Testing

I hate projects!

New Divide..

I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me
I remembered each flash as time began to blur
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve

So many things I wish to say, yet there's no one I can turn to..

In less than a month..

I'm gonna have a new toy!!

Apple Iphone 3GS!

Of thoughts & hearts.

Its been nearly a month since I last enter here.
There are so many things I wanna say, yet I can't post in most places as I'm afraid of hurting others, and myself.

There's so many things I wanna tell you, there's so much I wanna share with you... I really hope the cards were right.

Wrong choices were made, but I still hope things would turn out different in months and years.


ilu..

Sick..

The feeling is horrible.. I'm gonna cough out my lungs soon..

Dreams

I still have images of you in my dreams..
I dreamt of you hugging donkey to sleep.. It surely have some meaning for all of these dreams..

Hope you're fine...

Weekend holiday..

I'm going to KL with my friends this weekend.. Am feeling kinda excited as its my first road trip and my first time at a offical track.

I'm going to SEPANG INTENTIONAL CIRCUIT!! Woot.. Hope it'll be an exciting weekend..

I'll miss you surely when I'm there.

Fat

4 days no gym... And I'm feeling fat. damn.

Jes..

Can`t we try just a little bit harder
Can`t we give just a little bit more
Can`t we try to understand
That it`s love we`re fighting for
Can`t we try just a little more passion
Can`t we try just a little less pride
I love you so much, baby
That it tears me up inside

Friday 1st May

I shouldn't be feeling this way.. Its seriously wrong.. VERY WRONG!!
But strangely... I do feel this way...

Weird dream..

It seems so real.... In fact, its my most real dream in 24years..

I never thought I was dreaming..

Tuning.

WOot! Soon!!

Police force

Should I?

Mentality & lifestyle

Well, Ivan did knock some sense into me today.. I almost made a very bad mistake today.. Thank you bro.

He has his points, but I believe there's execptions always...

Sunday would be interesting, I'm going to track for the first time. :D

Helmet ready!

National School Sports Meet 2009 + Badminton game

National School Sports Meet... Something I was looking forward to in the past. Its the finishing point of a year's effort. A year of pain & suffering, beating personal best after personal best. A day when the slightest mistake, from eating at the wrong hour, drinking the wrong amount of water, going to the loo at the wrong timing, would result in qualifying, or packing early to go home.

Sadly, injury took over for me in my final year and I wasn't in the squad.. Today I see loads of atheletics from all over Singapore's school in Cck stadium(not sure when they started having sports meet in cck, it used to be in the national stadium). Looking at the usual powerhouse from ACS(I), HC, Victorians & now the Sports School. There was no Fuchun Secondary school on sight. What happen to 1 of the once famous school known for its sports and nth else. The school that won gold for jumpers & sprints, gone were the days.

Anyway, that was not my intention of going to CCK stadium. Frank had a day off so we went over to have a game of badminton. Its my 2nd day with my new racket. I just bought a Yonex Ti-10 racket and I'm in love with it. I would say the hundreds that I spend on it was well spent. :)



If only I could turn back time, and be 13 again... 13 once more..

Marathon

1 of my goals for this year is that I would be able to compete in a 21km or a 42km race..

I'm already struggling to even reach 11minutes for my 2.4km now.. Shrugs. I really wonder is it possible..

Love story.

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
Youre standing there on a balcony of summer air

See the lights, See the party the ball gowns
I see my way through the crowd
To say hello
Little did you know

That I was Romeo just throwing pebbles
And your daddy said stay away from Juliet
And you were crying on the staircase
Begging me please don't go, and I said

Juliet lets go somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all theres left to do is run
I'll be the prince and you'll be the princess
Its a love story baby just say yes

So I sneak into the garden so I can see you
We keep quiet because we're dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Lets escape this town for a little while

Cause I was Romeo and you made my life better
But your daddy said stay away from Juliet
But you were everything to me
And you were begging me please don't go and I said

Juliet lets go somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all theres left to do is run
Ill be the prince youll be the princess
Its a love story baby just say yes

Juliet dont let them tell you how youre sposed to feel
This love is difficult, but you know its real,
Dont be afraid well make it out of this mess
Its a love story baby just say yes, uh ooh

You got tired of waiting, wondering if I was ever coming around
Your faith in love was fading
Then I met you on the outskirts of town and you said
Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
Then I knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
I love you and thats all I really know
I talked to your dad go pick out a white dress
Its a love story baby just say yes
Oh, oh, yes

We were very young when I first saw you

Insomnia

Its really taking the best out of me.. Out of shape, out of sleep..

