aku bisa membuatmu jatuh cinta kepadaku meski...

kau tak cinta kepadaku... this song from dewa touches my heartstring.. im feeling sombre again, tomorrow im gonnna make a road trip to kl.. yes kl calling me again.. havent got time to blog, too much happenings in my life these past weeks.. met up with shienli for nasi padang and had a good catching up with her after she left for Canberra with her husband two years ago. I forgot to take some pixs together fortunately im meeting up with her again after i come back fm my kl trip..

This coming new year is full of uncertainties.. im not sure where my love life is heading.. i do look forward to meet new people after a year of hibernation. Gosh a year, it just seems like yesterday. im gonna be 33 in a few months time, and its unbelieveable. People around me are moving on but it seems like im just stuck here, nothing to look forward to .. am i just destined to be like this forever? Im not sure, i hope to change my non-existance love life but where do i start?... somebody give me a love compass pleeassee...

My week so far..

...has been a mixture of fortunate & unfortunate events..It was smooth sailling until yesterday, my msn was infected by some virus and im totally upset that I had to reinstall all my softwares. Today I made a gross mistake at work that I'm too embarassed to even mention, how can i be so incompetent!!! I've never made this kind of mistake my entire working life and there's no excuse for it. At that point all i can do is pray to Allah and asked for HIS guidance, emails was flying here and there between my boss and me, he even managed to lighten the situation by cracking some joke but to me its not funny. I told him yes, its an oversight from me and im gonna admit to client, at this point i just felt like a piece of stale curry puff kena langgar by lorry..I did the apologizing and my client accepted it and was also nice about it, I can't believe it! and I swear I can feel that Allah is there with me, protecting me. I thank YOU.

Towards the end of the day, I finally came to terms with what had happened and calmed myself that this is part and parcel of life, this is a blessing in disguise, everything happened for a reason and im only human who made mistake, nobody is perfect, im not for sure.

The best part to wind down this crazy week is another of my ad passed a tedious censorship process without any glitch, that is a bonus after a dramatic day. I am truly blessed.

Met up with Nofa today, we went to JL sale again and I did some serious shopping.. im happy..

When there's sorrow there's joy..

I believe this two elements are intertwined. I've never met anyone who hasn't experience neither.. I hate sorrow but I can't run away from it. From sorrow we learn to see joy and to live life. What is life without a little bit of sorrow, we can't be happy all the time. Although happiness is what we crave all our life.

For me the meaning of joy are the simple things in life, like leaving office after a hard day at work, that sure put a big smile on my face, waking up to a good cup of tea in the morning, the smiles of my love ones.. its nothing gigantic but it did make me happy.. sorrow is all around us but if we can see beyond the sorrow and pain I think there is a glimmer of hope and joy ..

I love this poem...

On Joy and Sorrow
Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater thar sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

I just felt like in love...

I'm having my clingy week this week... Just bear with me peeps... I found this really lovely song from the group Naff.. its goes something like deep down inside me, i still believe youre The One.. sigh... have you ever had that feelings of lost love and a tinge of regret that it didnt work out.. i know if something is not meant to be yours its not meant to be yours, probably we all want to belong to someone, but then there are circumstances.. here's my list of clingy songs, not much but still painfully clingy enuf.. enjoy...



tis one about secret admirer cum I-can't-get-the guy-i-love & im secretly idolising you (aka stalker lah)..



tis one is about love tringle, i love you but i also love someone else.. kns..


tis one is just plain painful.. loved it..

Should she just walk away...

I'm sorry blog been ignoring you for the longest time ever..I need to pour my hearts out on a topic really close to my heart.. yes, love .. i love to talk about love...

Does true love really exist in real life? I mean we have seen countless movies about love stories, tragic ones, sad ones, happy ones and the list goes on.. but the question that I always asked myself does true love really exist?

Based on my limited love adventure, basically it revolves around the first 5secs i laid my eyes on him, its good enough to judge whether i can see myself with this guy or not, there are times when i wished the ground would just swallow me if my date turn up errm not up to my likings.. hehe..not too sure about man how they judge us woman. I've been a sucker for guys who suit my so called ideal pleasing- to- the- eyes standard, but i do cut them some slack lah, sometimes, of course. So pardon me if i sound too judgemental, some ugly guys are nice, well they have to right?, some good looking ones are sucky well they have all the right, wrong?.. so when does it strike a balance now, i dont have the answer now, i might have to ponder on that.

Speaking of which i've not had a single date this year, earlier this year I told myself i need a break from the dating scene after a many many disappointing ones last year, well i guess my break has been a bit too long, time to dust off that hi heels and start wearing proper make up Rina or else you'd just be the brinjal left on the shelves.. kanasai...here we go again...

