O Christmas Tree

I've hit some major milestones Christmas-wise around here this year:

1. Actually doing real holiday baking. I made caramels, almond roca, peanut butter chocolate balls, coconut chocolate balls, fudge, and pretzel rods dipped in white chocolate and rolled in crushed candy cane. Well, I didn't technically make the pretzel rods, but you get the point. This was my first time making most of these things--and from the ten pounds I've most likely gained from eating them all, hopefully the last. If I don't get the last of them doorbell ditched tonight I may have to buy a few new pairs of jeans.

2. Having a beautifully decorated tree that my children don't touch. Last year I bought them their own little 4 foot tree to put all their ornaments on. Best thing I've ever done. For the most part, they have left my tree alone. It is such a relief to not have to redecorate it over and over again.

3. Getting Chad to leave Toys R Us with only 3 purchases. Enough said.

4. Attending Chad's first office Christmas party. Oh, the awkwardness that ensued! Some tidbits include the fact that the hygienist's boyfriend hosted and cooked all the food, half of us eating in the living room and half at the kitchen table because the dining room table was covered with the food spread even though it was huge and had 10 beautifully upholstered chairs that could have seated us all at the same time, laughter about a piece of dog hair in someone's food (note, if this had been human hair. No one would have been laughing. Just thoroughly grossed out. Why do people love dogs more than humans? I'll take someone who shakes my hand to greet me over sticking its nose in my crotch any day), lots of comments on the sparkling grape juice they had purchased for Chad and I's nonalcoholic consumption, and then hysterical laughter over Chad's comment that he could "go both ways" in referring to whether he liked regular or Cherry Coke better (because the others had not been drinking sparkling grape juice....).

5. Having my parents visit for Christmas.

Bloggity Blog Blog

It snowed for 30 minutes for the first time in like 10 years. Nothing stuck, unfortunately for the girls--who cry frequently that we don't live somewhere with snow.

We went camping. Now that was interesting.

We have a pirate in our midst. Rylee has to wear an eye patch over one eye now when we are at home. She wouldn't let me take a picture of her in it, but this is the exact patch she has.

And Then There Were...Maggots?

I hosted Thanksgiving for 10 adults and 15 kids. Overall, quite fun, but there were definite pros and cons...
Pro: Getting to use my dining room table as the adult table with my china and fancy silverware. And putting a chocolate turkey on everyone's plate. And having my neighbor do the centerpieces for me because I'm not good at stuff like that.

Con: Having to borrow chairs from everyone and their mother because I have no dining room chairs.
Pro: Finding cute acorn things from the neighbor's tree to put at the bottom of my hurricanes (acorns not pictured).

Con: Discovering the acorns host maggots when I went to dispose of them after Thanksgiving.
Pro: Going in on bounce house rentals with the other families we shared the holiday with to occupy the kids so the adults could enjoy a nice sit-down meal.

Cons: One of the Dad's nearly breaking his neck doing a back flip inside, and having our neighbor ER doctor have to leave his Thanksgiving dinner to come and take a look at him, then having him refuse to go get a CAT scan because he was worried about the cost. Oh yeah, and Avery dumping a bucket of sand inside one of them an hour before they are supposed to get picked up and me having to clean it to avoid a charge.

Overall, we had a great holiday and I'm still somewhat amazed I pulled the whole thing off--especially the turkey, whose pop-up timer I couldn't locate to tell if it was done or not.

Annie, Don't Read This Post

I was late to the Twilight bandwagon. I didn't read any of the books until after I saw the movie last Thanksgiving. Partly, because I knew deep down I would like them--and I wasn't sure I wanted to go there. But I did, and I have, and in my excitement for the New Moon premiere, I find myself still wishing I had these to play with:

And I know if we were still ten my best friend, Audra would play with them with me. And I would be Bella and she would be Edward because I was usually mean and made her be the boy, and we'd make them say something like the following:

Bella: "Ugh! I thought school would never end! Do you want to come up to my room and almost make out?"

