Sunday, July 31, 2016

Captain Kahn



Folks, I am really trying to stay away from politics on this blog because I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind who they're going to vote for. But I feel compelled to share this video from the Democratic National Convention. I was fortunate enough to see this speech live and was taken aback by the genuine plea of the parents of a dead soldier who died in Afghanistan, who just happened to be Muslim.  The father makes a powerful statement and asks the Republican nominee for the presidency of the United State a powerful question:  


"Donald Trump, have you ever read the Constitution of the United States?"

Friday, July 29, 2016

Colonoscopy Biopsy Results

Seaside Gastroenterology Consultants

This morning at 8 am I had my followup visit to my colonoscopy of a few weeks ago.  

During my colonoscopy the doctor removed five polyps. They were sent out for a biopsy. My appointment with the doctor's office this morning was to review the results of that biopsy.  

I was informed the polyps were precancerous. 

I have to admit that this wasn't the result I wanted to hear.  No one want to hear the "C" word as a result of a medical procedure.

The good news is that I don't have cancer.  The bad news is that I am producing those polyps. 

There were three results I could have had.


  • Benign polyps
  • Precancerous polyps
  • Cancerous polyps


What do I do now besides have something else to worry about?  I was told that I have to have a colonoscopy every three years now. While I'm not looking forward to having a colonoscopy every three years it's a lot of better than the alternative.

Three years.  

It's been three years since I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I was upset by that diagnosis too but I took steps to remove that cancer (seed implants) and have been cancer free since. 

Let's face it folks, something is going to get us.  No one lives forever.  I'm at that age when my "yesterdays are more than my tomorrows" but I am thankful that I'm still here.  And folks, believe me, I'm going to make the most of whatever healthy days I have left. 






Thursday, July 28, 2016

Delaware DMV - Day Two


We just got back from the Delaware DMV.  This is our second try to renew our driver's license.

Today we had success.  Well, half success. I had no trouble renewing my license, for eight years.  Gawd, can you believe that it's been renewed until 2024? I have a feeling I won't around by that year. I'm quickly creeping up on lapping myself, having being born in 1941.  Hey, I hope I can renew my license when I'm one hundred years but we have to be realistic here folks. 

The bad news today was that Bill failed his eye test.  He's very upset.  I called the VA this morning and arranged to get him in the Choice program so he can choose a local optometrist for an eye examination.  Normally he would have to make the 90 mile trip to the VA Medical Center in Wilmington, Delaware for his eye examination.  But the VA has this new program in effect that if a vet if more than forty miles away from his nearest doctor, he can go to a local doctor. All we need now is approval from his VA doctor to visit a local optometrist. Otherwise we will have to go through the grinder of arranging a ride to the Wilmington VAMC through the American Legion. That takes up the best part of the day. Very onerous.

This is good that I'm checking this "Choice" option for Bill's health care.  Fortunately for us Bill's health has been good.  I've been the one with all the medical issues the past four years.  But at 88 years old I have to face that it is more likely than not that Bill will have medical issues going forward.  But who knows?  

Every day is an adventure folks.  Tomorrow I visit my doctor for the results of the biopsy of my five polyps that were found during my colonoscopy a few weeks ago. 

I have to tell you folks, sometimes I just get so tired. But we have to keep going on.  I know I'm way past my "sell by date" but I'll take every day. 
I'm greedy that way.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

My Day at the DMV



Fun time at the DMV

Early this morning Bill and I left Casa Tipton-Kelly for the Delaware DMV.  

Our Delaware drivers' licenses need to be renewed.  

I've been dreading this day.  Just another day "to get through."  

The one good thing, in Delaware we can renew our drivers' licenses for eight years.  That should take us out to The End.  Yep, at 75 years old (me) and 88 years told (Bill), we're in the Last Act folks.  As Bill Clinton said last night at the Democratic Convention "We have more yesterdays than tomorrows."  

