Politics makes strange bedfellows...

A lot of people on my side of the political fence have their knickers all in a bunch because President-Elect Obama went ahead and invited Rick Warren to be the presiding clergy at the Inauguration.
He's anti-gay, they say.
Yes he is.
But what kind of Democrat, what kind of Christian would Obama be if he shut people out just because they disagreed with him?

As much as I loathe the position of (most) evangelical Christians when it comes to the discussion of the rights of GLBT people, what disgusts me even more is that they have become a sect that chooses to focus on a few hot button issues about which the Bible has little to say - gay rights, abortion, sex education, creationism - while neglecting the issues about which the Bible has the most to say - poverty, oppression, the marginalization of the few by the many.

My point is, how can we accuse the religious Right of having too narrow of a focus, if we then turn around and do the same?
Christian gay rights groups like Soulforce have a hell of a time just getting conservative pastors to sit down with them and have a conversation. If the Right says "We won't talk to you or associate with you because you're gay," how is the Left making things any better by saying "We won't talk to you or associate with you because you're anti-gay?"

Obama is right.
There are issues on the table that we can agree upon, and we ALL need to work together to address them.
Do I want the legal right to marry my partner? Yes.
But the guy who is sleeping on a freezing cold sidewalk tonight because he doesn't have a home and the shelter is full....well I think his issue is a little more pressing at the moment.

I recognize that I am in a privileged position to be able to say that.
I managed to make it out of my teens and through the hell of high school without killing myself, many gay kids are not so lucky.
Every minute of every day someone somewhere is verbally abused, fired, thrown out of their home, assaulted or killed, just because they don't conform to the sexual 'norm' that someone else has ingrained in their head.
And as much as some Christians would like to deny it, the words flowing from the pulpit can do as much damage, if not more, than those shouted in the street or whispered in a high school hallway.
Yes, the gay rights issue is an important issue, a life and death issue - as is poverty, oppression, health care, violence, addiction, the economy, education, and a slew of other issues that leave people homeless, helpless, and hopeless.

Jesus said, "you will always have the poor with you."
Well, I believe we will always have Christians who believe in their heart of hearts that being gay is a choice that God has forbidden. I can't get inside their heads and change their minds, and neither can Obama. That doesn't mean we can't find common ground on the 98% of the Bible that we can agree upon - feed the hungry, support the weak, strengthen the fainthearted, help the suffering, honor all beings.

We shouldn't stop talking to each other, or inviting each other to share in our common celebrations, just because we disagree on how we believe God intends for us to live in this world.

I say kudos to Obama....we finally have a Christian in the White House who pays more than lip service to Jesus' command to "love thy enemies."

Paul said "we, who are many, are one body in Christ” (Romans 12:5)
Now if we could just get the left hand and the right hand to stop bitch-slapping each other we might just get around to putting one foot in front of the other and solving some of the problems in this world.
Amen.

Camel + Straw = One Hell of a Backache

I went into work yesterday and was greeted by the following sign hanging by the employee time sheet:

ATTENTION ALL EMPLOYEES:
Here are the current sales totals for our Charity Book Drive:

Jackie – 73
Steve – 64
Trent – 7
Mocat – 6

From now on ALL employees working more than 4 Hours will be required to sell 3 books per shift for the Book Drive.
Employees working 7+ hours are required to sell 5 books or more.
Employees falling below these standards WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE.

My immediate response to this sign?
I am soooooooo quitting this job!

As you can see above, our little bookstore currently has FOUR employees (we also have 3 addtional part-timers but none of them works more than 4 hours per week so they were spared the humiliation of making the list).

Jackie (the manager) and Steve and Trent (Assistant Managers) are full-time employees (and of course, their names have been changed to protect the innocent), but with Corporate cutting our allotted weekly store hours back to the bare minimum I’m lucky if I get more than 8 hours per week…and it’s usually the late shift when very few customers come into the store. Trent also works most of the late shifts.
Can you see a pattern emerging here?

I worked 4 hours yesterday.
I had six customers.
So, to fill my quota I needed to get 3 of those 6 customers to buy a book for the charity drive.
Needless to say, it didn’t happen.
I go six “no, not today, thank you”s
So now, when I go into work on Saturday I will have the pleasure of finding out exactly what “WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE” means.

I am not one who is quick to anger, but I literally punched the sign when I saw it.


It’s bad enough that our job performance is based on getting people to sign up for a free Rewards card, now we’re being judged on our ability to persuade people to spend an additional $4-10 for a charitable donation.
My manager has no problem with this. I’ve heard her sales pitch and she pushes it to a level that actually shames the customer into saying ‘yes’ – especially if there is a line of people watching – otherwise it’s like they’re willingly withholding money ‘from the needy children.’

I like the idea of a book drive.
I like the fact that the books are going to the local Women’s Center.
I am vehemently opposed to the practice of soliciting every customer for a donation before we complete their transaction.

The elderly, mother’s with children, single women…
My manager hits them especially hard with the ‘pitch’ because she knows they’ll ‘sympathize’ with the cause.
But they all hesitate before they say ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Sometimes the hesitation is painfully long.
I can see the conflicting emotions in their eyes.
They are giving people and they don’t want to say no, but they can’t afford it, or they’re paying in cash and they don’t have enough with them, or they’ve just been hit up with too many requests for money lately, whether from their kid’s school or their church.
They say ‘no’ and they feel bad about it.
Or they say ‘yes’ and feel taken advantage of.
I can hear it in their voices.
Is that our goal as a business?
To make people leave the store feeling bad about themselves, or us?

The straw/camel/back equation reared its head when I saw the aforementioned sign that my manager posted. Not only it is apparent that she sees nothing wrong with posting a sign that is both humiliating and threatening to her employees, but it was completely unnecessary to post a sign when a simple conversation would have sufficed.
We’re talking about TWO people she needed to talk to (Steve has copied her tactics and is hitting the sales numbers and didn’t need a quota or threat).