I miss Perth already...

Its my game plan to blog every single day i was there last week but unfortunately i cant get any internet connection hence i have to blog now,,.. its a bit too late but better late than never..

I had a fantastic time downunder.. some say Perth is a boring city but not to me.. i had fallen in love with it, basically i need the serenity, the quiet and tranquil environment away from the hustle and noise of city like Singapore.. In the morning when i woke up i can actually hear the birds chirping, funny noises, according to San its probably Kookabura bird.. i instantly remembered the song we were force to sing in primary school... kookabura sits on the old gum tree merry merry king of the bush is he.. laugh kooka bura laugh, kooka bura gay your life must be.. something like tat...I wonder does gay means happy or gay as in homosexual,.. hmm i think its the latter.. hahaha

anyways back to Perth, San picked me up at the airport around 10pm on my first nite in Perth Fri, 31Aug, drove me straight to his home in Subiaco and shortly after we went clubbing at Club Amber, he brought with him his housemate, Ulrik Christensen from Denmark. He is a funny character, that irritates the shit out of San, poor darling... lucky he is quite cute if not he had him packing rite away, after clubbing we went to the Kings Park in the wee hours of the morning around 2 something.. it was freezing cold, i didnt expect it to be this chilly... the coldness got into my bones and to my entire body... i was shivering but was so excited to see the city skyline at nite.. it was about 14-16degree .. its a miracle that i didnt turn to ice.. hehe..

I will post some of my pix when i got time.. right now i got to get some sleep.. tomorrow im going to KL again.. got some secret mission there... will keep you posted... in the meantime.. wait for my next adventure in Perth aka Retirement Village...

Goodnite and sleep tight,

love

Life as you know it..

Recent events that happened to me and my family had made me realised that you can't take life for granted. I believe God has given us challenges for us to face so that after going through the rough patches, we will realise and learn from that experience and grow as an individual.

It is a test of our strength and our faith to HIM. When you think that you are miserable and the going is really tough, there are others who had to go through even tougher challenges.

My mum always pacify me that this is what real life is all about, no challenges no life.. I guess she is right, that simple mantra will be etched in my heart forever and i know i will grow stronger and stronger as the days goes by..

Some theory to ponder = positive parenting equates positive children.. hehehe plus i just found out that im a decendent of the Bugis pirates that invades south Malaysia during the 18th Century...hmm no wonder im such a brave soul.. muahahaha...

No doubt its Gwen...

live in concert tonite, i just came back.. she was fantastic, her rapport with the crowd was dynamic.I've never been to a concert and saw a singer who'd just jumped out of stage, ran through the crowds and just sang amidst the sea of people, .. Oh boy, Gwen did just that. The bodyguards must have had a heart attack.!!! I bet she must had felt liberated to be amongst her fan. She is really a boy-girl, whom i really can identify with, the i dont really care what you think of me, i just want to have fun and you can feel that she is a normal person like you and me, its just that she made it.

Her music are still ska-based which is her forte and she can't leave that Anaheim part of her, i guess she can leave No Doubt but No Doubt can't leave her.. I simply love her for her sincerity towards her fans, you can see how earnest she is in thanking her fans and just couldnt believe that she is here again to entertain us..Good job Gwen, i will definately see more of you.. your fab abs are my inspiration right now..

Boys dont cry.. The Cure was...

dope man.. they played for 3hrs, 3 solid hours .. im very impressed with them, with 2 encore and many many songs im not asking for much, i really had my S$78 worth man... and Robert Smith is so shy, for a gigantic man like him he behaves like a shy boy in a candy store, he really wants it but too shy to ask, he is just a sweetie..After the concert Nofa and me just keep giggling to ourself, too high from the overdose of The Cure.. i am cured afterall.. too bad they didnt play my fav song 'A letter to Elise' but Robert Smith and the boys make it up by playing my other fav songs, like lullaby, boys dont cry, lovesong, Close to u, pictures of u and many many many more.. i am a happy girl... Those who want to view my video, may go to my facebook.com.. enjoy..

I would say I'm sorry If I thought that it would change your mind,but I know that this time I've said too much
been too unkind I try to laugh about it,covering it up with lies, i tried to laugh about it hiding the tears in my eyes, coz boys dont cry.. boys dont cry..

My first real solo trip to...