So, this morning, just as the oppressive heat and humidity was laying its heavy hand on us, we headed down Route One.  Through the circle in Georgetown, turning south on Rt. 113 looking for the Delaware DMV.  Folks, it's not easy to get into the DMV.  

After a false turn (we were in the Del Dot parking lot), we figured out how to get into the DMV.  Right away I noticed that the parking lot outside the DMV was . . . . . . EMPTY.  

Sure, we were early at 8:45 am.  I figured the DMV opens at 9:00 am, but NO vehicles in the parking lot?  

I called the DMV information number.  Here is the message:

"The Delaware DMV is open Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday."  

Uh huh.  I came the day they are closed.  Good timing Ron!

Not a wasted day though.  Time to make lemonade out of a lemon.  We went to BJ's. 



Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Michelle Obama Speech at DNC 2016


Last night I saw perhaps the best political speech I've ever seen at a political convention ever. 

I've been watching political conventions since 1956.  I've seen a lot of political speeches folks.  But I have to tell you last night's speech by Michelle Obama was the best I've ever seen.

I almost missed seeing this speech.  I was scheduled to work at the hotel last night.  But because my garage door is broke (spring has sprung), my car is trapped in our garage. I had to call another co-worker to take my shift last night. Thanks Don!

So, while I was at my computer, updating my online Scrabble boards on Facebook, with my TV as wallpaper, I was half listening to the convention coverage.  

There were several good speeches.  Plus all the drama going on about the Wikileaks e-mail scandal at the DNC. But when Michelle Obama was a few minutes into her speech, I had to put aside my frivolous Scrabble games and listen to her.  

In case you missed her speech, I have posted it in full at the top of this blog. 

Thank you Michelle.

Monday, July 25, 2016

TRAPPED!




This morning, as I returned from my early morning walk, I entered our garage as usual.  Like most folks, we don't use our front door, we enter our house through our garage.  

As I entered the door to the kitchen I heard a loud BANG!!!!!!!!!

Oh God, what now?  I asked Bill to check it out.  He checked and came back with bad news.  Our garage door spring has sprung!  Here we go.

The last time we had something like this happen was back when we lived in Pennsylvania.  I had just purchased a brand new Subaru Forester.  The year was 1996.  I drove my sparkling new red Subaru Forester into our garage.  Got out of the car and walked in the house.  Just as I closed the door I heard a loud "BANG!"

I turned around and I saw the driver's side window BROKEN!  WTF?  Also, scratches all along the right side of the car.  

I walked around the car trying to figure out what happened and then I found a large spring.  Yes, the garage door spring had broken and crashed into my BRAND NEW CAR!

I didn't even have my car an hour and I had to take it to local auto repair for window replacement.  Cost, $500 deductible. Nice.

Thank goodness this spring didn't damage my car ........ or me!  

Another day, another crises.  Bill gets so upset when these things happen.  First thing I have to do is calm Bill down.  Then I check Angie's List before I make a phone call for repair.

I found the original installers.  They have a good rating on Angie's List so I make the phone call to get a price and arrange to have it fixed.  They'll be out tomorrow.  

Problem, I'm scheduled to go to work today at the hotel.  Can't get out of my garage.  Bill and I tried to life the double garage door but at 87 years old and me a "young" 74", that door is just too heavy.  

I called the assistant manager at the hotel and asked if I could switch shifts with the other part-time front desk agent.  She called the other agent and got back to me.  Yes, the switch can be made.  

Another day, another challenge.  

Some bloggers lead a dull life folks, not this blogger.  








Saturday, July 23, 2016

Sweltering!

That's us here on the East Coast folks! Under that heat dome.

Wow! Is it hot where you are?  Here, in southern Delaware, we're under a heat dome.  It's hot here folks!

