The Green Team: February 2014

We got home on the Sunday after I delivered after just two nights in the hospital. I stayed longer with Malcolm, as I was a c-section. I remember really liking postpartum with Mal. I could finally get comfortable, I had someone else to do stuff for me like bring me water and food and pain medicine. Plus, when I went home I ended up with pneumonia, so my recovery outside the hospital is seared into my memory as not very pleasant early on.
This go around, I found the hospital very BOOOORING. I was happy to go home so soon.

The first night back I was very nervous. I was nervous for Malcolm's adjustment and how it would really be at home with two.

However, I went to bed after that first day really happy and full of thankfulness for the beautifull life I've been given. Malcolm was a doll. Ryan brought him home and he was just his usual happy charming self. Plus, he finally interacted with Elliot.

He once again pointed out that she has eyes, nose, etc. He loved it when she had her eyes open and seemed to look at him. She was in her bouncer during dinner and started fussing. I watched as Mal paused to listen, then a grin spread wider and wider across his face. Ryan and I shared a grin across the table. "What's that?" Malcolm asked. I asked him what he thought it was. "Baby sister is making noises!" It was so fun to see him get excited.

He asked for us to get her out of her bouncer so he could look at her. Then when I was feeding her, he came and sat by me with books. And stood next to me and played with a Wooly Willy toy he had gotten from our family visitors on my lap.

And as I sat there surrounded by my babies. Both happy and at home. I was struck by how absolutely beautiful it was. I've said a million prayers lately it seems. Sometimes for strength, but usually it's just to say thank you a million times over. For I am truely truely blessed.

Not every day since then has been so glistening and golden in my memory. But I continue to count my blessings all 1 (Ryan), 2 (Malcolm), 3 (Elliot), of them. I can't believe my luck!

Ah, here it is! Elliot's birth story.
Yes, we had our little girl. Elliot Laura, born at 4:11 on 2/7/14. She was 6 lbs 4 oz, and 20 in. long. She surprised us with her abundance of dark hair, and her teeny tiny size. At least compared to her big brother who weighed in at 8 lbs, 1 oz.
Without further ado... all the gory details. (Okay, I'll try to keep the gore to a minimum.)

2/6/14 was a Thursday. Malcolm and I went to the midwife's office because I thought I had an appointment. Turns out it was not until the next day, but they weren't busy, so they squeezed me in. I was 4 days over due and spent the appointment discussing elective induction and what the plan would be if I choose to wait, etc. I decided I would wait to see if she'd come on her own. I felt optimistic that it could happen soon because I had lost my mucus plug that morning (too gory?) and was having little contractions pretty constantly.

I don't remember much more about the day, except that that evening Ryan and I watched Ryan's favorite movie, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World and I continued to have contractions on and off.

That night, Ryan actually went to bed in the basement in the guest bed. He had been feeling sick with a cold and congestion and didn't want to get me sick. With Mal I was sick with a chest cold before his delivery and ended up with pneumonia the week after. I went to bed alone, feeling like it was really really likely I'd go into labor. Dunno why, I just felt like it was going to happen.

I woke up at 11 pm, after only a few hours of sleep (Went to bed at 9:30. I was tired! and also felt like I'd need sleep for the impending labor and delivery.) with strong contractions. They came at regular enough intervals I had timed them to be about 3-5 minutes apart. So I wandered downstairs to wake Ryan.

He popped right awake so easily when I went in the room that I thought for sure he hadn't slept. But turns out he was sure it was the morning already. Funny the way waking in a different place disorients you.

We called my mom right around midnight, and then I busied myself between contractions putting last minute things in my hospital bag, and packing a bag for Mal. By the time Dad came to get Malcolm (Dad was in good spirits and seemed really excited. He loves his grand babies.) I was getting more and more uncomfortable with each contraction. I called the answering service for the midwives, and later spoke to the midwife on call. She told me to just head to the hospital when I felt like I needed to. By 1:30 am, after a blessing from Ryan, we headed out.

I labored for a while with Malcolm before going to the hospital and I remember the contractions were not as strong as they seemed to be when I went to the hospital with Elliot. I was already at 6 cm with Malcolm when we got to the hospital, so I was hopeful that I would be at least that far. We had a long wait to get checked in and admitted because someone was literally crowning halfway through our initial assessment etc. When the nurse finally checked me, all my hopes were dashed as I was only 2.5 cm!

Hooked up and waiting to get checked in. Oh so happy and huge.

How's this one instead?

So hours passed, I labored. The contractions were requiring a lot of focus. I saw the midwife somewhere in there. We discussed my desire for a water birth. She said she'd like me to be closer to a 4 or 5 before laboring in the water. So I labored. And labored. It's definitely called that for a reason. By the time it was like 4:30 am I was really hurting bad with each contraction. Wholey moley! I remember it being bad with Mal, but this was really really difficult! I mean REALLY!!! I just couldn't believe how much each contraction hurt. I knew the likelihood of this baby being born naturally was wearing thin. Then I was checked again and over 4 hours after the first check, do you know where I was????? 3 cm. 3!!! I was so disappointed. I told the nurse I thought I'd like to quit. They were rolling in the big blow up tub to start getting set up. But with my stamina and motivation the way it was, I felt too guilty making all the nurses and techs get it all filled up when I was likely to not use it for long.

So we opted for the regular tub in the room. It was still deep, like jacuzzi deep, and if I liked it in there, I could feel better about the big tub.

It was no good. I felt better for like10 minutes. But I knew, I was done.