Perth!!!... yes, ive finally decided that i will make a solo trip downunder.. after procastinating for years, ive finally decided to just do it..When Caitlin was in Sydney i kept saying I'll come I'll come and i did not, she got married and left for New York. This time around im not taking any chances, San Darling is there so im just gonna pack up and go. San was so excited when I told him im coming, he sms me at 3am on Sat to asked for my flight details. Love him always..

I guess, I have to start being brave to lead my life alone, I mean I'm not 18 anymore, I need to confront my fears and just go with it..Probably, if im brave enough to do this trip on my own, who knows i'd be brave enough to take on bigger things in life like i dont know, the M word? Hmm, rite now I dont even want to think about it, I know someday I have to but right now I'm just too excited about my trip. I told mum about my plans and she is cool about it. Thank God I have a very understanding mum, she is the best. If dad is around im sure he is cool with it too.. God Bless.

Get ready Jennifer Hudson, Kate Moss is coming...

Sorry blog i have not been fondling you enough....

..yes im such a slacker .. haven't been updating tis webbie for a very long long long time.. i just cant find any inspiration to write.. in smple english, im having writer's block..like real... heee..

Yesterday was my mum's birthday, we had a simple celebration, kak nong and nofa came by to visit mum, they had been very sweet to me, they treat mum as theirs as well, just like how i treat Pak Din their father as mine. I miss Pak Din, he is in Surabaya now happily living his retired life there. I'm happy for him. Recently I'v been thinking about Pak Din, i miss his dangdut singing session in his cab when he used to drive us around for dinner, Nofa and me used to joget joget in the cab.. .those were the fun days sia.. Why must all the good things come to an end, why must the rainbow be blocked by HDB flats just when im begining to enjoy its beauty.. why why why..and why am i feeling so sorry for nothing right now...duuhh i need to chill..

Recently a guy fren of mine let's just call him J, suggested that i enrolled in an internet dating webbie for singles, a muslim one. I went in to look see look see, goodness me, its such a disappointment I don't mean to be crude, but they all looked like they are ready to bomb the next tallest building in some country.. hahaha.. sorry J, I cannot bring myself to do it.. I wish you good luck in your search.. I will just stick to my Mat Rockers ok.. hehehe..

Enough of me being a sceptic, i think internet dating can be a success if you have faith, and willing to take the risk, as for me im not brave enough to start something that I can't finish. Period. I know i got not much time left to search for The One, but i believe that The One will show himself soon just like how the phoenix rises from the ashes.. hahaha.. keep on dreaming Rina...

To all the Mat Rockers out there i dedicate this below song to you la brader.. Goodnite & love you many many, hahaha...

rockers juga manusia
punya rasa punya hati
jangan samakan dengan
pisau belati...

3rd KL trip...

everythings safe and sound, both my cousins are happily wedded and in wedding bliss.. how fast time flies, they are going into another phase of life, im really happy for them. hmm...

You're my favourite mistake..

To all the guys that i went out with, whom i fell in love and sadly they didn't love me back, you really made me who i am today and thanks for builidng up my self esteem & confidence to find true love, this poem is for you


to all my favourite mistakes,
its sad that you didnt give me a chance to make you happy,
i can make you happy, I know..
if only you allow me to rest in a tiny space of your heart
i promise I'd fill it with love and blanket you with my warmth
I 'll make all your sorrows go away..it will go away
my favourite mistakes,
how i wish i can hear the little tenderness in your breath
while you were sleeping,
to hear your endless laughter all day
to touch your skin against mine
seeing you so happy makes me fine..
but i know i can never be that little queen in your heart
cause you're my favourite mistakes
and i can only look back
and hope that you'd look my way...although i know it will
never happen that way..ever..

Written by: AnaMoss Shakespeare

I guess its fate...

I've not been diligently updating this blog..over the past week, in summary, came back fm KL, went for job interview, went karaoke with the girls, all within the span of 1 week.. by weekend i was damned exhausted and had a minor fever and headache on Sun.. all in a span of 1 week..im proud of myself, for achieving such humongous task,considering i dont really go out much these days..

About the interview, i got the job, the interviewers loved me (tats what they said) but they can't pay me the amount that I wanted. They tried to negotiate but im putting my feet down. I said no. Anyways im just testing water, see what my market value is like, and also deep down inside i still love DDB although im too ashamed to admit this. I met a lot of lovely people that shares the same idealism in life as me, Ahwei, Kak Mas, Alicia, Ahzar, Jaime (she left us for greener pastures in other agency), and my Irish ex boss, Simon who left and came back and whom im so comfortable working with and im still trying to teach him more Malay words.