So did any of you see the Republican Convention in Cleveland last week?  That Parade of Hate. That dystopian vision of Gotham City that Donald J. Trump envisions that America is.  And, of course, Donald J. Trump is the ONLY person who can save us from sliding into Mad Max vision he and his supporters have of America. Folks, Donald Trump is a sociopath. He is even a greater danger to this country today.

Trump giving acceptance speech at Republican Convention 


The hate and vitriol that was displayed during the Republican Convention was not our country folks. Scary. Truly scary.  I know there are yahoos out there.  Racists that have gloamed onto Trump and his message of wrecking the system.  Heck, I've even felt the same way myself.  I know there are folks who have legitimate concerns about the "rigged system" and want to break all the china and start over again.  But to elect Donald J. Trump as president?  A man who has probably never read a book in his entire life?  A man who has a zero attention span for the most important job in the world?  I don't think so folks.  But you know what?  He could just be elected.  That prospect literally causes chills to run down my spine. 

Enough said about that subject.

How are things going here?  Well, it's HOT here folks.  If I go outside even for a few minutes, I'm soaked in sweat. Shower time!

Temps here!


This hot and humid weather takes all the "oomph" out of me.  I don't have much of an appetite, which is good (got to get rid of my paunch and role which I fear I'm stuck with for the rest of my life). I don't feel like doing much housework and I certainly can't work outside (which I love) because I fear passing out from a heat stroke. Seriously, I do fear becoming one of those old folks that dies of heat exhaustion and is a statistic in the summertime newspapers.

I'm looking forward to watching the Democratic Convention next week.  The contrast will be so great.  From the Republican Convention that portrays America as Gotham City.

Gotham City


 As a Mad Max landscape. 

Mad Max landscape envision by Donald J Trump as America today

 To the Democratic Convention which will portray America as it really is, a country of diversity and hope.  A country where the rest of the world want to come to.  A country that some Muslim extremists are so jealous of that they seek to destroy it (which will never happen).  

I go for the light every time folks over the dark.









Wednesday, July 20, 2016

"Lock Her Up!"




Well, it is official now.  Donald J. Trump is the official nominee for president of the United States.

Let the games begin!

As those who have been following my blog know, I am a political junkie.  I am a former Republican (first vote I ever cast was for Barry Goldwater in 1964), turned progressive Democrat.  I changed when I realized that the Bush administration and his Republican allies in Congress were trying to screw me out of my EARNED veterans' benefits during their Reign of Terror.  

I further became estranged from the Republican party when Bush and his Republican allies demonized gays like me to scare voters into voting them in office.  "Bar the door Katie!  The Gays are coming!"

I am a fiscal conservative.  I always have been and always will be.  I believe in what I work for should be mine.  But I could never vote for most of today's version of Republican which view me as a gay person as "less than."  For a party that purports to believe in "getting the government out of our lives" why is it that today's Republicans are so interested in what goes on in my personal life between consenting adults?  Why do they believe that it is their right to tell a woman what to do with her body?  While I don't personally believe in abortion, I think the decision is the woman's, not some political hack.

So what is my take on the Republican Convention?  I have to admit I'm using the mute button a lot.  I have too.  Hey, I got it.  Hillary Clinton is the devil incarnate.  Why even the esteem Dr. Ben Carson last night during his speech compared Hillary to Lucifer.  Nice move Dr. Ben.  I'm sure you'll sway those independent voters who haven't made up their minds yet who they're going to vote for.  

If you listen to those Republicans who are spewing out their unbridled hateful speeches, one would think that Hillary is responsible for everything from the rise of ISIS to the Zika virus.  Oh yeah, IT'S ALL HILLARY'S FAULT.