This is the result of the corporate mentality.
My manager’s superiors talk to her via email in impersonal nonsensical corporate language, so she regurgitates it out to her underlings in the same manner. There is no sense that she knows or cares about her employees as individuals. We’re just cogs in the machine, and if we’re not ‘performing within the specified parameters’ we will be discarded.

Before I moved to CT, I worked at a retail store on Long Island.
I had the same boss for 16 years. He owned the store and was in the office every day running the business. He had over 100 employees, and while he would occasionally post a catchy slogan by the time clock to motivate his workers, he never communicated store policies/procedures to us via signs. We had group meetings, he asked us for feedback, he was open to hearing our suggestions and complaints, and he would talk to us one-on-one if he sensed a problem that may be affecting our work.
He knew how to manage people, and despite the size of our group we felt like a family and treated each other accordingly.
Most importantly, I never felt like I had to compromise my values to make a sale.
There were no quotas, required percentages, or ‘up-sell’ items that every customer needed hear about. The result – the employees were happy, the customers enjoyed coming into the store, and they came back.

Meanwhile, back at the bookstore, our dismal sales, lack of repeat business and high rate of employee turnover are all testament to the fact that we’re failing miserably on all accounts.


Now for the hard part….
Steve may be leaving for another store as early as next week (he’s still waiting to hear).
So if I outright quit, or even give two-weeks notice, that leaves poor Trent as the only key-holder in the store…and my manager Jackie will be royally screwed.
She has a vacation planned for mid-May that’s not going to happen if either Steve or I leave….and if we both leave…..well, like I said, she’s royally screwed.

There's camels and straw flying everywhere, and I’m worried about how my leaving is going to affect those left behind.

Walking away, giving up, throwing up one’s hands in defeat, even if it’s over a job that’s sucking the life right out of you, is never as easy as it sounds.

I don't wanna work, I want to bang on the drum all day...

Now that I finally know where I’m headed in the fall I’m anxious to get this party started.
Especially with spring springing up like gang busters this week, I’m more than ready to clear out the old and make room for the new. We had a tag sale at church over the weekend so I hauled over a load of crap….ahem…I mean “fine, sellable goods”…..and I’m happy to say that most of it is now cluttering up someone else’s closet. The box of foot and body lotions that someone re-gifted to me many Christmases ago – Sold! The Mo Vaughn bobble head (a baseball player who is no longer with the NY Mets and who sucked when he was) – Sold! The 9-year-old printer that came with my first desktop computer and hasn’t been used in 5 years – Donated! (My pastor snatched it from the remainder pile at the end of the sale….please God, let it still work!)

Between the tag sale, Worship, and the Ministry Council meeting I’ve spent six out of the last seven days at church, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. If I didn’t have to work last Thursday it would have been 7 out of 7. My hours at the bookstore have been cut down to 1-2 days a week and quite honestly, that’s 1-2 days more than I want to work.
I took the job so I could pay down my credit card debt before starting school but now I’m working so few hours I have to ask myself: “Is the aggravation and soul sucking that I experience at this job worth the $50 a week that it’s bringing in?”

There are things that I love about the job – shelving books, opening the new shipments, helping the customers – and there are things that I hate about the job – having to deal with an incompetent and overbearing manager who just leaches the energy right out of me, and the endless heap of promotional “chatter” that we’re expected to dump on every customer who walks in the door (that’s the part where the soul sucking comes in).

First, we have to approach/accost every customer entering the store, ask them if they need help and tell them about our weekly promotion whether it looks like they’d be interested or not… “Excuse me sir, I know you’re only killing time while your wife is in Lord and Taylor, but all of our Chicken Soup for the Soul books are Buy-1-Get-1-Half-Price this week!”

Then once we have the customer at the cashwrap (corporate speak for “cash register”) we have to ask them the following:
“Did you find everything that you were looking for?”
“Will there be anything else today? Any candy or gift cards?”
“May I have your Rewards card?”
“Oh, you don’t have one? Here, it’s FREE! Just fill out this form with your email and phone number and you’ll get great coupons, in-store specials and earn rewards!”
If they say NO, we have to say “Oh, but it’s Free, it only takes a second to fill out and we keep all of your information confidential!" (but we will bombard your Inbox with junk email every week). If they say NO again, and it’s my manager that’s helping them, she’ll slam down the form, give them a dirty look, and talk about how “rude” they were once they leave the store.
If they already have the card but didn’t bring it with them we have to say….”I can look it up for you!” (at which point they give us six variations of their email and phone number none of which we can find in the computer, which means they don’t get the Rewards and all the people on line are pissed because it’s taking so long to ring up one customer)

After the Rewards push is over, we have to note what they’re buying and suggest other titles that they might be interested in (as if they’re going to get off the line to find our suggestion and go through this process all over again)
We also have to push a weekly “cashwrap” item that is propped up in front of the register (and leaves little room for the customer to put their purchases on the counter). It’s either a book that the company is overstocked on or a special “Rewards Member Only" item like a tote bag or cheesy recipe gift set.
After pushing that, we often have an “end of sale promotion” like “Would you like to donate to the First Book foundation that gives first books to children?” or “Would you like to purchase a book for us to donate to the local Women’s Shelter?” Both of which are great causes, but at this point in the transaction most people are secretly shouting “Enough!” as they politely grit their teeth and say “No thank you, not today.”

The kicker is, we’re expected to do this with every customer, regardless if it’s a teenager buying a magazine or an overwrought mother who’s dealing with three screaming kids and who just wants to pay for her book and get out of the store.