Time really flies and I've been a resident here for 3 years now, a record breaker for my life in The Agency. I guess I'll be continuing to irritate our next door neighbour with our constant noise and sudden outburst of contagious laughter. If i move on i have to start all over again i might or might not like it, but for now i guess good things are here to stay, its not gonna end, not yet...My mum did tell me if the money is not good, just stay on who knows its a blessing in disguise. Yes, mum i will heed your precious advise, at the end of the day, its all about the moolah and also kak mas said, follow what your heart says, and im hearing this little voices that says 'stay on Rina better things will come your way and always be thankful for what God has given you..' Alhamdullilah..


love...
ana

2nd KL trip..

within a period of 2 weeks, woohoo, am i a train-setter or what? (i took the Ktm fm ahwei's place).. anyways, went to my aunt's new home in Bangi, fantastic view,.. up by the hill, no high rise buildings, no traffic jams, no noise, nothing and the air is fresh, plus i get to see stars up in the dark nite,i have to put on a sweater whenever i stepped out of the house, it was blissful..really so so peaceful.. if all goes well, i might get my own family home there,.. if all goes well.. we'll see...

rite now, im just too tired to write some more, just tat in another two weeks time I'll be visiting my aunt again, this time for my cousin's wedding, its gonna be a blast..

Goodnite love...

Horn babe...

My babe brought back her horn pipes from school yesterday.. I think she has talent... do us proud baby..enjoy...

Why do good things always comes to an end...

..is it how the world works, does the 'good things in life' a recycled concept? whereby we need to let it go so that others can enjoy it, i dont know.. it seems like my life has been episodes of shortlived happiness, longlive misery.. im accustomed to it by now. It seems like misery just loves me. I've learn to deal with it, painfully but I'll get by. Some people see beauty in hardship, others just give up, its up to you what you want in life and i hope im again strong enough to go through it..

Bad parenting kills my appetite..

I just finished watching 'The pursuit of happyness'.. i cried buckets.. I want to meet Chris Gardner...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Gardner

On the other note, I encountered a puking incident while waiting for Nofa at BK Vivo city, a useless mum threatened her toddler son with the harshest words imagined. She threatened to smash the toddler's mouth if he ever said anothing again and before that she kept asking him to keep quiet in a really abusive tone. I was numbed, come on, he is just a toddler, a child will make noise for heaven's sake. I was trying not to burst into tears, that mum doesnt know how bloody lucky she is to be blessed with a child. I was just too stunned to react, i then noticed that my eyes started to well in tears that i tried hard to control, i quickly wiped it with my serviette. Some people don't bloody know how to count their blessings and to witness that incident just made me sick to my stomach, i don't feel that hungry anymore and i was really really angry...God is testing me again..

p.s: if you can be kind to animals, please be kind to children as well.

Love at 10th sight...

I had breakfast in KL this morning, its my first solo trip here to KL, if not for work this trip would never had happened.. as i looked around i actually fell in love with this place, everything seems so new and foreign to me, although I've been to this place so many times before, i guess its the attachment to this place or solidarity u might call it, that im feeling. I'm planning to burst my bank by doing more shopping..I promised myself I'm gonna do a roadtrip one day to KL and this time I will be driving and my baby will be next to me.. I'm in love..


Check out the datuk posing in the middle of busy kl junction.. priceless...


dream home, hope to come true really soon...

Watsup mr Sun?..

Gosh the weather's been unpredictable this couple of days.. the heat is terrible its equivalent to the heat in Bali.. its painful to the core...I must admit i used to love the sun.. still remember how i used to go to the beach alot and sun-tanned.. I always wanted to get that gorgeous tan but my skin is the sort that no matter how long im in the sun, i'd still be fair and lovely.. sigh.. I guess im not cut out to be a Spg...

I know to blog about the weather is horribly lazy and plain boring but i need to get lotsa things out of my chest hence the intro..Its just that im mentally tired, tired of thinking about the future, tired of telling myself that yeah, its gonna be alright.. sometimes its nice to have someone special who tells u that, it sounds a whole lot better and you'd feel much more loved. Love? what is love? its been so remote and distant to me, i dont think i know how to love anymore..I can go on and on and indulge myself in self-loathing and hatred, but no me being me, albeit tired of consoling myself, the words kept ringing in my head 'its gonna be ok'.. well, the sun might burn me, the heat might scald me but hey im still here, someone might love me tomorrow.. for sure.. i guess.. probably not.. lets be postitively negative, whatever it means...btw, i do pysche myself by listening to this song too, Shahrukh never fails to make my heart skip a beat... enjoy..

My retirement plan..

