i guess there are things that I want, but i can't get them
they say to grab at things when opportunity arises.
i dont know if i made a mistake at this.
stuck? or to be content?
why is this so hard?
changes or binges?
haiz...................
i guess i shd just go fly a kite. =)
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
It's that time of the year already, thanksgiving has passed, christmas is yet to come.
life still goes on.
good or bad
like it or not
we trudge on the road we call life
take a breather, lose a footing
one step forward, three steps back
it always sucks to feel sucky
but its a way of think,
re-examining myself.
What I want isn't what i'm doing
What I want to do just aint happening.
Cheers to a long purposefilled Spirit led life
I know God will provide.
Somehow. I trust you
itsallaboutyouwhenallelsefadesYouwillprovide
life still goes on.
good or bad
like it or not
we trudge on the road we call life
take a breather, lose a footing
one step forward, three steps back
it always sucks to feel sucky
but its a way of think,
re-examining myself.
What I want isn't what i'm doing
What I want to do just aint happening.
Cheers to a long purposefilled Spirit led life
I know God will provide.
Somehow. I trust you
itsallaboutyouwhenallelsefadesYouwillprovide
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
its a new 2010 year. and so far, things are starting to take its toll on me already
i'm dropping out of the worship ministry, taking charge of a bunch of youths, friends going overseas for exchange programs, starting school, started work. feeling really really disappointed at myself.
I remember when i was young, i had big dreams that one day, I WILL be traveling the world, studying in the United Kingdom, or playing in a band and travel all over the world.
Now as an adult, things are just so different. Things aren't the way I would like it to be. going overseas to study just isn't an option anymore. Its a big NO NO. Traveling the world, its also a BIG NO NO. Playing in a band. sheesh. i just suck at playing the guitar. my dream to play the saxophone? worst still.. its just downright outrageous.
I could just go on and on about how sad my life is, how it sucks to be me, how things are. I just can't seem to be happy with things around me. I want things to be done in a certain way, i HOPE things will be done in a certain way. its just not the way. a rebel. a betrayer. I dont know which is which. all i know is that, everything i had dream of, or work hard for, or hoped for. just ain't happening.
sometimes i just want to resign to my fate and oh wells. thats the way the cookie crumbles. it really sucks. but it seems that life must go on. I'll trudge along, if only routine, joy-less, soul-less. cos that is what everyone expects of me.
who am i to say that i want things this way or that? im just a small fry, no.. im a nobody. Only God knows me, and all i want to do is to know Him. i hope that thats all i am able to do...
cheers
i'm dropping out of the worship ministry, taking charge of a bunch of youths, friends going overseas for exchange programs, starting school, started work. feeling really really disappointed at myself.
I remember when i was young, i had big dreams that one day, I WILL be traveling the world, studying in the United Kingdom, or playing in a band and travel all over the world.
Now as an adult, things are just so different. Things aren't the way I would like it to be. going overseas to study just isn't an option anymore. Its a big NO NO. Traveling the world, its also a BIG NO NO. Playing in a band. sheesh. i just suck at playing the guitar. my dream to play the saxophone? worst still.. its just downright outrageous.
I could just go on and on about how sad my life is, how it sucks to be me, how things are. I just can't seem to be happy with things around me. I want things to be done in a certain way, i HOPE things will be done in a certain way. its just not the way. a rebel. a betrayer. I dont know which is which. all i know is that, everything i had dream of, or work hard for, or hoped for. just ain't happening.
sometimes i just want to resign to my fate and oh wells. thats the way the cookie crumbles. it really sucks. but it seems that life must go on. I'll trudge along, if only routine, joy-less, soul-less. cos that is what everyone expects of me.
who am i to say that i want things this way or that? im just a small fry, no.. im a nobody. Only God knows me, and all i want to do is to know Him. i hope that thats all i am able to do...
cheers