ha Ha

Everything happens for the Good right???

Yesterday was clubbing night. Gayathiri, Gaya's husband, Jenifer, Kumar, Sultan and myself. It was a hell of a night. Initially Kumar did not talk to me much because I know he hates me. But after some time when he started laying back in the group, he was quite ok and stuff. We were talking quite a bit and had our fair share of drinks. All of those who went got drunk except Gaya and myself. Come to think about it, I feel sooooo proud of myself. I can smell those past times where not any alcohol limit can get me drunk. It takes above*2 average human alcohol tolerance level.

Besides nothing much, came back home around 6 am I guess, took my unusual heavy breakfast before heading to bed. HaHaHa.

This day will also be a good day

I am super duper bored with life nowadays. But what else can we do in this mundane world? I feel that this world is filled with materialistic people who desire to have another body for security or money to replace the loss of their so-called security.

Indeed money makes this world go round.

Why are we so caught up in making money, but not friendship?
Why do we buy bungalows and condominium but not worry about those who live their lives on the street?

Sometimes while we are seated in food courts, there will always be some old man or aunty selling 3 packets of tissues for $1. Some people will ignore them when they approach their table however some tell them off. Why do we humans behave such? If we can spend $100s and $1000s on food and clothings, why can't we spend just $1 to help them. Yes I agree some might have tissues with them, but what harm can carrying another 3 packets of tissues do? For God's sake, its just $1.

Definitely I know there are handful of good souls who do charity work and stuff. I didn't say everyone's a rotten apple. Sometimes its dolorous to say that we live among them.

God bless this souls. Blessed Be

Yay!!! Finally, I got to watch Kadhalan. The movie which I desperately wanted to watch all this while. I feel so at ease now.

And I bought Bhagavad Gita. The Hindu Epic. I am getting things which I want and stuff. Though I feel so cynical about it, but lets just put it to the faith. Whatever that is happening, is happening for the good.

Life is pretty good at this point, I defiantly would not want it to end. But nevertheless, Life itself has its ups and downs. Probably I am going through the ups part, and therefore I have to wait for the downs part. Ha Ha.



Am searching for the me, in me.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I guess I am dying soon already. Having very bad giddiness and yep. I can't stay out of my house for too long. OMG!!! Save me from this nothing I've become.


Even If i knew my place should i leave it there?
Should i give up

I know I was at fault for doing all this. Its my fault.
But the least I expected from you was to even consider another guy. I don't know if it is me or what but I guess I am just thinking too much, or at least I hope.

Its my fault for making you feel that I "only talk to you, msg you when I see the need". I agree that I haven't been calling you.

But if you think that you want to move on, or whatever I would not mind. After all I am such a difficult person to put up with.

I defiantly would not want to be the one to confuse you or keep you from considering Guna. That will be the last thing I would do. When you can even consider someone else, I see a lack of love we used to share. Its OK :)

I hope you would consider Guna since he promised you a "Happily Ever After"
Hope things would work out well between with you both. Or at least give it a try.

Let's not explain, I shall be the loser, I shall hold all blames. This is nothing new to me. Its something I always go through and never seem to learn from my mistakes. I promise you that today will be the last conversation we will have, and I would not interfere in your life.


So many times have I been so afraid.
And just when I, I thought I lost my way,
You gave me strength to carry on

Whatever that happened, happened very well
Whatever that is happening, is happening very well
Whatever that is going to happen, will also happen very well

Why are you crying?
What did you lose, that belongs to you?
What did you bring into this world, for you to lose it?
What did you create for you to destroy it?

Whatever you took, has been taken from here.
Whatever you gave, has been given from here.

What is yours today belongs to another tomorrow.
And to another the next day.

That will be the nature of the world.

To all my friends out there:

I would really appreciate if you guys could go to the link below and do the survey. I am searching for the truth in my life and therefore I request you you guys to help me do the survey. Once again I am thankful for your help to understanding myself.

Thank you.

The URL is: http://kevan.org/johari?name=scarfelt

What has happened, has happened for the good.
What is happening, is happening for the good
What will happen, will also happen for the good.

What you brought into this world for you to lose it.
What do you have permanently for you to bring it along.

I don't know what to blog about, but I shall just rant my heart's out.
I am already planning about my future and stuff. I just need to ask a few more people comments and I think I will be clear as crystal. Ha Ha Ha

I am happy with the way things are between us. I don't really want to jump into a relationship yet at the same time I am in LOVE with you. Tell me what I should do?

I am kind of missing my past. Those days were so carefree, and I need not worry about anything. All I had to do was to go work and wait for enlistment date.

I still remember when I first got the enlistment letter, I was using the computer. My dad called out for me saying that I had some letter from the Government. Once I saw the front page of the letter I was like "What the FcuK". After reading, I explained to my dad the importance of the letter and I took the letter and told me dad that I was going down for a drink and I started calling my friends.

They congratulated me while some were mocking at my luck for being a boy. I was really lost, not because I had to do my NS but because the letter was too sudden. I started thinking if I should see a doctor in the polyclinic to permanently defer me from Army. I even had the craziest idea. I thought of claiming to be a gay.Than I took a smoke and told myself that NS would be fun, and that I would learn a lot of new things. Only after some self-consoling did I go back home. Only at that point of time did I regret being a boy.

But look now, even before I close and open my eyes I am coming to the end of my service. It is and it will be a pleasant experience that I will keep till even after my service. Definitely I would miss my NS life after my ORD but NS is only a passing cloud, where I learnt and grow with different environments and people. The situations and the people and made me who I am now, and hopefully how I will be even after my service. Lets say that this experience had mould me into a different person, and taught me valuable lessons that I doubt those guys who have not or those girls who will never be doing NS know.

I take great pride in saying that I am completing my NS with honour and dignity. And I take great pleasure in saying that I have served my nation well( i hope) and I did what I owed her. I am glad that I have not been like those typical, who take MC and sit at home doing nothing, but taking the allowance given by SAF. It is a money that is earned is easy money. Easy money never lasts long nor will it keep you going far. Its a disgrace to those guys who call themselves 'man' when they cannot even return back what they 'owe' to the nation. They are cowards who fear pain, separation and suffering therefore they waste Governments' tax money by taking MC.
Sad to see cowards living among us huh ? Ha Ha Ha. Who ever that is reading this article, if you have yet to complete your NS, let this me my advice. But those guys who are feeling guilty after reading the paragraph above, grow up at least a bit, or at least try.

Thats all folks.

*Blessed Be*