Finally, every couple of months we have to hand out “Customer Service” survey forms, and instruct the customer to call the phone number on the form, take the survey and get a 15% coupon. During the survey the customer is asked if the bookseller asked them all of the above questions and if they say “No” (whether it’s true or not) our store’s “CSI” scores plummet beneath the desirable “response/positive percentage” level. Then the District Manage berates our Manager and she berates us for offering bad customer service. It doesn’t matter how friendly we are or how much time we spend helping the customer and making sure they’ve found what they’re looking for…..If we fail to push every promotion that the corporate office expects us to we can be written up or fired.


Our monthly job performance reviews are based on our UPT score (units sold per transaction) and our Rewards percentage (how many people use their cards or sign up for the card when we’re on the register). My Rewards percentage is hovering around 54% while my manager consistently brags that she has an 89% and “if she can do it, we all can do it” – Never mind that she often picks and chooses who she rings up (someone carrying a pile of books who’s likely to already have the card) and will continue to push the card after a customer says “No” until they finally say “yes” just to get out of the store.
My fellow employees have percentages in the low 70’s but they’ve outright admitted to me that they cheat. They scan the card and stuff it in the customer’s bag even if the customer says ‘No’ or, if they can’t find the customer’s info in the computer they choose any email on the list that pops up so they get credit for the sale but some other customer is earning the rewards. I have vowed never to stoop to cheating regardless of how much the manager berates me because she “knows that I can do better.”
What do I care?… I’ll be gone in a few months, but my fellow employees (who are all great with the customers) are almost forced to be dishonest in order to keep their jobs.

Each employee is also required to read the company’s daily online “E-News” which is full of mind-numbing corporate speak like “increase your upsell” and “Correct placement of EGC and the RDC is critical to fourth quarter earnings elevation.”

Can’t you just hear my soul being sucked out as we speak?

I’ll take church aggravation over corporate aggravation any day…
At least parishioners arguing over the choice of carpet in the sanctuary will never say things like: “The impending selection of ground level covering is not within the parameters of our previously requisitioned selection, therefore we will need to move forward with an alternative product to satisfy our core base, otherwise revenue intake in the coming quarter will suffer a reduction, thus affecting our intake/outtake ratio”

Translation: “Pick a different color rug or the offering plate will be empty this week”


Somebody get me a drum, I gots me some banging to do!

I just don't get it....

Our friends in the Episcopal Church continue to have their hands full with those rouge congregations who have carried through on their threat to quit the ECUSA. After pouting and holding their breath because the bible-busting liberals had gone and ordained (gasp!) gay and lesbian clergy and then (shriek!) had the gall to push the bar even further by installing non-celibate gay bishops, and (ack!) don’t even get me started on the fact that they went ahead and elected a WOMAN as the grand-poobah of the whole ECUSA shebang….the dissenting congregations finally threw up their hands, took their ball, and announced for all to hear that if the lefty-libbies didn’t play the game by their rules then they would just march on home and find someone else who would.
So off they went to join the renegade cool kids gang, known as the Convocation of Anglicans in North America, and they now bow to the will of Nigerian archbishop Peter Akinola… a lovely little man who believes that all homosexuals should be rounded up and imprisoned for the hateful crime they have committed against society…you know, the crime of loving, living, breathing…

Not content with removing their bodies and their pledge units from the ECUSA, the 11 congregations who dissented in Virginia are now embroiled in a court battle to keep the 30 million dollars in church property that rightfully belongs to the ECUSA (see story here.)
In other words, they don’t want to play with the liberal leaning Christians, but that doesn’t mean they should have to give up their pretty little church buildings and all the shiny baubles contained within that they’ve come to know and love.

The dissenters expect to spend as much as 3-5 million dollars on litigation that could take as long as three years to complete.

Does anyone else recognize the cognitive dissonance that arises with this little situation???

Here we have a group of religious people who are so committed to following the literal and inerrant Word of God as presented in scripture, that they’re willing to uproot entire congregations and spend millions of dollars to ensure they stay on the course that God had intended. The problem is, they’ve chosen to hinge their entire point of battle on a handful of biblical passages that (supposedly) declare homosexuality as a sin and prohibit the ordination of women.
In all, we’re talking about less than five scriptural passages.
...One line in the priestly laws of Leviticus, the explanation of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, one paragraph in Paul’s letter to the Romans, and the line in 1 Corinthians that prohibits women from speaking in church…(which BTW contradicts Paul’s earlier assertion that women as well as men were meant to prophesize God’s word and has led some scholars to declare that 1 Corinthians was not written by Paul but by a later follower with a different agenda).

So, on one side of the scale we have a set of passages that are either of questionable origin or are open to multiple interpretations, and would fill only a half a page if listed together.
On the other side of the scale we have all the biblical passages that speak directly of compassion, love, mercy, judge-not-yet-ye-be-judged, the unity of the church, how one hand has to work with the other not against it, not to mention all the flat out commands contained in both the Old and the New Testament to give to the poor, feed the hungry, liberate the oppressed, etc. etc.

This is a lopsided scale indeed.

Yet somehow our rouge ex-Episcopalians have chosen to ignore the heavy side of the scale and have placed all their energy and righteous rage on the side that could be blown away in one breath.

In direct violation of the words of Christ himself, who said “whatever you do to the least among us, you do to me,” these 11 congregations have aligned themselves with a Nigerian faction bent on exclusion (at the least) and imprisonment and death (at the worst) of those whom they have judged to be morally corrupt (again, on the basis of a handful of scriptural passages).
And to further confound true Christian sensibilities, they’ve chosen to take 5 million dollars that could be spent on the aforementioned poor, hungry and oppressed, and use it instead to line the pockets of lawyers in a fight to keep their buildings and baubles.

This is a group of Christians who have chosen to put their numbers and their weight on the lesser side of the scale in an effort to tip it towards their side, to make it seem as if they are fighting for the sanctity of the Bible, for the Word of God Himself.

Never mind that most of the Bible they’re defending is lying ignored on the other side of the scale…
And that this portion of the Bible contains a weight that they will never be able to counter balance, regardless of how many obscure Priestly laws or suspect Pauline letters they try to pull onto their side….that is the Word, the weight, of Jesus Christ Himself.


