Tuesday, August 28 ♥
didnt update blog for one week! internet sucks at home.
Schools been great! MT...i love going for that lesson but hate doing that tons of homework. Like duh!
So yesterday was "pertengahan syaaban"
I went to Grands place at 6.40 straight from school. Im so tired la. Stayed back just to finish up my Folio. But till now its still half done. Had my shower and start praying. Reciting the yasin or 3 times. Urgh1 hate it. i feel so tired and sleepy. AFTER that solat isyak and went to bed staright after that. Didnt study and do up my dnt. Like shit kans????
Its galah's 17TH bdae today! happy bdae galah....surprise2 yar???
got myself a new mp3 lah shit!
Well, when u say that, obviously u dont trust me is it? You know i hate him.Hmm.
Saturday, August 18 ♥
I'm getting too optimistic about everything. And none of it turns out the way i want it to be. Is it right to be optimistic about something you know can never turn out the way i want it to be?
I just admire Zaki. He's so young to understand what i went through sometimes but he certainly handles it way better than i did :D!
I had been telling Zaki everything that's bothering me. And and guess what? He told me what to do with it. A 11 year old boy telling me what to do. Oh boy.. I wish he is old enough to be my friend. I just don't know who to tell all my problems to. It seems..
Can i have dimples? I love HUMAN BEINGS with DIMPLES.
shit
Friday, August 17 ♥
Shit man all those human being.
Urgh! you are being unreasonable,selfish,not-understanding-at-all human!
I just dont understand my dad. I don't know why he has been acting weird these days. He's getting selfish too! It has always been me who gave in everything. ME as in his ONLY daughter! C'mon. he's a grown up.He should understand. AND ive never seen my dad asking money from my mom. Kononyer claim lah tu. Even last week he asked money from my mom to buy food for us. PLEASE lah! that money is yours too! What a disgrace.
Duit suami adalah duit isteri. Duit isteri adalah duit isteri itu sendiri. Don't yo know your basic in ISLAM????? urgh! And he is always making my mom mad. I pity my mom. Everytime she took her wuduk, my dad will like always terlanggar her. Imean, thats rude. So what if they are husband and wife? HARAM is still haram. Batal air sembahyang geng!
My dad. whatever. orang dah buat baik ngan dier, he treat me like nfkajhfjdk.
I was nice to my fren, they are rude to me. ok2. i dont want to make myself sound pathetic. i dont need beings who are rude. when i asked them nicely, they reply rudely like my dad. Whats wrong with this old man. Tue tinggal tue jer.
boring
Thursday, August 16 ♥
Today sucks. Two words that can describe today. I guess it is just my mood swings. I enjoyed malay lesson today cos i have a new partner. Azrin! yeay-ness. Confirm kecoh! Weehee. Hate sitting alone sometimes. The rest of the day was like so boring. I slept for most of the subject. I cant stand it with the cold weather and the bad cold that im having and the boring lessons that made me yawn most of the time.
It's hard to face a couple of groups in school sometimes. It reminds me when i was in sec 1. Gosh! i was pretty quiet back then.
I saw Aisah's god sis at the play ground yesterday.HAHA. she has the innocent look. but my judgement sucks la. DUH. i cant stop smilling to myself whenever i saw her. It's her look seriously reminded me of SOMEONE 4 years back. Wah.. now obviously that someone went for a "makeover." Look better now. all that kental look is gone. Okay someone, u look so kental back then. yar..me too...i know..
Chased by some senile ass is better than chased by a dog. Holly marcaroni. I was chased by a dog. I sprained my ankle again after jumping from a flight of stairs. I did that once when i was in primary 5 if im not wrong. I was chased by two crazy young girls. I hate them. I hate running down the stairs. and so, I took off from the top. There's like 6 steps. And i jumped off. I almost had a perfect landing. i twisted my right feet. and now my right feet is like not perfectly straight. I twisted my ankle like a dozen time. so it is something cliche. Hell! im used to it.
...
Tuesday, August 14 ♥
Hey shits! Didn't go to school today. I'm either LAZY, TIRED or SICK. you can choose any of the choices that best describe me. To be frankly enough, I kind of lose interest going to school. But no worries i just need something to motivate myself. Any good news about something. It`s kind of like a bait for me so that I will go to school. I studied today. Yes. I STUDIED. I revise Math practicaly the whole day. Hit myself with a book whenever there's a silly mistake. I woke up around 12pm. Yes! finally i had more than 8 hours of sleep. I slept at 3am. So thats one of the reason why i didn't go to school today. But that wasn't enough. I went to Grand's place and watch Transformers. Which ironically made me dozed off. Idk why. Simpsons is best if watch it once. The movie was boring when i watch it again..Like they say, the first is always the best. I kinda miss going for Physics and Geo lesson. I hate relationships.
b3 is not mine
Monday, August 13 ♥
I did extremely bad for my prelim. It looks like i have to re-take all my papers again after the September holidays. When i say bad, i mean as in atrocious. The results that i produce can be compared to those who didn't attend school at all. And i think those who were hardly in school did way better than me. I mean way better than me.
