Start of the holidays. Start of mugging?

GP paper today. The day started on a very bad note. First, it was the massive jam on the SLE on the way to school. Darn Malaysian bus got into an accident and it took up all lanes of the freeway, making it impassable. Initially, all cars had to exit via Mandai. However, as we approached nearer, our dear efficient police had already moved the affected vehicles to the road shoulder. But 45 minutes in the jam made me a very irritated person. I became very frustrated especially when I made extra effort to leave the house 15 minutes earlier just to be early in school. Bad move. I think I was still really pissed during paper 1 that I wasn’t putting in my best effort. Oh! Thank god they pushed back the paper by 15 minutes so those affected by the jam could make it in time. And, we weren’t booked late! Haha!

I’m getting mixed signals. Sometimes I think it’s a green light, but sometimes it’s red. It’s only a couple of days left. How? I don’t know. As always, I’ll probably go with the flow, and do my best and live life to the fullest. Tough again. But I’m trying to be the tough cookie here right? Haha!

4 more days before we all leave for UK. I may not show it, but I’m actually looking forward to it. The only thing is that I hope part of the revision for prelims 1 will be covered there. It’s also good as there will be someone to guard me, making sure I don’t watch too much of the French Open. So what am I looking forward to? I’d love to see Lake District, Manchester, OLD TRAFFORD! Yikes! It’s a dream come true! Whooo! I’m also looking forward to the shopping - Marks and Spencer, Harrods and of course Nike and Adidas. I’m hoping to get a new pair of training shoes there especially when merchandisers in Singapore sucks. They always bring in stuff that is so…. Well… ordinary. I seldom get to see tour items on sale. And of course, if there’s any good apparel, I’ll snap them too! This is gonna be fun, especially with the upcoming Wimbledon; they may have even nicer set of apparel out this season. *fingers crossed*

Then it was down to Holland V, by myself as Pris was lazy to keep my company. Too bad, it’s her loss now that she can’t get a sneak preview of my new hairstyle. It’s much lighter now and easy to manage. This means, I won’t have to spend so much time every morning fussing over my hair. =) it’s good going to have my hair done at that time of the day, as there aren’t many people and I got to really nice people fussing over my hair. Treatment for a diva, although I’m not exactly one. Haha! I got this new essential oil treatment for my hair which has a lifeless form ever since I neglected it. Drats! I better take good care of it.

I feel proud of myself today! I did not once try to flag for the cab, which I usually do. From Woodlands, to Holland V, to town and back to Novena, I got to all these places with the help of the friendly public transport system. Although of course, mom picked me up at Novena. Haha! But it’s a huge improvement! I would usually flag a cab down to Holland V. Heehee.

A big burden off my load... But, not quite...

Finally, the big events were all completed in one day. The Deputy Director came for a visit yesterday and she came in to have a look at the tablet pcs. The visit was a short one, but there were tons of preparations prior to that. Firstly, we had to bear with Mr Chow’s flaring temper and him losing his patience. That was the worst part of all. However, it was not as though we weren’t used to this at all. The teachers always do this to us. Sometimes, I think I’ve hardened. Ok, moving on, it was the massive cleaning of the classroom. It was certainly labour intensive. There was sweeping of all the dust and food particles, and then it was the mopping. Argh! That was certainly back breaking. I don’t usually do housework, so imagining me mopping the floor in class can be quite… hmmm… you know what I mean. I felt that the dried mud stains were the hardest to get them off the floor. I think that partly constituted for my sore back right now. As I mentioned earlier in my last entry, I don’t feel that ‘team spirit’ anymore. Everyone seems to be in apathy. Sure, you may think that it’s just an observation, but haven’t you heard that first impressions count? How would you feel if you walk into a class for the first time with a stench in the air and the floor filled with stains? I had to get some oil from a teacher to help mask the stench in class. but i think it didn't really work, or was it my imagination? I must state that I’m generalizing here. And I do apologise if I’ve offended you in anyway. Just before I forget, kudos to Gillian, Sam, Pris Leow, Cassie, Faiz and Siti for helping me get some of the sweeping and mopping along the way.

I felt that the observation went through pretty smoothly. Even though there were some glitches here and there, but it was very natural mistakes. None of them seem too ‘fake’. Of course, this blunders came from Mr Chow when he said that ‘a zip up the front’ when it’s supposed to ‘a zip up in the back’! And, he said it in a room that the majority are women! That was definitely the highlight of the lesson.

