Sing Me to Heaven

I sing to Malcolm a lot. (a LOT.) He's not old enough to protest, and I think he even enjoys it.
and anyone who enjoys my singing is sadly going to get many an encore. :)

I sing him anything really, but it's usually a mix of lullabies, disney music, kids silly songs, and primary music. It's been fun and refreshing to try to remember the words to the songs I liked as a kid.



Today, I was a grumpy mom. My sleep was cut short at bad intervals last night. Not that Malcolm wasn't doing his usual fantastically awesome runs of 4-5 hours, but that it seemed every time he was up I was in my deepest, hardest to get out of sleep. Not only that, but I've been pity partying it up--as my previous posts can attest.

I said to Ryan as he was kissing me good-bye that I didn't want to be the mom today. "Can you be the mom today instead?"
"Okay! You gonna go to work for me?"
"I'd hate your job."
"Then I guess you better be the mom."

So I grugingly stayed home and when malcolm fell asleep for his morning nap, I crashed too.

Upon waking up, a random--no not random--probably inspiration. No. Definitely inspired-- primary song popped into my head.

This one:

My life is a gift, my life has a plan.
My life has a purpose, in heaven it began.
My choice was to come to this lovely home on Earth,
To seek for God's light to direct me from birth.

I will follow God's Plan for me,
Holding fast to his words and his love.
I will work, and I will pray.
I will always walk in his way.
Then I will be happy on Earth, and in my home above.

It was a sweet and simple reminder that my life is a gift and has a plan. and that I know that it's a part of that plan that I be the mom. Malcolm's mom.
I was especially struck with the lyric: "My choice was to come to this lovely home on Earth." That it was my choice. I chose this.

And I still do.

It Was Going To Be Awesome...

Mal and I don't leave the house a lot. We go on walks in the stroller, and occasional quick trips to the store. But I like to have help when I go out for longer periods. I just feel awful when Mal's screaming in the back seat and I can't do anything!

So imagine my joy when today I strapped him in his seat for a quick run to the store, and he almost immediately fell asleep and was seemingly so contented.

Off we went, without a hitch--I may go to more than one store!--I thought with a grin. Then I look down.
I look back.
I look everywhere!
Where's my bag?

Sigh... of course. The one time it's going to be a nice trip to the store with a happy Malcolm, and I forget my freaking wallet!!

And of course, I'm one block away from my destination, but they close in 1/2 hour!!

Dang you murphy and your laws!




How do people travel with kids? I mean like overnight trips? Is there a book about that? :)

Hanging with Dad

Not a Fashionista

Know what sucks?

clothes. and not fitting in them.

I lost a whopping 30 lbs in the first two weeks, but have plateaued. I still need to lose 20 more lbs to get to where I was pre-pregnancy. At first, I was super excited to wear something other than the 6 same maternity shirts. But quickly my options are now about 5 little bit bigger, doesn't show the rolls over my pants, shirts. (I was surprised actually, when I was trying on my old clothes, to realize how freaking tiny I really was! It's sad that I'd still look in the mirror and feel like I wanted to be just a bit smaller. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.)

I know it'll take plenty of time to get all those 20 lbs off. So I'd really like some more clothes that I feel attractive in to last me til I do.

My mom gets the catalogs from Boden. I was looking at it the other day, and if I could, I would totally buy every piece in that thing. But HOLY PRICES BATMAN! I love the style and the fact that everything is so modest! It's cuz it's from Britain and it's just too cold there to go without your clothes! :)

But then I also think, why does it matter? No one sees me anyway. What I should do is just cease looking into mirrors.

Obviously, I have nothing important to blog about these days. Just my baby and silently mourning my body that was. I try not to be sad about it, because I knew it would happen. I also know I'll be able to work it back into shape, and be fine. But I wasn't prepared for the state of my skin. The stretch marks (Oh the stretch marks!!!) are so much worse than I ever expected. But when you gain 50 lbs in 9 months and hold a bathtub's worth of water in your tissues, and combine that with genetics for non-stretchy skin, what else is going to happen? I officially will be wearing "mom" swimsuits forever. Ones with skirts attached, most likely. long skirts.

Sigh... someday I will feel attractive again.

(I know I know I know, the stretch marks will fade, it's worth it to be a mom, blah blah blah... I know! But I can also mourn for a little while. No need to leave those comments for me this time.)

Four Weeks

Guess who's four weeks old already?

This little stud:

This is totally my new favorite picture of him. I actually caught what we call his "Mowgli look". He usually makes his best faces while falling asleep (including rolling his eyes back in his head to totally creep out daddy--so funny!), but they're coming out more and more during awake hours.

Here's one that makes Dad call him "popeye"

Here's the low down on 4 week old Malcolm:

• His motor skills are right on target. He can hold his head up pretty well now, and keep it there without totally flopping back down on your shoulder. It's still pretty wobbly, but the control is increasing. He can also track things with his eyes, though they have to be moving pretty slowly. And he can turn his head toward a sound.