What was really rich last night was when New Jersey governor Chris Christy gave his speech "making the case for the prosecutor" against Hillary Clinton.  Christy, who is under investigation for "Bridgegate."  Oh you all remember that little episode don't you?  Christy and his minions (of which he claims to have NO KNOWLEDGE) closed down the busiest bridge in the world (the George Washington Bridge) on 9/11 to make a point with a local Democratic mayor who wasn't supporting him.  Yes, THAT Chris Christy who form mentor, David Samson, who he appointed to the cushy Port Authority head job; just pleading guilty to bribery.  Took a plea agreement so his corrupt ass wouldn't end up in jail.  So this Chris Christy is "making the case for the prosecution" of Hillary Clinton (I'm still trying to figure out the dastardly deeds that Hillary did that is worthy of jail time). Chris Christy, the head of a true conspiracy who is trying to bully his way through the mess he got himself in, making the case against Hillary?  GIVE.ME.A.BREAK.

Hey, I'm not big fan of Hillary and especially not her husband, Slick Willie but surely, any reasonable person can see that Trump isn't going to "build a wall and make Mexico pay for it" nor is he going to "ban all Muslims from the country" nor is he "going to deport eleven million undocumented immigrants."  

Looks folks, Donald J. Trump is on the biggest ego trip of his life.  God bless him that he's managed to con so many Republican voters who have real concerns.  

But watching last night, the chants of "Lock her up!" brought back those bad old memories I decided that the Republican party was no longer my party. 

That moment was at the 1992 Republican Convention in Houston Texas.  Pat Buchanan was the speaker.  He gave such a hate filled, homophobic speech that I was stunned.  And what really gave me chills was the mostly white crowd of Republican delegates cheering him on, much like the "Good Germans" at a Nuremberg rally for Hitler or the "good white folks" at a lynching of a black man.  Folks, I got scared straight Democrat after that speech which in effect said "If you're not straight, we don't want you in our party!"  

I was gone folks.  And last night, hearing the "Good Germans" in that Republican delegate crowd chanting "Lock her up!" reminded me again of why I can no longer support the Republican Party.  

It is a party of hate and fear mongering.  

Monday, July 18, 2016

Open Carry

OH YEAH!  This is where I want to be, out in public with a Second Amendment Righter like this

Folks, can we talk here? 

Something has been bothering me a lot.  It's these absurd "Open Carry" laws.  This is the law of thirty-one states that permit gun owners to openly carry their firearms.



Now I realize that my rant blog postings aren't my most popular postings (witness my last blog posting about "Pet Peeves.")  But this subject is one that I have to scream from the mountain top that is: 

STUPID!!!!

What is this all about?  Why carry a gun in the store?  


Oh I know all about the "Second Amendment Rights" but seriously folks, even those of you who subscribe to carrying your AR-15 to Walmart, would you feel comfortable at a public event with your children standing next to a doofus with his AR-15 automatic rifle slung across his round shoulders?  REALLY?

Demonstrating for their "rights"


It's been interesting to watch the Cleveland police chief defend the right of gun owners to carry their automatic rifles over their shoulders ("it's the law") while banning these items at the Republican Convention.



Yes folks, beer cans, tennis balls, and rope are banned near the Republican Convention site but GUNS ARE NOT. 

Yeah, and it shouldn't be

We all know that the NRA owns many of our lawmakers.  The NRA tells those legislators to turn around, bend over and grab their ankles and those spineless legislators cowardly comply. 

What's wrong with this picture folks?  

Just what we need, kids with automatic rifles

I don't know about you folks but in today's environment of mass shootings, why is this a law?
Are those legislators so cowardly and venal that they would endanger the whole public just so the NRA wouldn't go after them?  

When I was growing up I was taught that people in authority knew what they were doing.  That is a person was elected to a public office they were there to PROTECT us.  HA!  It seems that many them are only there to serve the interests of whoever owns them.  Be they the one percent of the one percent who contribute to their campaigns or the NRA who holds the threat over those legislators' heads that they will go after them.  

We are the only country in this world that has more guns than people.  We are the only country in the world that has these stupid gun laws that permit just about anyone to carry an automatic rifle in public.  And speaking of automatic rifles, why?  Their only purpose is to kill people.  They belong in the military, not with kids to brandish about in public.

