the one about clara's 22nd... oh it was worth it, if just to see clara get wasted.

Labels: birthday, clara

  ¶ 11:34 PM 0 Comments

  the one about religion i had a horrible dream that night. we were all at t i m b r e and people started ordering pizzas and when the pizzas came, they all started eating and left nothing for me! the horrors.

please don't do that to me? i don't like people eating all my food.

***

sometimes i have thoughts that scare me. there are some topics i deliberately avoid because i don't have answers to them and the unknown frightens me. yet sometimes the topic inevitably arises and i find myself thinking about things i don't want to think about.

10 billion years from now would there still be a me? in death do i disappear? what happens to all my thoughts? do they just cease to exist? if there is rebirth and i do get reborn, where would i be? would i still think like how i think now? how can something as real as you and me just disappear when our hearts stop beating? would i be "me" in someone else? if i exist in the afterlife, what happens then?

i guess i'm more skewed towards buddhism. i'm not sure i believe in judgement day because i think the world would be overpopulated and then the world ends faster.

hur sorry for mixing religion with scientific concerns but it's a very real problem.

this is one of the reasons i havent been able to believe in a religion. there are different after-life theories that different religions subscibe to but who can claim to have solid evidence of the correct-ness of their own theories? i don't want to believe in what would happen to me after death; i want to know.

maybe it's appropriate that i didn't choose to do my fyp on religion. how can i do a thesis on something i don't believe in and have no answers for?

and for all the tens of thousands of books i've read; i'm annoyed to know that words still get in the way.

Labels: death, religion

  ¶ 4:26 PM 0 Comments

  the one without hall... i don't know.


everything seems stagnated without hall.

like there's nothing to look forward to, nothing to get ready for, nothing to pack for.

i don't know.

but it should be for the better.

right?  ¶ 11:27 PM 0 Comments

  my super last day i survived my internship.

all the treachery and gossiping and backstabbing; i escaped unscathed.

all the laughter, the fun and the inside jokes; i will hold dear.

i'm just glad to be rid of gossipy people who backstab like C. old hag.

all the rest i will miss.

somehow the end didnt really tear me up. indicative? i hope not.

but it was celebrated with booze, good music and great company.


here's to carona, eic, shit and wen. cheers.  ¶ 2:19 AM 0 Comments