My atrocious results pinch me certainly. I realise everything ok? I was like "shit! darn.I have lots of stuff to do..."
I wanna get b4-a1 for all my subjects for the next re-prelim. Who cares what others says. Eventhough it states in the report book that i get c6, atleast i prove myself taht im ready for the O level. Nothing is impossible.
Malay O level was released just now. Obviously i didn't get what i aim for. I get a B3 and a dissapointing MERIT for my Oral. See, aisah! i told you my perbualan is bad. I really pity dearest besty though. She scored a shocking B4. Where did she go wrong? I knew it she wanna break down but still don't want admit huh? never mind,aisah... You are the only. There's Azrin Taufiq khalil anad the rest from Cikgu Azizah`s class. Getting a B3 never crossed my mind.
darn! before I collect my reslts just now, should have prayed for A1. atleast i will get A2. I prayed that i get A2 seyy.. So, like they always say, "Aim for the sky. even if u fall, u will land among the clouds."
Macam kenal jer...is it from my NCC tshirt???
Aisah, eventhough i did better than you, it's a grade different from you. It didn't make any difference. Maybe a mark or two separates us...you get what i mean right?? So geting a B3 and you getting a B4 is really nothing. Look on the bright side ok? Cheer up...and maybe after Cikgu make her kajian sains, she will tell you where you go wrong okies??? Stop comparing my results with you again tau!
happy!
Sunday, August 12 ♥
Aah!! I am gonna love this two insan my whole life. OF cos im gonna love my family for like infinity too! But thes two insan..they always wow-ed me! Chey mcm paham jer...
I love them cos..I just can't stop loving them. They are like..hrmps...hard to explain lah. Oh gosh! InsanS!
I love my dear god-sis. Yes you, pantat aka handsome aka Bulaann! I still care about u after what u did to me lah handsome. ok i dont know why i cant stop calling you handsome.
And and my dear besty. Ok, i dont know whats wrong with Aisah these days. But anyways, im gonna love besty. Saper yang tak syg kawan seyy...
I am still gonna care about u like how i did all these while even after what u blog in the previous post. Call me stubborn or whatever. Im gonna be there for you. I just want that bubbly you back,can?
I cried when i read nurul's blog. they are darn sweet. How sweet can this couple be?? I admit i hate that cicak. But im starting to accept him! See! im a lover by nature! i dont hate people anyhow kays? Just give me sometime.I love them together. wan, kau jgn jadi mcm dulu sudah lah ehk...I cried cos im happy for them.
Aah!im starting to "love" those i used to hate. Syahmi, Rusedi, etc. U name it. But im still trying to accept the remaining few...
I really dont know whats wrong with me. But im just happy. Im still worried abt someone though. *sighs*
kau nie bbl mcm paham jer lah...kau bbl mepek,atiqah....
im insane!
...
♥
It looks like I am gonna sleep late everyday. Yesterday, went to Nenek`s place. We had a small family gathering and kenduri tahlil which we never fail doing it every year. I was looking forward to that gathering. It's another time of the year I get to meet another half of my family. Obviously, I was happy.
Uncle Jamal gave us a short but simple Syarahan about Rasulullah ws. It was fun. Recite all those koran and we had a feast. I didn't eat that much. I was not in a mood. Help out in cleaning the place,solat and just watch TV with those kids. Oh my god! Nazrin.. you are getting bulat? Yeayness! We are gonna have a chalet next month. I don't think i can spent my whole time entertaining those kids. Os are just around the corner. It seems that im gonna be representative whenever there is such events. Parents are always busy working and bro has to report to camp on weekends. And that leaves me all alone at home. *SIGHS*
It sucks when u have to eat alone everyday at home.
I wish i could rent out my brother's room. I can earn extra pocket money. At the end of the week when my brother comes home, the tenant will go home or share a room with my brother? what a stupid idea. Nuts. It's just an idea that I propose. Atleast i wouldn't feel alone at home. Im not gonna stay at nenek`s place again. Eeew! never. Maybe once in awhile since my mom hardly meets her.
How I wish i was born deaf or blind. Look at the bright side of being dumb or mute. No! No! maybe i was born retarded. Abnormal.
i got hold of myself
Saturday, August 11 ♥
Maybe I should make myself clear what happened to me at the party...
The temptation to drink was very strong. I was offered twice. And i rejected twice without hesitating to explain to her why i am not allowed to drink. Obviously she was shocked and she told someone drank. Even when they offered me cigarettes. i didn't took it. Not even a puff.