Edward: (chuckling) "Only if you have a blanket I can wrap you in first so your frail, human body doesn't get hypothermia."

Bella: "Don't worry about me." (Throws herself into his hard, granite body)

Kissing and hands knotting in hair ensue.

Bella: "Ouch!"

Edward: "Bella! What's wrong? It's so unlike you to pull away before you've had a chance to try and take your clothes off!"

Bella: "Oh! I think I chipped a tooth on your marble lips!"

Edward: (chuckling, then smirking) "So the kissing was too much for you?"

Bella: "Not even close. It will take more than a chipped tooth to stop me!" (she reaches for him but finds her arms restrained in an ironlike grip)

Edward: "Come on, we'd better get you to the hospital. They probably keep your chart permanently open."

Bella: "The hospital? Shouldn't we go to a dentist?"

Edward: "Carlisle attended the Baltimore College of Dental Surgery when it first opened in the 1840s. It was the first dental college in the United States, you know."

Bella: "No, I didn't know. Great, so now you guys are all dentists in addition to doctors? Will the playing field ever be even?"

Edward: (shrugging, with another chuckle) "Well, it looks like it's a good thing because now we can take care of your dental, as well as your medical needs."

Bella: "In a minute." (wraps her leg around him and more kissing and hands knotting in hair ensue).

And the Nobel Prize Goes to....

Me. Truth be told, I would have preferred the Pulitzer, but this will do. How did I earn this, you ask? Well, this morning I was blow-drying my hair and noticed in the mirror how wrinkled the front of my shirt was (due most likely to the fact that it was on the floor in my closet for a few days). People who leave their clothes on the floor of their closets are generally too lazy to iron as well. So, knowing that I would be in public today, I pulled the bottom of the shirt until the fabric was taut and ran the blow dryer over the wrinkled area a few times. Voila! No wrinkles! I'm still working on my acceptance speech.

The Ultimate Motherly Sacrifice:

I just turned my credit card points into a $250 Toys R Us gift card instead of one for Crate & Barrel or Pottery Barn. I'm starting to feel bah-humbuggy already...

I can't stop laughing....

Our Third Texas Halloween

Hard to believe we've been in Texas for 3 Halloweens now. I will say one thing, those Texans sure know how to do Halloween... Each house we went Trick-or-Treating at Chad would comment on how festive their decor was, "Wow, they did a good job!" (i.e. they have a lot of inflatables), or "Wow, they even have music!" or "They have their smoke machine on! I forgot to set mine up!"

I showed Rylee how to organize her candy. She was sad when her massive Sugar Daddy didn't have a "buddy" to go along with it. I gave up and let them have free reign with their candy after they each ate a bowl of oatmeal this morning.Our neighborhood loves a reason to party. Our friends ordered pizza for the who cul-de-sac , there was a portable firepit, and I'm pretty sure a margarita machine.
The house behind ours had put together a haunted house in their garage. The neighborhood had a planning meeting 2 weeks ago about it. The theme was "An Emergency Room Gone Wrong."
We ate BBQ (which is a phrase that only makes sense to me because I now live in Texas) with our neighbors before Trick-Or-Treating. I like Avery's expression i this picture.

I was so busy finding costumes I forgot to coordinate shoes for some of the costumes...

Soccer Game

Well, we finally found a bribing system that worked to get Avery to stop crying and actually start playing soccer. Something clicked and now she likes it and we don't have to bribe her at all anymore.

Avery did some incredible dancing with her shadow when she was playing fullback. Maybe it's because her team is called The Groovy Girls

Her uber-intense coach, Coach Rick. Never seen with out a whistle. Or using words that cause 4-year-olds to stare at him blankly, like "rebound", "off-sides", "defense", and "offense."

The first of a couple posts

A Texas pumpkin patch wouldn't be complete without farming equipment to climb on...