Ambitious i know, but hey we need to start somewhere right?/

My 5 foolproof plan (no need financial planner one... )

1. to keep money to buy a house in Msia, why malaysia u may ask? hmm tats where there are tonnes of rice and im a rice queen so last count i have about $250 in my little stash convert to RM about RM562.. i think can achieve la..

2. to horn my skill at driving so tat can be a qualified and trained school bus driver.. i love children so that's why school bus and i can teach them the song 'who stole the cookie fm the cookie jar'... sounds like fun...

3. to keep fit.. tats why i signed up for yoga.. must be able to control my breathing while walking with my cane when old mah..

4. to learn another skill, perhaps cooking or baking, maybe can open one shop selling donuts or brownies or goreng pisang..

5. to find a super duperlicious filthy rich husband, so i no need to do all of the above.. hahaha.. dream on...

this melancholy in me..

its the heavy feelings again infecting my brain, my soul, my body, my mind, my emotions everywhere..its not helping that im coming down with the flu bug.. the weather been crazy here in spgland, its excruciatingly hot in the morning, drizzling by noon and raining by evening.. where can u get the 3 weather conditions in a day?.. SPGLAND have..

aiya anyways.. no use complaining its only gonna make my face frown and more wrinkles formation.. so let me have my good nite sleep and im gonna look beautiful again tommorow... tis song has been in my head the whole day.. say it by nelly furtado.. you dont mean nothing at all to me.. no u dont mean nothing at all to me.. oh u meant everything to me...

hidden talent..

... for some strange reason, my niece asked me to cut her hair yesterday, she refused to go to the salon for a proper haircut as we always did.. so last nite, after work, full fm dinner i started to snip, snip, snip...i told her my fee would be more expensive, at S$16, she said ok and well, paid me with Twisties.. thanks! baby..haircut anybody??

Quotable quotes...

Some bullshit, hope you'd appreciate it....




'Enjoy this beautiful day cause you seldom get to enjoy it'.. - fm Desperate housewife

'Give hope to those who needs it, cause hope is the only cause of their happiness'..

'One's eccentricity is other people's madness' - 'The God of Small Things' ...



'I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs' - Andy Warhol

'The only way to get rid of that heavy feelings in your heart is to learn to let go'...

'I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows' -Andy Warhol

Chieonging with the girls...

Just came back fm chieonging with ahzar, ahwei, ahgoh and aisha it's been quite a while since I've let my hair down.. We decided to go MOS, heheh..its only my 2nd time there.. i miss my sparring kaki nofa, it would be more fun with her, they played our cucuk langit (sky-pocking) song hahaha, rabaks sak.. .

All of us had fun, i know the girls did, ahwei stil hasn't lost touch with her zoukette days.. hahaha..its so much fun to just let loose and be silly...

Before i go, I shall leave you with this profound afterthought..

'You can leave zouk but you can't leave the Zoukette in you..' Muahahahaha...

Goodnite people.. wherever you are..

This ol spice...

I was at Mustafa with Nofa when i stumbled upon this fond memory. Its a bottle Of Ice Eu De Cologne.. Might not be special to anyone but its very dear to me.. My dad used to dabble this magic on his face after shaving, he used it since i was a kid. I remembered putting it on my hand and its coolness just tingles.. I cant help but to hold the bottle in my hand and put it on my cheek, reminiscing, oblivious to the crowds..I was happy and sad at the same time, it reminded me of dad..I know i can't cry then so i did right after i got home...I missed him so much..This is one man i will never forget and get over for the rest of my life..

My Good Friday...

Went to Clementiwoods for buffet lunch to celebrate Nana's advanced 21st birthday...Wat a good way to start the long hols..
Happy Birthday Nana!!


Sushi, Oyster with cheese, chilli mussels and lotsa love...food photography courtesy of baby...


Baby too monkeyed from her oyster cheese...


alas.. the day ended with our trip to Ikea, just a stone's throw away.. perfect..

Things that is beyond my control..

...like falling in love or so i think..

I had a recurring dream about this guy that I used to like a lot, it almost felt like im actually in love with him, but knowing myself it could just be that clingy feelings of infatuation (he is very cute btw - tall, dark & handsome-just like the knight in that shining armour who would rescue you if your name is Cinderella), it did feel like love but actually i know its not..I have this habit of confusing/deceiving myself- again beyond my control.. so back to that dream, well in my dream he loved me back, so i guess it is the opposite, so sad right? but being the optimistic/positive me i would love to believe that it's his lost, firstly because my name is not Cinderella, secondly he can't enjoy my wicked jokes (free for life one-no need subscription fee) and finally he could be gay..nyuk...

moral of the story: before sleep wash your legs..heheh..