It seems overly simple to me, but even if one believes in the marrow of one’s bones that homosexuality is a sin based on a handful of God’s words, one must look at the tidal wave of love and compassion contained in all of God’s other words, and one has no choice but to leave the judging of others to God…and get on with the lifting up of others; those who have fallen and those who have been pushed down by human hands.
And nowhere, NOWHERE, in the Bible does God/Jesus give us permission to be the ones doing the pushing.

That alone should tell us that we have no right to be playing with the scales in the first place.

Is this Soap Box taken?

They say the two subjects that one should never discuss at the dinner table or in mixed company are religion and politics…..well I’ve already broken that rule here in regards to religion (wave hello to all the Christo-fascists who still stop by here occasionally to see if I’ve said anything worth flaming me over)…so why not wade into the murky waters of politics as well?

I did my civic duty and voted on Tuesday. I went mid-morning to avoid the ‘crowds’ that all the news outlets had said to expect. The ‘crowd’ at my local polling place consisted of five octogenarians and one half-asleep college student holding a Hillary sign in the parking lot. Inside, all of the seniors were crowded around the Republican table, which gave me a clear shot to the Democrat table. I filled out my paper ballot, slid it through the optical scanner and I was in and out in under 5 minutes.

The process would have taken even less time if one of the seniors in front of me at the scanner hadn’t had his ballot repeatedly rejected by the machine. The volunteer stationed at the scanner suggested to the man that he may have ‘inadvertently’ voted for two people, and sure enough the woman in front of me held up her ballet to look at it and I noticed she had voted for McCain and Huckabee. The two of them got off the line and had to go back and request replacement ballots. Printed clearly across the top of our ballots were the instructions to Pick ONE Candidate but apparently that doesn’t apply to people who just can’t make up their minds.
I know those of us on the Democratic side have had a hard time choosing between two candidates who are essentially similar (gender and race notwithstanding), but McCain and Huckabee?? From what I’ve gleaned from the talking heads on TV, these candidates are of two different political stripes (moderate vs Christian conservative) and the average Republican voter is either for one or the other.

Of course, that’s assuming that the average voter takes the time to understand who it is they’re actually voting for. One of the 21-year-olds that I work with said he would probably vote for Obama because he “can’t stand Hillary,” but “Huckabee is kind of cool too.”
WTF????
When I explained to him that his choices are on opposite ends of the political spectrum he admitted that all he know about Huckabee came from his appearances on The Daily Show.
Once again personality trumps issues.

Not that it matters in this young man’s case, he was counting down the hours until he turned 21 and could legally drink, but registering to vote isn’t even on his radar screen. He loves to comment on politics and initiates most of the Bush-bashing that goes on at work, but he has no plans to actually participate in the process that would give him a voice in how this country is run.
And he has plenty of company.

The news outlets are touting how this primary had a “record turnout” in the 24 states in which they were held, but those “record” numbers amounted on average to about 30% of registered voters. New York had a “record” 18% turnout at their primary. 18%???? Granted, this was only a primary, registered Independents were not included, and the other 82% of NYers were probably doing their civic duty by attending the Giants Super Bowl victory parade, but even in Presidential elections the average voter turnout in this country is only 50-55%, that puts the US in 20th place out of 21 nations that have established democracies. Only Switzerland is worse than us when it comes to voter turnout (those crazy Swiss, they just love exercising their right to be neutral).

I would expect that the political party that supports our current President and the war he instigated in the name of protecting our American Way of Life, would have a 100% turnout on election day. It seems to me that if one is willing to send young men and women to die in the name of freedom, one would actually take advantage of said freedom and get off one’s keaster and vote. But that’s just me.
I’m just a crazy liberal lesbian who’s undermining the fabric of this God-fearing nation just by existing.
But I voted. Heh, heh. heh, (insert evil laugh here).

American apathy usually takes the blame for our abysmal voter turn outs. People are tired of politics, they mistrust politicians in general, and they don’t have the time or the inclination to educate themselves on the issues or the candidates (that would cut into the time allotted to watching American Idol and reading up on the trials and tribulations of Britney Spears).
So we glean what we can from paid commercials, candidate appearances on TV talk shows, and 5-second sound bites from the 13 debates that we didn’t watch.

And we wonder why people choose candidates based on personality/likeability?
“Heck, this guy may have a voting record that is polar opposite to what I believe, but he made me laugh when I saw him on the David Letterman show so he’s got my vote!”

Aaaaarrrghhhh!

This is how we ended up with you-know-who for eight years.
People voted for the good-old-boy who rode horses and talked just like them, rather than the guy who flaunted his education with all sorts of big words and complex responses to questions that made him look all wishy-washy-flippy-floppy.

We want simple responses and black and white solutions.
We want someone who’ll stick to their guns no matter how unreasonable it is to do so.
We want the decider.
We got him.
And I’m ready to give him back.

So the moral to this little diatribe is:

EDUCATE yourselves and VOTE!

Vote for the candidate who you feel will best represent you and the kind of country you want to live in, be it Democrat, Republican, or Independent.

And try not to be like the woman who came into the bookstore yesterday and asked me if I knew the results of Tuesday’s primary. When I mentioned that McCain had a substantial lead she said “You know, there’s something about McCain that just rubs me the wrong way…I’m a life-long Republican, but Hillary is starting to look pretty good.”
Sooooo…..Bush was good enough for her but McCain is not.
She must like Hillary’s pant suits.

Wednesday Wisdom and Politics....an oxymoron?

"It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians."
- Henrik Ibsen

There was yet another presidential candidate debate last night.
10 white guys all standing in a row (it was a Republican debate afterall) trying to out sound-bite each other. "Gentlemen, what is your plan to overhaul health care?....You have 10 seconds to answer and if you use the word "socialist" in your answer you're guaranteed to make the morning news cycle."

