Doubts

Do you ever have doubts? Because I have doubts. There are a few things I am certain of in my life, that is my family, my wife, and that about sums it up. The rest is all doubt. I have never been a very ambitious person, never really had the drive to be rich, powerful, even really successful for that matter. I have always jut wanted enough to enjoy my life on this earth. I had one plan in my life, to join the Air Force and it seems like ever since that plan didn't work out I haven't really found another one that suits me. I have spent the last 6 years years going to college either full or part-time and now that I am finally a few weeks from graduating, I don't know if this path I'm on is the right one for me. I have doubts, do you?

I love how no matter what these days you hear it all the time, you need to go to college if your ever going to get anywhere in this world. I think it is true for some people, people that have ambitions to be a certain something, to people that strife to a certain job, but it isn't true for all people. For some this saying is a slap in the face, some people have ambitions that are outside of college, that don't require it and yet are they really any less ambitious because their path leads them elsewhere? I love this saying because it is so vague and it doesn't really tell the whole truth. The reality behind that statement is what has started to affect me in my life now. College doesn't help you get a job.
Yes, you need that degree to get a job, but that degree isn't considered experience in the real world, in the world of working people and so even though you have that minimum requirement, that minimum requirement that took you 4+ years of your life to accomplish, your still found lacking for most if not all jobs in whatever it is you received your degree for. I'm soon to be graduating from college with a bachelor's degree in Biometric Security, a field that has hundreds, probably thousands of job openings in America and yet I am pretty sure that I will have a hard time finding a job in my field. It's frustrating to know that all the effort that you have put into to getting your degree and that is the smallest requirement for many of the jobs in your field.
I guess i just needed to vent, but it really is the sad truth, very sad, but very true.

I noticed that I don't write here much and I'm going to try and get back into it even if its just a small update.

I have had some good and bad things going on in the past few weeks, but altogether I'm doing well. I found out last weekend that I was put into the gift rotation that Brooke's family does each Christmas even though I'm not technically family yet, which made me really excited and happy that her relatives see me in that light. I really do like them all and I can't wait to be a part of the family and when I heard about this I just got a good feeling inside. The last dinner party went really well despite the small turnout. I really enjoy these alot and I think I would like to get a little more sophisticated with it next month and cook some different stuff for everyone. Maybe some risotto and who knows what else I'll find.

It's looking more and more like i'll have to go back to work at least part-time but possibly full-time. While I can't say I see this as a totally bad thing it's more of an inconvenience because i'm just so used to having so much time to do things around the apartment and doing all the cooking and having more than enough time to work on classes. While i don't really miss having to go to work everyday I do get bored often when I'm at home all day alone so maybe it won't be so bad. I just need to find something that isn't factory work because I don't think my hip where I had my surgery can take the abuse of a factory job, so finding something else might be challenging.

I have always wanted to write a book, I used to think that I would want to write a novel but the thought of 400 pages frightens the hell out of me. I have been mulling it over for the past couple years trying to figure out what to write about and had a few ideas but nothing ever really inspired me all that much. A couple months ago Brooke and I were heading to bed and the window in our bedroom faces out to the pond behind our apartment building. I took a peek out the window and low and behold there was a gathering of ducks, all of these ducks were on the area of grass near the pond looking out on the water where there stood this great blue heron. I told Brooke to look and then went on to say something like looks like the ducks are having a meeting, maybe they are the mob and the Heron is the Don.

Yesterday we saw this odd little duck, he likes to get up on the platform that surrounds the water fountain in the middle of our pond and stick his head in the fountain. We decided he was the stupid son/cousin of the Don that is just dumb as bricks but he is part of the family so they have to keep him around. I peeked out the window last night and there they were again, all the ducks on the grass near the pond and I think i finally got my inspiration. I'm going to write a book about a mob of ducks. It'll be a shorter book, something along the lines of a Series of Unfortunate Events or Spiderwick Chronicles size book. I'm really excited and at the same time not sure where to begin. This should be interesting to say the least. Wish me luck.

Fun Friday!

I went on a charter fishing boat with my mom, dad, cousin Didi, and my dad's friend Jim. It was alot of fun. It was overcast all day, so no blazing sun and we didn't see many boats out at all. We stayed out from 7a.m. until around 1p.m. and we ended up catching 6 very nice fish. 3 Steelhead, 1 King Salmon, and 2 Lake trout. I myself brought in the biggest Lake Trout, which was 9-10 pounds. All-in-all it was alot of  fun and we are thinking of making it an annual family thing, going out early Sept. every year one day and just do some fishing on a charter boat. I brought home my Lake Trout and half of one of the Steelheads, and I'm really looking forward to cooking them up.

Also, today Brooke is having her spa party and our apartment is full of women, I feel very out numbered. But I can hear that they are all having fun, so that is good. Other then that it has been a long day. I have been up since 4:30a.m. and i'm exhausted. 

I know you'll see this Kat, so I hope you feel better soon!

What were mean't for...

Brooke and I have been watching the first season of Heros over the last week or so and all this talk of having a higher purpose has really gotten me thinking lately. I know that I will more then likely enjoy the field of Biometrics, but is it what I am destined to do? Is destiny something real that we can strive towards? Am I mean't to do something totally different with my life? I guess these are all question that we ask ourselves as we grow older, but is it something that we should be looking into or is it something better left alone, unsaid.

This is really more along the lines of my career really. I happy with the person I am and I love Brooke more then anything in this world, but sometimes I wonder if what I'm working towards is more to be financially sound then it is something I really want to do. Not that being financially sound is a bad thing or that my dream job is all that attainable, but still it is something to hope for. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, which really isn't me but It's bound to happen sometime.

Anyways, on another note. I have been looking for a part-time job to no avail. There is just not much out there at all. I don't technically need it, but it would be nice having something to fill in a few hours during the week. College takes up some time but, I do find myself with time to fill and i would rather do something then nothing.

Let's give this a try.

I have been sort of a blog stalker for awhile now and I guess I have decided to branch out into the realm of blogging myself. Be that as it may I hope I can commit myself to actually posting things worthwhile to other people, so on the chance that they might want to actually read the drivel that I spew forth they are actually getting something out of it other then a peek into the world of me.