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Wednesday, December 21, 2005

In Memoriam

Another loss for the processed food industry.

Joseph L. Owades, a biochemist credited with inventing, for better or worse, light beer but whose product lacked the macho marketing that later made Miller Lite a sensation, died of a heart ailment Friday at his home in Sonoma. He was 86.


This follows, by just over a month the death of the inventor of Stove Top Stuffing, Ruth Siems.

If I was the inventor of microwave popcorn, I'd be pretty nervous right now.


UPDATE:

Too late.

The most Authoritative Voice in all of this

Once again, the most reliable person in all of the discussion of what the Congressional leadership was told about President Peeper's eavesdropping program is Bob Graham.

Former Florida Sen. Bob Graham reiterated Tuesday that the Bush administration never briefed him, as chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, about a covert domestic wiretap program -- and suggested the possibility that it grew out of ``a creep of presidential authority.''

Rather, Graham recalled being summoned to a classified briefing by Vice President Dick Cheney in late 2001 or early 2002. He was informed about a presidential directive that let the National Security Agency eavesdrop on overseas calls that moved through U.S. communications lines -- not people speaking on the phone inside the United States.


There has never been a more anal retentive diarist in Congress than Bob Graham. If anybody remembers what happened and when, it is him. The last guy I'd ever want to be in a credibility contest with is a guy who kept contemporaneous notes on everything he ever did, including how many banana slices he put on his "Special K" in the morning.

And how quaint that once again, not just Bush, but the de facto President Cheney was involved in this program. There is nothing malevolent in the Administration that doesn't intimately involve that decrepit bastard and his empty morals and crooked ass grin.

(Mian Khursheed/Reuters)


What a piece of work the Cheney marriage must be. Bouts of glares and indeciperhable grunts followed by their once a month skull-fucking...with other peoples' disembodied skulls. I picture Dick in a full body stocking, getting out of the casket he sleeps in, disconnecting his arm from the blood tap he keeps hooked up during his off-hours. He leans over Lynn as he rubs the skull of some departed GITMO resident into that dried up skank's groin. Their eyes meet, each full of hate and loathing for the other. They don't speak they just sneer at each other, the corners of their mouths twitching in what they believe to be "patriotic bliss".

...


Wow, how did Rude Pundit get in here? That post really veered off out of control.

Sorry about that.

Attaturk Apologizes

In the last post I made a joke about shitting my pants. I was speaking in metaphor.

Crapping one's pants is not a laughing matter, it is serious business for a number of people today:
Jack Abramoff, the Republican lobbyist under criminal investigation, has been discussing with prosecutors a deal that would grant him a reduced sentence in exchange for testimony against former political and business associates, people with detailed knowledge of the case say.


Matches are being lit in GOP offices throughout Washington, D.C. today.

Oh, now I know why this program is so "LIMITED"

From the NY Times -- who knows how much things have grown in the year they've been sitting on this:

But in at least one instance, someone using an international cellphone was thought to be outside the United States when in fact both people in the conversation were in the country. Officials, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the program remains classified, would not discuss the number of accidental intercepts, but the total is thought to represent a very small fraction of the total number of wiretaps that Mr. Bush has authorized without getting warrants. In all, officials say the program has been used to eavesdrop on as many as 500 people at any one time, with the total number of people reaching perhaps into the thousands in the last three years.



As many as 500...AT A TIME?

To paraphrase Atrios, should I be offended, or should I be shitting my pants?

I think I've just managed both. Excuse me.

You know its funny

No matter how many times I've review the document that Chimpy & his cabana boy, I mean, Attorney General cite as his authority to do whatever the fuck he wants:

Article II, Section. 2.

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any Subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.


I keep lookin for something, but do not see, what would give him the power to be king.

Do I have to hold it up to light or heat. Will I then see:

-- The Douchebag Clause?

or just a treasure map or something about the Pope?


You know what I do see?

...he shall have Power to grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment

Depression (hopefully not clinical)

I have to confess that this NSA spying matter has me in the depths of real despair, mostly at folks who treat it as trivial -- or some sort of malevolent bargain (oh but Clinton did this or that)

This isn't a game, it is the President of the United States saying I can do what ever I want and you cannot do fuck all about it ... as long as my self-proclaimed war on terror lasts.

Of course, what the goddamned "War on Terror" means is open to question, I'm guessing as far as he's concerned it lasts as long as there is at least one cook in a Ceylonese restaurant bitching about "the American wanting Vindaloo!" In other words, it will NEVER fucking end.

