Monday, August 29, 2005

Sore

in the throat.

Must be all that mooncakes, chocolates and triple choc fudge icecream. Plus many worries at the back of my mind.

Things happening at home are making me reconsider my choice to go overseas for my attachment.

Would my tears transpass the distance? Will she know that I am weeping for her?

My heart is breaking.

I wish i can fly home now.

dreamy angel at 10:36 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Unreal

I cant believe I am awake at 7.30am when my classes only start at 9am.. =<
Tell me again why cant I make tuna with lettuce sandwiches the night before?
Yea yea.. its to do with soggy n irrelevant stuff right? *sigh* Gonna make sure I rem to get margarine this weekend.. =<

A glance at my msn messenger confirms that no freaking one is awake at the same spiritual plane as me.. I guess sometimes solitude is good. Things hardly annoy you unless you are sadistic and deliberately wreak havoc in ur life.

Food for thought.

Life is too complicated. Or rather people make it complicated. relationships are what the dictionary defines it:
relationship n. : 1. an emotional attachment between individuals . 2. the condition or fact of being related; connection or association.

And that is how I treat all my relationships. An emotional attachment. You are my friend because I like you and trust you. You are my close friend because I like you even more. You are my boyfriend because I like you more than any friend. Not because I can gain from you or take advantage of you.

I have nv been one to hide my displeasure just to look like the good one. If I dont like someone, the person usually knows it if he/she tries to approach me. I wont be rude, but I wont be overtly friendly. All he/she will get is cool politeness. Nothing more, nothing less.

*sigh*

But I know my simplistic view of relationships have and will continue to cost me. Because the world is not simple.

The world is complicated.

dreamy angel at 7:43 AM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Close Shave

Almost lost my precious hp this afternoon..It was just this close to kissing goodbye. Unbelievable. Gonna lose sleep over it tonight I bet.

Dropped it as I got up from the chair at Med building comp lab. It was time for lecture you see. which explains my sudden rush out of the lecture theatre halfway. I was just trying to relocate my beloved phone. =>

School is more horrible than usual.

Somehow it feels diff watching House at home, albeit lying on a much more comfortable sofa. Weds night was always the girls chilling out at basement lounge watching House n indulging in sinfully rich chocolate-coated something. =P No more corny jokes and gleeful anticipation of the Big Ad. Weds nite will always remain my fav nite, just like the girls&memories will always remain in my heart.

dreamy angel at 11:35 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Monday, August 22, 2005

Disappointment or Somewhat

Roused from my deep sleep by an irritating alarm that brriiiinnngg endlessly. I guess thats what alarms are for. But still. >_< Dragged my lazy bum to the lecture theatre that seems so foreign now.. only to discover, after 45 mins, that the lecturer had no intention of appearing, let alone share some words of wisdom. I guess we arent the only ones who get bitten by the lazy bug.

At least have the decency to let us noe in advance right? Even if its a sick leave, someone from the office downstairs can jolly well take the stairs n inform the poor, hopeful students. Right? One more reason why I think Aussies are lazy pple. *sigh*

Think I m going crazy. Have 3 assignments due within these two weeks. They must think we are multitalented,multitasked, multi-everything with no social life students. OR they prob want us to end up like them. Yes, that was very vicious of me. But dont blame me for showing my fangs when you try to work me to death?! =<

Looking forward to a nice lunch with the girls later. Work comes after lunch n chats, for sure. =P

dreamy angel at 11:40 AM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Closure

My exciting 6 weeks in Geelong has unfortunately ended with the last feedback yest. Can you feel my overwhelming sadness? =P kekeke..

To be honest, i really do felt a tinge of sadness as i packed my room and returned my room keys to the office and had my final walk down the long, musky-smelling corridor.. But I was so dead tired, i couldnt wait to get out of Geelong and return to my nice comfy firm bed in Melb.

Thank you all for coming yest <Vern, Gret, Wing, Jo, Ken and him>! I'm sorry I was a very hospitable host yest.. =P Hope you guys enjoyed the pancakes and our silly chat in Macs. hehe..Thank god Ken and Germ were kind enough to help transport my barang barangs in their car, leaving me with a moderately heavy backpack. Phew. Cant imagine the two of us lugging all my barang barang up n down Ryrie's St and Swanston's. >_<

Having a weekend packed with things to do doesnt seem very attractive to me right now.. all i wan to do is rest in bed and eat mooncakes. >_< But a person's got to do wat a person's got to do, right? *shrugs* At least i am having luncheon with Abby, Lili, Sin & Juni today..haven seen the girls for ages.. miss them! =>

ps: Wormie, our man-power did good yest! hehe.. =P

dreamy angel at 9:00 AM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Kekeke

Woohooo!! Exam is OVER!! no, i did make quite a few mistakes, like banging my patient's foot against a chair. *sigh* Not exactly the way i wanted my exam to start out with.. but oh well.