The value of love..

Anybody knows the value of love?? give you a clue ok.. hmmph uumph.. actually yours truly also not too sure.. I had a really serious discussion.. hee..like real..with my gf while waiting for the 9pm mrt towards Woodlands (yalar abit old now so must go home early to go to bed ;P ..anyways the question just popped.. Gf said people nowadays get married because of 'you-like-me-i-like-you-we-get-married' blinded by love, but do they stop to think, are they compatible with each other in the first place?

Give you a Q & A :
You're the last child or only girl in the family, and you're so used to being pampered and get what u want, (read: me (only girl) gf (last child) we must find a husband..

A) only child B) last child C) first in the family & has a few siblings to look after..

Ans: (C)
This first child in the family knows about responsibility at a very young age, so this hubby of yours, can tolerate your nonsense (read: temper tantrums/mood swings/help go buy groceries/change lightbulbs etc).. plus he will take care of you and be very responsible..but what if he's the only child? havent discuss about this maybe next forum..

I looked at her and said sorry I don't get you, firstly im not pampered & excuse me im quite independent.. she said no, you might think that you're strong independent etc but think back during your childhood, your dad dotes on you and whatever you want you get right? I said ya, then bingo u see you're quite manja rite? i told her but i dont throw my weight around as an adult ok, she said ya but you get wat you want as a child rite? Deep down inside you have that feelings of wanting to be manja & taken care of even though you are so independent and strong & can do almost anything by yourself..i just nodded my head silently..

Q:
So for example, if you get a husband that is also the only son in the family of 4 girls (read: never have to wash his own plate after eating -damnit or the last son in the family (read: everything also no need to do - so no responsibility)

A: then you are doomed man, everything also you have to do including, find money & putting food on the table...

It made sense right? it all boils down to upbringing, to me im justified about the responsiblity part and i did mentioned that both my parents are first in the family and it's till death do us apart, so how do you explain that? Simple, they just have the sense of understanding for each other, if one party is angry the other party don't provoke. My dad always helped around the house and it helped mum, who had to take care of us 4 hooligans-me included.. so i guess its their love for each other, wanting to make things work and also the chemistry between them..

I envied my mum who always had my dad cracked their secret jokes in the kitchen and always laughing even if it's just the two of them doing dishes..but since dad passed on, im her little clown..

Secretly i do wish to find someone that i can just be myself and have our own secret jokes, then I guess married life is not that bad after all... hmmmm....

Every breath you take...

One contestant sang this song on American idol today, bet this song is well loved by stalkers, yours truly included..enjoy..

Out with my girlfriend..

Went out with Nofa today, havent met her for nearly 2 months now, missed her so much.. We walked around bugis and couldnt find any nice place to eat so we settled for the chi-cha place infront of bugis junction near liang seah st and had a wonderful plate of rojak. Both of us werent tat hungry, so hence the sharing..We had a good catch up.. ended up playing pool at lucky plaza, it was a a good game can't remember who won though coz we were busy sharing our missed lives for the past 2 month, am looking forward to the next catchin up... love ya darling..

By the way its Aaron aka Harun birthday today, i msg him like at 2 am just now, bet he is in dreamland..he will be damn amuse lor if he find my msg at that time, wonder wat he's gonna say, maybe something like this 'katija u msg me at 2am???!!! with ur supermodel life im not surprised.. ' hahaha harun calls me katija its the malay version of Kate moss and i call him harun, go figure, yes its that warped..

The Convention on the Rights of the Child

During homework checking & catching up just now, my niece flipped open this little booklet and read out to me, 'aunty, every child has the right to leisure, play..' at the same time showing me the page, i looked at her, a little shocked and read the whole sentence, still shocked i replied, 'adult also has the right to wallop a child if she misbehave'(of course i said it jokingly), and she just laughed cheekily at me..Hmm, my niece is exercising her rights to play and she based it on fact, I'll be damned. She could be a lawyer when she grows up...

Happiness is .. trip to the zoo..

Just came back fm the zoo today with my baby & mum.. good walking exercise for us.. My baby took the pixs attached & and also alot more, hmm i think she has a nick for photography as well, i trained her to use the camera since she was 6,so i guess i can rest and let her do all the snapping..So proud of my baby, nurul, nice pixs :)

Happiness is..retail therapy

Took leave today to go shopping!!!! Went to Arab Street to get some baju kurung's materials for my cousins weddings in June.. I know its a wee bit early but mum hand-sewd all our baju kurungs so that will give her some time to complete...Mum got herself a torquise songket set while i got myself a soft green set...really fabulous, im so tempted to load the pixs up but im a bit selfish to let people see before the wedding.. heee, as though im the blushing bride here.. maybe?..blah.. I'm ecstatic after i purchased them, had a really good deal fm the shop. I've been quite down this past week, post pms i guess, so this kinda of therapy lifted the moodiness abit, but not too often though, i'd be dead broke..