This was billed as a train ride... Hmm.... A very loose interpretation of the word "train", but the girls enjoyed it anyway.

I think the hayride is when Avery started to break out in hives. Her face was covered by the time we left, she looked like a teenager with a horrible case of acne.

Have you ever...

been stopped in the mall with your kids by the SuperNanny casting department? Oh wait, I have.

Cheap Entertainment

Fun times

Conversations with Rylee while she is home convalescing

Me: "And you better not spill that on my floor!"

Rylee: "Mom, do you love your floors more than anything?"

Me: "Sometimes I do. Especially when they're clean."

Apparently it's been awhile since Rylee has been to a mall. We entered today through Macy's and she stopped to admire the shoes, dresses, and then stood enraptured at the makeup counter. Only the sight of the perfume counter and me telling her I would put some on her got her to move from the makeup displays.

"Mom, are we allowed to do that???"

Once she smelled delicious I finally dragged her into the main portion of the mall where she stood in amazement.

"You mean there's more than one store here???"

She thought she'd died and gone to heaven. Especially when she spotted a be-dazzled, be-glittered and be-rhinestoned denim skirt in The Children's Place. Fortunately I could play the upcoming birthday card.

She is the girliest girl I have ever seen. I think I'm going to take her for a pedicure for her birthday instead of having a party. I can't wait for our future shopping adventures. I hope daddy will be able to support this hobby--she was getting a little angry at me saying, "No, that costs too much money," over and over again today...

This Little Piggy...

It was inevitable that we get visited by the Swine Flu Fairy...

San Francisco

My pictures are not uploading for some reason, so I'll just give you a verbal rundown on Chad and I's trip to San Francisco, because I know you care...

- Have you flown without children recently? I haven't in 6 1/2 years. It's so easy! Only one person's shoes to take off at security! No stroller to collapse and fit through an x-ray machine! No naptimes to worry about! No one kicking the seat! And the extra space in my purse from not bringing a treat and activity arsenal to keep them entertained....Wow!

- Witnessing San Francsico Bike Day upon our arrival into the city, which included every hippie California has ever known and at least 3 stark naked middle aged men. 50 year old naked man on a bike = not good. 50 year old naked man roller blading = even worse. This is when I started to wonder if we picked the wrong city for our vacation....

- Our hotel was slightly ghetto, but located quite conveniently in Fisherman's Wharf. Biggest complaint was the trolley stop right outside the window of our room, whose bells and shuddering sounds I still hear in my sleep. But I did not complain about this trolley stop's location when I needed to ride out and it saved me quite a walk...

-Met up with our friends from San Diego, the Wiltbanks, for a delightful Saturday lunch down at the wharf.

- Biking 19 nineteen 9-teen NINE teen miles across the Golden Gate bridge through Sausilito and Tiburon. Did I mention I biked 19 miles??? I haven't rode a bike since I was probably 10, excluding a one-time beach cruiser escapade along the Newport Beach boardwalk when I was like 8 months pregnant with Avery. That was a sight. The bike rental people had me give my bike a test run across the building before we left. "Hm, I can tell you haven't rode a bike in a while, but it will come back to you." Way to inspire confidence. I didn't know we would be doing anything slightly athletic, so I'd only packed "going out" clothes. My bike riding attire ended up being jeans, a tank top that goes under things, a white cardigan and pumas. Let's just say that after about twenty minutes of riding, I found a bush, removed several layers if you know what I mean, and rolled up my jeans. I made quite the sight. But I made it to Tiburon! So yeah me! I did bike up at least 4 or 5 hills before I decided that anytime I came to hill I would immediately dismount. Too bad my pictures aren't uploading, because you're missing a doosie Chad took of me in my rolled up jeans walking my bike up a hill...

- Waiting in line for breakfast for an hour and a half at Dottie's True Blue Cafe. Which was quite good, but nothing is really worth waiting an hour and a half for when it's cold outside and you're hungry.

- Developing pneumonia from taking the night tour of Alcatraz and sitting outside in the cold.