What other laws does he find superfluous or inconvenient vis-a-vis the "War" he gets to define?

Athenae apparently has been up thinking about this in a very fine post.

Things you don't hear on the News...

From the Nation discussing Dipshit Dick's potemkim warzone visit:

They (American Troops in Iraq) know, as well, that the administration's talk about how the U.S. will stand down as the Iraqis stand up remains an empty promise.

How empty?

Consider a line buied deep in the AP report of the vice president's visit to Taji Air Base in Iraq: "U.S. forces guarded Cheney with weapons at the ready while Iraqi soldiers, who had no weapons, held their arms out as if they were carrying imaginary guns."

For all of Cheney's cheerleading about how well things are going, those carrying the real guns recognize that they will not soon be coming home from a country where their "replacements" are carrying imaginary guns.


Nice reporting job major news organizations.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

"Muslims of America"

As far as I can tell this was actually the name of the warrantless eavesdropping program that Bush authorized more than 30 times and resulted in thousands of instances.

I would really love some kind of confirmation of this because it seems incredible that even the Bush Administration would be that stupid (but then again they did expect it to stay secret).

Nevertheless, it does bring to mind the James Brown song from Rocky IV, a movie I have never seen. I understand, however, it is the most underrated of the Rocky movies. I believe it was about Rocky being kidnapped by Spock's Brother, Indiana Jones. Rocky, Indy, Kirk, Spock, Bones, and Harry Potter travel in the Batmobile to the center of Mordor where they find James Bond and Yoda in the presence of God, who actually looks a lot like Steve Guttenburg with the assistance of that sound effects guy.

But I digress:

Muslims of America:


Nine-eleven - made me king - Fourth Amendment is overthrown -
On the internets highway I can snoop

or just listen on the phone.
I never do wrong when there's no taken action that's too far

And somewhere on the way

you might find out Faisal leased a car.*

Muslims of America -
- listening in - station to station.
Muslims of America -
-my word's law - across the nation.
Muslims of America -

- got to have me some bacon -

rock my soul!

New Tack - Poll Smack - many lies I make about Eye-rack.
Right-Wing radio keep on stealin' what you've got for a soul.
Left-wing whiners don't keep me awake

on a cheap dude with a hard roll.
you might have to walk a fine line
you always
take a hard line


While you all work unpaid overtime.

Jostle the Squirrel


Sadly, Dear Leader forgot what Jimmy Jeff told him. The Squirrel goes up top, and the hamster goes down below.

(AFP/Mandel Ngan)

Stiff resistance

Via Sadly No!

Police whack giant snow penis

We truly live in a police state where one cannot make a giant penis out of snow in one's own yard. Public pressure will someday bring matters to a head.


It took a lot of (bad pun) to knock this impressive, yet intimidating, display down. I imagine the more they beat it, the harder it was. So they waited 10 minutes.

I understand the owners were not home at the time, as they were seeing "King Kong".

Addendum:

The nation's other giant penis, survives.

Dick Cheney World

Where everything is a lie and the color scheme varies from white all the way to off-white.

"Moran: Before the war you said Americans would be greeted as liberators here, and yet your own trip here today was undertaken in such secrecy that not even the prime minister of this country knew you were coming, and your movements around are in incredible secrecy and security. Do you ever think about how and why you got it wrong?

"Cheney: I don't think I got it wrong. I think the vast majority of the Iraqi people are grateful for what the U.S. did. I think they believe overwhelmingly that they're better off today than they were when Saddam Hussein ruled."



Intellectual Whoopie Cushion


Found via Froomkin.

It's always troubling

To see the Petulant Wonder snipe and harrangue at the press.

But even more troubling is the press's inability to actually ask obvious questions.

Neverless, the most troubling thing of yesterday's news conference is this exchange between ABC's Martha Raddatz and Bush:

Q Thank you, Mr. President. You say you have an obligation to protect us. Then why not monitor those calls between Houston and L.A.? If the threat is so great, and you use the same logic, why not monitor those calls? Americans thought they weren't being spied on in calls overseas -- why not within the country, if the threat is so great?

THE PRESIDENT: We will, under current law, if we have to. We will monitor those calls. And that's why there is a FISA law. We will apply for the right to do so. And there's a difference -- let me finish -- there is a difference between detecting so we can prevent, and monitoring. And it's important to know the distinction between the two.


