To the carrier of my ex husbands child,

Hi there second wife. I'm assuming Ur pregnant because it's been almost a month. And since I deprived him a child for two years, he's probably desperate. And I'm positive you're not on birth control. So i hope you're feeling extremely nauseous and sick! And that he doesn't take care of you like he didn't take care of me. And I hope it's a girl, because he's incapable of pleasing you enough to make a girl, if he can even please you at all. So enjoy all your future daughters, cuz the men in his family can't make sons! I hope you shine his shoes and bake him potato kugel because you gotta treat him like his mother did and make him feel like a king!
Sincerely,
I'll always be the first wife
The smart one

Who

Let myself fall
Feel
Care
Open up
Become
A shoulder
Is there a sign
Do I wear it
Here for you
Does it say
When in fact
Do I care
But
Always listen
There
Here
Night
Day
Can be found
Never forgotten
Details remembered
Dates
Numbers
People
Friends
Enemies
There
Here
But
Who
Is
On the other
Side
Who
Catches my
Non fallen
Tears

Who

backwards wedding

i have an idea that most wouldnt like
they have this stupid process
that although I know how it goes
this is what i suggest

a backwards wedding
all the same invitations mailed
response cards received
guests and family sit and wait

Mesader kidushin can play role
Of head of beit din
Two eidim are given same privilege
Hell, pour a damn cup of wine

Skip badekin
Totally unnecessary
Do not wear any rings
And bring some tissues

The time has come
Nerves are all around
Knees are shaking
The crowd gets to watch

The groom, now husband
Escorted by his parents
Walks down first
To the end

His back is hunched
He wears a suit and a black hat
He hasn't shaved
His shoes are not polished

There is no music
Whispering in the audience
Coughing
Someone mouths "who knew?"

Next, the bride
Now wife
Refuses to be escorted
Her parents would not attend

Dressed in a blood red dress
With sunglasses
So that no one
can see her eyes

She makes her way
With her husband's back to her
As the crowd watches
Let everyone be a witness

As he utters the words
"you are free to be
With another man"
She is free

No longer man and wife
She removes her red veil
And runs
She is a bird

But he will never be free
The guests were all there
They should have been
At the backwards wedding

meds meds

theyre good for me
theyre good for you
ill show you mine
you show me yours

ill trade you some
blue for pink
100 mgs
1000 mgs

whoopdidoo
i love my meds
theyre the best
so much fun

no wait
who am i kidding
i am controlled
by a substance

i dont make decisions
a pill does
actually
7 pills do

and i take them
because some dr
tells me to
no one tells me to

i tell me to
i do what i do
no one knows me
not some dr

and pills
they dont help
they control
they manipulate

i dont need u
pills pills
u stay in
your little bottles

stay there
and look pretty
and im me
in control

swerve

Fuck u
Fuck all of U
Fuck them
Fuck Fuck FUCK
shit fuck fuck shit shit
rage
anger
burning
boiling
taking over
overtaking
running through
veins
blood
water
bridge
car
rain
swerve
reckless
lights
tires
screech
music
blasting
ringing
buzzing
Fuck
Fuck Fuck Fuck
shit fuck fuck shit shit

must take my meds.

Just Me

just me

this is for you

i have

a special

place

in my

heart

for you

dont ask

me why

dear sister

friend

kindred spirit

dare i 

say

the words

trust

love

feel

care

worry

think

miss

you

dare

you 

run

hide

shed

shrink

torment

target

ruin

just me

this is for you

dont ask

me why

dear sister

friend

kindred spirit

i am here.

evaporate

it comes

you come

to me

with me

and i should

should be

happy

thrilled

but i feel

miserable

rotten

like trash

each time

every time

all the

time

cant deal

dont 

want to 

move

want to 

sleep

need to

fold up

curl

into a 

ball

disappear

evaporate

leave me

be

but you come 

for a 

visit

refuse to 

leave

and now

i know

im reminded

im not a mother.

 period

and then 

i forget

wait for it

wait in line

a level of frustration

no matter how hard

try

patient

be patient

i cant

bring 

myself

calm down

dont yell

dont shout

take a number

explain

next line

new counter

back in line

paperwork

take a seat

wait

blinking

numbers

minutes

hours

waiting

so slow

empty counters

patient

number called

phew

wrong line

back to seat

wait in line

called

finally

accomplish

nothing