After which it was the council investiture. Yesterday was the day that I stepped down from my post as a councilor. Although my term wasn’t as fulfilling as I had hoped it to be. But the wonderful memories that we all share together were good times. We had our differences, misunderstandings, but they were all settled in the end. Of course, not all though. I swore that I would not cry yesterday. But somehow, during Mrs Naidu’s speech, tears just welled up in my eyes for a minute or two. The bunch of us got together during the first three months last year and to get through those days with limited resources, money and human resource was difficult. We screwed up the second orientation but I was glad. For that was when we got our misunderstandings settled and really bonded together as a council. As of now, I’m no longer a councilor. I’m just an ordinary student gunning towards my A levels, hoping to get a decent grade…

160 days. And the clock is ticking…

Mind Games

I think I get influenced too easily. Whatever people say or do, I either believe their views or take it seriously. I’m not saying that I don’t have a mind of my own. But sometimes, I tend to become prejudice because of this. Am I too sensitive or is my instincts right? I really don’t know. I really wanna be a part of it. However, there are so many things that are holding me back. I’m used to a ‘team’ atmosphere. Got a problem? Thrash it out and forget about it man! That’s what the spirit is all about. I’ve been trying so hard, and I’m getting tired of the game. Time-out! It’s time to move on. I gotta do it, no matter how tough and hard it might be. Cliché, I know.

Today’s afternoon off from reality was great. Although I wished that I was back on court on a beautiful Friday afternoon, I had to sit out. I’m getting worried. My ankle is still giving me problems. Lots of problems. Sometimes when I walk, I just feel the sudden weakness in my legs. And, I still can’t do a half-about turn. Is this the end of my tennis days? It might be a good time to stay in the sidelines and concentrate on the path right in front of me. But the pull from behind is too strong. I’ve been doing this since I was a kid who just started running. Giving it up just like that is a no-go, not without a fight. Of course, I must also take into consideration my A levels, which is so darn worrying. Prelims 1 are round the corner, and I’m not even confident of it. What the future lies, I don’t know.

Moms' Antics

Stop nagging and stop getting flared up all of a sudden. It's getting on my nerves. Don't ever accuse an innocent person! You know I despise all these kind of people. Sometimes I really wish I can grow up, get a decent job, get myself an apartment and car and move outta here. One's a stick in the mud and the other has weird behaviour. I got a dysfunctional family. Seriously.

Anyway, to get me out of my rage, we'll move on to happier stuff, like the town outing last thursday with Pris and Cassie. Here are some of the pictures...

Sinner but now a changed person...

It’s a Monday, and it’s a little queer blogging right now. This post is indeed a shocker, especially when I’m notorious for only updating this once in a blue moon.

I’ve been thinking a lot today about what mom has said. Considering the events and those odd questions, I believe what she has speculated. In fact, I was also thinking the same way before she brought the matter up to me. I know that I’ve sinned in the past. But what matters now is the present and the fact that I’ve changed to be a better individual. I’ve been trying very hard to atone for it, and start everything anew. Throughout today, I’ve been racking my brains to think of a perfect solution that will change the others’ perspective. However, it doesn’t really matter. I may have done wrong, but that was in the past. And I don’t need to account my actions to anyone. It’s their brains and heart to choose who they wanna believe and only time will be able to change that warp illusion of theirs. Till then, I’m just going to be my usual self and work hard towards my goal, for I believe that I will be able to do it. (I HOPE)

My utmost apologies to all those peeps who have to bear my brunt today at school. I hope, after a good night’s sleep, I will forget everything and continue to live my life as if the subject that was mentioned with mom didn’t even happen. We will just act as if everything is normal and prove my cynics wrong, one day.

It's another long, long day...

It’s a terrible weekend! It rained on Friday, ruining my chance of getting a full body workout, as well as the outlet to vent my frustrations. it has been sometime since I felt the ecstasy from the adrenalin rush. I really needed that. Haha! It has been a bad period of time. Deadlines, sniggering, much-deserved scolding and various problems that we all have in life. They say friends are like wine. It gets better as years pass. But it’ll be such a disappointment if you went to a particular place and they say that they ‘haven’t had that spirit since nineteen sixty nine’. Gee! I’m not really making sense here am I? But never mind… I guess I’ll soon find out a way to express what I think and say it straight in the face of some peeps.