Darn.. Time for my 4.8km run now..

$$$

Time to really save up..

There's so many things to buy yet my bank account seems softer each month.

Phase 2

As promised to myself. I'll start phase 2 today.. At 9am..

I love myself, that's why I'm doing this.

And finally.. I graduated.

I finally have a diploma, after all these years..

Might be shifting my blog to somewhere else.... Still thinking.

Rorschach

Just watched the movie online.. Never knew I would do such a thing, but the movie is too good for me to miss.

A

I don't wanna be a B nor a C.

I wanna be an A from now on.

I'm sick and tired of being a B & a C.

ARGH!

Commitment

Should I buy a bicycle which will cost me $3k?

Its an Ellsworth, its branded, its good and I can jump with it.
Am really keen on playing with a bike, but... its a 3k investment. Should I?

Comments pls.

Complication

Maybe she was right all along, the human mind are something that are never trustworthy.
Today I've found out something that I've never believe in, but its as real as it gets. Human are always thirsty creatures. Give an apple, will want another..


Thank you Christ for being a part of me, so that I may have life beyond the thirst and evil of man.. I'm really thankful for Your presense in my life.

ITS OVER!

And now I'm feeling empty again..
4 mths of holiday from books..
Should I be happy about it?

Been meeting up with caregroup to study, well them for their exams, but well, I'm doing alot of self improvement for my future..


I bought the magazine Torque today and I fell in love with a new car. No worries people, its not a lamboghini nor is it a ferrari. Its kinda really affordable comparing to my other loves.

Meet the Volksawagen Passat CC.





No longer a sports car any longer! I'm in love with comfy cars now. haha.
And Its only SGD$125k! DADDY BLESS ME WITH ONE! :D

2 more days..

And I'm not totally prepared yet.

Feeling sick now.. Pray that tmr will be alright.

6am..

And I'm feeling hungry..

I should really kick this supper habit if I intend to get anything serious out of my training..

I've been sacrifising alot.. Been training well.. And I'm desperate to suceed in my project takashi.

No more supper, no more extra carbs, pure raw power is all I need.

The NISSAN GTR

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXFSVoVqhYw

you gotta watch this!
OMG~!


What I need now is passive income of $50,000/mth and $230,000.

1 more week.

I better start mugging soon!

i dun like you anymore...

It lingers in my mind over and over again....

I wish that you could share your feelings with me.. Tell me abt the problems that you are facing.. I really wanna do something for you..

I miss you.. but I really don't know what to do when I see you..

Today's target..

2.4km - Below 11m 20sec.
SBJ - 232cm
Shuttle Run- below 10s
Situps - 40 count
Chin up - 3 :(

Shavers.. That's how it should be.

Its 4am and I still can't get to bed..

Needa wake up at 8..

I'm sorry, noone could replace her in my heart... I wish I could move on.

Drifto

Why are we so far apart now....
Its been only awhile....

Happy Valentines Day people.

I feel so untouched,
And I want you so much,
That I just can't resist you,
It's not enough to say that I miss you,
I feel so untouched right now,
Need you so much somehow,
I can't forget you,
Been goin' crazy from the moment I met you......

And im so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing you were still here
Said im so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why cant I turn off the radio?

Been holding a pen for 2 hours, and yet there's no flow....

Does this mean that I should not write at all?

13 Feb..

Every where I turn... It looks just the same..
I wanna get out of here.. Be it swing, jump, climb...
I wanna get out of here..