Could I have gone on? Sure. I could work at it and do it.
Did I have to?
HAIL no! :)

So I got an epidural at about 5am ish. It was quick and nice. Way better than my first.

When I got it, I didn't feel disappointed. I didn't feel like I had failed. I felt incredibly incredibly thankful that I had the option.

Much much later, post epidural. You can see the happy little yellow thing on my shoulder at the end of the catheter. I was texting my Mom and Laura.

What followed only made me more grateful.

I don't remember time frames so much anymore. After the epidural both Ryan and I could get some sleep. So we napped through the morning. I dozed on and off all day, having worked through the night. We watched some episodes of Scrubs (funny watching it in the hospital). Ryan got some food.

I stalled at 5 cm for long enough the midwife had consulted the Maternal Fetal Medicine doc about starting pitocin. Since I was a VBAC, strengthening my contractions too much could result in an increased chance for uterine rupture. I think this was around noon? So they got all set up to put in an internal monitor and then start Pitocin, but when they checked me, I had advanced to 7 cm. We opted to not do the Pit at that point and I continued to labor. This is over 12 hours since my first contractions at 11pm. Can you imagine drug free that long? I'll tell you what... I can't. Actually, I can. Sounds like hell. Like literally, that must be what murderers and child molesters go through in hell.

So we carried on, I got really hungry. My feet swelled up to 4 times their usual size thanks to the fluids for my blood pressure with an epidural. I was a nine at a check sometime... probably around 3? I was mostly 10 later with just a tiny lip of cervix left. The midwife student worked with me doing some pushing to push that little bit up and over the baby's head.

My huge huge foot. Seriously! Is there an ankle on there somewhere?

Then I Rested and Descended. Which I believe from the description of natural child birth I've read that this is known as the "ring of fire". Much better with drugs. Oh glory glory hallelujah for epidurals!

My bag of drugs ran out on my epidural, but I told the nurse to wait since I was likely to push soon and would like to feel a bit more. Then it really wore off before I was pushing and I asked for it back! Aye aye aye!

Finally it was push time. I pushed with a mirror--what a view! :) I liked having it. It gave me that extra motivation right there at the end when her head was RIGHT THERE and I just HAD to get her out!

So... with Malcolm, I never pushed. I got to 8 cm before his emergency sectioning. What do I think of pushing? Holy crap! That's hard! I pushed for 40-45 minutes, which is fast for a first timer. Most take an average of like 2 hours. Every time that midwife told me to push harder! harder! I couldn't believe she thought there was anymore I could push! Seriously, I'm at the brink of my ability to channel energy down into pushing out this kid, and you want more? There is no more!!

It was exhausting work. Like I said, I was motivated by that head peeking out so close! So with the rest of everything I had, she came out. If you think babies are delicate, you should watch in a mirror as a practitioner pushes that baby downward and cranks it around so those shoulders could come out in one big woosh!
and then there she was! all purple and bloody and gooey on my belly. Her face was up and she looked right at me.

Oh yeah, there's some gore for you!

I was relieved and happy and amazed. And beat.

One last little push while they were cleaning her off for the placenta (yup, watched that in the mirror too), and then came an even longer ordeal.

They brought her over to me and we had a little skin to skin time. It was a nice distraction from the pain going on down below. My nurse nicely hit my epidural button a few more times for me as I winced and grimaced my way through the midwife and the student stitching me up. I had 3 grade 2 tears in various places. Plus some other random spots that needed a stitch here and there. I lost quite a bit of blood. My Hematocrit was 26 post partum the next day! (In the ICU we transfuse blood at 22. Normal is 35.) (Sorry, still too gory?)

Skin to skin

By the time the stitching was done, I was practically done with the amount of time they make you hang out in Labor and Delivery before heading to Post Partum. I had an awkward slide over to a wheelchair, and then we headed to our room.

17 hours after those first contractions, and we had our baby girl. So no, I didn't go "natural". And I'm not sorry. Bless modern medicine for both my babies. After that amount of time laboring through contractions, I wouldn't have had the strength to push. How did women do it all these centuries? They were stronger than I. (It's no wonder there are horror stories of women being drugged and their babies pulled from their bodies with forceps. Hello! They were freaking exhausted and probably hysterical. I would be. --those stories are abundant in all "natural birth" literature. Along with some other out of date "horrors of hospital births".)

That evening, my parents came with Malcolm. Mal seemed to have a hard time with this whole, visiting mommy in the hospital where she works, and where we've gone to the doctor for mommy, and then here she is in bed like a sick person... He was just quiet and shy and seemed a bit overwhelmed. So meeting baby sister, he looked at her. He pointed out her eyes and nose. Then proceeded to ignore her and be indifferent to her. Which I kind of expected. He's been that way with meeting other babies. Like, "yeah, that's nice... who's got a puzzle to play with?"

Since then, he's been much more interested in Elliot. He talks to her when she's awake and likes to pat her head and give her her binky. He seems to really like her. It makes me happy to see.

My dad is so tenderhearted. He gets so weepy with his grand babies.

Love this one of my mom and Elle.

First meeting!

And then how he felt after.

We also had JaNel, Kevin, VoNique, and Jared visit us that night too.

The next day, Laura and Andrew came. Then Jordan and MiQuelle, and Mike and Brenna brought Malcolm over again too. I tried to get pictures of everyone holding Elle, but missed most of them it seems.

Meeting Auntie Laura, who she's named after.

And that's it! The story of Elliot's arrival!

If you're still with me here a the end, thanks for staying. Sorry for the gore and the over exposure. But by now, if you're experienced with my blogging, you should have known what you were in for. ;)