For the first time...

I drove an auto car today for my practical, it was dope man... for someone who can't multitask between the whole ABC thingy this was pure heaven... im regretting taking manual but when i envisioned myself driving a Pajero, i will get through this, i kept telllin my myself, i will suffer first before reaping the fruits of my hardwork.



My baby with my uncle's Pajero... Priceless...

One dizzy morning..

As i was typing away this morning around 11 ish, on my comp in the office, i felt a slight dizzy spell, a really weird kind.. i felt my chair moved a bit as though someone had gently pushed it fm behind.. i turned around to check if Olivier Z has been a naughty boy & trying to tease me or something.. so i just kept quiet..

Around lunch, Ahzar was asking Ahwei whether she felt her table shaking, Ahwei thought Ahzar been erasing her paper too hard .. I told them wat happened about the whole dizzy thing and just laugh it off and Simon thought he had a wee bit too much to drink this morning.. it turned out, there was a 6.3 richter scale earthquake in Sumatra.. Gosh, not funny...




btw, Olivier Z is our resident casper the friendly ghost in the office, hes known to reside in the auditorium, and also our 2nd floor, we'll talk about him some other day..

Not ready to make nice... Dixie Chicks

I just can't get over this Grammy big winners... love it love it love it...

Gubra

I've just finished watching 'Gubra' a continution frm the film 'Sepet'..Orked married a malay man, yes i dont believe she did it. If you watch 'Sepet,' Jason the chinese boy was love of her life, he died and i guess to nurse a broken heart, she just married anyone who can heal her. Big mistake..

This movie touches the subject of inter-racial marriage & love. In this case the main subject was between a Malay girl, Orked and a chinese boy and her hmm eccentric family..Lotsa of malay & chinese bashing, just like 'Sepet' but it was beautifully done that you actually quite agree with the sentiments.. In Orked's case the malay hubby had an affair and she found out about it. While quarrelling she shouted 'damn malay man' there's a tinge of regret in her voice i can sense..she married someone so wrong, in her case his race & his infidelity..

What i love about this story is how each character defines love, like Orked's parent's love towards each other, its so simple, the need to have someone that you truly love by your side and to be married to the right one, was so well-done, and then there the prostitute who sacrifices her dignity & self - just to earn 200 dollars more & to be robbed at the end of it, she was hoping of finding love & have a family but that is just a dream for her..

I guess we are all looking for the same things in life, love and to be loved, like how the movie ended, Orked married Jason's brother Alan, and a close up of her in bed being waken up by her mum for morning prayer.. really really beautiful..

Quote: The lamps are different but the lights are the same - Jelaludin Rumi..

Friends that matters...

Finally met up with San darling today, Asina and Za is there too, the last time i met up with Asina was last year at Womad. Dinner at Blubar in Little india, our usual haunt whenever San flew down from down under. This place has lotsa fond memories, i've brought quite a number of friends, my uncle from KL loves this place and also Bak fm Surabaya who introduce me to this place. The owner proudly claims he knows me, well he better be..Sadly, service is deteriorating, like our cheese naan, arrives quite late, but with us chatting & laughing away, ya it did help. Its good to be hangin out again, i mean we all have our own lives, San in Perth, Za always busy with work, same as Asina always busy partying.. heee..btw, after two blackouts and many many naans we decided to pop by Mustafa for some shopping... nice...

5 mins to end of my bday..

been procastinating to write this but i've got like another 5mins before its over.. Had lunch with my Malay kampungs kakaks at Far East Square just now, we have not met like for the last year or so, kak nana's bday was last week, Kak ani was exactly one mth ago, so we decided to come down for good to have a nice peaceful lunch which of course ends with tears of laughter non stop with our classic nonsense.. anyways, received lotsa of birthday wishes today, frm my darlings,lovers, scandals & friends alike heeee... i know i have been loved, im so touched by all who took the trouble to get me presents, im very very touched., thanks again guys. Mum made my fav curry mee, and she bought chocolates & cakes too, love her love her love her, mum even made a special birthday card with my baby with 'Happy birthday & good luck on your driving, hee.. i know i can pass my driving coz her wishes are the supernatural power that can make wonders & for me will definately come true..Thanks mak..

oh btw, San darling called me to say tat he touched down to sunny spgland, and tooot just like tat line got cut off, he didnt top up his hi-card yet.. aiyo, then call me at home im in the shower... this kakak really la, i call him at home also he's not in.. where are u darling.??? got lost in PIE/AYE issit???

