Update

I went for an ultrasound a week ago.  The hemorrhage is smaller but not gone, so I am still on my restrictions of no lifting.  When I went to the Dr. before I never updated what she told me.  Take it easy means more than just no lifting.  I can not do laundry or vacuum and no pushing or pulling.  That takes away just about every thing you do.  My family and the ward has really been taking care of me.  Ryan has been working over 80 hours every week, so he isn't around much.  Brynlee is a big helper, but it has brought out the terrible twos in Presley!  It's nice when I can use reverse psychology to get Presley to help and be a big girl though.  "Me do it"  is a common phrase uttered by Presley!  Still, I am extremely lucky that my girls are so good and I'm getting extra looks at my baby.  The last ultrasound was amazing!  My little baby was all over the place moving around kicking it's little legs.  I can't feel it yet, so it was so cute to see my little mover.  The crazy part was that I hadn't eaten in a while, I didn't have any treats or anything.  Just water.  So this baby may just be super active on it's own!
I am 14 weeks now and my next ultrasound I will be 18 weeks, so hopefully I will be able to see the gender if it co-operates.  :)  Also at the last ultrasound the baby's heart beat was 165, so it is still really fast.  It will be nice to finally know what we are having.  I will be ecstatic either way, but it will be nice to start getting ready, or just relax because I have everything already for a girl.

 We always have a blast at our family Easter egg hunt at my Aunt Karla's house.  My girls had so much fun and it was a beautiful day this year!

 We also do a grown up egg hunt and their is always a Golden and Silver egg worth money.  My Brother Cameron was the lucky winner of the Golden egg this year!  I think it was $116!  That is a good a payday.

 Easter morning the girls were so excited to find eggs hidden in the front room and to search their Easter baskets.  They both got a scooter and were in heaven!

 I don't know how these got out of order, but Brynlee was so excited about how much candy she got!

 Presley posed in her Easter dress, but Brynlee just wanted to wear a different dress.  So she didn't want her picture taken.  Drama may come a little too early with girls.

Here are my bucket head girls.  Presley thought she was pretty dang funny.

Hemorrhage

So I did a little research on what the Dr. said I had.  She said it was serious but not uncommon and it can heal if I "take it easy"  with no lifting and pelvic rest.  As I researched it I got a little more scarred.  It is called a "retro placental hemorrhage".  It means that their is an artery that has ruptured on my placenta and if it grows it can separate the placenta from my uterus and cause a miscarriage.  I get to go to the Dr. again tomorrow and I have lots and lots of questions to ask her.  Because what exactly is "take it easy".  I have still been doing a little, but making sure not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk.  I hope that is okay, but I will hopefully know more tomorrow.  I have not been lifting Presley, but I have let her climb up and sit on my lap.  Poor Ryan is doing most everything and Brynlee has been a big helper.  So if you could put us back in your prayers that this will heal on it's own and our baby will be safe and grow and be a healthy baby.

Quite a journey

We have know for a few weeks now how many babies we are getting.  Lots close to us already know as well, but I just needed to process it.  I had this dream of a family with four children, so I just needed to get use to the new reality.  We are having one baby.  We are extremely blessed and we are so excited.  I just for some reason in my head really believed I would get twins.  In no way am I ungrateful, I just had a dream and I also just felt like I had to morn the other embryos that didn't make it.  I know it is a little weird, but you just might have to be in my shoes to really understand how you feel when you have zero control over this stuff.

We had gotten the six eggs and all six fertilized.  We put in three and the other three grew out in a petri dish to see if they could get to the freezing stage.  Unfortunately they did not make it.  So this is our very last time doing invitro. It just really showed us what a miracle it is for these little eggs to get to become a baby.  My egg quality just wasn't good enough.  I had one excellent egg.  Zero good.  Three fair and two poor eggs.  So I'm betting the only one that took was the excellent one.  So we know we are so lucky to have gotten that excellent egg.

