Pictures don't lie

That is what they say, isn't it? And a picture is worth a thousand words, right? So what do these say?










I've been worried about Apani for some time now. Even before she turned 2. When I mentioned it to her pediatrician, she seemed shocked, so I let it go. I tried to convince myself that she was just so smart that she would easily become bored. We bought lots of puzzles. Around 15 months, she was putting them together ... 24 pieces. Her vocabulary went beyond 200 words before she was 18 months and forming sentences. I started a list but couldn't keep up with her. She absorbed everything and never forgets.

The months passed and I tried not to think about it. I had to stop comparing her to Kaity, maybe that was the real problem. They're just polar opposites. A few months before her third birthday, she told my mother, "I want to cut your head off and put it in a box." Yes she was joking, but where does a 2 year old get that? She told me she didn't like to see people happy and several other things, I can't get into it all. I decided I couldn't ignore my feelings anymore.

I found a forum and asked some questions. But it was nearing the deadline for early intervention. In NY it ends at 3 years and no one was returning my calls. She turned 3 without finding any help.

My little girl is not happy. When I look at those pictures, my heart aches. That is what I see every day. I joke around that she has inner demons, but she is seriously tormented by something. I feel like I've tried everything but nothing is working. I became a Nanny911 and SuperNanny junkie. They didn't help much and I found that watching it with the girls only added fuel to the fire.

I asked around my local yahoo group and found some numbers. My biggest fear is not finding someone I could trust. I don't want her medicated for no reason and I don't want to be told something is wrong just so that another check is put into a person's pocket. Well, Sunday, I spoke to a friend in the nursing mother's room. I don't know why, but I asked her a few questions and it turns out she worked in Early Intervention with children 0-5!! I'm so excited! Not to put any pressure on her, but I look forward to speaking with her in more depth and utilizing whatever strategies she has for us.


On another happy note


2 out of three ain't so bad!

Remember ...

not too many years ago, all you had to do was press '0' and you would automatically be redirected to a person? I sure do miss those days!

Now, not only do I first have to enter ALL my info on my "touch tone keypad", but when I'm finally connected to a person, I have to then tell them all my info. So really, what is the point? I bet that if I pressed 2-4-7-1-3 instead of 2-5-1-4-6, I would have been connected to that same person.

Ya, know what really irks me? When I have to listen to the whole message in Spanish before being told what number to press for English.

And while I'm venting, why can't I find a darn mesh food feeder by Munchkin? I've now been to 6 pharmacies and only 1 person knew what I was talking about.

I did it!

I woke up proud of myself that I overcame every obstacle this week and was able to get Kaity to school. It's Friday and I am preparing for yet another stressful morning of rushing out the door, but...it's FRIDAY!! That means, I'm working on getting her there 5 days this week. That's every day! You have no idea what a huge accomplishment that is for me. Between the weather, the occasional overtired and slightly cranky baby, the determined to be difficult for the sole purpose of being difficult three year old, and my exhausted self, Kaity has missed about a day a week of school. So this is BIG! LET ME PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK IF YOU WILL.

So I get up, shower, bathe the girls (if it weren't for their crazy hair, we would bathe at night) dress the girls, and out of the corner of my eye I noticed something passing the window. As I turned my head, I saw snowflakes as big as feathers...like a pillow fight gone wrong...or perfectly??? You could not imagine my disappointment. I felt defeated. I was proud only to find out minutes before we had to leave that she was going to miss yet another day. Thoughts of the 20 minute walk, soaked pants, and a whining toddler started to overwhelm me. Going out is such a chore! My mind quickly filled with thoughts of negativity.

Then, I decided I was not going to let the weather defeat me! We dreaded the cold, wet snowflakes and got her to school! It was not without complaint and I arrived home soaked up past my ankles, and Maddy cried the entire way home (she hates the stroller) but I did it! We did it.

I hate when she misses school. She LOVES school. She's doing so well. I can't believe how fast she started learning. I tried teaching her but couldn't get more than a few letters to sink in. After a few weeks of school, she was spelling and writing her own name! Look at this picture she bought home. She's so happy.


She even signed it, (the picture cut it off). ha! And I've now framed it.

Dancin' with Starfall

Kaity and Abby love starfall.com. Particularly: Beethoven (They may not look a thing like me, but they have my taste in music!)

They put it on and begin to dance, laughing and screaming the entire time. Of course, Madelyn is now imitating them. I've noticed her screaming when she wants attention. The other day I had her sitting on the table in her bumbo while we were eating. The girls were on the computer beforehand so the site was still up. Madelyn got so excited when she saw the computer. She began to scream so we put on the music and she began to "dance"

Smile if you think she's cute!


Maddy LOVES this video...frankly, I don't blame her!

Mirror, mirror

I have a wart

...about 15 lbs with curly brown hair...really cute.

Maddy is glued to my side. Not only because she's slightly clingy, but also because her older sisters get too excited around her. To insure her safety, she is at my hip ... or breast...depending on what time it is :)

Kristin lent me her bumbo. I LOVE that thing. It has, well, in the least, given my back a break, but also allowed me to actually do things other than walk among rooms. Maddy loves to cook, uh, play with the paper towels while I cook. She helps me wash dishes. And she helped with the peppermint bark we made the other day. I forgot however, that she has entered a very curious stage. She loves to grab things, anything. Everything needs to be touched and tasted. In fact, she "walks" around, arm outstretched, open handed, waiting for something to touch her palm. Like a venus fly trap, she closes it as soon as something does. I find myself often pulled back so that I don't hurt her. Anyway, back to that bark. I thought that she would enjoy a taste of our little treat. Picking up the spatula, I brought it to her lips, only to have it grabbed from me. Chocolate was everywhere. I think I even heard her say, "Mmmm."

Enjoy the video:

What would I do without you?

I have the BEST friends. You guys really are amazing. They never cease to amaze me. I can't express how thankful I am for them.

I've been having a difficult time having three kids. I've never had to rely on people as much as I do now. It's been hard for me to adjust. But I've been so lucky because the women in my ward are awesome! They are always willing to help and knowing that they're there is beyond comforting. They are super supportive and I don't know how I'd be handling this without them.

We have a weekly playgroup. It's my favorite day of the week, but it's getting harder and harder for me to find the energy to get out. Kaity is sometimes cranky after school. Apani adds 15 minutes to a 15 minute walk. And with the weather I'm just too exhausted.

Yesterday, I decided I would be daring and just go! Why not, right? Playgroup afterall really is for the moms, isn't it? I'd go insane without it, I really think I would. Anyway. We hop on the train. Apani is struggling to get onto her seat as the train starts to pull away. She loses her balance, slams her face into the seat perpendicular to her, and split her chin open. It was hard to tell how bad it was or if it was bad at all, but I decided to take her to the ER. Thankfully it's one of the stops on the train.

I had Kristin with me and without a second thought, she offered to take Kaitlyn and Madelyn. (Meanwhile she had her own 2 year old to watch! She's a brave woman!) While I was at the ER, my friends were all watching my kids. THANKS GUYS!! They were able to calm my stubburn, hungry baby who will only nurse. One of them picked me and Apani up so as to avoid another trip on the train...she even offered to drive us home! I can't express how thankful I am for having such great friends.

Apani by the way is ok. She didn't need stitches but they did have to glue it. Now, I just hope her dimple is ok. And from now on, I'll never leave my house. :)