• Malcolm's starting to find his voice. He's making little noises now that aren't just grunts and cries. I caught some on video, though it takes a bit for him to get going. (It's mostly for the grandparents. I personally greatly dislike this video because I have to hear myself talk. and not just talk--but speak mommy-ese. ew gross.)

• Malcolm hates tummy time, it only lasts about 5 minutes, but his stamina is increasing little by little. Bath time has improved though, thanks to a pointer from a friend about keeping him wrapped in a towel. Now he's calm and even almost happy in the bath, but screams with the shock of getting out.

• He likes books, and likes to be talked to as much as possible. Here he is being read to by Auntie Laura: (aw.......)
  

• Mal is an excellent sleeper for his age. Though it's not always consistent, he gets up only once a night. He has a feeding around 9-10pm, then again at 1-2 am, then he's usually up and awake for the day at 5:30-6:30 am. He occasionally does some awesome marathon sleeps like last night for 5 hours straight! But he also has nights where it's every 3 hours that he's up.
  

After a daytime nap:

His hands are always by his face, or clasped together on his chest. When he wakes up he stretches and looks like the picture above.

And that's really about it. We sure are enjoying his more alert and interactive-ness. It's still crazy to me that he's a real live person and that he's mine. I sure love him though, and motherhood is definitely improving. :) How could it not, with this sweetie?

Adjusting to Motherhood

Hurry quick! I have to type as fast as possible--I can hear a Certain Someone starting to stir...

Well, it's officially been a little over a week of being a full-time mom.
How's it been?
Well-- Challenging.

I told Mary when she came over to take pictures of Malcolm that I knew I wanted to be a mom, and I knew I wanted a baby, but this whole 24-7 thing is dang harder than it looks.

The first day Ryan went back to work I kept thinking to myself, "Is there something else I should be doing? What do I do with this kid all day?" I found myself relieved every time he was hungry because I knew what to do then! It was kind of weird to me that all I really have to do all day is feed, change, hold, and watch Malcolm. And I slept--whenever he did.

The second day was harder. I think I kept trying to put too much of my own agenda into the day's events.

That's been the biggest challenge I think. For over a year now, I haven't had to do anything I didn't want to do (I know, totally spoiled). I had to go to work--but I like my job--so it still doesn't count. I could go wherever I wanted, do what I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Now, I'm completely on someone else's schedule, and what someone else wants is always fulfilled first. It sounds totally selfish, but it's been a BIG adjustment for me!

By day three, it kind of peaked, and I was feeling a bit overwhelmed. Not only could I not seem to get anything done that I wanted to, I kept worrying that the things I was doing were causing damage--or more work for the future. Like rocking Malcolm to sleep.

So during a random internet search about the detriments of rocking newborns to sleep, I was on Babycenter.com. I stumbled across some play activities they suggest that are appropriate for the age of your baby. As I was reading about these playtime suggestions, I realized something: I wasn't just plain enjoying Malcolm anymore. I was just taking care of him and foolishly resenting him. Ever since then, I've found much more joy in being a mom. I spend much more time being glad I'm not supposed to be doing anything other than caring for my newborn baby. And just enjoying getting to know Malcolm and his particularities and his cues. It's been SOOO much better.

Now, like all parenting, I have my good days and bad days, and good hours and bad hours, but overall I think it's getting better. I have to keep reminding myself that he's only 3 weeks old, and that I've only been doing this for 1 week on my own. Nothing is routine or "normal" yet. But someday, it will be--or come somewhat close. Right?

Because We've Become One of Those Boring Lots-of-pics-of-my-kid Blogs

Air Guitar!

He makes tons of faces while resisting falling asleep. I keep thinking I want to catch a video of it, and even tried once, but it didn't turn out awesome.

It's becoming very apparent to me that I've got an obscene amount of pictures of this little dude sleeping...

Just after his first mommy given bath, and was also the first time I'd just laid him down to chill on the floor. (and that's a quilt from Great-Grandma in Alaska)

A sweet exerpt from the book I'm reading

(The long time married parents of the main character):

"Do you think there's any chance that Vanya's lack of letters to Ruthie means that he doesn't want to marry her after all?"
"No," said Poitr. "I think he isn't thinking about her. He's thinking about his work."
"And when you're working, you don't love me?" asked Esther.
"We're married," he said, "and you're here."
"And if you were in Russia like Vanya, you wouldn't write to me either?"
He thought for just a moment. "I wouldn't go without you," he finally said.
"Very carefully chosen words, " she said.
"I wouldn't be without you," he repeated. "Without you, I wouldn't be."
She kissed him and then washed the dishes as he returned to reading and grading student papers.


From Enchantment, By Orson Scott Card.

Someone's 30!!!

I had planned to make it a big deal, and throw a big party... But then Malcolm was born and it turned out harder than I thought.

Ryan didn't want anything big anyway. He keeps saying, "It's just one more day closer to dying."