This last week has been hard.  On Wednesday I decided to clean the fish tank at work.  I siphon the water out of the tank into a bucket and then dump the water.  It is a 25 gallon tank and my bucket was 5 gallon, so I had to transfer water a few times, I didn't feel it all the way.  It was heavy, but not too bad.  Then I had to make a ton of trips to fill it back up with clean water.  It took me an hour.  After I was done I started to really hurt on my left side.  By the time I left work I was really hurting.  I called my sister in law because she works for my OB.  She thought it could just be my intestines.  The next day I was still hurting so I felt I needed to call my OB.  They were also concerned and wanted me to get a ultrasound.  
The ultrasound was exciting because I got to see my baby again and see the little heart beating.  It was beating at 169.  I think that's how fast my girls were, so maybe it's a girl...(just a wives tale I know).
The nurse called to tell me that they saw a healthy baby who is right on track, but they also saw that I was bleeding behind my uterus.  They said it would be okay as long as I take it easy.  The bad news is I'm on a strict no lifting for a whole month!  I have a two year old!  This is going to be hard.  They said it will heal on it's own if I do not lift and I take it easy.  They did not say the word bed rest, and I didn't bring up I work and they didn't ask, so I'm assuming that I can still work but just take it really easy at work too.  They think this is unrelated to the pain on my left side.  They think I just pulled a muscle.  It hurts really bad, I hope it heals fast, cause it is torturous to get up and down.  I feel really old!  :-)  In a month I will get another ultrasound to see if the bleeding has stopped.  If it has not, I will still be on the no lifting.  I don't want that.
The other really bad thing is that Ryan has just entered his busy season so he will not be able to help me out more.  We may just have a messy house for a month.  Oh well, this baby is worth it.  We have prayed for this baby for a very long time and we will make it work to get this baby here.

Good news

Sorry I haven't updated my blog.  I told everyone on Facebook and was so busy that I forgot to update here as well.  I went in one week after the embryo transfer and was very disappointed to have a negative test result, because I did know that soon with Presley.  Anything over a 10 is positive and I was at 6.9   So then I went a week later for the actual test and I was so excited to have my sister in law call from my Dr. office to tell me the number jumped to 223.2!!!  That is a resounding YES!!  We are feeling so blessed and happy that our prayers have been answered.  I am also so excited to go next week to see how many we are pregnant with.  The huge number spike does not tell us how many we are pregnant with.  We will do an ultrasound to see how many heartbeats we see.  I think it will just be one, but I have been very hunger and exhausted so some of my friends think it will be two.  I am just so excited that it worked.
Brynlee is also really excited.  She keeps telling me she wants a boy, but honestly I don't really care.  I am just so greatful that our dreams of a bigger family are coming true.
This last week I had a friend/ neighbor lose one of her babies. (She had two boys then twin boys nine months ago) They think he smothered in his blankets at night.  It broke my heart for their family to have to go through such a horrible loss.  It was the hardest viewing I have ever been to in my life.  They are such a wonderful family and I have been keeping them in my prayers every night.  I know this is something that you can't get over, you just have to live with it.  I have been checking on my girls a little more every night.  Such a sad tragedy for their family.  I pray I will never know that feeling.  I cry so much just thinking about it.  Children are such a precious gift.  I love my girls so much and I am so grateful to get to carry another child into this world.  I thank Heavenly Father daily for my family and this new pregnancy.

Transfer Day!

Today was such an exciting day!  We talked to the Dr. before the transfer and he explained the ratings of the embryos and what he recommends.  We got six eggs and all six fertilized, but they all end up differently.  The rating scale they have is: Excellent, good, fair and poor.  When we did Presley we put in three, one was good and two were fair.  Today we had one that was excellent, three were fair and two were poor.  Two of the fair were better than the third.  So we decided we would do the Excellent one and two of the fair.  The other three will stay in culture for three more days.  If they last we can freeze them and use them at a latter date.  The Dr. really does not think they will make it, but of course it is worth a try.
He also told us how the Egyptians are really good at InVitro technology and that over a year ago they starting putting just a little of the HCG hormone inside the uterus about 5 minutes before the transfer because all the embryos have a little HCG in the fluid around them.  They thought that it may help with the process.  They found in a study of 60 women that it did help 15% more often on the day three transfer, but did not notice a difference on day 5.  So the clinic I go to has also been trying for the last year on 90 women and had the same results, so he recommended we do the same since it was a day three transfer.  So of course anything to increase our chances I am for, so we also did that today.  I'm feeling really good about the whole process and I am so anxious to find out if it worked and if it does how many babies.  :)
So now we just wait...for two weeks!!!  So keep praying for us!
Thanks so much we can feel all the love and support from you all.

Fertilization...