Who will not be monitored, who decides?

Bush truly does believe that he is King.

Those FUCKING TRAITOROUS VEGANS!

Is there any level of idiocy and intrusiveness the cabal will not plunge to?

WASHINGTON, Dec. 19 - Counterterrorism agents at the Federal Bureau of Investigation have conducted numerous surveillance and intelligence-gathering operations that involved, at least indirectly, groups active in causes as diverse as the environment, animal cruelty and poverty relief, newly disclosed agency records show...

...One F.B.I. document indicates that agents in Indianapolis planned to conduct surveillance as part of a "Vegan Community Project." Another document talks of the Catholic Workers group's "semi-communistic ideology." A third indicates the bureau's interest in determining the location of a protest over llama fur planned by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.


It's not just the violations of the 1st and 4th Amendments that are so troubling, although they are quite troubling -- it is the sheer waste of time and resources devoted to this. Greenpeace and the Catholic Workers are about a damn site farther away from what happened on 9/11 than say, the REPUBLICAN PARTY!

For years now the Bush Administration has been trying to social protest they disagree with into "terrorism". Spiking trees, or invading labs to free lab rats are easily prosecuted under existing laws, nor are they hard to ward against and investigate when they occur. But it would be an amazingly ironic day when Greenpeace or PETA threatens somebody with "jet fuel" or an atomic bomb. What are vegans going to do, pelt you with lentils?

What incredible idiocy.

Bring on the Noize, Bring on the Fucks

Bush, a man who can manage to mispronounce and miss-define SHAME, tried to kill a NY Times story that had already been held for one year.

Was it to protect national security?

That would be a "NO".

It was to save his puny ass:
...Bush was desperate to keep the Times from running this important story—which the paper had already inexplicably held for a year—because he knew that it would reveal him as a law-breaker. He insists he had “legal authority derived from the Constitution and congressional resolution authorizing force.” But the Constitution explicitly requires the president to obey the law. And the post 9/11 congressional resolution authorizing “all necessary force” in fighting terrorism was made in clear reference to military intervention. It did not scrap the Constitution and allow the president to do whatever he pleased in any area in the name of fighting terrorism.


Attywood already discussed this as well, but the sound and fury from Bush and his pathetic right-wing enablers is so loud -- as always -- that it obscures the frightening truth, Bush is more than just a mere empty suit, he is a loathsome scofflaw, abusing the constitution and the long-held sacred institutions of a Constitutional Democracy.

The Republic falls in stuffed flight-suits and stuffed dolls.

What is this FISA she's talking about?


I hate soccer.


(Kevin Lamarque/Reuters)

What in the name of Tony Canodeo...

Happened to the Packers last night?

They gave Kyle Boller 48 points!!

Monday, December 19, 2005

Speaking of Shame...

How about our brave, brave, spineless press corps (espcially you "JOE" whoever the fuck you work for...) for managing NOT to ask a question sooooooooo obvious it was apparent a millisecond after Lord Dumbfuck said it...

"The leak of the program on monitoring conversations without going to FISA was SHAMEFUL because it harmed our national security."


NOT ONE reporter asked, "Okay, Mr. President, if leaking secrets is shameful, why is Karl Rove still working for you? Come to think of it, why does he still have a security clearance?"


NOT

ONE

FUCKING

REPORTER!

Respect mah Auth-or-rah-tah!

Abu Gonzales explains that Cartman the President can do what ever the fuck he wants because Congress gave him some magical grant of authority they (and I mean YOO) fabricated from Congress's authorization to use military force against the "evildoers".

Gonzales said he had begun meeting with members of Congress on the Bush administration's view that Congress' authorization of the use of military force after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks was ample authorization for the surveillance.

"Our position is that the authorization to use military force which was passed by the Congress shortly after Sept. 11 constitutes that authority," Gonzales said.



This is the most outrageous powergrab by the Executive since James K. Polk's infamous "I want to eat a british baby, they's tasty! decree" of July 1846.


"54-40, mmmmmmph, basted -- or fight!"

Now Move Your Hands Mr. President

Preznit tongue-in-teeth and jaw-set was apparently told that his mouth is such a distraction during his speeches that the specialists want him to move his hands as a distraction. If he was smart enough to read a teleprompter and watch someone giving him physical cues I would have sworn that is exactly what was going on. As it is, he just looks like an automoton.

Oh, and an asshole.

Just Sayin'...




Feel free to choose different fingers in response.