I Have a Friend

I have an old friend.

This salsa sums him up on multiple levels.

Interpret as you will.

a house

We are hoping to conclude our "tour of homes" in St. Paul, MN. Starting in 2007, we have have lived in 3 different states, 4 different houses (2 owned, 2 rented)...Moving lost its fun long ago. We hope that house #5 is one we get to inhabit for awhile. The appraisal is the last hurdle (which is a bigger deal now than just a few years ago) and if all goes well, we will close at the end of May.

Some stats:
-1.5 story, 4 bedroom, 2 bath
-finished basement
-2 car garage (which is HUGE for the city)
-big yard (again, the area we are moving has tiny lots)
-been in the same family for 75+ years. It has been very well maintained...it is very dated, but very well loved and cared for...

Here are some pix:

this yard is HUGE, relative to the neighborhood

3 season porch

awesome woodwork. not awesome wallpaper, on EVERY wall, but one room.

hallway back to bedrooms/bathroom on main level, fun built-in drawers/closet thingie

bedroom #1

bedroom #2...fun big baseboard (hard wood floors under carpet)

small, dated kitchen #1

small, dated kitchen #2

half story upper. carpet anyone?

the end.

Puke is Gross

We are sharing a room with Irene at the moment. We were awakened on Saturday morning at 4am by the sound of vomit spewing. she went on to throw up a few more times throughout the day. Here are some random thoughts about this experience:

-It is an unmistakable sound. There are no other options for what it might be.

-running around with eyes that won't open, trying to find a bucket or trash can or something to catch the copious amounts of vomit is not easy.

-vomit stains things. like carpet. and this brought back some ancient childhood memories of stained carpets. both in the bedroom and the hallway. I can't decide if the memory of vomit cascading down from the top bunk and splattering as it hit the floor is real or not. But I am almost certain that a younger sibling spewing forth in the hallway on their way to the bathroom is quite real.

-catching puke in a towel is gross.

Here are some other random thoughts, (i.e. emotional puke), that have nothing to do with actual puke:

-the potholes in minnesota are unreal. one day, I will be driving down the road, hit one, and my car will literally fall apart around me...the probability of this happening is between 65-85%.

-LOVE WINS...and Christians are dumb. very very dumb. the "to do" surrounding the release of this book is the latest example. I just finished reading it. the insanity of the evangelical world was confirmed.

-if anyone is interested in reading a fascinating book on "why" certain Evangelicals were so crazy, I recommend Peter Rollins, "The Fidelity of Betrayal"...he gives words to the WAY in which people like Rob Bell "believe things"...which will in turn stand in contrast to another way of believing things. read the book.

I hope all is well with everyone. BLOGGY has been in a deep slumber. I assume I can speak for everyone when I say that little kids are getting in the way and creative juices just aren't what they used to be. no worries, there is a season for everything...

Friends of bloggy,

I have recently had the distinction of writing a personal letter of reference for one Jon Iwaszkowiec. It is to serve as a means of recommending him for a student teaching assignment. I feel as if I know Jon fairly well, but I would like input from all as to how to best describe his most important attributes. Here is said letter, please advise as to changes and additions that should be made before it is submitted.

To whom it may concern,

I am writing this letter as a personal recommendation for Jon Iwaszkowiec. It is my understanding that he will begin a student teaching assignment in the near future and I believe he is both able and prepared for such an endeavor. Please allow me the benefit of expounding upon some of Jon's most favorable qualifications.

The most beneficial quality to any person in such a position is experience, and Jon has an abundance of such in areas that can only enhance his ability to educate the young. His years as a lifeguard are a clear indication that no student in his class will run, hang on the lane dividers or drown. He may even carry a whistle upon request. He may even make them sit on the floor next to his chair for five minutes as a means of reprimand. This sort of control over unruly students is invaluable. Also, his years of running a successful retail bookstore means that he knows about books, and from what I remember about high school, there were books involved. And he knows about them. So that's good. And I think he even reads them, which is also good.

Beyond relevant work experience is the world experience that many other educators are lacking desperately. He is well travelled, with time spent in the Middle East, Europe, Central America, Iceland and even Texas. His time in the Middle East was spent as an integral part of a multi-disciplinary water rescue operation in some of the most dangerous waters in the world. The marine life, specifically the sharks, are so advanced and intelligent that they have begun fashioning their own land forms shaped like palm trees. Protecting the worlds richest oil sheiks from such predators is surely among the most grueling and sacrificial tasks. In addition, his travels through Europe were spent educating himself on the worlds most revered art and architecture. He would log hours in churches and museums, absorbing all the the ancient world culture has to offer. Unlike most college grads spending mommy and daddy's money in pubs and beer halls, he was refining his background in history and culture. The same can be said of his forays into Central America and Iceland. Where most people in such situations would waste an opportunity surfing and drinking beer in Costa Rica or watching soccer and drinking beer in Iceland, he was amidst the rich heritage of the Icelandic people and studying the flora and fauna of the Central American jungles. None of us are really sure what he did in Texas, but I think it was something like the Schlitterbahn, which sounds foreign and important.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that Jon is a foreign born American citizen with dual citizenship in Brazil. This makes him a minority, a Brazilian, or maybe a Russian, not sure which, but certainly entitled to all of the benefits of affirmative action. In fact, if you do not furnish him with the very best opportunities that are available in internships, you would be in direct violation of something, and discriminating against Russo-Brazilian Americans everywhere.