I haven't actually watched any of the debates. I rely on The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert for a fair and balanced report on these things. My favorite debate question so far:
"Raise your hands if you believe in evolution."
Glad to see that in 2007 we're back to caring about the issues that matter.
"What's my candidate's position on poverty, education, health care, and the Iraq war? Darned if I care, as long as he believes that the world was created in six days and them monkey fossils was planted by liberal activist judges carrying out an elitist, commie, pinko homosexual agenda (them gays got their limp-wristed hands in everything) then he's got my vote!"

Yes, there are some seriously ill-informed people out there who actually think this way, but why does the media feel the need to cater to them? Asking a question like that is more about stirring up controversy and getting air time on the 24/7 news shows (as the competing media outlets perpetually examine each other's navels) than it is about actually gathering information that the American public can use to make an intelligent, reasoned choice when deciding who is qualified to be the next leader of this country.

Do I care if the candidate I vote for believes in God?
No.
Because we as individuals have such diverse theological beliefs and ways in which we define "God," chances are slim that the person I'm voting for believes in the same God that I do.
George W. calls himself a God-fearing Christian but his understanding of God and what it means to be a practicing Christian are miles apart from what I believe.

Bill Moyers said it best when asked what role he thought religion should have in politics:

"Whose religion? Christian? Muslim? Jew? Sikh? Buddhist? Catholic? Protestant? Shi'ite? Sunni? Orthodox? Conservative? Mormon? Amish? Wicca? For that matter, which Baptist? Bill Clinton or Pat Robertson? Newt Gingrich or Al Gore? And who is going to decide? The religion of one seems madness to another.
If religion is the voice of the deepest human experience—and I believe it is—humanity contains multitudes, each speaking in a different tongue. Naturally, believers will bring their faith into the public square, translating their unique personal experience into political convictions and moral arguments. But politics is about settling differences while religion is about maintaining them. Let's realize what a treasure we have in a secular democracy that guarantees your freedom to believe as you choose and mine to vote as I wish."
- Christian Century Magazine, April 17, 2007


And on that note, I'll leave you with a Blog Quiz:

You Are 4% Republican

If you have anything in common with the Republican party, it's by sheer chance. You're a staunch liberal, and nothing is going to change that!

How Republican Are You?

In case you were wondering, I answered "yes" to the "Do you go to church every Sunday" question. That's what got me the 4%. I'll never be able to show my face at a Democratic primary again.

And The Winner IS......

"I Was Swarmed By StandFirm"

Gold Star Award


I…I...I…I…I don't know where to begin, this award is so unexpected! (gush)
I'd like to thank Dennis, Karen and Suzer for nominating me for this award.
I'd like to thank the academy, for recognizing the hard work that I put into my blog and the even harder work that others have put into making it (in)famous.
I'd like to thank my mother and father for raising me up to be the good Christian lesbian that I am.
I'd like to thank my friends and blogmates, and all the little people up in the balcony…I couldn't have done it without you! (blows kisses)
I'd like to thank all the fine people at StandFirm for publicizing our cause and for occupying the time and energy of all their bloggers as they sifted through my site with a fine toothcomb looking for reasons not to take my thoughts seriously.
I'd like to thank the 14-year-old who designed my site and added all the neat stuff that the uptight parental units don't approve of (South Park and blog quizzes rule dude).
I'd like to send a personal thank you to Mr. Mad Priest for jumping to my aid even before I knew I needed jumping to. He's good people.
I'd like to thank the UCC and the radical lefty Episcopal Church for being a bastion of liberal outlaws who are all going to burn in hell unless they repent. Thems good people.
I'd like to thank God for dictating the Bible word for word and for keeping us humans out of the creative process entirely, cuz you know we'd only muck it up if we got our grubby little hands on it.
I'd like to thank Jesus for being a way-cool guy who always made nicey-nice with the Pharisees and never excluded anyone lest he offend them: "scuze me guys, could you turn the music down just a scooch?…I'm serving communion to Adolph Eichmann and the tiniest noise tends to set him off… Thanks, you're a doll…ta ta!" (Mp. 3:16)

Thank You all!
This award will have a permanent spot on my mantle! (in a revolving lighted display case right next to my Star Trek action figure collection).

I love you guys...you like me, you really, really, like me!

(exit to music: I'm Bringing Sexy Back)

**Note to my readers: I've temporarily enabled the moderator feature for the comments section - not to censure or discourage opposing points of view - but to discourage hit and run nastiness. So far everyone has played nice - You all get a gold star!

Monopoly Mayhem

A shout of support goes out to Ann who spearheaded a movement called Rainbow Presence to champion inclusiveness in the Episcopal church. She suggested that Episcopalians who support the rights of GLBT people wear rainbow insignia to church on Easter Sunday.
Some may object to politicizing such a holy day but I believe her intention was simply to raise visibility and awareness, not to disrupt worship or rattle anyone's cage.
Yes, in this day and age of polarized camps it may be naïve to assume that making oneself more visible won't be seen as a political challenge by those hunkered down on the opposite side of a hot-button issue - That damn Rosa Parks, how dare she challenge our beliefs by sitting in the front of the bus making herself more visible!
I've just finished reading a couple of the conservative Episcopalian responses that Ann linked to on her site and I feel like I've been run over by a bus.
I always feel that way after wading through scripture quoting diatribes dripping in judgment, fear, hate, and division. I feel dirty, stained, and attacked as if I've been pummeled by a thousand bat wielding teenagers after daring to wander onto their turf.

Is that they way we're supposed to feel after sharing the "good news" with each other?
I don't think so.