I DON'T WANNA BE HERE ANYMORE! SOMEBODY.. PLEASE.

1 day without exercising..

And I'm feeling so weird. I think I'm poisoned by this bug.

Blue clouds..

These few days alot of things are happening.. Most are beyond my control..

But I'm glad that things are going this way... Thanks for those that are around me. Without you guys(girls), I wouldn't be able to smile again..

2 years of life after trix.

I kinda miss working. I miss the life there, but sometimes the stress is just too much for me to handle..

Quiz

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Being Alone   While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
Looked down on
Losing Someone
Commitment
Disappointment
Death
Where Your life is Going
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

I've been stoning in front of my screen since I got home...
I'm staring at a blank page..
Tears are rolling down from my eyes maybe due to tireness.
I ever remember her saying that no more means no more, there's no chance of being together again anytime soon..
I wish I could let go, but I can't.. I miss you, every moment, every hour, every second..
I love you.
Please come back.. I really love you...

Living the dream..

Its been 4 years since I started this... and I've never filfilled it..
Time to really do something about it before I gets too old for it..

I REALLY REALLY WANNA BE GOOD LOOKING AGAIN!

I need my confidents back.. Badly..
I wanna be able to walk in a crowd, and be noticed.
I wanna start a conversation, with the other party deeply attracted.
I wanna be the one.
I wanna have her back too...

If only I was wolverine..

I would have jumpped off my building now.
Touch my exhaust pipe.

Sit on a bbq pit.

Sleep on CTE at 3am

I just feel like getting myself hurt...
Just so that I can feel the pain.. Even knives don't work anymore.. Cuts are just cuts.. I need to feel more pain..

Only by being him, I can suffer all the pain in the world, but still being alive.. Alive so that I can still have my chance... Feel the pain so that I can have physical pain instead of emotional.. cause it really hurts alot now..

What have I done?

I slept 14 hours.... This is bad...

Another day, another Kg.

And with all the outings that I had, I'm very dry at the moment with my CNY lost and my constant high demand for expensive food. I've spent more than 1k since dec and that's BAD! VERY BAD! Where did my IWC fund go? I guess its all in my stomach and the extra KGs that I've put, that's where my fund is. FUCK!

Its been a week since I last washed my car, I guess I better do it tommorrow before my badminton game. :) Badminton has been pretty much of my life lately and I'm excerising 4 times a week at least, or rather, I'm forced to do it for the sake of my health, my future and my life.
Shrugs, and dinner and supper didn't help at all! Had Bak Kuh Teh at River valley, which is so much better than the balaister ones, but price is mad too. Almost $40 for 3.

Met my dearest-est-est Shiqi for supper + chit chat session. Didn't really know where to go so we decided to head down to dempsy for BJ (In case you are wondering, DON'T! Its Ben & Jerry). Its been quite a long time since I last had BJ, maybe the last was at home with Jes digging deep into my favourite Choc fudge brownie. I miss those days... Shrugs. SQ was a great company tonight, thanks girl for being ard. I'm pretty sure you are happy with my presense too. RIGHT! HAHA.

Oh ya, I had my haircut too today. :)
Well, topic doesn't really related to what had happened.

Did anyone see my balls?

Damn, I really need to find them asap. Was at kallang kfc when I saw this girl that attracted my eyes. She's with a group of friends but I'm sure non was her bf.. Nor was she attached.. We exchanged eye contacts a few times, and I know she's friendly, yet I don't dare to walk towards her..

All it takes is a Hi, and we could have been friends... Sigh..

Omg, I need my balls back!

CNY gambling has been been.
Day 1 lost - $80
Day 2 won - $20
Day 3 lost - $50
Day 4 lost - $30
Day 5 lost - $200
Total lost - $340 (est)
Claps claps claps....

I should know how to stop when I could...

Chinese new year gambling day 1

Woot.

Today is a happy, and alittle sad, but Totally exciting day of gambling.

