I watched a TV programme about Diana Athill on the eve of my 38th birthday, and found myself inspired and thoughtful.
This wonderful old woman with a career as an editor, and views as a human being, really stuck and I had her buzzing around my head right up until I went to sleep.
I love how she dedicated her time to editing and nurturing for most of her career and then only late in life found her own voice and wove beautiful patterns with it.
To put it crudely, it's like she's foreshadowed all this blogging. She chose to write about her life when it wasn't the done thing, making a point of not editing herself in order to be truthful and frank. She put it out there for people to judge or accept and then walked away, knowing her part was done.
A comment that Jean Rhys said also chimed with me, and was echoed by Diana herself:
"When you write about a thing you forget it...or least it doesn't worry you anymore"
That's how I feel about my blog and when I come here, I do so for many reasons.
To show a little to my friends to explain what I don't communicate effectively in real life. To help anyone who might stumble upon my words, who has the same challenges as a parent of a not-so ordinary child. To simply write and write. And to force myself to look at the things inside me - sometimes to find a positive spin, sometimes just to write and purge and move on.
Following the TV show I ordered books and books that were referred to, some by Diana, some by authors that she edited. I'm excited about returning to books and the passion that I had right through my education and beyond for them, which in recent years and through my career has been overshadowed by the scripts and treatments that litter my desk.
So the next few months are going to be rich with words and ideas and stories from another place, and I know I'll dip back into Diana's head as long as she continues to throw the words out there.
You might want to take a look too http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/diana-athill