In the United Church of Christ we have an open communion table where all are welcome, no questions asked. So it shocked me to read comments from Episcopal clergy stating that they would refuse to serve communion to anyone wearing a rainbow insignia on Easter Sunday, gay or straight, just as they would refuse to serve any non-repentant gay person during any other Sunday. When other posters called them on this obvious singling out of sinners, they responded by claiming they also refuse to serve communion to non-repentant adulterers and divorcees. WHAT???????????

As Christians we're supposed to confess all our sins and ask for forgiveness before we're deemed worthy of sharing in the body and blood of Christ. Fair enough.
But IMHO exactly what constitutes a sin is open to debate.
I can hear it now "THE BIBLE SAYS blah blah blah" - the Bible says nothing out of context and we can argue until the cows come home over the intended meaning of particular passages, words, syllables, etc.

What the bible does say is "judge not lest ye be judged"; "let he who is without sin cast the first stone"; "what you have done to the least among you, you have done to me."

Therefore, for any true believing Christian the greater sin is committed when one of God's children is rejected from His place of worship, or denied service at His table because WE, the sinful and imperfect humans, have judged another sinful and imperfect human to be unworthy of praising God, worshiping God, and sharing in His love.

Shame, Shame, Shame.

I'm sending strength, hugs, and prayers to all of you in the EC. It's hard enough to watch a church being torn apart by conflict, but it's even more frustratingly painful to watch people turn on each other over an issue that should be a no-brainer.
Race, gender, sexual orientation - None of these is a choice, God made these differences, and no human being should be excluded from fulfilling God's call because the church (i.e. human beings) has decided that male is better than female, heterosexual is better than homo-bi-trans-sexual, etc.

We in the UCC may be more open to accepting difference but we're still figuring out how to express this openness without stepping on too many toes. My home church had a congregational meeting not too long ago where we voted on whether we should allow civil union ceremonies in our sanctuary. While most voted Yes, a few had objections and a lengthy discussion ensued.

I just sat there shaking in fear and confusion. These are people I know and love. These are people whom I laugh, worhsip, and work with every week. Yet there we were debating whether people like me should have the right to use our sanctuary in the same manner as straight couples have for almost two hundred years.

I couldn’t help but think "How dare they?!"
How dare they debate whether I should have the same rights and privileges that they have. How dare they think that my happiness, my rights as a human being, my God-given existence is something that can be put to a "yes" or "no" vote?

That IS what they were doing - Voting on my right to exist as a full human being.
It's not about marriage rights, the right to be ordained, the right be church members, the right to health insurance, the right to serve in the armed forces, the right to have parades, books, television shows, movies, and "gay day" at Disney World.
Every time a right to anything is voted on it's sending a clear message "You are less than us - We have the power and we will determine whether you are deserving of sharing in it, one slice at a time."

My problem is I'm impatient. I'm the annoying kid in the back seat whining "Are we there yet???" I can see where this road finishes up and I just want us to get there already. We traveled this same road with civil rights and women's rights in the 50's, 60's and 70's.
One day we'll reach the tipping point and society will slap itself on the collective forehead and say "Duh!" Of course whites are not superior to blacks, and men are not superior to women, and someday we'll look back at this time period and say "how could we have been so close minded! - of course heterosexuals are not superior to GLBTs."

But just as we've done in the past, we have to run through this maze. We have to allow those who object to have their say. We have to push for the passage of laws and continue to educate the public. We have to assuage the hurt feelings of those who feel the granting of rights to others takes something away from them. We have to play nice with those who don't react well to change. We have to sneak under the radar of those who smell difference and lash out in anger and fear. We have to play the game. We can't just pick a Chance card and advance to Go! and collect our $200. We have to roll the dice and move around the board and risk paying through the nose when we land on someone else's property.

Jesus had this same problem. He had a message of love and inclusion and he kept getting head butted by people who knew only fear and exclusion. He brought a new and amazing way of looking at the world and he was dragged down by those who fought tooth and nail to protect the old ways. Like us, I'll bet he wished that he had a Universal Remote - just hit the fast forward button and zoom past all the human drama to get to the good part, the part where we actually get what he is trying to say and stop pushing and shoving trying to keep our place in the God line.

But the human drama is what makes us us. It's what makes us grow; it's what makes us strong. So play the game we must. There are no short cuts. The people who own Park Place complete with a string of red plastic Hotels may appear to be winning but the more property we buy and the more little green houses we build the less they'll be able to ignore our presence….and the more likely they'll be to land on our property and realize that it's not such a bad place to be after all.

Anglican Angst

It's a Snow Day here in southern New England - el Universidad es cerrada (closed) which means no clase de espanol hoy. Excelente!

My SO has chastised me for not updating my blog every day. She goes into work early every morning to get a head start on the day and apparently reading my blog (and World of Warcraft message boards) has become part of her daily routine.

I admit that after a three week whirlwind of writing my seminary essay, a sermon, and daily blog entries my writing muscles needed a breather.

I've spent my non-writing time reading everyone else's blogs.
Our Episcopalian friends are buzzing about the Anglican Primates report that came out of Tanzania last week that essentially told the American Episcopal church to stop pushing the gay issue and to just put their fingers in their ears, close their eyes and say "la la la I can't hear you" until the mean evil gay people go away and stop inflicting pain on those on God's Faves list.

Fellow RevGalPal blogger Feminary rightfully questions just who it is experiencing the most pain in this debacle.

During the 2004 presidential election my SO and I were sitting in our living room watching yet another right-wing politician foam at the mouth about how letting gay people marry will weaken the sanctity of marriage, tear apart the family structure upon which our country is built, and end civilization as we know it.

There we were sitting in our living room, lounging in our sweatpants, watching TV, reading, playing with the cat, thinking about what to make for dinner and writing a shopping list, and I turned to my SO and said: "It's amazing that with all the violence, war, terrorist acts, poverty, abuse, oppression, and corruption in this world, that some people actually believe that what you and I are doing right now will be the cause of civilization's downfall." Our being a couple doing ordinary everyday couple things, is so frightening to some people that they put all of their time, energy, and money into fighting any law or institution that dares to recognize our right to live and love like everyone else.