Today the nurse called me to tell me how many eggs fertilized.  That was very hopeful to me, since it was the Dr. who calls when it is bad news.  She said she had really surprising news.  The Dr. was very surprised to see that all six eggs were mature and even more to see that all six fertilized.  WOW!  Very surprising news!  So we will wait till Monday to put the eggs back in.  By then we will see the quality of each egg and be able to determine which eggs to put back in.  This will also require lots of prayers to know what to do.  I am so grateful to have this choice placed before me instead of last time when I had nothing and just felt helpless and hopeless.  So thanks for all the prayers, miracles are happening.  The Doctor says that this never happens where he saw only two were ready and none of the others and we couldn't wait for the others to mature, but he will take it.  So will we!  
With Presley we got 5 eggs.  One mutated and one was not mature.  Three fertilized, so we put in all three because one was good quality and two were fair quality.  So I am hoping for an easy choice and a baby or two.  :)  Keep those prayers coming for our family.  We really appreciate all the love and support everyone is showing us.  Thanks you all so much we do need all the help we can get in this situation.

Sledding

I just found this picture and wanted to post.  We took the girls sledding this winter and they loved it!  They have the best Daddy who loves to take them out to have a good time.  He will go up and down as many times as they want.  Then is nice enough to pull them up the hill again.

Egg Retrieval

Today was a big day!  Ryan and I went to Utah to have the egg retrieval done.  The Dr. expected to get two mature eggs from all our ultrasounds and blood work done previously.  He did however get six eggs, but told us that most likely only two will be mature enough to be used.  I was glad that they did get six though.  They will do ICSY on all of the eggs to fertilize them by inserting a sperm into each egg.  They will call us tomorrow and tell us how many fertilize and how they look.  (Just because they put a sperm into an egg doesn't mean it will fertilize.  The Dr. told us the sperm and egg may not like each other and not fertilize.)
We are so excited but still praying that all goes well.  We still need at least one egg to be perfect and implant and become our newest member of our family.
So happy we are on this journey and excited about our future.

Getting closer...

I have been giving myself shots every night and I have been driving back and forth to Utah for blood work and ultrasounds with the Dr.  On Saturday he saw 6 follicles and I was excited.  By Monday he told me that only two would be ready in time.  He went up on my meds as well.  Today he said a third follicle might be in the running, but then when he measured he said he didn't think it would have a mature egg inside.  He said with me this is going to be as good as we can get, but to remember we want quality over quantity.  So we need lots of prayers that out of these two eggs at least one will work out.
I get to give myself the trigger shot tonight at midnight, then on Friday we will go do the egg retrieval.  I am so excited and very hopeful it will all work out.

InVitro, another chance...

Ryan and I went to talk to the Dr. a couple of weeks ago and got news we were not expecting.  My heart was broken in two.  I left the Dr. office not knowing if we could ever have another child other than adoption.  My dream of being pregnant was on the fence.  The Dr. did more blood work on me and I had to wait until the next day for the news.  It was so hard and I did a lot of time on my knees.  The Dr. called with some hopeful news that all hope wasn't lost just yet.  I was so grateful and cried tears of joy just to have they hope again.
I did have to have my cysts drained again and then wait for my next cycle to start.  Tuesday was the big day after my cycle started and I got to go see if my cysts were still gone after having them drained, and I was so happy to see they were gone!  So I got to start the medicine last night!  I am so hopeful that we can have another miracle baby.  So keep those prayers coming our way we need all the help we can get.

Presley Turns 2!

Wow!  Can you believe that my little girl is Two?  The last two years have flown by with this little cutie in our lives.  She has been such a blessing to have in our family.  It was no easy picnic to get her here.  We went through a lot of ups and downs, but it was worth it.
Presley is such a big talker right now.  We have watched her vocabulary just soar the last two months.  I love to hear her say I love you and ask me questions.
Right now her favorite thing is to read books and sing songs and be anywhere mom is.  I love having a mommies girl, it is fun.  
She is potty training and is doing great!  I think when I can really concentrate on it and have invitro  behind us that she will be 100% potty trained.
My little girl loves babies and pretend feeding them.

She also loves markers, not crayons!  If she is quite for too long, you know she is hiding with a marker in her hand or pooping. 
She loves horses and for her birthday I found a horse in a purse that she was so excited for.  Presley doesn't really care for cake, so I just got cupcakes for her birthday and she took a minute to blow out the candle.
I love my little girl so much and we are so fortunate that invitro worked for our family.
 

