you

5:25 AM

torn&
falling apart
falling down
falling into
abyss

too dark
too deep
too lost

sorry that
i'm such a
failure

sorry to
let you
down

i tried
but trying won't ever be enough

i hate myself

怎麼辦

3:09 PM

昨晚我們聊到了我的過去
是呀
他曾經對我很好
雖然那個好
部分是我強求來的
就算處理方式不恰當
就算結束很殘忍
但是他確實付出過

--
現在的我可以微笑的承認
我曾經很幸福
也準備好接受未來可能的幸福
--

我遇到了壞人
所以自己也變成了壞人
這樣是不對的

我不希望我的過去
影響到我現在以及未來的幸福
改變與成長的過程很慢很難
希望我們可以互相扶持
互相鼓勵體諒
朝相同的目標前進

有你真的很好
也很慶幸可以好好溝通想法
無所不談
這就是我想要的幸福 (:

沒那麼簡單
但是並非不可能!

(emo)tions

8:41 PM

perhaps i am really difficult to love
when my temper gets the better of me
i couldnt think straight
and words that come out of my lips
are not what i meant to say

you love me
the way i am
but not really
i should've known
this is how love works
all along

i feel so lost
my love for you is sincere and true
but it doesnt seem like it to you

i am trying
but somehow i can't get it right
you are upset
and i am hurt

here i am
and there you are

(summertime)sadness

11:31 PM

sometimes we are afraid
sometimes we are in doubt
sometimes we are upset

life presents to us a multitude of challenges
to which we must face
to which we must brave

because such is life
because to fear is not in the options
because here i am
and there you are

i hope
i pray
and god knows how hard i try

for me to love myself as i am
for me to care for myself as i care for others
but when it comes down to myself
it is so hard for me to love me

i dont want to let those dark times define me
they shouldnt
they ought not to
but they did
how dare you
but you did

but now i thank you
as i've told myself to from the end and the start
thank you for setting me free
thank you all who stood by me during my darkest times
and thank you all who pushed me down to the abyss

for i am capable of so much more
for i deserve so much better
for i am
so much happier now

when i see the truth
and when i know
what i am living for

all is fine
and i am at peace with myself

we were born to die.

Dear David,

9:07 PM

after much deliberations, i have finally decided on the three things that i think describe you best:

you are the sun - your warmth is calming and overwhelming. you are an energy incarnate; you influence others with your positivity. the sun is literally a burning star: and sometimes i feel like you are on fire (in a good way!) (; because that's how we all ought to live our lives..

you are the moon - this is quite the opposite of the sun, but you are full of contradictions! the moon often exudes a sense of moodiness and connotes change. and you, too, have a mind exploding with different thoughts and ideas. you are unpredictable and hard to read.. sometimes it makes me helpless and lost; you are visibly sad and lonely, and yet i cannot figure out why and i know there is more than one reason to it.

last but not least, you are a star - not just because you have it in your name (; but also because i find the star.. subtle. you have the warmth of a sun, but the glow of a star. it is not intrusive, but very therapeutic. you are charismatic and loved by everyone, but your shine somehow fades into the darkness, like you are afraid to shine (did i get it very wrong..?)

it is funny how i chose everything in the sky - it is almost as though you are so close and yet so far. but it is also telling from the fact that i chose elements of the universe, that you are indeed my universe: because having you renders me all the neccessities in life, and i feel at home.. i really do (:

thank you david, for letting me know that everyone deserves to live a life bursting with love and hope. i have always belived in treating others the same way as they treat you. perhaps not the best motto to have - i know what they say about being even nicer to your foes, but i aint no saint and i cant at this moment. the best i could do is to ignore them. anyway.. my point is.. i try my best to not hurt the ones that i love. sometimes i fail, but i am trying and learning from my mistakes. and i know that people who truly love me will not hurt me. those that do are apparently not my loved ones and are not worth my love. for those who treat me well, i will love them, support them, protect them, respect them, and dote on them. i am not perfect, but i want to be perfect for them (:

and i want to be perfect for you;

親一下

7:48 PM

雖然住的地方很不優
但是實習內容還蠻有趣的
算是最大的安慰吧

--

真希望可以跟你住
然後每天通勤 :p

--

還希望可以快點見到你
最希望可以快點在一起

不過我並不希望時間快轉..
因為每天可以收到你的訊息
每天可以跟你講電話
都是很幸福的事情
所以我很享受這個bittersweet的過程
只要有你任何事情我都不想錯過
就照著你的步調走吧 (:

我愛你david

journey

6:06 AM

我知道
有些事情不能做比較

but that feeling of inadequacy kept coming back
it's a little too overwhelming for me to handle right now..

i miss you

need(you)now

8:51 PM

&i said i wouldn't call...
then so be it..

i don't want to make the same mistake..
not going to allow my weakness to cause you pain..
i cherish you.. i cherish us.. too much.. to allow that to happen

please don't go..
please stay..
my heart hurts so bad but i don't know why..
the tears kept falling from my eyes..

all i know is..
my heart is yearning for you..
but something's not right..
the tears kept falling
but i don't know why..

please make it right;

--

you have my heart, body, and soul
my tears
my smile
i'll smile more to make up for the tears tonight..
just tonight

傷心

8:40 PM

你是不是
對每個人
都這麼溫柔
這麼好

唉
心好痛
誰來把眼淚帶走

好想你..