First, I won over $50 in ban luck.
But I lost over $130 in jackpot.

but I have no regrets in this as it was totally exciting..
The jackpot even reach $200 at 1 point with my itchy ass asking them to up the stake to $10 each. Mind you, only 4 people dare to take up the challenge(including me of course). haha, and we rolled till 5 rounds(which means $50 each)... Damn fugging exciting can.


Anyway, we had loads of fun!

I fell in love with her!

Shen Li Jun.

Nationality : Chinese.

Height: 162cm.

Weight：44kg.

Birth Place: Shanghai.

OMG, she's the perfect girl alive! I'm so in love with her.. >.<

To me, she is 99/100!!!!

Reunion Dinner

Well, tmr's reunion dinner, am kinda excited abt it already!
hehz, great food, great feel, everyone will be at home to eat, except you. Well, I know you didn't came last year, but I wish you could be here today, but I know its just a dream. :)


I miss you, sometimes I just wish I had someone to bring to granny's for CNY.. I'm pretty sure this year 90% of my cousins/sibilings are bringing their other half, I'll be alone this year, just like every other year..

Next year will be a better year surely, and I'll be going to granny's for CNY with my special one hand in hand..

Badminton Fever!

haha, been playing badminton for the past 1 week+ and I think I'm overly crazy abt it. I spend like almost everyday playing it. LOL!

Need to cut down abit soon..

Should I?

Righteous.

God so love the world that He sent His only beloved Son to die for us at the cross..


Its time I do something right..

Time passes..

but everything is still the same....


Come into my life again..

3-0

Its 3-0!

Well done Sir Alex.
Well done Manchester United.

Because i can't sleep til you're next to me

No i can't live without you no more

Oh i stay up til you're next to me

Til this house feels like it did before

Feels like insomnia.....

Maybe you'll remember that razor-faced man who slipped out from the dark like a blade and - before we realized - knew what was there: he saw the smoke and concluded fire. The pallid woman with black hair rose like a fish from the abyss, and the two of them built up a contraption, armed to the teeth, against love. Man and woman, they felled mountains and gardens, then went down to the river, they scaled the walls, they hoisted their atrocious artillery up the hill. Then love knew it was called love. And when I lifted my eyes to your name, suddenly your heart showed me my way.

Dawn is coming..

Book shopping spree

First day of school.. Well classmates are pretty different from the past. Gone were the days when people are noisy and there's almost 0 gossip in class now. Most of the students in my class, or rather 1/2 of them are from china. Didn't really chat much with anyone today other than Warren.

Well, after school, I had a thought of getting some books to read, and little did I know.. I spent $110 on books!! LOL!

Suddenly I have became a bookworm over night. :D

Of books and such..

Been reading alot since the break up...

Well, I guess she was right, reading does distract the mind.

And I should really be sleeping at this hour.. 4.30 and I'm suppose to be waking up at 6.

Grandma was dianoised with a stage 2 cancer.. Doc says there was 2 options. 1 was to go for an operation knowing that the success rate was only 20%. While the other option was to not do anything and she will have 2 more years to live.
Most of us would have chosen option 2 was it was the best chance of seeing her longer.. And not risk losing her in a day.. But what will happen after 2 years? Would we live to regret our decision and not try to prolong her life even though its a huge gamble?

I will regret my decision after 2 years and I'm sure I'll always blame myself for not asking her to go for operation so that there is a chance that she will recover..

Yet what if I'd chosen option 1? Gave our best shot, and at least we don't live to regret the decisions that we had made if something goes wrong, we'd tried our best...

We're only humans afterall, we blame ourselves for things things we had not done, and had done..

2009

Went to Py's wedding today. Well, finally she's married, after knowing her for almost 10 years..
Little did I expect such day to happen so fast.. When will my turn be?

Suddenly everyone seems to be getting married, yet I can't even be in a relationship for more than a year..


Sigh... What a NYE for me... Heartbroke, Joy, Sadness.. Mix together...

And I almost killed myself while trying out my limits on the road... This current car's handling isn't fantastic.. I miss my mazda...