As a person who spends time in religious settings with Jon, I can speak directly to his spiritual maturity and ability to properly ground all of his decisions and actions in moral and spiritual truth. While we worried for a time about his deep involvement with radical Islamic groups during his stay in the United Arab Emirates, he seems to have tempered his radicalism to rantings about sports and bad church music. He almost always attends church, well mostly, Ok sometimes, as long as there is not a soccer game on or a bodybuilding competition on a Sunday. He also regularly attends a weekly bible study, especially if it is held in a bar or at Busch Stadium. He NEVER misses those. I should also mention his passion for physical fitness, which means he could kick any high schooler's ass, or at least outrun them.

I think it goes without saying that Jon is highly qualified, experienced and educated for a premiere role in educating the next generations. The institution that benefits from his expertise will be forever changed, and the students he encounters will always remember him, for one reason or another.

With Regards,

Greg Vest

There Once Existed and Alliance between Elves and Men

Luke 10:18 He replied, "I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven."

I am pretty sure that Jesus mentioned a certain toy that was thrown just after that, but if fell more like a snowflake and not like lightning therefore Luke did not bother mentioning it.

But somehow, like Jumanji or the One Ring, it has found its way to my home. Unearthed in Vietnam it was then packaged and sent to America where it was found by my mother, bought for my son, and now serves to torment me day and night. Look at the picture below, if you dare, and feast your eyes on such an unspeakable evil.


It may look innocent enough but all you have to do is look at the front wheels (ok, maybe touch them) and the terror is set loose upon your ears. Unless you enjoy the sound of a diesel truck starting followed by two very long car honks (in which case you may need psychological help) it is an awful terrible toy.

The only hope i have is to take it back to the grandparents house and trick my son to throw it into the pool thereby destroying the circuitry which cause such awful sounds. The journey is long and arduous. I will be forming a fellowship to undertake such a dangerous task. If you would like to volunteer please leave a comment.

Working for the weekend

Dear Nature,

I know we have not been spending a lot of time together. I have this house now, and a child, and I have to work. You have been very sticky and humid lately and the wrong kind of "hot". With all that on the table I just wanted to let you know that yesterday's actions were uncalled for. Just because you have missed my presence doesn't mean you should start drinking early and go on a drunken rampage through my backyard.


If you want my attention that is not the way to get it. I like you nature, I really do, but lately your actions have been over the line. I think we may need to find you some help. It started with the moles and has moved onto the mosquitos. I was ok with that, but clearly those were just gateway drugs and now you have moved on to destructive wind. This needs to stop. No one likes you when you act like that. Poor Tree is going to need surgery and will never be the same.


I know that it has been rough but with the fall coming I believe we will see more of each other soon. We can make it through this Nature!

I Promise.

With lots of love,

Jeff

some stuff

Long time no Bloggy...I will now spew forth:

I flew on some planes this past fall. The airlines charge for checked baggage, so carry-ons just get bigger and bigger and bigger. it was frustrating when there was no space for my little computer bag in the overhead bin. Unrelated, one time the woman next to me got out a small mirror and some tweezers so that she could pluck random facial hairs. she was meeting her boyfriend. but still. and lastly, old people should have their own airlines (and highways). will I be slow and oblivious when I'm old? are they really oblivious or do they just not care? I guess either one is justifiable.

Having 2 kids is fun and funny. The lack of sleep is neither. But the kids are hilarious. unintentionally at this age...Irene just emits hilarity in everything she does. I wonder if God thinks we are funny, like I think my kids are funny. and the fact that I just said "my kids" makes me feel woozy like my brain is going to explode.

The spirit of the Olympic games is cool and great...the epic, made for tv, feel good about our country spectactle is crap. The stupidest part is the "medal count"...who cares?! Let's manufacture another way we can boost our narcistic attitudes in some sort of fake reality that doesn't really matter. just saying. show the events. maybe some nations that we never get to see...maybe do a "puff piece" on any african nation that doesn't have money or snow, yet somehow sends 1 or 4 athletes to compete in the WINTER games...I would watch that. and be interested in that story.

I am "all dough" (Irene speak for "all done") with winter. I saw that the temps are 20 degrees below average here (a lot of places in the south). I would like average to come back...average is good. average is average. maybe we should be content with average in more aspects of our lives

hope everyone is well...