WAs really really nervous.. I could literally feel myself trembling inside. Doesnt help when Mark had on his famous intimidating look.

But its over now. and i m really happy cos a Pt i saw this morn is so absolutely wonderful n sweet! She has this incredibly irritable hip, had been to Alfred's and no diagnosis was made, and guess wat? she was sent home the very same day with just painkillers. >_<

Well, obviously the pain didnt go away and so she came to TGH this time. Xrays n MRI showed nothing and the doctors are baffled as to wat is causing her pain. So i saw her this morn. Observed and prodded around.. Struck me as more of a musculo prob, so i prodded more.. and Mark came n fiddled around as well. Did alot of soft tissue work and viola~! Her pain eased and it took alot more walking to aggravate it.. I'm so happy.. and very touched by her gesture afterward.

She was scheduled to come down to the gym in the afternoon and when she saw me and found out that i was going to have my exams soon, she gave me a ring. Her gaurdian angel ring.. to watch over me. She even put it on for me. I was so so touched.. Had already worked myself up into a nervous wreck and she must have seen it.. Her gesture, although didnt calm me down much, gave me hope.. and confidence.. a stranger whom i spent barely an hour with has faith in me. She knew i was going to pass. She leaves me speechless.

So after my exams, i went up to the ward to look for her and gave her a huge hug and, of cos, return her ring to her. And we started chatting. And suddenly, she said "dont worry if pple dont warm up to you at first because you are an asian. Be nice to them like the way you are and you will win them over." This lady never stop surprising me. And mind you, she is turning a ripe old age of 80 this dec.

I do believe the purpose of me coming here for my attachment is to meet this old lady. If i can choose again, whether to come to Geelong, i will still gladly endure these torturous 6 weeks to have this brief encounter with her.

Thank you Rose.

dreamy angel at 4:30 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

One Down, One More To Go

Case pres is over. The no. of times i stuttered during the entire 15 mins is ridiculously large!! OMG.. this time i didnt roll over my words as much as cardio case pres, but man.. my sentences were inproper, my words jumbled up.. Sigh.

Sometimes i really think I am my worst enemy.

Treatments today had a few hiccups but somehow i managed to smooth the rough edges. Maybe the stress from case pres act focussed my negative energies there and thus my treatments didnt go too badly. hmm.. But I am definitely hopeless with time management. Well, no one can fault my rapport with my patients but its eating up alot of my assessment time. Wonder how my exam will be like tomoro? I can already feel myself tensing up at the thought. No way I can be relaxed with MArk around. Altho he did smile at me once today. Must be pity smile. >_<

Feeling awfully exhausted now. and hungry. am entertaining the idea of taking an afternoon nap.. hehe.. =P Its getting more n more attractive by the min..

*yawnz*

dreamy angel at 4:22 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Poor Combination

Case pres and flu dont make the best of frens. I am already bearing the scars of the internal warring btw these two strong parties. So far, flu has been winning. Not very good for my case pres tomoro. =< Nor my exam on thurs.

Oh well.

Hopefully my running nose will stop by tomoro. Cant make a good impression if i am speaking through a wad of tissue half the time.. =<

Good luck to everyone for their exams!! =>

dreamy angel at 1:49 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

mmm..

I wan countdown fireworks too! >_<

dreamy angel at 8:43 AM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Saturday, August 06, 2005

A night to remember

千言万语, 一切净在不言中.

No words can adequately describe the joy and happiness i felt last night upon seeing the faces of all my frens gathering around the tables.

Touched beyond words.

Nothing beats exhaustion better than knowing that despite being busy and tired themseleves, every single one of ur frens made it a point to attend your surprise birthday party, to share this special day of yours. Even if they had something on, they still came to say happy birthday before they left.

All thanks to someone special. =>

All presents are so special.. so tailored to me.. none were bought without thought given to it.. Just looking at them and knowing how much thought and effort were put in made me want to hug everyone tightly.

THANK YOU EVERYONE!! *hugs*

dreamy angel at 2:35 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Friday, August 05, 2005

Silence

Thurs: i had many things i wanted to blog about.. For e.g. for once, Mark didnt scold and correct me as much as he usually does. For once, I wasnt as close to the edge of crying in frustration as I usually am by the end of the week.
But i didnt blog.