Bubba and Doofus display their power

Even my state, Delaware, which I have often considered progressive and logical minded, has an open carry law.  

The last time I had a rifle in my hands was in 1962 when I did my annual rifle qualification while I was in the Army at Ft. Meade Maryland.  I've never felt the need to have a gun in my possession since.  I don't kill animals.  I depend on my local police force to protect me against criminals. That's what they're paid for.  

I would never in a million years have a gun in my house. Mainly because that gun would probably be used against me or be the cause of a fatal accident.  On that extremely rare occasion should you have a home invasion, a baseball bat is your best defense.  In fact you should always carry one in your car.  

When my father died in 2000, my Mother told me and my two brothers "You can now have Pop's guns."  My father was a hunter and had several rifles in a gun cabinet.  That gun cabinet sat empty until she finally gave the cabinet and guns to the son of my father's hunting buddy, who had died earlier.  

I know I'm pretty dumb in a lot of areas but this is one area that I am a genius.  Open carry laws are just wrong.  And I hope we don't have anymore senseless loss of life due to this asinine law passed by bought and paid for legislators. 

Where is the common sense?

Now this is a Mother




Saturday, July 16, 2016

Pet Peeves



One of my favorite bloggers, "Jon" of "Lone Wolf Concerto" posted his "Hate List."  I've been thinking about posting my own hate list (God knows I hate a lot of things) but was hesitant to do so lest my followers would think that I wasn't the nice guy I purport to be on my blog postings.  But you know, I was so encouraged by Jon's post I'm going to go ahead with it anyway.  I'll start with posting Jon's list and add my own comments.

Here's Jon's list. His dislike is in red and his answer is in green.  My comment is in blue.


  • 1. Incessantly barking dogs.
  • I have a gun and know how to use it.
  • At our home in center city Philadelphia we were plagued with a neighbor's barking dog.  A red Irish Setter.  I hate red Irish Setters to this day.  We're lucky in the neighborhood where we live now, no barking dogs except the two Kuvasz who bark at my as I pass their backyard during my morning walk. 

  • 2. Children.
  • Yea, I know your kids and grandkids are adorable. Just keep them the hell away from my property.
  • Oh I know your kids (and grandkids) are just the perfect, exceptional, smart as a whip, little miracles born with ten fingers and ten toes.  But please keep them in your backyard.  I don't care to hear their ear piercing screams. Little girls are the worst with the screams.  The little boys don't scream.  I don't even know how to scream. 

  • 3. Tailgaters.
  • Follow too closely and I'll break quickly.
  • I've always wondered "What's the hurry?" with these folks.  I automatically slow down at least five miles when I'm being tailgated.

  • 4. Screaming babies.
  • Makes me think abortionists have the right idea.
  • Oh God, why on this earth do people take their babies to restaurants, in a baby basket yet?  Can't they afford a babysitter or do they just want to share their "little miracle" with the rest of us who would like to enjoy a quiet evening out having a meal without smelling baby poop during our meal.

  • 5. Marriage.
  • Straight, gay, whatever. I've always been adamantly opposed.
  • Disagree! Without marriage, if I died Bill would have to sell the house to pay the taxes and he would be destitute.  Marriage affords protection (we pay less taxes now that we file a joint return) that we haven't had most of our lives even though we were paying a higher tax rate than straight couples.  Oh no, now we don't have to jump through hoops and explain who we are when one tries to visit the other in the hospital (which we have had to do numerous times in our past).  Oh no, it's not easy not being married in our society.  We need the protection.

  • 6. Cell phones.
  • Who the hell are these obnoxious people constantly talking to?
  • GUILTY! I'm one of those obnoxious people who is always talking on the cell home.  Like this morning during my morning walk I talk to my Canadian buddy Pat on FaceTime while I walk.  Oh yes, I AM one of THOSE annoying people on their cell phone.  Look the other way.