My love ones..

Its my birthday tommorrow, yes another year has gone by, im gonna be 32 tis year, gosh i just felt like it was yesterday that i celebrated my 18th birthday, you know license to party & do stuff.. man i never imagine i could reach 32, but hey tomorrow i will..

My sista blanja me dinner at Clementiwood today, nice Sakura buffet dinner, such lovely place and food...thanks adik for blanja-ing kakak, we should do tat more often of course next time its on me ok... Nofa & me, celebrated my advanced birthday dinner last week, her maid has gone home for a month so no late nites, her time is precious i know but we'll catch up someday. Another good good good reason to celebrate my bday, my San darling is coming back fm perth tomorrow, we are suppose to go dinner tomorrow nite but my mummy has something in store for me, so we are gonna meet up on Thurs instead with the whole jing gang it is gonna be a blast - guess where? hahaha Blu bar at Desker road..well it is the Vday week and things are gonna be expensive, but at Blu Bar, hey all time fixed price, + you never know when u gonna get special service, errr..im talking about the butter chicken & cheese naan roti of course, dont get any naughty ideas ehh... hmm...

6000 years old embrace..

I was so touched by this article in the ST on Thurs, appropriately titled '6000 years embrace'. Even in death the couple were still embracing each other, it was a sight to behold, for a love sceptic like myself it renews my beliefs that love is actually out there even though its buried and yet to be found.. Of course we never really know what actually happened to the couple for them to be intertwined like tat..hmm, its probably a sign for me to never give up on finding true love?I had this pix & the song 'I love You' by Sarah Mclachlan in the background *sob* *sob*..

Are we still being colonized?

We were goofing around in the office, can't really remember about what, when suddenly Ah Zar proudly announce that she is actually angmo inside, all of us burst out laughing and another incident yesterday, Ah Wei's boss from London is coming down tomorrow and she's already practising on her english accent which sounded more australian, and declared that tomorrow onward till her boss leave on fri she will be speaking in queen's english, i cant help but to puke out loud.. of course we were all twanging & slanging along.. just another day at the office i should say..

The question is are we still being colonized? After more of 40 years of celebrating National day, putting up flags (the RC did it for our house, i can't be bothered, notice when you r at coffeeshop, the apek would go , yes sir? whenever an angmo is in queue but when it comes to your turn he'd go 'ya what u want?' I mean it's only natural to fear the unknown, but i believe angmo , asian, hispanic or black there's no difference.. God created all human beings as equal it's whats inside your heart that matters. Which brings to me a subject close to my heart, question like why dont u date an angmo..? Tricky, to me caucasians are too liberal, uncultured and their lifestyle is just not one im proud to be associated with and deep down inside I stil prefers my Malay man, ive met lotsa crummy ones, but i still believe there are nice pure malay guy out there..hmm last malay man standing, please identify yourself or i might just convert myself to an fts - thats foreign talent scouts the new updated version of spg...)

Post Traumatic week ..

im so glad its Sat, the week hasnt been good, work crisis, nurul's school crisis, my parallel parking crisis, the headache that went away just as fri came, that is something im happy about.. but hey its Sat and im gonna go soak in the sun..hopefully it doesnt rain.. mum prepared mee siam for breakfast..its gonna be a good weekend..

10 Things that worries me... to death..

1. My niece will have her own life and dont want to hang out with me anymore coz I'll be invading her privacy... (that day will come very soon... sigh)

2. I have only $0.55 balance in my POSB bank and the last meal I had was two days ago & im like 68..

3. My niece coming back and saying,'Aunty im pregnant' & shes not even married.. shit...

4. Hearing voices in my head when im alone... & i mean real voices...

5. Waking up one day old and wrinkled, wasted away on my death bed, ALONE...

6. All my good friends are happily married, with grown up kids, happy families when all i have is me, myself and i + my big car & house (hmm actually not that bad.. )

7. Losing the ability to use my limbs, .. like doing simple task and have to rely on others for basic needs..

8. Losing my mind to alzheimer, dementia and what not..no fun not recognising your love ones..

9. Not finding a husband, I mean a good husband who will love me unconditionally.. hmmm.. got such men meh???

10. My niece getting married before I do?? Helppppp...

To the left .. to the left..

hahaha.. finally the most honest song ive ever heard.. dumping a guy has never been so easy especially if you're Beyonce'....

enjoy it ladies..