Stella's story is one that gets me teary every time I think about it. She is an absolute blessing in our lives. Stella came to us when we needed her most, and has taught me so much about life in the three short months she's been a part of our little family. I love her with all my heart.
Where to begin?... Before you were conceived, (yeah we're going way back) I was pregnant with a baby we later miscarried. That baby was to be born on September 22, 2011. I remember having some of my closest friends over for a little play group. Because I had wanted to be pregnant for quite some time I was so excited to tell everyone we we're expecting. While we talked (and mostly ate) it slowly came out all 5 of us were expecting. All within a month of each other! One of my best friends, we shared the the exact same due date!! I was so excited. I had a close neighbor who too was expecting in September as well. It was going to be a fun journey with all my dear friends.
The days (and weeks) after we miscarried were hard (that's another story...) and confusing, why in the world did this happen to us?
Now lets fast forward... We found out we were pregnant with you. Awesome! I loved being pregnant again and even better, with a GIRL! I couldn't wait for our due date in February.
When February arrived I was ready. I was totally huge, uncomfortable and excited for you to be here. We had gone to the doctor and I remember he had told us there was no way I was going to make it to our due date. You were ready to come soon. You would come any day. The night before the 14th I had contracted all night, had even woke dad up thinking we were going to have our baby that night. I knew I had an appointment the next day, so when my contraction didn't get close enough together, we figured we'd see what the doctor had to say that next day.... That next day... I can't write about it. The day forever has changed our lives. CJ died. We were numb.
We still went to the doctors amongst all the chaos and confusion the day brought. It was hard. Our doctor was so great. He said, "Go home, if you haven't had the baby by Thursday, we will talk at that appointment. She needs to get here."
We set up a date to be induced the next Tuesday. Now you decided you would take your time. My contractions totally slowed down.
Life was a mess the rest of the week. Still can't go there. But Tuesday finally arrived. Kelly had taken the boys for a sleepover while we went to the hospital early early the next morning. I remember the morning with dad. It was the first I had seen him happy in a while. We were so excited to finally meet you. We went to the hospital and had the best time. We spent the day together talking about your name, your middle name, what we thought you would look like, the crazy family in the next room :), it was a break we had needed, time together. alone. I loved it.
You came and it was the best. You brought so much happiness to us. We loved sitting holding you. Just looking. Loving.
It wasn't until later I learned. A friend sent me a text..."Don't want to bother you. I've herd about CJ and I've herd Sweet Stella has arrived. Praying you can find the peace that only Stella can bring at this time." It hit me like a ton of bricks. Stella
was the only thing bringing us peace at that time. You brought us happiness when we were so sad about CJ's death. You taught me a huge lesson. A lesson about Heavenly Father. A lesson I knew but never thought to deeply about. Heavenly Father had a plan for our family all along. When we miscarried, He knew. He knew we needed you when our lives were going to be flipped upside down. It is hard to write about it, but I know Heavenly Father loves us. He sends us trials that seem unbearable. But I know He's there. I know there is a personal plan for each of us. I know we will all be together, united in Heaven some day... and I can't wait. We Love you Stella and are so incredibly blessed to have you.
P.S. I also believe the reason you decided to take your sweet time coming to us, was you were with your (awesome) uncle CJ. I am thankful for that.
Happy Blessing Day Stella. We love you!
http://youtu.be/Tey_9ZfldkQ