  • 7. Sugar-Free
  • If it doesn't decay your teeth and make you fat, I don't want it.
  • Artificial crap which will kill you. Go natural like Stevia or agave.  

  • 8. Taxes
  • Enough said.
  • Leona Hemsley had it right when she said "Only the little people pay taxes."  She was jailed for telling the truth but nothing has changed.  It's still the little people who pay the taxes whether it be income tax of the heavy taxes on gas, soda and cigarettes. 

  • 9. "Awesome!"
  • The most annoyingly over-used word in the English language.
  • So many annoying over-used words in our society today like "at the end of the day."  WTF does that mean anyway?

  • 10. Weddings.
  • A complete waste of time and money. They'll be divorced in three years.
  • Tru dat! I remember I videotaped a friends wedding on the beach several years ago.  Lot of trouble and made copies on a flash drive for them.  Yep, they were divorced three years later. So much for BIG weddings. 

  • 11. Couples who proudly announce "We are pregnant."
  • You're not pregnant, you emasculated wimp. The cow is pregnant.
  • Another "tru dat!"

  • 12. Women who proudly proclaim "I'm a single mother."
  • What happened to the man, babe? Suicide? Or did you drive him away? Was it immaculate conception? I think there were a couple shots of sperm somewhere along the way.
  • The single moms get state aid this way.  Believe me, the dad is still around, screwing her making another baby that the state can pay for.

  • 13. Stay-at-home dad.
  • It sounds far too sissy.
  • It is sissy. No two ways about it. 

  • 14. Birthdays.
  • Save your damn cake and candles. I want to age  discreetly.
  • I don't mind birthdays, it the celebrations I can do without.  Who needs it?  I don't

  • 15. Algebra.
  • I still have horror flashbacks from the 11th grade.
  • I never "got it."  Never understood it or WHY we had to know it.  How many times would I have to figure out the square footage of a room in my lifetime?

  • 16. Rap music.
  • Take it back to Uganda where it belongs.
  • One of the biggest cons going. Never "got it" and never will.  I like "the beat" but not the lyrics.  There are lyrics?

  • 17. Shaving.
  • Continuous facial nicks and razor burn since I was seventeen. 
  • Grow a beard, that's what I did. 

  • 18. Getting up early.
  • If God wanted me to rise at dawn I'd be a rooster.
  • No matter how late I go to bed the latest I get up in the morning is 7 am.  This morning it was 5 am.  However, I do take a major nap in the afternoon.  DO NOT disturb me between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.

  • 19. Contests.
  • Rigged. Phony. Look at me! I'm the best!
  • Absolutely!  They're all rigged.  ALL OF THEM!

  • 20. Surveys.
  • You don't really want my opinion....
  • I complete waste of MY time.  Especially the ones at the end of your supermarket checkout receipt that wants you to on on the Internet to tell them about "your experience" shopping there and maybe you'll "win a prize".  NO ONE EVER WINS and you just contributed to their marketing survey for free. 

  • 21. Audio Books and eBooks.
  • If it's not made of paper and I can't turn the pages, I don't want it.
  • Not for me.  I want a real book that I can hold in my hands.  Besides, this is one of the biggest ripoffs going now because they charge just as much for audio and e-books as they did for printed books.  Big profit margin because they don't have to print the books or distribute them.  Whose making millions off of this?

  • 22. Passwords.
  • Holy shit, I have at least fifty of them.
  • One of the banes of my existence.  Pretty soon I'll have to have a password to take a dump.

  • 23. Instant Messaging.
  • I rank that with instant coffee. The only instant thing I want is sex.
  • Instant messaging, no.  Text messaging, yes.

  • 24. Windows Updates.
  • Why do they have twenty updates a week?
  • I dumped Windows years ago and it was still too late.  Should have done it years ago.  Another massive fraud, Windows based computers.

  • 25. Facebook. 
  • A Communist organization.
  • More millions for goofy Mark Zuckerberg. But I do like sharing family photos even though most of my family doesn't appreciate it.  Maybe someone down the line will after I'm long gone.

