My Grandma

My Sweet Grandma, I love you and will miss you.



James and Grandma about April 2004


Our little family with my grandparents in Idaho, april 2004







Grandma and Grandpa Lee, May 2005


My grandma Lee passed away this week, on April 25th in Idaho. I will be going to the funeral this weekend in Idaho.
She was such a wonderful lady. It's hard to know where to begin.
She had the brightest, keenest mind up until her death. She always showed interest in other people and was a very good conversationalist. Somehow she made each of her grandchildren feel special, including me. When I would visit, she would always ask me questions about my life and we had many good conversations. She cared very sincerely but was also laid back and mellow, so it was easy to open up with her.
Sometimes she would share stories about her life and her experiences. I cherished those.
Her and Grandpa were the sweetest couple. They were an example to all their posterity of a good marriage. Of course it may not have been perfect, but they seemed to compliment each other so well and built a wonderful life and posterity together. I am amazed when I think of what their children--my uncles and aunts--and their grandchildren--my siblings and cousins--have accomplished so far in life. We have too many degrees between us to count, and when the youngest cousin Jason graduates every member of the family will have a college degree, many having or pursuing advanced degrees. No on has divorced. No one is off doing dumb things. We are all vigorously pursuing life as parents, students, workers, travellers, and do-gooders. I think that speaks a lot for my grandparents.
Grandma was a talented artist. I love her paintings. She took up oil painting later in life, and became very good. She was modest about it, but we all love her paintings and I cherish the one I have. It is a still life of lilacs. We had lilacs in our backyard growing up and I always loved them so much. I would often pick a bunch on mother's day. They remind me of springtime and my mother. Then I found out grandma loved lilacs so much and I knew why they reminded me of my mother. Now I hope my children and grandchildren willthink of me when they smell lilacs, just like I think of my mother and my grandmother every time I take in their wonderful scent.
Grandma had a lot of health problems, but she never complained about aches and pains. I realize now how strong she was. I took care of her after she broke her hip for a few days last Februrary. It seemed like she might not have made it, but she pulled through and regained her strength to walk with a walker again despite her frail body. It was very special to be with her at that time.
She had celiac disease, so she couldn't eat any wheat. That must have been so hard, and that was one thing she would say was hard. I remember one time she said she thinks there will be eating in the next life and she hopes she can enjoy a lot of the food she can't now. I hope she's enjoying a big cinnamon roll, or a slice of fresh bread, or a piece of zucchini cake. She still made zucchini bread even though she couldn't eat it. I always remember her having some in summer when I visited, along with other fresh garden food. It was often simple food, but it tasted so delicious because it was fresh--and covered in butter!
Grandma loved to read and nurtured that love up until her old age. She has many books in her household, especially historical and political books. She was so keen and understanding of the modern world, learning about computers to do her family history and keeping up with current events.
My Grandma Lee has been a role model for me in my life. She was a sweet and loving grandmother and I will miss her, but I am grateful we knew her as long as we did, and I am grateful she had her time on the earth to teach us all how to be a gentle yet strong faithful woman.


From the previous edition of the LDS Hymnal

Sister, Thou Wast Mild and Lovely
Gentle as the summer breeze,
Pleasant as the air of ev'ning
As it floats among the trees.

Peaceful be thy silent slumber,
Peaceful in the grave so low;
Thou no more wilt join our number,
Thou no more our songs shall know.

Dearest sister, thou hast left us,
Here thy loss we deeply feel,
But 't is God that hath bereft us,
He can all our sorrows heal.

Yet again we hope to meet thee,
When the day of life is fled;
Then in heav'n with joy to greet thee,
Where no farewell tears are shed.