- Finishing an entire Ghirardelli Butterscotch sundae on my own.

- 4th row center seats to Wicked.

- Creating a custom pound of See's chocolate.

- San Franscisco MOMA. Chad and I decided we are just not smart/and/or dumb enough to appreciate modern art. I like abstract paintings, but those sculptures made out of junk and weird things are just beyond me.

- 2 other museums, Japanese tea gardens, Coit tower, lots of shopping districts and yummy food, ferry rides and trolley and bus adventures.

- Renting a car and driving the 1 along the coast down to Monterey where we visited the Aquarium and drove the 17-mile-drive where Chad ogled the golf courses (Pebble Beach, Spy Glass and 2 more I can't remember the names) and I ogled mansions.

- Running out of things to talk about 3/4 of the way through the trip. Does this mean we have a bad marriage?

- Hearing the girls yell "Mommy!" When I got in the car at the airport.

My sister Jamie was a saint to come and watch the girls all week for me--although I fear this babysitting adventure was more effective than any birth control prescription could ever be. I have a feeling it will be a few more years now until any Neuenswander cousins make an appearance. But I really appreciate her coming and have completely overlooked the green salt water taffy ground in Izzy's room's carpet and the pieces of granola bar on my bathroom floor that the ants found. I know the girls were little monsters so she deserves a really good Christmas present this year and all years to come.

We had the most wonderful time though, and I can't believe how much I loved San Francisco. I didn't expect that. Especially after the naked bike day men... But we did, and I can't wait to go back someday--hopefully with a more willing shopping partner :)

Avery

A belated shout-out to Aves:

Who started soccer last week (which she hates and cries through most of)

Turned 4

And finally got to go to preschool

And whose fashion sense puts my own to shame.

My Camera

I downloaded the photos from my camera today. I found 211 one and two second video clips as well as few of these little gems from my budding photographers.

1. You wouldn't miss a single plot-point in Little Bear because each frame has been captured.

2. They love documenting each knick-knack as much as I love buying it3. Look! A clean kitchen! But I am on the phone again, so I guess that cancels it out. Most of the pictures I found were of messy rooms, me on the phone, me on the computer, or close-ups of their faces.4. Yep, still on the phone

5. If there's a way to make me look as unflattering as possible in a picture, they will find it.

Oops

My first failure (and there are sure to be more) as the parent of a Kindergartner:

Forgetting to send her freshly laundered rest towel back to school with her Monday. Actually, forgetting to launder it all, if we want to be technical here. How dirty can it be? She lays on it for 30 minutes a day. 

A Conversation With My Friend Jill

Jill: "I feel like I never see Karina anymore. She comes home from kindergarten and her and Luke [her 4-year-old] are so happy to see each other they hug and hug and then run up to their rooms and play with their toys for like two hours."

Katie: "Rylee comes home, Avery begs her to play with her, Rylee yells 'no!' and heads to her room, where she then has a meltdown, 'Avery! You played in my room! You touched my toys!' Shoves Avery out of her room, who starts crying and screaming hysterically. 'Get out of my room! Don't ever come in here! She messed everything up! I had made centers!' And then she lays on the floor crying and screaming hysterically while Avery lays on the floor outside of her room, kicking her door to come in."

Um, we've got a problem...

Nary a tear was shed by either party.

Izzy decided to wear her backpack too.

I decided to take a minute during Izzy's nap to quiz Avery on her alphabet since she is starting preschool in two weeks. 30 seconds later it became quite apparent that I never bothered to teach Avery her letters after she guessed "18" for P, followed by "9", "6" and "H"... "H" seems to be her go-to letter for guessing.  Oops.

She's Got a Point...

Rylee: "Mom, I don't like our backyard. There's too much grass, we need a bigger patio."

Me: "I know."

Rylee: "Well, can we get one?"

Me: "Sorry, I don't have $25,000. Do you?"

Rylee: "I have my money jar."

