Anyway, I guess I should back up a bit and get caught up. When Romy and I moved back here to NC a year ago it was difficult. I didn't really want to come back and it was just very stressful on all sides. Money was tight, the divorce was nearing finalization, Romy had to get set up with brand new doctors, specialists, teachers and therapists. Then in April my father in California (not stepfather) was diagnosed with liver cancer. He passed away 9 days later.
I haven't written much about my father and there's plenty of reasons why I didn't, but none of them good enough reasons. My father and I weren't very close growing up. When I was younger he'd fly my sister and I out there to visit him and I have fond memories of those times. However, as I got older the distance grew. He wasn't a perfect man, parts of his childhood sucked and he had his demons as we all do, but underneath it all there was a man who was extremely loving. I didn't always think this of him, but about 2 years ago we saw and spoke to each other for the first time in several years. I had some anger and bitterness built up, but once I saw him and saw the condition he was in, it melted and I just desperately wanted to help my father. My sisters and I tried, we really did, but in the end his lifestyle caught up with him and ultimately took his life.
Romy had never met him and when he was diagnosed my sister, Lucy, who lives close to him informed us that it was bad. Extremely advanced and untreatable at that point although my Dad brushed it aside perhaps to prevent us from feeling sorry for him. My sister Lisa, Romy and I were on flights to see him a few days later. When he passed he was at home, surrounded by his girls and loved ones. I'm so grateful for the time we shared together although I wish more than anything that I would've made more of an effort to build a stronger relationship.
After he passed my sisters and I were packing up his belongings to get all of his stuff moved out of his place and we came across some really amazing things. He kept every single letter or note either of us ever wrote him. He had a suitcase filled with love letters from his past, apparently he was bit of a lothario in the 70's. He had pictures he drew, poems he wrote, yearbooks, documents, photographs, even his boy scout card. There was a lot of history that he held on to. I found my Mom and his wedding album. It was incredibly weird to see them kissing in the pictures as I was barely a toddler when they split and don't really remember them together, haha! It was kind of fun to sift through all of that. There were things about my Dad that I never knew. He always came off as a bit of a tough guy with his bandanas, signature beard, and muscle shirts. However, at his core he was sensitive, a romantic, and sentimental. Not unlike myself at all.
His memorial service was beautiful. So many people attended that there weren't enough seats in the chapel. Everyone was decked out in Raider's gear, his favorite football team. He would've liked that. Several people stood up to share stories and pay respect. They had such wonderful things to say about him. It was incredible to see how loved he was.
Today I listened to a voicemail he left me last year on my birthday over and over. He is so missed.
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| Little me, Dad and his ridiculous mustache |
Okay, now for some much more cheery news.......drum roll please........Romy has taken independent steps in her gait trainer!!! Woo hoo! For a very long time she needed help to push her along, and help her bend at the knee, but just the other day, (on 10/11/12- kinda cool) at physical therapy, she walked clear across the hallway a few time and THEN all the way from the building to the car. I was pretty shocked. How could she have gone from barely taking steps to taking several hundred overnight? Her SWASH brace is the answer or I should say is NOT the answer. I've only ever put her in her gait trainer with her SWASH, because well you're supposed to. However her teacher forgot to send it home from school yesterday so we went to PT without it. Apparently the SWASH was hindering her ability to walk. Maybe because it pulls with so much pressure on her adducters? Maybe it was too much to overcome to be able to focus on bending at the knee. That's just my guess anyway. Who knows how long she's had this ability! So now we're going to really focus on building more strength and balance to get her to be able to steer better and stand straighter. I'm so incredibly proud of my little monster!
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| Easter 2012 |
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| Still has that killer smile! |
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| Last day of Pre-k, year 2 |
In other Romy news, she's still tiny at just over 30 pounds and roughly 37 inches tall. She's in her 3rd year of Pre-K at the school I attended as a child and she's been placed in a classroom where the majority of the kids do not have a delay or disability. While she's still definitely delayed, she is currently going through a burst of development. She can say a few short sentences and has too many words to count. Her speech is still pretty garbled and only a few can speak her language, but she gets her point across pretty well. While she just started using her gait trainer independently, it's still pretty new to her so she uses her wheelchair as her main form of ambulation. It's a manual chair and I really don't think she'll need an electric one. She's really great at maneuvering herself. As for her interest, they're still mostly the same. She loves Yo Gabba Gabba, Elmo, dolls and the Wonder Pets. She's also starting to get into blocks and legos. Romy is a pretty social kid too which she does not get from her shy mama. Also, while she's normally very sweet and loving, this kid has a temper and can get straight up mean if she doesn't get her way. We're working on it, haha.
So overall, she is continuing to kick ass and take names. That's my girl!