Jason comes home tomorrow after another week on the road! I'm so excited!
The boys have been very good this week. We've had some fun times together with just us. Yesterday we went to downtown Naperville. The weather was quite chilly, but I decided to try to ignore it. We walked along the riverwalk, one of Naperville's claims to fame. It is very nice indeed, but then I think about my walks in Provo where I'd head out my door and be in the mountains in just a few minutes. THAT was great! Anyway, we don't have mountains here, but we did find a hill to run up and down. It was right next to the carillon bell tower and we even heard the bells chime, so it did almost seem like Provo for a few moments. I realized I need to have more of these times with my boys. They are growing up so fast. They will be starting preschool in fall! Running up and down the hill with them I tried to just relish in their exuberance for life. We got to the top and I said "Wow! We can see the whole world from here!" They looked around with wide eyes and that smile of amazement they get when they believe they are experiencing something grand--like they really are seeing the whole world. Every time we would climb it after that they would say, "We can see the whole world from here". It felt great to be alive!
A few more cute things the boys have said/done this week:
I was cleaning my ears with a Q-tip like I always do after a shower, and James asked "Are you getting the macaroni and cheese our of your ears?"
This past weekend we went to the YMCA to go swimming. I came back from getting dressed into my black with pink polka dots bathing suit and James said "do you look beautiful mommy?" I thought it was pretty fun that he would say that. Nathan told me I looked beautiful on Sunday. What a boost to my confidence!
James has been having some funny mispronunciations. He says breakfast "bis-kis". Every morning I wake up to him coming into my room, "I want some bis-kis". We've been going to the Chiropractor lately (thought we'd just try it out) and they pronounce it the "car factory".
There's so much more they do that make me laugh and smile, but I would need to be constantly recording it every minute. Of course if I were recording every minute of my life (which I suppose in a way I am) there would also be the frustrating and impatient moments and the tantrums and such. But overall lately I've really been enjoying my boys and liking life.
Speaking of recording my life, I remembered a song I learned from Academy For Girls back in 1992. My mom reminded me of that time the other week so I thought about this song again. This is my thought for the day:
I'm the one who writes my own story
I'll decide the person I'll be
What goes in the plot
And what will not
Is pretty much up to me.
And just in case
I need to erase
It was figured out before,
A thing called repentance
Can wipe out a sentence,
A page or a chapter or more.

There's more to the son but that's all I can remember, and it's been in my head the past few days. I think it's a good message to remember.

I don't use...

After putting the boys down I came to my computer to relax a little and check my email. I'm looking for a jogging stroller, so I went to Craig's list for that. Then I went to Yahoo and saw the terrible news of a gunman shooting 32 people at Virginia Tech. Hearing news like that makes me want to reach out to my loved ones and hear their voices, but no one is answering their cell phones! (Mom, Jason, Marie are the three I called right now).
I try not to be one to dwell on how terrible the world is, because I don't think it is, but it's news like this that makes me feel a little vulnerable, makes me want to shield my children from everything, makes me wish we lived a long time ago. It also makes me wish guns weren't invented. I don't understand weapons. Obviously no one can understand why someone would do such a terrible shooting like this, but I don't even understand how our nation seeks such violent entertainment and gun rights and hunting (I mean killing for pure sport--I guess it's okay if you do take one deer and eat the meat) and how our kids play violent video games and TV is so violent and movies are worse and a movie like "300" brings millions in the box office. It just doesn't make sense to me.
I confess I did shoot a gun once in Alaska at some target across a lake. And Grandpa had guns and it's funny to hear him talk about how he would shoot some animal that was being bothersome to his farm. That's fine and I suppose some guns are necessary, but I just wish weapons weren't ever invented.
One of my favorite movies, Hotel Rwanda, has a harrowing scene where the main character is told to shoot is family because they are Tutsi. He says most sincerely, "Please, Sir, I don't use guns". I just love that line. "I don't use guns".
I don't think I would even shoot a gun in the wilderness at a target for fun these days, because I want to say that too.
Some people say that owning a gun makes you safer and can stop things like this--and who knows maybe so--but for me, I would never want a weapon in my house, just because of what it represents.
If NO ONE used guns this world would be quite improved. I know that is unrealistic, but I still wish it.
Next entry will be about happy daffodils again.

Daffodils

I love the daffodil glade at the Morton Arboretum. I have pictures of myself there when I was a little girl. I remember going there every spring. I remember going there as a teenager, holding hands with my boyfriend. Now I'm going there again with that boyfriend--now he's my husband and we have out two kids with us!
Here are a few pictures from our day today.

Even though the daffodils aren't as grand as some years thanks to the nasty weather we've had this April, there's something about daffodils that make me so happy--that make everyone happy I believe. I remember in high school we had to memorize a poem and I chose this one: (I don't' have it memorized any more but who needs memory with Google and everything instant these days?).

I WANDER'D lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the Milky Way,

They stretch'd in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:

I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.
By William Wordsworth (1770-1850).

Then again, maybe I should memorize this again and have the words on my mind as I'm in the field of daffodils.

My handsome boys at Easter time

Easter Fun

Easter time fun!