Big day!

Tomorrow we get to go th Utah to hopefully start Invito!  I am scared & excited.  It has been such a long journey filled w too many ups and downs.  The other two times we did low stimulation invito.  This time it is regular invito.  This will require more medicine & more monitoring by the Dr.  It should also give us more eggs to hope for better results & hopefully a healthy baby in the end.  We would be greatful for any extra prayers you want to send our way.  I know it will only work with Heavenly Fathers help!

Update

So many things have happened since I last updated my blog.  I have been on a roller-coaster ride of emotions with our quest to add to our family.  InVitro has had many complications.  I had a cyst that would not go away.  I went from month to month not knowing if it would go away for us to do invitro.  It became very painful and emotionally draining.  In September the Dr. decided we need to try draining the cyst.  In October I was finally given the go a head to do Invitro.  I started all the medicine.  I had a wonderful feeling about it.  It felt like it was finally going to happen.  On October 30th Ryan and I went to Utah for them to harvest the eggs.  Their were three.  We were so excited.  On Halloween on was on pins and needles just waiting to hear back from the nurse to see how many fertilized and to find out if I would go back on Thursday or Friday to have the eggs implanted.  The day felt extremely long.  At 3:00p.m. I still hadn't heard anything.  I called and left a message.  Fifteen minutes later I finally got the call.  I was still at work so I ran into the hall to take it.  As soon as I heard the Dr.'s voice, I was worried.  I ran outside of the building to hear him.  I asked if none of the eggs fertilized, he said no the opposite.  All three fertilized, the problem was that all three fertilized with two sperm. I thought that was impossible so I was confused.  I still didn't understand.  The Dr. was very sympathetic  and explained that all my eggs were unusable.  They contain too many DNA, and that would result in a cancer and that they would never put anything like that inside me.  
I was completely numb.  I was trying to register that my dream was over.  Ryan had told me we would never do this again, this was our last chance.  I just wanted to run and hide.  I grabbed my kids and hurried home.  Ryan immediately left work to be with me.  My girls looked so worried and I could barely tell Brynlee what was wrong.  She was so sweet and told me she would hold me on the couch.
When I got home and ran to finally break down completely in my room.  A few minutes later I hear my door bell.  I also hear the garage.  When I came up front to see what was going on, my nieces and nephew were here to trick or treat.
I realized, I was going to have to pull myself together for my kids.  My daughter Brynlee was so excited to go trick or treating.  So maybe it was a blessing it happened on Halloween.  I had to get out of my pity party and be a mom to my two girls.  I was on the verge of tears all night and I told my boss I had to take off work the rest of the week.
The next day I called and set up an appointment to talk with the Dr.  He was incredible.  He had us in on Friday so we could discuss our options.  He was completely shocked this happened to us, but explained  a lot of things to us that we didn't know about fertility.  We do get to try again. This next time we will do it with their help of inserting each egg with one sperm.  I may get to start in December if my cyst doesn't come back.  I am very hopeful.  I feel like this is the path we should be on.  I am grateful for my two beautiful girls, but I don't feel like we are complete yet.  This is a heart wrenching path to be on, but every time I look at Presley I think about how we could have never had her with out invitro and Heavenly Father.  So I will keep praying that all works out and we can add another child to our family.
I know this was a really long post, but sometimes it is easier for me to get out the whole story, so thanks for letting me ramble on and on.

Family Pictures of 2012

In Vitro

I am such a jumble of emotion!!!  Tomorrow I head down to Utah to meet with the Dr. and start my meds if all the blood work and ultrasound look good.  I am super excited, but Ryan is in Arizona right now, So I am also a wreck!  I wish he was here to go with me, but it fell during his Referee Camp that he has been planning forever.  He will be back in time for his contribution. (he he) I just feel so many different emotions.  I pray all goes smoothly and according to plan and that we end up with another beautiful baby to add to our family.  Any and all prayers welcome!

I'm off to bed, I have to be up super early for my appointment.

These are my precious little girls!
  I am so lucky to be their Mom.  I love that they love each other and want to cuddle each other too.  We have not had the most conventional way of getting our family.  Presley is our InVitro baby and it took us three years in the begging to get Brynlee.  We have very limited time to try again before I have to have a hysterectomy.