As I read about the Anglican Primates meeting in Tanzania I couldn't help but cringe at the irony of location of a side trip taken by the bishops, some of whom do not recognize the ordination of women let alone gays:

"In between their debates, the leaders took a two-hour ferry ride to the island of Zanzibar. There they worshiped at the historic Anglican cathedral which is built over a former slave market. The service marked 100 years since the last slave was sold on the site, and 200 years since slavery was outlawed in England, thanks in part to the efforts of Anglican Church members."

(Religion and Ethics News Weekly)


Apparently the Bible is infallible when it comes to teachings about women and homosexuals, but that old bugaboo known as slavery, which the Bible condones and promotes, is no longer valid in our time and its demise is rightfully celebrated.
Why is one form of Biblically endorsed bigotry and oppression taken as a God-given directive while another is written off as simply the socio-economical custom of an ancient time that is no longer applicable in the modern world?

Liberal Christians are often accused of picking and choosing which parts of the Bible to believe but conservative Christians are just as guilty of this cafeteria style of faith. It's impossible not to pick and choose.

Yes, Leviticus says "man shall not lie with man as with a woman" but it also says not to touch the skin of a pig, don't wear clothing made of two different fabrics, and do not commit adultery (unless the woman is a slave, then it's ok) - all of these infractions are punishable by banishment or death.

So much for unfaithful politicians and Friday night football in Texas.

Leviticus is full of rules that we as Christians do not follow - rules about haircuts, tattoos, not touching menstruating women, planting crops at certain distances apart, eating kosher - We don't follow these rules because they were not meant for us. They were meant for the ancient Jewish Levite priestly cast, those born into the priesthood through unbroken hereditary lines.

So why is it that the bit about homosexuality is still quoted ad nauseam by conservative Christian leaders in the 21st century?

And while we're on the subject of biblical authority, why is Paul's first century directive that "women remain silent in church" still being plucked out of context and used as an argument against the ordination of women, when Paul, and Jesus himself, seemed to have no problem with women disciples preaching and teaching the word of God?

My favorite quote of late comes from Brian McLaren's book A Generous Orthodoxy:

"Christianity has successfully dethroned Jesus as Lord…we retained Jesus as Savior but promoted the apostle Paul to Lord and Teacher" (pg. 94).

On the issue of women's place in the church, we place a higher authority on the words of Paul, a convert who never knew Jesus and who preached celibacy because he thought the world was going to end in his lifetime, than we do on the teachings and actions of Jesus himself.

Context. Context. Context. A concept that is rarely invoked when one justifies oppression by invoking the argument "The Bible says…"

BTW - the Bible never mentions lesbians, only men who lie with men, so there is no reason why Ellen Degeneres couldn't be Pope.

Anglican Primates…….you are officially ON NOTICE!

Make your own On Notice List Here

Roots Hold Me Close, Wings Set Me Free

It's done!
I mailed my application and entrance essay to the Boston Seminary today. My FAFSA and financial aid forms have been filed, and the school has already received my college transcript and two out of the three required recommendations.
There's nothing more for me to do but sit back and wait.

I've got my fingers crossed that the Boston seminary will grant me financial aid or at least a partial scholarship. My grades are good enough and like many of us treading this path, my financial need is great.
If there's one advantage to being gay and not being able to be legally married, it's that my significant other doesn't show up anywhere on my financial report. The few hundred dollars we have in our joint bank account is all I have to show as proof of our life together. She's been supporting me for over a year so I could finish up school, bless her heart, but as far as the IRS is concerned, she doesn't exist.

She doesn't exist on my seminary application form either.
The form has two boxes to check for "Marital Status": Single or Married.
My SO and I have been together for 7 years, we had a commitment ceremony in a church five years ago, and she's as much a part of my life as any male spouse would be - There's no way that I'm going to check a box marked "Single"…..but we're not legally married so I can't check the "Married" box either. I checked it anyway and wrote "Partnered" above it. My round peg may not fit in their square hole but I did my best to jam it in anyway. ;-)

Bureaucratic blips aside, the important thing is: the seminary application is in!
It's an application that has been nine years in the making.
What was once only a crazy and impossible idea tucked in the recesses of my mind is now very close to becoming reality.

I think I'll bask in the moment before the realization of how much work I have ahead of me sets in…..send your prayers and your good luck charms, I could use 'em!


...and now here it is, your moment of Zen:

Where there's smoke there's fire

I was working at the church Thrift Shop today organizing the book shelves (aahhh, a book-geek's dream job) when I ran across a tattered little volume of poems from 1916 entitled "Rhymes of a Red Cross Man." In it I found the following ode:


The Black Dudeen

"Humping it here in the dug-out,
Sucking me black dudeen,
I'd like to say in a general way,
There's nothing like Nickyteen;
There's nothing like Nickyteen, me boys,
Be it pipes or snipes or cigars;
So be sure that a bloke
Has plenty to smoke,
If you want him to fight your wars."


You can't make this stuff up.
Actually, I guess somebody did, Mr. Robert W. Service did in 1916. I opened this dusty little book right to the page containing this poem and the irony of it made me laugh out loud. The imagery conjured up by the words used in the first two lines seemed shocking at first simply because these words have entirely different meanings in 2007 than they did in 1916 (you know what they mean, don't make me say it).