Rolled pasta with mushroom sauce

This was a delicious dish I made the other week. It's from The Culinary Institute of America One Dish Meals. I checked it out at the library and am now due to return it, and our scanner doesn't work so I'm going to copy it the old fashioned way. Well, sort of old fashioned way. (If plain typing on a computer is old fashioned).
Mushroom Sauce:
1/4 C. olive oil
3/4 C. minced onion
4 cups sliced white mushrooms
1 C. dry red wine (I think i substituted some chicken broth with a dash of vinegar)
2 C. diced plum tomatoes (fresh)
2 Tbs. mince marjoram leaves (hmm, I left this out too)
1 tsp. minced thyme leaves
salt, pepper

16 dry lasagna noodles
2 C. whole or part skim ricotta cheese
1 C. grated Parmesan cheese
2 C. grated Fontina
1/2 lb thinly sliced proscuitto

1. To make mushroom sauce: heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and saute, stirring frequently, until the onion is translucent and tender. Add the mushrooms and continue to saute, stirring frequently, until mushrooms are tender. Add the wine and cook over high heat until the wine is reduced by half. Add the tomatoes and herbs, reduce the heat slightly, and simmer until the sauce has a good consistency, about 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
2. While the sauce is simmering, cook the lasagna noddles in boiling salted water until tender, about 12 minutes. Drain the noodles thoroughly and rinse in cold water. Drain again.
3. Preheat the oven to 400 degree F.
4. Combine the ricotta and Parmesan cheese, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Lay one noodle flat on a work surface and spread the noodle with 2 Tbs. of the ricotta mixtures. Scatter about a tablespoon of the Fontina over the ricotta and top with a slice of prosciutto. Roll up the pasta and lay it seam-side down in a baking dish. Repeat until all of the noodles are filled and rolled.
5. Ladle the mushroom sauce over the noodles and bake the pasta until very hot and bubbly, about 30 minutes. Let the past rolls rest for 10 minutes before serving.
Makes 8 servings.

Funny boys

I've been meaning to write forever about all the funny things the boys do. They make me laugh every day--sometimes every minute!
Here are a few funny things they've said/done lately.
Today Nathan has been obsessed with a little bag of sand. He has always been quite materialistic and gets very attached to his toys. He always is asking for a "friend" to take with him somewhere or to nap with or to sleep with. Or he's saying he needs something soft and cuddly to hold. Like I said, today he has latched on to this little bad of sand. We got a flier in our drive way about a landscaping service, and it was attached to a bag of sand that kept it weighted. He's been holding it all day, watching the sand fall from one end of the bad to the other. We just put him to bed and he asked if he could sleep with his bag of sand! So now he's cuddled up in bed with his little bag of sand!
James has really been into Marshmallows lately. He saw some at the store and really was asking for it, so I let him get a bag. Of course all that day that's what he wanted to eat. I kept saying now so he got creative with his wording. He asked "can I have another tiny silky white monster?" I had to give into that. Nathan thought that trick might work for Hershey kisses. He asked "can I have another little mountain?" Of course, it did work.
The other day the boys were playing outside when the dog next door got loose. It's quite a small dog but it's jumpy and the boys feel nervous around "Cookie". James was on his motorcycle (big wheels) when Cookie came running after him. In all seriousness he said "no Cookie, go away, I'm not a toy!"
We've had lots of funny potty talk lately . I know someday I'll hate the potty talk, but since it's so new for us, we talk about it a lot and the boys say some funny things. Like today James made a very big boy poop and I said "Oh, look at your big poo-poo!" he said "No, it's a train" (and it was amazingly long like a train)
Whenever the boys start tooting we ask them if they need to use the potty because often a bm will follow. So now if we toot once they ask, "do you need to go to the potty?" That's a bit embarrassing. Jason was a bit gassy this afternoon and James asked "Is your bottom sick?" Okay one more. Jason for some reason told the boys the expression "dropping the kids off at the pool" for a poop. So if it's not a big long train, they talk about their kids swimming in the pool after they go potty. Gross! *but funny. Okay okay, one more. At Chili's tonight Jason took the boys to the bathroom and James ran back to me, "Mom I used the urinal!" Jason said last time he was with Nathan in a urinal there was someone else next to them and Nathan said "daddy, he's going pee pee too!" Oh my little boys are growing up! lining up in the bathroom, something I will never understand.
There's so much more but that's just off the top of my head. I'll write more later!