  • 26. Stravinsky.
  • Ear torture.
  • Like rap music, WTF?  What am I missing here?

  • 27. NASA
  • Biggest waste of money in the history of the United States.
  • Tru dat! Tru dat!  All those billions dollars spent just so Houston can transmit images of the  astronauts in the orbiting space ship floating around in zero gravity. Send them to Disneyland, it's a lot cheaper.

  • 28. Greenpeace and PETA.
  • I chop down trees, barbecue beef, and wear real fur.
  • Wanna rumble??
  • Oh no, BIG disagree.  Oh sure, Greenpeace and PETA are perhaps a little too self righteous but some balance has to take place. Thank goodness we're past the day when beating to death a tired old horse passed as entertainment in our culture when dray horses were disposed of this way in 19th century New York City. . That "fun thing" was what started the ASPCA.

  • 29. Political Correctness.
  • Trotskyism at its worst.
  • True, true but also add hypocrisy. The Republicans are all against political correctness until it comes to their stances. Then it's "They're taking Christ out of Christmas!"  No they're not. I can say "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Christmas" and I don't need some narrow minded right winger telling me to wish "Merry Christmas" to everyone on my list.

  • 30. Affirmative Action. 
  • I just scrapped my opinion on this. I didn't want to scare you.
  • Agreed! Putting someone at the head of the line just because they're of a certain skin color is WRONG.  I grew up poor and white and was always at the back of the line.  Why should someone go ahead of the line just because they have the favored skin color of the day?

  • 32. Doctors and Scientists.
  • I detest anyone who likes to play God.
  • They're people just like you and I. No better, no worse. Just a different skill set.

  • 33. NY Times Bestseller List.
  • Consistently some of the most incredibly bad books I've ever read.
  • Oh so true!  I never found a book I liked on the NYT Bestseller List.  Another fraud.

  • 34. Football.
  • America's biggest waste of time.
  • Just an excuse to run multiple commercials on TV. Too many time outs. You can only see so many tight butts.  After awhile the fun wears off. Football games on TV is just one commercial running into another interrupted briefly by some football. Doesn't anyone get this yet?

  • 35. Spam.
  • I'm talking computer spam. Not canned Spam.
  • Like shit, it will always be with us.

  • 36. Fine Cuisine.
  • I don't want bean sprouts and quail beaks. I want a side of beef and 5 lbs. of potatoes. With gravy.
  • I don't need a "presentation" on my plate. I'm not asking much.  Only food that taste good at a price that doesn't require me to take out a line of credit to pay for it.

  • 37. Lima Beans.
  • Dry, repulsive, tasteless.
  • Nope! I like lima beans.  Especially lima bean soup. Can't get enough.  And succotash.  Lima beans with corn.  Yum!

  • 38. Okra
  • Slimy. Thoroughly disgusting.
  • Only in Campbell's Chicken Gumbo soup. Otherwise, a slimy mess.

  • 39. Spiders, scorpions, ticks.
  • AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
  • Never met a scorpion. Spiders, I give a wide berth.  Ticks I kill.

  • 40. Washing Dishes.
  • Don't tell me to get a dishwasher. I hate them. Washing dishes by hand is a piss, but at least it keeps my fingernails clean.
  • I actually like washing dishes.  Our first two houses I had the automatic dishwasher taken out.  Our last house we had to put one in (we never used it) in order to sell the frigging house after hearing too often "Where's the dishwasher?"  Here we have one, haven't used it in a couple years, not since our last dinner guest when we messed up a lot of dishes.

  • 41. Caustic criticism.
  • There's no such thing as innocuous criticism. It's always intended to hurt. And it's often inspired by jealousy. 
  • Right on the mark! And you're right, often inspired by jealously.  