Ah, so optimistic.

So, in commemoration for his birthday:

Happy One More Day Closer To...

:)

Transformers... More Than Meets The Eye

So for a while, Ryan and I have noticed a patch of grass in our backyard that was turning brown. We've had some sprinkler issues, so we just thought it wasn't getting watered well enough. But then Ryan and his dad noticed that it smelled oily, and that there was a dead tree branch on our apple tree too.

Dead branch:

Apparently, the transformer in our backyard has been leaking oil that killed our grass and our tree branch. Ryan called the power company and they sent a guy out that evening. The next morning a whole crew showed up with their trucks and the hazardous materials guys.

They said when they find this happening, it's an emergency and they have to take care of it asap. So our neighbors didn't get any notice that their power was turning off, but luckily they only had it off for about 1 hr while they replaced the transformer.

The old transformer, the grass, and the tree branch all went in plastic bags to be tested.
They said they were surprised the transformer hadn't blown-- it had no oil in it at all.

New one:

Ryan and his dad sat out on the patio and watched the whole thing. The guys were really nice and kept us informed and were very helpful. It was impressive to me how pleasant and great a job they did. Yay power company.

Now we have a bare patch of dirt with grass seeds on it. I doubt it'll grow very well with this heat, even if we can keep it as watered as we need to. I bet those little seeds are just cooking out in that sun.

Oh well, it's not like we had very nice sod out there anyway... :)

Two Weeks

On Aug. 12, 2011, Malcolm was 2 weeks old! Here's his two week photos: (man I wish I had a nice camera...)

Redman

On Saturday night, we visited Mary and Vince at their campsite up Big Cottonwood at Redman Campground. It was nice to get out in some nature and visit our friends. They were even nice enough to share their hotdog buns and banana boats:

I know it looks like a mess, but it's very tasty!

The boys finding stuff to burn

Malcolm was pretty well behaved, and looked so cute in his little cargo pants and hoodie and hat:

Thanks for the invite Ovesons! Hope your night wasn't too rainy! We thought about you when it started to get stormy after we got home.

Malcolm Takes a Bottle

I finally had enough pumped milk to have Ryan feed Malcolm a bottle. He took it without any problems and has since been fed by Ryan 3 more times.

Aren't they cute?

Grandma and Grandpa Green come to visit

We spent all last week with Ryan's parent's and his sister, Lindsay. It was so nice to have them come. We don't get to see them often enough being so far away from Alaska and all. It was tons of fun and a HUGE help! We didn't do much touristy stuff--me especially, thanks to the Pneumonia, but we still enjoyed each other's company immensely.

Julie and Lindsay came first, Brad flew into Boise to see his mom and drive down with her a day after. It was Malcolm's first record long sleep of 5 hours thanks to being held almost all night long by Ryan's mom. Ry and I kept waking up wondering where Malcolm was, and Lindsay kept shooing us back to bed. Eventually I did make them hand him over, I didn't want him to go longer than 5 hours without eating.

Brad got in in the evening the next day and we went to Babies R Us for a swing. Malcolm loves his swing, and so do I.

It's hard to remember all the stuff we did, mostly, we just hung out at home. One day, everyone else took Malcolm on a walk while I slept:

Mal enjoyed lots of loves from everyone. Though I realize now I missed pictures of everyone holding him! The tiredness sucks the picture-happy-ness out of me. :)

lets see, What else did we do? We ate out for lunch a bunch of times. We went to Ikea--there's not one of those in Anchorage. Lindsay went home on Tuesday. Ryan and his parents hiked Ensign Peak, then we went on a drive to Antelope Island:

Brad and Julie went out to the lake to get the full experience of the brine flies and such. :) We stayed behind in a pavilion to keep Mal out of the sun.

And he was hungry:

Antelope Island visitor center:

It was covered by these birds and their nests:

We went out for ice cream, and we admired this little face:

We took him on lots of car rides:

Oh yea! and Ryan took his dad out for a scoot on my scooter:

I finally figured out how to put Malcolm in my sling:

Malcolm loves to have his hands up by his face. He often holds onto his binky. (or your hand holding the binky in his mouth)

Milk drunk:

It's Ryan's birthday tomorrow, so we also had some birthday celebrations while his parent's were here:

Grandma Carole came to visit:
And we ate out... a lot:
Did I already say it was nice to have them come? Cuz it really was. We thoroughly enjoyed it. It was funny to see how similar Ryan and his dad's senses of humor are. One would crack a joke and the other would just keep going with it, and then the other would add even more... it was obnoxious. :)
Their visit also helped to remind me that it's nice to have such nice summers here in Utah. Every time we would go outside, Brad and Julie would say things like, "It's so nice out here" while I was thinking something more like, "Dude, it's wicked hot." I hadn't realized I'd spent so little time outside this year either.

Hopefully we'll see the Green's again soon, our visits are always too few and far between. Thanks for all the fun, guys!