Itu dorang nyer pasal dorang minum. Godaan from setan was so strong. I was in control,ok. I have never felt any temptation that strong before. I have heard and read about other teenagers drinking but i have never came across one until yesterday. I was shocked that many drank. They disappoint me obviously. but what can i do? it's their life. After all, they are old enough to think what's right and what's wrong.
I have never felt this happy to get away with something so strong. I am proud to say that my religion, Islam forbids us from drinking. I don't think many would do that when they see their friends drink and they think its cool to drink. Why say it now when many out there are drinking like as if it's holy water? I have proven to myself that I can resist the strongest temptation yet.
superb
♥
I met with a freak sccident yesterday. Oh, i didnt die nor suffer any bruises but a slight headache though cos of the hard fall and a chest pain.I was knocked down by a car on Friday.
Nicole's birthday party was superbly awesome. Only if you were at the dance floor. Yesterday's paty sure made me into someone different inside.
Met the rest at the "great wall." Akil and i were the ones who reached first. waited for the rest. some of the guys,aisha and i went to WM. we bought some of the sweetest gifts that we could ever find there. Went to ECP by train and bus. Thanks Siti aisha stephany for the whole advice. Yes. Yes. i think you are the only one who says that i felt betrayed. Yes.Yes. you got my pointy. Oh GOSH, I LOVE YOU LAH REAPER! We bought some food at Bedok int bazaar as we were all really hungry. Took 196 to Marine Parade and had the long walk to the chalet. As soon as we reached there we surprised her with all those gifts. Of cos i didnt forget to tell her aboout the present that I bought for her and who was it from too. The 5N2s get together and sang a birthday song for her. Then we got the party started! We played lots of song. And the dance floor was certainly warm. We switched off all the lights and started dancing.
Amir Syazwan`s band members came. My classmates left me. They went home except for me and Shi Min. The party stopped.
Shi Min, Amir, Salam, Wan, Rasul, Syahid and Faizal went by the beach. Sat under the shelter and start singing lots of sond. Oasis, Artic monkeys and John Mayer. Just to name a few. Its Oasis! They started drinking and smoking. They drank Vodka and stuff. Faizal gave me a cup. But I reject ok! I didnt drink a sip pon. Really!
Salam, Shi Min and I went back to the water breaker. I swear they both were half drunk. Shi Min`s face was warm and red. Salam complaint that his head was like spinning and he felt that his head was heavy. They both like stick together through out. They click so well. At the water breaker, they both start to spout nonsense. Lots of crazy things that they say and imagine. And I went home at 1am...late huh?
I missed the smell of the beach. I missed the late night breeze that went through my hair. The atmosphere was very relaxing. Yesterday was not enough.
everlast
Wednesday, August 8 ♥
And so today is the eve of National day. We had the celebration is school just now. Ok. The celebration was boring at first. I still prefer having it with the community. Skip..skip..
School is getting more restricted.
No Youth Day celebration, we are not allowed to wear home clothes for Teachers' day (that's what i heard), Budget hotel for Prom nite, AAC was boring..
I think he shouldn't have emphasise so much the fact that other school principals came down to our school. Schools from foreign countries came to our school and we played host. School has changed so much in less than 3 years. It didn't impress me that much. Why spent so much? Do we even deserve it?
I think he is arrogant, show-off and boring...He don't have the sense of humour to humour us..
went to town straight after celebration. bought Nichole's birthday present.
ok. done.
Falling in love with the Everlast long sleeve brown shirt at the heeren. and and the everlast shoes and and the ripcurl mug...yipees..
alamak..why did you spoilt my day AGAIN by telling me that Nurul's attached???? so? what do u want me to do???? geng arh kau,hulk...Somebody accidently broke that news to me just now morning was enough okay?
regret!
Tuesday, August 7 ♥
I prove myself right by doing the wrong things. I know I was stupid. Because of what I did, the consequences made a fool out of me. A kid like me getting that kind of stuff? HAHA. I have no idea how to break the news to my great friends from 5N1(it's below 6 great friends) and to some of my teachers. Especialy my FT. I totally regret for what I did. I am thinking how to get rid of it. It's within me. It's hard to forget about the whole thing. It's hard to go around the school without having facing it everyday. It scares me now. I am totally awake now. The reality got the better of me. OK. What the hell was i thinking when I did it? Why didn't I thnk of the consequences? I am being selfish. I dissapoint them.
Does the paragraph above makes u think what I am talking about? NVM. i am keeping it within me myself and I.
Design..argh! I had to re-do it again for like the3rd time. 3rd time. Mind you!