So the time has come where we need every single prayer we can get to help us get another baby with the help of InVitro again.

I am so excited!!!  I have already been on birth control to get me into the cycle the Dr. wants me to be in for InVitro.  So I stop the birth control on Monday and go see the Dr. on Friday to have an ultrasound and blood work done.  If all looks good then I get to start my very expensive Medicines that day!  Then we would go back the following Friday to see if the medicine is doing what the Dr. wants.  Then I would go the following Tuesday for the Dr. to retrieve my eggs and have Ryan fertilize them. (hehe.  the most romantic part.(-;lol)  Then they watch the eggs and see which day would be the best to put them back inside.

With Presley we retrieved 5eggs, 4 were mature, only 3 fertilized.  So I put in all three and we only got Preslsey.  I am really hoping for similar results, but really wouldn't mind twins.  I hope that doesn't make me greedy,  I just have always wanted at least 4 children, and twins would get me to my goal of a good size family.  In all reality I just really want it to work and for us to have another child to add to our family.  

So, like I said before, we really need lots of prayers send our way.  I felt everyone's love and support when we did this with Presley.

Happy 1st Birthday Presley!!!

Our cute little Presley turned 1 can you believe it!!! It feels as if the year flew by watching her grow and explore everything. I think time went slower before I had children, now it just goes by so quickly. I love this picture! She was so excited to explore without anyone saying "no". ;-) She really didn't get too dirty though.
Presley is walking like a champ, says: mama, dada, sissy, hi and she signs "all done". She also loves to squawk, shake her head no and blow on her hand to make noises. She walks so good and can practically run everywhere now. She has also developed and new skill of climbing on everything!
We are so lucky to have In Vitro work for our family! I knew we had more to come. She is so much fun and we are truly blessed to be her parents.
We love you Presley!!!

Preschool Christmas Program

Every year my class and the Kindergarten children do a Christmas program for their parents at Melaleuca. This year was very special because my little Brynlee is now in my class. It was so much fun to have her perform with my class. She loves to sing and we are always singing everywhere we go. Ryan and his parents came to watch. I'm glad Ryan filmed it so I could watch Brynlee later because I had to lead both classes so I didn't get to just watch her. She did a great job. I love that I get to be my daughter's teacher this year. I'm also glad that she will get to have others as well, because she does try to get away with things. ;-) I can hardly believe she is already 4 1/2! Time is flying by. She looks so big in these pictures.

Brynlee's Dance Recital

Brynlee got another new dance teacher this year. I was really impressed, last years girl was not on the ball. Bryn had fun both times though. She is getting so big and it is so fun to see all that she has learned. She is such a social butterfly. She isn't shy at all for this kind of stuff. I hope she keeps that quality. So many of us worry what others think and are afraid to show what they can do. I hope she continues to be herself. I think she is perfect. :)

Merry Christmas!

Presley didn't really know what to think of all of this, but she did like her new toy. Brynlee was in heaven. I have two very spoiled girls. I'm sure I'm not the only one who went a little crazy for Christmas. Brynlee was very excited to get her "laptop" a cheep princess version and "real phone" vtech had a cell phone that has lots of little buttons and does all kinds of things that makes her think it is real. Love that they were both inexpensive so I could get them lots of clothes too. :)

11 Months Old!

I can hardly believe that my little girl is already 11 months old! She is growing so fast and just wants to be big like her sister. She walks so good everywhere and will most likely be running by the time she reaches one year! She has been such a huge blessing to our family and we had so much fun watching her enjoy time with cousins this weekend and her first Christmas!

Summers Granddaughters

Christmas Day all five granddaughters. Peighton, Ellee, Brynlee, Presley and Jaiden.

11-11-11

This was the date of Presley's first real adventure in walking. It is to bad I do not know how to share the video on my blog. I did however put it on my facebook if you are my friend you can go on my wall and see it. She is 9 months and two weeks and walking!!!

Happy Halloween!

We all dressed up this year. Ryan usually does not participate, so he surprised me this year. It is amazing what Daddies do for their little girls! ;-)
Ryan was a blind Referee, I was Sue from Glee, Bryn was Rapunzel and Presley was just cute in a Halloween outfit because it was too cold for her to wear her real costume.
We had a blast as usual.