Today: I didnt get my feedback because Mark was too busy. Not necessarily a bad thing. I really dun mind spending my weekend in blissful denial. I do wish however that he would spare some thought for my feelings on tues. Well, not like he noes the significance anyway. sigh.

dunno why. feeling quite tired tonight. only the thought of a nice quiet dinner with him perks me up. =>

I hope Jie has a fun time in KL. =>

dreamy angel at 6:39 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Warning!

People, if you treasure your parts, do take care of them.

I have just left the threatre room and had witnessed an excruciating invasive total knee replacement. Hard to imagine? Well, just picture this in your head. You get totally konked out with anaesthetic, which i must add, is more potent than date-rape drug. You are now in total mercy in the hands of those around you. If you are lucky, you get a good doctor who tries to treat your parts with respect, otherwise your parts get prodded, pried, twisted, tugged about. And the best thing is, you remember nothing of it.

Plus. Bones and strong ligaments arent exactly soft like tofu. They do demand a fair bit of strength and tugging for the job. So its nobody's fault but yours if you have to go under the knife. Afterall, you could have waited abit longer for the knee to heal b4 you go running/playing soccer again, wearing proper shoes for the activity blah blah blah..

So what happened to the lady in the threatre today? Well, her femur and tibial ends(translated: thigh n leg bones) got saw-ed off, patella (translated: kneecap) as well, plus a lateral release of quads. Due to her severe OA (osteoarthritis), there were some complications and in the end, her ACL & PCL were removed, MCL & LCL ruptured, patella tendon avulsed. >_<
Bet all this doesnt scare you, right? Okay, how about if i carry on to tell u that there is a chance that this TKR (total knee replacement) may fail and when that happens, she risk amputation. =<

Enough said.

I bought heaps of large jaffas and white choc raspberry in anticipation of the long gruelling surgery and not to my surprise, i finished them within the first hour of the operation. hee. There was too much violence n blood in that room. My weak heart needed some sugar to keep it pumping.

oOo and did i mention that i got to play with some left-over cement from the surgery!! It was hot and spongy like playdough. hehe.. fun!

Eventful day it was today. Saw the podiatrist this morning and made an order for orthotics. My first move to preserving my knees, hips and spine. Raised a few eyebrows when i started running on the treadmill with my pants rolled up to my knees and walking up and down the hallway repeatedly. =P Small sacrifice to pay for the greater good. Think the orthotics is going to burn a hole in my pocket.. oh well. =>

I really do wish to be a surgeon.

dreamy angel at 4:59 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

False Impressions

Went to Grace McKellar Centre today. Lovely place. Its like a high-class hotel just for old people. Okay, there are some young people too, but its as common as Chinese people in Iraq. => Saw a handful of my IP enjoying their life there. They kinda graduated from acute hospital and progressed to the rehab centre. Lucky them, the lounges are huuuge with nice, comfy sofas. And I haven even mentioned about the hydrotherapy pool. OMG. They put St Vin's pool to shame.

Haha. And i escaped from hydro once again. =P Lucky me.

So my Pts remembered my name, except for one who called me Rosie. Cute, isnt she? At least it starts with R, not bad for someone i saw just once. =P

I ran out of chocs today. Ate my last bar and last freddo this afternoon. Tried begging Germ to go Coles with me now but she declined. Bugger. =<

Funny how i believed my birthday is on Weds all these while, until Germ kindly pointed out (she counted with her fingers) that its on Tues. So there is still hope. Maybe if I just played dead on that day. Okay, maybe not dead, but ill. => Then i can spend my birthday in Melb. Wheee. =P Hmm.. worth considering. hee..

And the final false impression for the day is that the hongkong guy that i have been pestering for GE (Global Elective) actually works for another hospital. >_< That's not the worst of it. The hospital he works at is at the corner of some secluded part of HK. =< Doesnt bode well for my grand shopping plans. Blah.

OoO.. i just remembered i have some choc icecream in the freezer!! hehe.. Yum.. Did i mention i was sorely spoiled by 2 great pple over the weekend! First, i was treated to a seafood buffet dinner on Sat night and then a deliciouslyyummyrichsinful choc lunch on Sun. Yes, i am indeed well-loved. =P
Choc icecream, here i come!! =P

dreamy angel at 8:33 PM [2 choccies worth]

{Dreaming Of You..}