Should have listen to the rest. What am i suppose to do now? Im not gonna carry heavy load eveyday to school back and fro. I cant hide it. As days passed, it will grow and i don't think i can hide it from the rest of the school. Soon, i can't have fun. All these stuff is making me sick.
Ya Allah..
Why didn't I listen to the circle of friends around me? Is it too late for me to regret?
aac sucks
Sunday, August 5 ♥
I didn't go for the Innovation talks and stuff but instead I went after the talk. I sat with Iman,Akil and the rest at the canteen. Ate something. I didn't know that Fir's band is playing. I was beyond Ecstasy when i found out about the band. Yes! my dream came true! Syirah joined us. They played lots of my favourite songs from Audioslave to muse to the band itself, Dark Rossa. I love their original song. I just can't stop staring at the way the drummer played the drum. He was superbly superb. Their last song was Hysteria by muse! By wth! the base drum skin tore. Shits and they had to stop playing altogether. Fir's anak buah is so the cute and she happened to have the same name as mine. I carried her in my arms till she felt asleep. Oh yar she drool on my blouse. But fir's sister said that Atiqah actually licked my blouse. EEE.. thank god she's just a kid. Did i mention that the Dark Rossa's frontman look like Ifwat? ahakz...What an amazing pair of eyes you have, nemo..
Crappy shit! The AAC was boring. Ok i did had some fun. Abit. tinny winny bit. I clap for like almost everybody. And i gave the loudest for PANTAT! I think I was the only one screaming/shouting (whatever you call it) when she receive her prize. Ms Ng scold me for shouting. hehes..Omg! Ms Ng laughed at me so semangat but she beat my arm like so sissy?? Maybe the sits for the student audience should be a "first come first serve" basis..I had a difficult time trying to see them dance. Even Akashah stood up to see the dancers perform. Which i find it abit odd cos she's the only one standing. But she had no choice but to stand i guess. I think the NP's fancy drill is better than the NCC's un-armed combat. The un-armed combat is so boring. Talk big. Yeah I know. I still prefer the parade.
Did anyone actually saw Mr Adam sort of dance?
Fade..Fate..Faith
Saturday, August 4 ♥
I'm just so happy right now. Hearing those songs. Gave me the guts to start hating you and to stop caring about you. I don't want to waste my breath on you. I feel like telling you off. I seriously have had enough of you. Oh gosh! It happened so fast. within minutes reading and listening,I learn to hate you.
Can we just be friends?
I wish Dark Rossa will be playing later during the Annual Awards. Fingers Crossed.
I don't like it when everybody and anyone talk about parents. They will go " o uh you know..your parents actually do care about you. They have your interest in your heart." Year..year.. Whatever!
To tell everyone and anyone the truth, I don't think my parents were proud of me in anything I do. I know. Okay, during the N level result..I made it to Sec 5. They were happy only for a couple of hours. Then everything is back to normal. Normal typical day. I proved to my dad that i did better than my brother. That`s what he wants. YAR! WHATEVER. All they did was work and work and work. In my CCA. Don't even mention it. I don't think they know what's my rank now. All they did was to make a fool out of me. Fcuk! Especially my dad. So what if he used to be a boxer,runner or whatever sports he's in and represented his god damn unit? So what if my Uncle is just liked him? Represented Singapore and stuff.Oh crappy shit! I don't think I'm like my brother. I did pretty well in almost anything he does. Even my mom says I'm more independent than him. I think You pampered us too much when we were young. Blame the way u brought us up. Yes brother maybe a young lad now. Pious. Argh! no point arguing. Sometimes whatever I did, its for the sake of doing it.Not wanting to put my heart and soul into it. So what if I achieve something that my brother didn't get to achieve? It's nothing to my parents and friends. It's all wasted. Waste of my time and energy.
I wished i had a wonderful parents like yours, Aisah
look! im sick again...and again
Friday, August 3 ♥
Design paper.
Hah! i hate the atmosphere. I sit like the fifth sit from the front. Beside my class was 4e2. It is really boring. And there was the 4Ns student. There are like 5 of them. 4 girls and a guy. Hah! can we make a how out of it? Wan! muke kau relax lah bile buat exam. Not just him, the rest of the girls too! they look tense? Before the exam, wan talked to me. Oh boy i can see how nervous he was before the exam. Aku kesian bodoh tengok kau! Ms Ng saw what i was doing. She kinda laugh at me. Im being silly.
Science paper.
Ok its official i suck at physics and i did slightly okay for my Chemistry. Firay! ireally need your brain.
It is just so sickening..
me : Im going out on the 10th august.
mom : where to?
me : friend`s bdae party.
mom : whos bdae?
me :..
Before i could say who`s bdae she went...
mom : Aisah nyer birthday?
oh gosh... it s really frustrating...
done.
shitss...
out..
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