As I read further and realized that this was an ode to tobacco and its narcotic effects my sensitivities were rankled even further. Once again, because smoking is seen in a different light today than it was even just 10 years ago. I experience the same odd sensation when I watch an old movie where everyone is smoking like chimneys…in restaurants, in offices, on airplanes!! Now... I'm no spring-chicken, I remember when people were allowed to smoke in all of those places, I remember when it seemed normal to do so, but its been banned long enough now that it does seem out-of-place when I encounter it.
The most jarring representation of pre-ban smoking I've seen took place in a 1960's sci-fi movie that was supposedly set in the 22nd century. An astronaut crew (all white males of course) wandered into a night club on Mars where a Martian go-go girl with green skin and a 1960's bouffant did a provocative dance in front of a crowd of smokers. Apparently in 1960 they assumed that smoking, the objectification of women, and the beehive hairdo, would never go out of style.

The point of this rambling post (and there is one) is that things change. What seemed appropriate and acceptable yesterday may be seen as inappropriate and unacceptable today. Words change, situations change, behaviors change, people change.


Case in point, at the Thrift Shop today a woman came in and shopped for quite awhile chatting amicably with me and J. who runs the shop. After the woman left, J. told me that the woman used to a member of our church but she left when we called our current pastor two years ago. She left because the pastor we called is gay.

Hearing this brought out the same reaction in me that I would have if I witnessed someone lighting up a cigarette on an airplane. It was bizarre. It was out-of-place. And I couldn't believe that someone would assume that such behavior was not only appropriate, but acceptable.

I'm not naïve. I know that there are many places where rejection of gays in the ministry, in the church, is not only acceptable it's expected. I hear the selective rationalizations of the "The Bible SAYS…" people. I know about the theological debate that is tearing apart the Episcopal church, that is keeping partnered gay Evangelical Lutheran ministers from serving the congregations that call them, that is yanking wonderful and gifted pastors from the pulpit in the Methodist church, that is causing rifts in the more liberal denominations and is institutionalizing and legalizing discrimination in the more conservative denominations.

I know all of "that" is out there. And I know that only 10 years ago this woman's public rejection of a gay minister would have been commonplace and normal in all but a few churches. But not today. Not here.

I've been spoiled. As a gay woman I've encountered a few personal and impersonal rejections in my life, but discrimination rarely touches me anymore. I have a family who loves and supports both me and my partner. My partner teaches at a private school whose community loves and supports us. They put me on her health insurance. They allowed us to have a commitment ceremony in their school chapel, officiated by the school's ELCA minister. They gave us on-campus housing making an exception to their "non-cohabitation of unmarried couples" rule. I've been 'out' at every job I've ever worked and been openly accepted by my coworkers and superiors. I attend a church that called a lesbian pastor, considering only the wonderful gifts that she had to offer; a church that accepts and supports me and my call to the ministry as well.

I've lived in a smoke-free environment for so long that it seems shockingly out-of-place when I encounter it.
And when I do I'm left with questions that have no logical answers. Would the woman in the thrift shop have treated me any differently if she knew that I was gay? What if she knew I was gay and planning on entering the ministry? Would I suddenly be deemed unworthy of the smiles and friendly banter that we shared?

It all seems like just a big waste of time.
All the theological arguments, all the wracking of brains and hearts trying to interpret what God does and doesn't want, who God has or hasn't called. In our arrogance we are ignoring the obvious: Any belief that makes one Christian, one human being, treat another with contempt does not come from God, it comes from within our own brokenness. It comes from our pain, our guilt, our anger, our fear.

All of these things fill our lives with smoke, obscuring and distorting our view of God; our view of each other. As our friend Mr. Service wrote in 1916: "be sure that a bloke has plenty to smoke, If you want him to fight your wars" - It's only when the smoke clears that we lay down our arms and stop seeing each other as the enemy, and start listening to God's call.

I'll leave you with tomorrow's lectionary text from Isaiah 6 which oddly enough seems appropriate:

"The pivots on the thresholds shook at the voices of those who called, and the house filled with smoke. And I said: "Woe is me! I am lost, for I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips; yet my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!"
Then one of the seraphs flew to me, holding a live coal that had been taken from the altar with a pair of tongs. The seraph touched my mouth with it and said: "Now that this has touched your lips, your guilt has departed and your sin is blotted out."
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I; send me!" (Isaiah 6:4-8)


...and now here it is, your moment of Zen:

Dear God, Sorry to disturb you but....

I'm supposed to be working on my seminary entrance essay this morning, but I wrote this instead....
(I have waaaaaaaay too much time on my hands.)


A Conversation with Pat Robertson
By God

PAT: Almighty God may you bless me with your prophetic words and visions so that I may help guide your wandering flock to everlasting salvation!

GOD: How did you get this number?

PAT: Oh Gracious Creator, yes I have read and reread the words given to the prophet Moses and handed down to us in the book of Numbers - How might I use its glorifying message to beat down the sinners who would trample my name…errr…your name in our midst?

GOD: I told you not to call here again.

PAT: Yes! Oh Yes oh Gracious One! I will answer your call and fight the devil whom hath released his wrath upon us your wayward children!

GOD: It must be this new iPhone that Steve J. sent me - The IGNORE and ACCEPT call buttons are too small and I keep hitting the wrong #%&*ing one.

PAT: Yes oh Lord! We can no longer ignore your demands for obedience and we accept whatever consequences you would lay upon us - Tell me - what horrible disasters lay in our future? What calamities will you send to shake the very fabric of creation?

GOD: Have you seen The Apprentice: Los Angeles?

PAT: Oh loving and vengeful Lord - I would be honored to be your apprentice in this eternal fight of good against evil. I only ask that you expose Satan in all his un-glory so that I may better seek to destroy him!

GOD: Did I mention Donald Trump?

PAT: Yes Lord! Your Almighty Army of Righteous Ones will trump the devil as you so will us to do!

GOD: I think we may have a bad connection…

PAT: Lord, your connection to me, your humble servant, has never been stronger and for that I am eternally blessed!

GOD: Uh, yeah…..look, I'm about to get in an elevator so I may lose you, but by all means keep talking…Your call is important to me and remember, I hear all of your prayer **click**…………………[if you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again.]



….and now here it is, your moment of Zen: