I'm learning a lesson. Key suffix - ing , not ed. It's a process. If you asked me if it was okay for people to disagree I would say "You bet." So why is it that when people disagree with me I get angry or offended. Hmm. I guess I haven't really come to terms with disagreeing. But I am working on it.
For Christmas my Mom and Dad gave me a quote on wood that says:
"We find comfort among those who agree with us, growth among those who don't."
-Frank A. Clark
The other day I was having a conversation with someone (don't worry, it's not you) and we were disagreeing. We weren't really arguing but if I didn't get ahold of myself it was headed that way. So I changed the subject and continued on. Afterwards some words coming from nowhere (well, we know where they come from) said to me "it's okay to disagree." Our difference of opinion need not affect our relationship.
Wow.
I know that seems so obvious but it really hit me. And it was like a burden was lifted. I didn't need to be angry, defensive, or judgemental.
Alas, it is difficult to keep those peaceful feelings with me. But now I know it's possible. And it's true.
It IS okay to disagree.
miTunes
I love music.
I mean, I've always liked music. But I have realized the last couple weeks that I love music.
When I am happy, a favorite song can make me smile so big. Or when I need to smile big, a good song can bring me joy. REAL JOY. And when I want to wallow, music drowns me.
Richard got me an iPod for Mother's Day last year and (even without the added benefit of podcasts) it has been one of my favorite gifts ever.
So despite a neck-n-neck race I was thrilled to see that my fellow music lovers have won our cause. I know I spun the poll a little bit to give my music supporters an advantage. But hey, it is my blog right?
Because I am a natural peacemaker and I want to please ALL, I will put the player near the top where it is easy to access and turn off. (Even though I think it is hideous and disrupts my blog ambiance.)
Thanks for voting.
Maybe I can help you find a song that will help you feel something. And while I'm on the subject I want to thank my ballet teacher and other bloggers who have shared their music with me. I have discovered some of my favorite songs of late from these two sources.
I mean, I've always liked music. But I have realized the last couple weeks that I love music.
When I am happy, a favorite song can make me smile so big. Or when I need to smile big, a good song can bring me joy. REAL JOY. And when I want to wallow, music drowns me.
Richard got me an iPod for Mother's Day last year and (even without the added benefit of podcasts) it has been one of my favorite gifts ever.
So despite a neck-n-neck race I was thrilled to see that my fellow music lovers have won our cause. I know I spun the poll a little bit to give my music supporters an advantage. But hey, it is my blog right?
Because I am a natural peacemaker and I want to please ALL, I will put the player near the top where it is easy to access and turn off. (Even though I think it is hideous and disrupts my blog ambiance.)
Thanks for voting.
Maybe I can help you find a song that will help you feel something. And while I'm on the subject I want to thank my ballet teacher and other bloggers who have shared their music with me. I have discovered some of my favorite songs of late from these two sources.
buy used
When Cameron was about nine months old we would sit him on our laps while we were at the computer.
Unfortunately his "typing" was inconvenient at the least, destructive at worst.
I quickly remedied the situation with a trip to the DI and what I believed to be my best $1.25 purchase ever.
(Cameron & Richard January 2007) 
Cameron has recently started playing a Curious George game on the computer. It is very complicated, it involves the "up" arrow and the "down" arrow. Anyway- today Eli was feeling very left out while Cameron played and was distracting me from my project.
Cameron has recently started playing a Curious George game on the computer. It is very complicated, it involves the "up" arrow and the "down" arrow. Anyway- today Eli was feeling very left out while Cameron played and was distracting me from my project. So in a moment of genius I jumped from my craft table, dug out the $1.25 keyboard and Eli and Cameron played happily for nearly 40 minutes.
(Is that too long to let Cameron play the Curious George shape game?)
I know that giving the younger child an artificial device and letting him believe he is actually playing the game is the oldest trick in the book. But that is not going to stop me from using it.
I have high hopes that keyboard will continue to serve me well.
a picture feast for the starving blog
when a request is made for pictures, a mother is happy to oblige
These pictures aren't so flattering. Eli didn't get all his water into his mouth, and Cameron has had a perpetually chapped face the last couple weeks.
Cameron decided that my headbands make great "racing" (his word) visers. They remind me of that character from Star Trek... what was his name? You know, the one Lamar Burton from Reading Rainbow played?
I put on old t-shirts while they paint to save their clothes from watercolor mayhem.
Eli is just a thirsty little guy. Whenever he is upset our first response is beverage. That usually works. At bedtime he requires three things. A blankie (or four or five of them). His monkey (which in this picture is the brown blur under his chin). And a drink of water. In a recent development he now insists on keeping the cup with him. It used to be that after he had a drink before bed I would put the cup away but a few nights ago he was adamant that the cup stay in his grasp.
Um, okay.
I'll just hate myself when it gets to be potty training time.
a friend
I was so happy last night. (This picture is the result of Richard telling me that the blog was "starving" for pictures.) Anyway, I thought of this poem my Grandma wrote and gave me to a long time ago. 
Give Me a Friend
Give me a friend and I'll wary along,
My vision may vanish, my dream may go wrong;
My wealth I may lose, or my money may spend,
But I'll warry along, if you give me a friend.
Give me a friend, and my youth may depart.
But still I'll be young in the house of my heart.
Yes, I'll go laughing right on to the end.
Whatever the years, if you give me a friend.
I'm glad I'm not old yet, but I am also glad to have friends.
It's not you, It's me
Some blogs I follow existed long before I knew what a widget was. Most have mentioned times during their "blog life" where they dabbled in a comment-free existence.
That time has come for me. It has gotten a little ridiculous the number of times per day that I check for comments, the lengths I have gone to to elicit comments, and the way a lack of comments can influence my mood.
So, dear readers, if something really moves you feel free to email me. But now you are free from obligatory contributions. Read, view and enjoy guilt free!
That time has come for me. It has gotten a little ridiculous the number of times per day that I check for comments, the lengths I have gone to to elicit comments, and the way a lack of comments can influence my mood.
So, dear readers, if something really moves you feel free to email me. But now you are free from obligatory contributions. Read, view and enjoy guilt free!
What If You're Wrong
The way I interact with people around me is greatly influenced by what I perceive to be their feelings about me. My behaviors toward them are a response, in great part, to the various "messages" I feel they are sending me.
For example; the mail lady. I perceive that she has no vested interest in my life. Therefore I feel a wave or a smile are sufficient communication for maintaining our relationship. If you can even call it that.
Another example; a co-worker. I perceive that she thinks I am naive, and I therefore take all opportunities to prove myself otherwise.
Do you follow? I don't use my perceptions as a sole guide for my behavior, I have other influences such as my morals, impulses, and my emotions at any given moment. But as I said, the feelings I believe other people have towards ME do influence the way I treat them.
Well I recently had an experience where I realized that my perceptions were dead wrong. My associations with a certain individual led me to believe she thought I was ... well...
She had no use for me.
Or so I thought.
Come to find out, she admires me.
Wha?
After letting myself feel flattered for awhile I started to think about how differently I would have treated her if I had only known that she liked me. Then of course - I started to wonder how many other people I ignore or disregard because I am so sure "they don't like me".
So I have determined to give myself a little more credit and give everyone else the benefit of the doubt. Already I can feel a greater sense of happiness and self-contentment when I choose to believe that people do like me and I therefore make a greater effort towards friendliness.
It never occurred to me that lacking self-esteem was making me so selfish.
**Disclaimer: I generally do not discuss scenarios on my blog if the people involved actually read my blog. So rest assured that you are not the person described in this post, or any other post. Thanks for reading!
For example; the mail lady. I perceive that she has no vested interest in my life. Therefore I feel a wave or a smile are sufficient communication for maintaining our relationship. If you can even call it that.
Another example; a co-worker. I perceive that she thinks I am naive, and I therefore take all opportunities to prove myself otherwise.
Do you follow? I don't use my perceptions as a sole guide for my behavior, I have other influences such as my morals, impulses, and my emotions at any given moment. But as I said, the feelings I believe other people have towards ME do influence the way I treat them.
Well I recently had an experience where I realized that my perceptions were dead wrong. My associations with a certain individual led me to believe she thought I was ... well...
She had no use for me.
Or so I thought.
Come to find out, she admires me.
Wha?
After letting myself feel flattered for awhile I started to think about how differently I would have treated her if I had only known that she liked me. Then of course - I started to wonder how many other people I ignore or disregard because I am so sure "they don't like me".
So I have determined to give myself a little more credit and give everyone else the benefit of the doubt. Already I can feel a greater sense of happiness and self-contentment when I choose to believe that people do like me and I therefore make a greater effort towards friendliness.
It never occurred to me that lacking self-esteem was making me so selfish.
**Disclaimer: I generally do not discuss scenarios on my blog if the people involved actually read my blog. So rest assured that you are not the person described in this post, or any other post. Thanks for reading!
Ray of sunshine
So the real sun hasn't shown its glorious face for days around these parts. But the good news train has entered the station bringing a different sort of radiant joy.
A "Briefing Manual" for my expedition to Peru arrived in the mail this week. Have I mentioned that I am going to Peru in two months? More details later, or look here.
Three years ago I attended a continuing education course about volunteer opportunities for dental hygienists.
I came home inspired and motivated and told Richard I was going to go. We picked a year -2009- and now let the countdown begin to March 23rd.
winter blues
Around here we've been mixing up a melancholy cocktail.
Ingredients:
*one bad cold
*a husband/father away on business
*an inversion (readily available in Boise if you're lacking)
The antidote?
Well first choice would be sunshine and a good dose of Richard.
Ingredients:
*one bad cold
*a husband/father away on business
*an inversion (readily available in Boise if you're lacking)
The antidote?
Well first choice would be sunshine and a good dose of Richard.
But we'll settle for doughnuts. 
Oh, Richard had a Birthday
Richard turned 28 on 1.8.09. I don't think we are to that stage yet where we need to be secretive about our ages. Maybe that is just my way of convincing myself that we are still young. To not admit our ages to would be a sure indication that we are old.
Anyway- birthday photos: 
How many years until we are allowed to open our own gifts again?
Richard wanted key lime pie for his birthday. Hmm. Six years and I didn't even know he liked key lime pie. The boys loved it too.
Bankie: Part Two
You may recall Eli soliciting Cameron's assistance in retrieving a certain blanket.
It is now clear exactly what he had in mind.
A lesson in love
I remember one particularly difficult time in my life when I first had to put my faith to test. My brother was experiencing a painful trial and the rest of the family were suffering along with him. My mom pointed out to me one day that if we really believe what we say we do, these difficult times shouldn’t be so difficult.
I am now attempting something difficult in different ways. But based on my belief, it shouldn’t be difficult. The belief? The best way I can describe it is a primary song.
“Jesus said love everyone. Treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you.”
Everyone? I’ve had my moments in life where I’ve had to search the depths of my charity barrel for love for an individual. In 8th grade a boy named Woody teased me relentlessly. It was more than just teasing, it was harrassment. Measures were taken by the school to keep us far apart. The nobility of it made forgiveness come somewhat easily. He was no longer tormenting me, and I had been taught to “bless them that curse you”.
But now, as I contemplate other situations in my life where I encountered people who are difficult to love, I realize that in general I’ve just avoided those people. The difference in the circumstance at present, is that I believe this person needs my love and friendship. I have felt strongly, in fact, that I should make my best effort to have a good relationship with her.
So what is making such a bond so hard? For starters, the reasons I have to believe she wants my friendship are based on subtleties. Her clear and unambiguous communication is usually harsh and sometimes rude. Further, she is actively involved in the life of someone I care about, and her influence (from where I stand) is generally for the worse.
I can’t really say that my efforts at present are sincere. But I have adopted that age-old adage “Fake it ‘til ya make it”.
I welcome any advice. For now, the following quote keeps me going.
“When frustration and impatience challenge charity, hope braces our resolve and urges us to care for our fellowmen even without expectation of reward.” – President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
I am now attempting something difficult in different ways. But based on my belief, it shouldn’t be difficult. The belief? The best way I can describe it is a primary song.
“Jesus said love everyone. Treat them kindly too. When your heart is filled with love, others will love you.”
Everyone? I’ve had my moments in life where I’ve had to search the depths of my charity barrel for love for an individual. In 8th grade a boy named Woody teased me relentlessly. It was more than just teasing, it was harrassment. Measures were taken by the school to keep us far apart. The nobility of it made forgiveness come somewhat easily. He was no longer tormenting me, and I had been taught to “bless them that curse you”.
But now, as I contemplate other situations in my life where I encountered people who are difficult to love, I realize that in general I’ve just avoided those people. The difference in the circumstance at present, is that I believe this person needs my love and friendship. I have felt strongly, in fact, that I should make my best effort to have a good relationship with her.
So what is making such a bond so hard? For starters, the reasons I have to believe she wants my friendship are based on subtleties. Her clear and unambiguous communication is usually harsh and sometimes rude. Further, she is actively involved in the life of someone I care about, and her influence (from where I stand) is generally for the worse.
I can’t really say that my efforts at present are sincere. But I have adopted that age-old adage “Fake it ‘til ya make it”.
I welcome any advice. For now, the following quote keeps me going.
“When frustration and impatience challenge charity, hope braces our resolve and urges us to care for our fellowmen even without expectation of reward.” – President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
our renovated living space
I finally took some pictures of what things look like post-leak/flood/chaos.
But I put them on my other, neglected blog.
www.secondratepursuits.blogspot.com
What do you think of the yellow paint? (I want positive responses only. There is a lot on the line.)
But I put them on my other, neglected blog.
www.secondratepursuits.blogspot.com
What do you think of the yellow paint? (I want positive responses only. There is a lot on the line.)
Me, smiling
This morning Cameron went back to preschool. Eli was asleep when he left so after waking up and not finding him he asked for "Cam-uhn" relentlessly. All morning, all around the house "Cam-uhn.... Cam-uhn." At last Cameron came home and a little later I realized while Eli was missing him so much.
Cameron was playing with his cars on the hallway floor and Eli was trying to get his attention. (The same way Cameron repeatedly says "Mom, Mom, Mom MOMMY! to get mine.)
"Cam-uhn, Cam-uhn.... Cam-uhn.
CAM-UHN!"
He gets right in Cameron's face and Cameron finally says
"What?"
"Bankie."
"Oh, you need your blankie?"
Cameron then gets up from his cars and goes into their bedroom to retrieve Eli's blanket from his crib, where it was out of his reach. Cameron then goes back to his cars and resumes his play.
Eli notices me across the room watching the whole thing unfold. He says "bankie" and gives me a grateful and contended smile.
A simple thing, yes. The kind of thing that only a mother can appreciate.
Cameron was playing with his cars on the hallway floor and Eli was trying to get his attention. (The same way Cameron repeatedly says "Mom, Mom, Mom MOMMY! to get mine.)
"Cam-uhn, Cam-uhn.... Cam-uhn.
CAM-UHN!"
He gets right in Cameron's face and Cameron finally says
"What?"
"Bankie."
"Oh, you need your blankie?"
Cameron then gets up from his cars and goes into their bedroom to retrieve Eli's blanket from his crib, where it was out of his reach. Cameron then goes back to his cars and resumes his play.
Eli notices me across the room watching the whole thing unfold. He says "bankie" and gives me a grateful and contended smile.
A simple thing, yes. The kind of thing that only a mother can appreciate.
New Tradition?
We Halls are way into our traditions. Or at least the females in the family. Bowling on New Year's Eve wasn't a tradition before...
but I sense it could be.
This expression says "What do you mean I am too little to bowl?" (That is little Antonia in the background. We sure love having a baby girl in the family.)
A good buddy makes everything in life more fun. Cameron and Charlie were high-fiving it (there I go, turning non-verbs into verbs by adding "ing" to the end, again...) throughout the bowling extravaganza. There were only six of us actually bowling but it was the longest bowling game I can recall.
It should be noted though, that I beat Richard for the first time in our married life, or dating life, or life together at all whatsoever.
(I could/should/would have fixed that red-eye, but my computer was being P A I N F U L L Y slow.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)