From Here to Home

Washington, D.C. to Reykjavik, Iceland is 2,811 miles.
To Quito, Ecuador -- 2,694 miles. To Qaanaaq, Greenland -- 2,678.

To Seattle, Washington -- 2,761 miles.

That's super far. And sometimes I feel every mile that separates me from the sky-piercing mountains, forever green forests and glassy blue waters. Mostly when I think of Seattle, I imagine taking a breath of the crisp air. Pick any day in 365 and the air is delightful.
Let's be real. Beyond the reasons I can give for Seattle's like-non-otherness, I miss it the most because it's home.

On Reading

MAY 22, 2013

THE CURSE OF READING AND FORGETTING

POSTED BY IAN CROUCH

...

"Part of my suspicion of rereading may come from a false sense of reading as conquest. As we polish off some classic text, we may pause a moment to think of ourselves, spear aloft, standing with one foot up on the flank of the slain beast. Another monster bagged. It would be somehow less heroic, as it were, to bend over and check the thing’s pulse. But that, of course, is the stuff of reading—the going back, the poring over, the act of committing something from the experience, whether it be mood or fact, to memory. It is in the postmortem where we learn how a book really works. Maybe, then, for a forgetful reader like me, the great task, and the greatest enjoyment, would be to read a single novel over and over again. At some point, then, I would truly and honestly know it."

...

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2013/05/the-curse-of-reading-and-forgetting.html

"we may pause a moment to think of ourselves, spear aloft, standing with one foot up on the flank of the slain beast." So true for me! More on this soon!

One of my favorite TED Talks

I decided not to post this on Facebook. Facebook is too public. People may think I'm too much a feminist. People might say, "oh, she's one of them, now." 

But I feel protected posting on this blog. This blog is more hidden. People have to search to find it. On this blog, only a handful of people would see it, not my 897 Facebook Friends. 

All of this is ironic, because what I want to write about is Sheryl Sandberg's TED Talk. Her talk about women standing up and being seen. I know it's a bit dated, but I really believe this stuff. 

If you have 15 minutes, sit back and watch...

http://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.html

Memorable quote:

"Success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women." 

My takeaway:

I want to keep my foot on the gas pedal and keep my hand up as long as everyone else.

In hindsight

I left my job in April

With a determined spirit and eyes on Cambodia, I left my great job. 

Oh, to describe the feeling of returning to a place 

I had - for two years - found myself thinking about between breaths.

to return to Phnom Penh for two months

It was deeply good to be back, but laced with joy were realizations;  

 Maybe I would only be a visitor this time, not a long-termer. At least not this time.

before arriving back in Seattle on the first of summer.

With the closure I didn't have before, 

I made it in time for a brag-able Seattle summer and played the part of a tourist. 

With the help of a friend, I rediscovered the beautiful city 

but the unsuccessful job hunt started to weigh heavy, 

On the first of fall, I moved back to Washington, D.C.

and I took a leap back to the East Coast.

The familiarity, the opportunities, the support were all comforting, 

but the job search was a battle of will, faith and confidence.

Then, 8 months and 44 applications later, I was offered a great job.

Then, on December 13th, I was finally able to look back with a new perspective. 

     I'll remember 2012 not as a year of unemployment, but as a year of wonder. But of course no one's life is a storyboard of predictable good fortune and chapters defined. Mine hasn't been and it won't be perfect. Those eight months were also long, hard and boring. And a job is a job and only a job.

     Yet, despite and because of 2012, I'm finally growing into the meaning of my name: dream. High school Roya would never quit a (great, steady) job for the abyss of question marks. I've had to become comfortable with quaky knees and muddled plans. Not to take risks for risk's sake or to bulldoze ahead unhinged. Not recklessness. But to live into what I think is my capacity; to hold on to a spirit of growth and ambition and let fear bite the dust. 

To the God who gives freedom.

To the friends who show me abundant generosity.
To the family who encourages me and never once gave me the red light.
I have learned so much. I have seen so much.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

motto2012

"Run mad as often as you choose but do not faint"
- Jane Austen circa 1814

Who's Counting?

It took one step off the plane to feel overwhelmed with the humidity of Cambodia;
It took just an embrace to jump back into relationships with my friends;
It took one boat trip for my skin to turn four shades tanner;
It took many long breaths to completely let go of ties to my previous job;
It took one and a half weeks before I popped my first de-worming pill;
It took one good conversation and a return to journaling to appreciate a life without deadlines;
It took one decline before accepting an offer to volunteer with an organization;
It took a string of late nights in Singapore to catch a cold rough enough to put me out of commission;
It took a spontaneous trip to a province to be reminded of the kindness of a stranger.

Somehow I'm already here at Week 5, and people, there's no where else I'd rather be than in Cambodia.

Borey, Pipor and Sokleak, I don't know if you guys read my blog but, Thank You. Thank you for making me feel at home. Thank you for making sure I don't have to eat alone.

Also, shout out to my dear-friend and host-extraordinaire in Cambodia, Karen. Go get 'em at your new job! They're lucky to have you.

A nod to Alexis Bledel, Blake Lively et al.

In DC I have a great pack of girlfriends. You know, like a sisterhood.
They gave me a scarf. You know, to take with me on my travels.

Before I left, I was given a mission.
Wear the scarf : something magical is bound to happen : when it does, write about it : send along the note and scarf to a friend of my choosing.

Today I finally decided to put on the scarf.
I was holding out because it didn't match my outfits, the post office is too far away, I was waiting for the perfect day.

Thus it commences. Sisterhood of the Traveling Scarf.