Me: "I don't think you have $25,000 in your money jar."

Rylee, quiet for a minute. "Well, if you did the end of Wipeout you would have $25,000."

Me: "Good point. Why don't you talk to Daddy about that."

Don't Cry For Me, Argentina!

I am officially the ONLY mom not crying over her baby starting kindergarten. Rylee starts at Cactus Ranch Elementary on Tuesday and I couldn't be happier. This week started off with the Welcome Walk (each teacher comes to the home of the children in her class and introduces herself) followed by Friday's "Back to School Howdy," where we pick up school supplies and buy "spirit wear" that somehow incorporates the school mascot of a longhorn cow head. Say what you will about the school name, cow head mascot, and using the word "howdy" as part of a back to school event, but Texans are so nice (I mean the teacher comes to your house!), and the school is amazing.

At the Howdy (sorry, I just had to throw that word in there), all I could think about was, "I get to leave you here all day, everyday, from 7:45-2:45" and "now you can only say hateful things to me from 5 pm-7:30 pm, because you'll probably be too tired during the morning and late afternoon hours to remember you feel that way" and "now someone will finally teach you to read, because I've tried and you get mad and tell me you just want me to read the book" and "finally this won't cost $210 a month" and a few other things I won't mention, lest I sound like an unfit parent. 

And now I'm trying to think of a way to end this post without sounding like a horrible person, because I will miss her little-red-glasses-face... 

But mostly, I think Kindergarten is a fabulous institution and I embrace it even if entails her wearing a giant cow's head on a blue tie-dyed shirt. Which I bought her yesterday. At the Howdy.

Bang Bang

I got bangs. I kinda feel like I'm wearing a wig. 

I Spy Something Red...

Buying glasses with your child is not fun. Once she decides she likes a pair, there's no dissuading her--especially when there are rhinestones and multi-color butterflies on the sides. I think we're going to get a cheaper back-up pair in pink. There seems to be a lot more of that in her wardrobe.

What is Happening to Me?

I just considered exercising for a SECOND time today, just so I could watch another Gilmore Girls episode!!!

Top Ten Reasons Summer Has Worn Out Its Welcome

1. I'm getting a creepy tan line on my chest from my swimsuit

2. I'm done with towels: washing them, having them hang over shower rods, having them piled on the floor. Basically, having them out of the cupboard, in general.

3. Rylee and Avery can't go 3 minutes without getting into a fight.

4. Avery has a large, bleeding scratch across her stomach from someone's fingernail. (See above)

5. I'm craving fall comfort food, e.g. banana bread, pumpkin bread, zucchini bread (basically any bread, oh how I hate you South Beach diet!)

6. Grocery shopping (or any shopping, for that matter) with three small children is a logistical nightmare. From the moment we walk into a store they fight over which cart to use, who gets to sit where in the cart, who sits by who in the cart, who has to take a turn walking, who has to take a turn in the back, who gets to pick the yogurt... And all at an extremely high decibel. With crying. And screaming. And pinching. Did I mention the screaming?

7. Paying the water bill is getting old. But not as old as paying the air conditioning bill.... Did I mention my neighbor's had a bill over $700 last summer? 

8. The kids are turning into TV junkies.

9. Avery cries everyday that it's not Christmas. Or Halloween. Or her birthday. Or a day to be at "the fair".

10. There are too many small children in the house at any given time. Some of them still in their pajamas at 4:23 in the afternoon. Some of them need to go somewhere else. Like school. Soon. Before CPS comes for me.

UGH!

I made it through Day 3!!! So why don't I feel thinner yet???

Jamie's Wedding

I had a big, long post planned for Jamie's wedding, but now I'm too tired. Just know that it was gorgeous and she looked beautiful! 

We called her Anne of Green Gables in her gorgeous ivory, lace dress

This was the best cake I have ever eaten in my entire life.

Picture taking was difficult when children were involved. Or more specifically, my children.

Sisters 4eva