Thank goodness it rained only in the afternoon the very next day. All that sweating out felt so good, even though I stink! But heck! I was finally getting my fat ass and doing some workout. Unfortunately, I still can’t reach the epitome before my injury. It seems like it’s pretty serious this time round. Coach said it just missed the ligament by like a couple of cm, so I guess I gotta be careful. Maybe I should consider taking a few months off. Nah! I’ll get withdrawal symptoms, so I guess not. Someone unexpected also messaged me today. But I really appreciate it. It’s nice to see at least maybe I can still drink that bottle of wine even though after a very long time… however, sometimes I wonder is it because of a crisis that led to that message. Who knows? And I certainly don’t care.

Argh! I’ve got muscle cramps from the short session yesterday! That’s the sign that I’m beginning to grow fat. I should go back to my daily exercise regime. But the long hours I spent in school has eliminated my daily gym session at home. I just had an argument with dad. Come to think of it, I find so funny. Not too long ago, Britain banned the Australian tourism ad all because they used the word ‘bloody’, claiming that it was offensive. Ironic. Britons use it in their everyday vocabulary and they dare claim that. Well, my argument with dad was something like that. You see, he came into my room to look for god-knows-what when I was sleeping and after that he didn’t even bother to close the door back especially when the air-conditioning unit was on. So I shouted: ‘Close that bloody door’ as it was bringing in sunlight, glaring my eyes. And he got angry cos I used the word bloody. Come on! It’s not the first time. Furthermore, I didn’t use the word fucking or anything. I think my mind has subconsciously reminded me not to use that word when I’m half asleep after my infamous alarm clock cursing stint. I shan’t reveal the details here. Go look for those who know and see whether they are in the mood to tell you. Haha!

Meanwhile, it was girls’ day out on Thursday afternoon. Thanks Pris and Cassie for the good, goofy and great time we had trying fantastic food tasting session, pictures galore and definitely the shopping. Do it again sometime yeah? Even though someone can go all the way to Meridian shopping centre from the Heeren and not get anything in the end. Haha! Anway, I saw this crumpler bad that I absolutely love. But it cost a bomb, and mom is not paying for me. She always complains that I have too many bags. Hello! It’s the pot calling the kettle black here! And that canon cam! Ooo! I need money! More moolah!

Somehow... I don't feel good... I thought it will be different, but it's just another bad day

Cassie was here for a visit! Your tabby's keypad is so different from mine! hahah!

Should i stay for maths? but my cough is killing me and i need my medicine!

Ok. It's me again. I've pushed Cassie away. Haha!
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It actually started off pretty well. I didn’t fall asleep on the toilet bowl, or when I was brushing my teeth. It fact, I got to school pretty early today. Lectures went on fine, so did tutorials, although I gotta admit that they were a lil overwhelming. But, this is a sad life of a JC2 student. We don not have lives.

Everybody wants to gain recognition for what him or her has done. I mean, who wouldn’t? This is human nature, and no one can change this fact. When I see someone take away the ‘glory’ for something that I’ve done, I suddenly lose all that purpose and motivation to do it. Fortunately, most of the times, it’s just a temporary thing. I usually get over it. But I must say that it’s tough to get over certain stuff when it comes to team work. After all that you slog your guts out and you don’t even receive a ‘good job!’ or a five. Now that sucks. I’m generalizing here, so don’t take me too seriously. This moves me on to my next point.

The effects of gossip and rumours can really make or break someone. Because of what you say to others, it does affect the way you see the others. This is definitely uncalled for! I’ve never publicly shout it out here or anywhere else before, but sometimes, certain attitudes are really childish and immature. I tried to rectify the problem, but the more I give in, the more I try, I feel even more terrible. Why? That’s because I get ‘attacked’. Why should I subject myself to more of these ‘tortures’?

Moving on, it’s such a pity to see that even though you have gone through so much together, people still will forget you. Like they always say, “Out of sight and out of mind”. Come on! Time schedules sucks, but I can’t do anything about it. It’s something that is not within my control. I do try, but even if I was there, I’m just another clueless individual surrounded by tons of missing information. You laugh, I don’t, you cry, I don’t either.