  • 42. Cleaning the cat's litter box.
  • I have three cats and they shit more than an elephant herd.
  • Not a favorite activity of mine but since I don't have cats, doesn't apply.
Now here are some things I dislike with a great intensity:

  • Seafood. I hate any kind of seafood. It's the fishy smell.  That smell gags me for obvious reasons (figure it out, I'm a gay guy)

  • Looks like what the tide left on the beach

  • Macaroni and cheese - another "gagger" - I would literally through up if I had to eat mac and cheese.  Funny thing though, I like other pasta
  • Rhubarb. I almost died one eating rhubarb pie.  I was literally on the ground rolling over in pain.  
  • Food with artificial ingredients.  Again, my stomach rebels.  
  • Gay guys who act and talk like women.  Hey, I'm gay which means my sexual preference is men.  If I was sexually attracted to a woman I would go after the real thing.  Why in the world would I be comfortable with a gay man acting like a woman?

  • Oh yeah, this is what I LIKE (NOT)
  • Telemarketers.  I solved this problem by removing my land line.  The people who set up telemarketing companies deserve a special place in hell.
  • Computer viruses - those bastards who develop the viruses that plague Windows based computers also deserve their own special place in hell.
  • Bill Gates - self evident. A totally repellent human being. 
  • Mark Zuckerberg.  Okay, okay. We know you're a genius so get your goofy face out of mine.
  • Internet Billionaires. Okay, I admit it, I'm jealous. Why them and not me?
  • Comcast. A company which has rightly earned the reputation as the Worst Service Company In The World.
  • Charities.  Most are only devices for those running the charities to become fifty rich.  
  • 10K Run or any kind of runs.  Hey, you get that many people together, get them to pick up the roadside trash.

  • Talking heads on TV who can't talk.  One would think someone one TV would know how to talk without all the "Ummms" "Ahhs" and "You knows."
  • Law enforcement officers who hold a "news conference". After the latest tragedy they act like they won the Academy Award by thanking everyone and telling us all how great they are and how much they are "cooperating" (if they have to say it, they're not "cooperating) with the FBI.  Then when they're asked about the tragedy, they give no information.  It's all a big frigging secret.  They're just there to hold the  "news briefing" to pat themselves on the back.  And the TV covers it, always! Those "news conferences" aren't news, they're just self congratulatory orgies. We got it, you're all heroes. Here's a bulletin:  it' you job.
  • Gun nuts who believe in "Open Carry". Oh yeah, walking around with an AR15 on your should make you a BIG MAN. Probably more like you have a penis size issue.
  • Man with small penis exercising his Second Amendment rights at the local fast food store.  Oh yeah, this make some feel so much safer.

  • Pickup truck with big wheels. Same situation as above, the size of the truck and wheels is usually directly proportional the penis size of the driver (compensation) 

  • Celebrities who give interviews and say nothing.  Okay, okay we now you're more popular that God but get over yourself.
  • Celebrities who name their kids weird names like (all true by the way) "North West", "Ode Mountain", "Jagger Snow", "Rocket Zot", and "Rainbow Aurora".  Hey celebs.  We know  your shit doesn't stink and you're SOOOO special but once you get your head out of your ass have you ever considered that perhaps, just perhaps that darling miracle that you produced is going to be stuck with that name the rest of their lives even unto the time they're 85 years old and in a rocking chair at the Old Folks Home.  I can see it now, the great grandkids visiting grandma "Jagger Snow."  Give me a break!
  • Taking your shoes off at the airport.  Now seriously folks, how many potential shoe bombers have we caught since we instituted this asinine procedure? ZERO.

Another potential Shoe Bomber thwarted 
  • Airport security. A misnomer if there ever was one.  Nothing like getting "patted down" at the airport before I get on the plan, half aroused.  Hey airport security, why are you patting down this old man?  Do I really look THAT dangerous? You flatter me.
So there you go folks, me indulging myself.  Exorcising the demons that lay just below the surface of my sunny personality.  

Ah, that felt good.





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