Giving thanks to local businesses

Radio Commentary

A new year is the traditional time for making resolutions. 

Family Circle Magazine once printed resolutions for parents, and I’m going to repeat them because they help focus our efforts as a  new year is about to begin:

            I will always love my children for who they are — not who I want them to be. 

            I will give my child space to grow, to dream, to succeed, and even to fail. Without that space, no growth can occur.

            I will create a loving home environment, regardless of what effort it takes at a given time.

            When discipline is necessary, I will let my child know that I disapprove of what he does, not who he is. 

            I will set limits and help my children find security in the knowledge of what is expected of them. They will not have to guess what is right or wrong.

            I will make time for all my children and cherish our moments together. I will not burden my children with emotions and problems they are not equipped to deal with.

            I will encourage my children to experience the world and all its possibilities, taking pains to leave them careful but not fearful.

I will try to be the kind of person I want my children to be:  loving, fair-minded, giving, and hopeful.

            Good resolutions for all of us, don’t you think?

A new year

Radio Commentary

A new year is the traditional time for making resolutions. 

Family Circle Magazine once printed resolutions for parents, and I’m going to repeat them because they help focus our efforts as a  new year is about to begin:

            I will always love my children for who they are — not who I want them to be. 

            I will give my child space to grow, to dream, to succeed, and even to fail. Without that space, no growth can occur.

            I will create a loving home environment, regardless of what effort it takes at a given time.

            When discipline is necessary, I will let my child know that I disapprove of what he does, not who he is. 

            I will set limits and help my children find security in the knowledge of what is expected of them. They will not have to guess what is right or wrong.

            I will make time for all my children and cherish our moments together. I will not burden my children with emotions and problems they are not equipped to deal with.

            I will encourage my children to experience the world and all its possibilities, taking pains to leave them careful but not fearful.

I will try to be the kind of person I want my children to be:  loving, fair-minded, giving, and hopeful.

            Good resolutions for all of us, don’t you think?

Raising children again?

Radio Commentary

A poem by Diane Loomans speaks for many of us this time of year.  It’s called, “If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again.”

She writes:

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I’d finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I’d take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less and know to care more.

I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.

I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I’d do more hugging and less tugging.

I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often.

I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.

I’d model less about the love of power,

And more about the power of love.

For young parents, these are interesting words to hear from a veteran in the field. 

But all parents should take comfort in knowing that if they do their best they can at the time, that is truly all that anyone can ask.

Fighting prejudice

Radio Commentary

In this season of goodwill, make sure your children understand that prejudice and discrimination are unfair. Here are some suggestions from the Anti-Defamation League and the National PTA.

            First, accept each of your children as unique and special. Let your children know that you recognize and appreciate their individual qualities.

Children who feel good about themselves are less likely to be prejudiced.

Also, notice unique and special qualities in other people and discuss them with your children. Help your children become sensitive to other people’s feelings.

Studies show that caring, empathetic children are less likely to be prejudiced.

            Share stories and books with your children that help them understand the points of view of other people. When conflicts do occur, encourage your children to think about how the other person might be feeling.

Make it a firm rule in your family that no person should be excluded or teased on the basis of race, religion, ethnicity, accent, gender, disability, sexual orientation, or appearance. Point out and discuss discrimination when you see it.

Teach your children respect and an appreciation for differences by providing opportunities for interaction with people of diverse groups.

Studies show that children playing and working together toward common goals develop positive attitudes about one another. It all makes a difference.

Happy Holidays!

Radio Commentary

In this most joyous of holiday seasons, we wish the entire community a world of peace, happiness and goodwill, all year through.  

In the spirit of the season, we hope that everyone will keep in mind the least among us, and reach out a helping hand of support and hope to the children and families that form our larger Santa Barbara neighborhood.

There are so many sayings that cover this spirit: ‘It takes a village to raise a child.’ And most appropriately for this weekend, ‘I am my brother’s keeper.’

There is a Mexican-American proverb I really like. It states: “Everyone in the world smiles in the same language.” 

We have also heard much of the Reverend Martin Luther King’s famous statement:  “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

Much is changing locally and in our nation and world. We see that all around us, in ways both large and small.

As we witness and live through these changes together, we send our thanks to all in our community, along with all good wishes for a holiday season and new year brimming with hopes fulfilled. 

An ethic of caring

Radio Commentary

An ethic of caring is worth fostering among our children if we want to live in a society that is compassionate and kind.

Research confirms what commonsense tells us: the more a young person values compassion, kindness, and helping people, the more likely he or she is to actually help out when the need arises.  

That’s why it is important to promote values of caring in our communities, our schools, our families, and our congregations.

This is especially the case in modern times, when the media messages that bombard our young people are filled with conflicting values – violence, celebrity worship, materialism, and very little of the old-fashioned “sweet” stories young people used to hear and see at every turn.

It’s unlikely a young person will develop caring values unless he or she is constantly exposed to adults who model and reward them. 

This would include parents and teachers, plus a broad array of other adults and role models as well.

What’s more, it is critical that these values be reinforced in young people’s everyday lives, in order to override the competing messages that surround them through music, videos, and games.

Though we live in times when the country appears polarized and fragmented, the goal of fostering an ethic of caring is not impossible to achieve. 

It will take a concerted effort among those who value that outcome. It’s clear we ALL have our work cut out for us if we want to succeed. I, for one, feel deeply that it is worth the effort.