smtimes.. i think i shdn't be doing this.. but.. i can't help it.. i guess tts wad following ur heart means.. like.. literally..haha.. guess im reallie in a good mood now.. and i think it'll stay for quite some time here. haha. =)

well.. feelings do change.. and smtimes.. tt can be either a good or a bad thing. and well.. i dunno wad it is right now.. cos.. well.. there's a ton of problems.. but onli one really really MAJOR problem lorh.. haiz.... but.. oh well.. i will do my best to make it a good thing.. tt i will do my best.. give my bestest best (sound familar?) effort tt it'll last..

smtimes.. the impossible do happen.. like.. for eg.. no one expected tt wolves wld beat man u 1 nil.. but they did.. neither did anyone expect tt saddam hussien wld be caught.. but he was.. or tt the twin towers wld be crashed into.. or tt i wld pass my chinese...... -_-|| the list goes on and on.. but.. as i've said.. the impossible DO happen.. (i pass my chinese?) and yea.. we all get shocked and surprised by it and all.. but one thing to note is tt.. no matter wad.. it HAS happened.. be it good or bad.. and we shd all like.. not cont to dwell on it anymore.. yea..

had a marvelous/teriffic/amzing/wonderful/fabulous/splendid/______(fill in the blanks) today.. yupps.. dun ask me about it.. just noe tt i had a reallie marvelous/teriffic/amzing/wonderful/fabulous/splendid/______(fill in the blanks) time today.. yupps.. haha.. onli thg tt dampened it is.. that..

I LOST

MY

HANDPHONE!!!!

haiz.... i hate myself at times.. haiz.... nwae.. come to think of it.. yea.. who wants my hp?? those who used/noe my hp well enough.. its like.. i pay u to like.. take my hp.. u wun want it too.. its like.. virtually useless lorh.. haha.. even tho its a 6610.. its like.. mabbie even worse den useless... yupps.. haha..

oh well.. think im gonna zonked out real soon.haha. good nite peeps.. =)

once more.. for you..

what is love cos baby i don't know
i got a funny feeling in my heart
if this is love it feels like butterflies
so tell me baby is this who it starts

i know i've never felt like this before
you're like a drug you've got me wanting more
i've got to let you know i've got to let you know

you're you're my number one/i'd do anything for you
catch the rain from the sky/even hold back the tide for you
baby baby you're you're my number one/with you i know i belong
i put the radio on and it's always playing our song

tell me what what i have gotta do
cos i wanna lay a claim on you baby
to make you mine for now and for all time
so tell me baby what i gotta do

i know i've never felt like this before
you're like a drug you've got me wanting more
i've got to let you know i've got to let you know

you're you're my number one/i'd do anything for you
catch the rain from the sky/even hold back the tide for you
baby baby you're you're my number one/with you i know i belong
i put the radio on and it's always playing our song

and there ain't nothing i won't do
i'd walk on water just to be with you

baby baby

you're you're my number one/i'd do anything for you
catch the rain from the sky/even hold back the tide for you
baby baby you're you're my number one/with you i know i belong
i put the radio on and it's always playing our song

dunno why am i up so early in the morning..
i guess tts its the problems im/we're riddled with..
man.. its just the first day.. and.. there's a ton of problems.. but.. there's only one major problem now.. and by golly.. its the hardest to solve yet.. its like............ a time bomb in a sense.. im sure she'll explode.. haiz.. i noe its kinda like.. not fair at all for her.. but. haiz............ siggghhhhh.............
sometimes.. i still can't believe this is like. happening.. its like.. almst impossible at first.. den.. slowly.. things change.. and.. ta-da.. it is possible.. but well.. its still not supposed to be.. haiz.. more sighhing..
oh well.. i can only hope now that.. well.. it can last.. hopefully.. for another erm... at least 60 more yrs? can it last? will it last??

brain is super locked.. dunno wad to think/say/type.. i'll prob do one good one later at night..

this song is dedied to my jie.. yupps..

Plue One - The Promise

I know that lately
Things have been so hard
And looking out
Through your broken heart
All you can see is dark
And lonely days ahead
But remember jesus said

Chorus
He knows every star in the sky
Every single tear that you cry
His love is here faithful and alive
I know that this world can be cold
In his arms you're never alone
That's his promise to you and i

When hope had disappeared
And you heart aches
You might not recognize
The touch of grace
But on the other side
Of every dying dream
His love is waiting patiently

Chorus

With every angel there's a love
That never leaves your side
His love is deeper than the ocean
Or a mountain high
You've got to know
There's hope in your heart
And if you listen with your heart
I know you'll hear him say
You are my child and i am with you
Each and everyday
He is the one who knows your soul

Chorus

---

this song is dedied to.. you.. haha. u noe who u are.. =)

Eagles - Love Will keep Us Alive

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide

Lost and lonely
Now you've given me the will to survive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive

Don't you worry
Sometimes you've just gotta let it ride
The world is changing
Right before your eyes
Now I've found you
There's no more emptiness inside
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive

I would die for you
Climb the highest mountain
Baby, there's nothing I wouldn't do

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you've given me the will to survive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive
When we're hungry...love will keep us alive

well.. its happening.. hmmM.. all i can say is.. hope things turn out well.. and.. yea.. i dunno.. this time.. there's like.. totally no tact at all.. haiz...

oh well.. gotta gather courage lorh.. and all.. i can't believe im letting myself into it.. but.. oh well.. haha..

i totally ripped this.. like. ripped exactly..copy the src code directly.. copy and paste.. fm jie's old blog..



wounds take time to heal. the misery and the agony is of nothing but of the past.. what's done can never be undone.. the amount of hurt inflicted can never be erased. u're forgiven.. and...... forgotten.

shd i be feeling this way?????? help me!!

---

dunno wad to blog.. so.. just post songs..

Will Young - Leave Right Now

I'm here just like I said
Though its breaking every rule I've ever made
My racing heart is just the same
Why make it strong to break it once again?
And I'd love to say I do
Give everything to you
But I can never now be true
So I say...

I think I'd better leave right now
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now
Feeling weaker and weaker
Somebody better show me how
Before I fall any deeper
I think I'd better leave right now

I'm here so please explain
Why you're opening up a healing wound again
I'm a little more careful
Perhaps it shows
But if I lose the highs, at least I'm spared the lows
Bridge
Now I tremble in your arms
What could be the harm
To feel my spirit calm
So I say..

I wouldn't know how to say
How good it feels seeing you today
I see you've got your smile back
Like you say you're right on track
But you may never know why
Once bitten twice is shy
If I'm proud perhaps I should explain
I couldn't bear to lose you again

Yes I will...

how can u wanna save smthg tt dun exist??
tts the onli Q im asking myself.. how can u save smthg tt dun exist??
u wanna do smthg abt it?? it doesn't exist..
so.. a simple Qn to u.. does it exist??
simple Q.. simple ans --- NO..
so.. tell me.. save WAD frenship??

---

man.. can't believe i skipped soccer again to meet up w jie.. haiz.. tsk tsk tsk.. can't believe it.. at all.. haiz...
life is just getting.. worse in some sense.. better in another..
worse.. meaning.. im knowing stuff i shdn't noe.. thgs tt can.. well.. cause certain thgs tt i dun wanna hpn hpn.. haiz.. dunno larh..
better.. im happier? as in.. for longer periods of time?? haha.. i dunno..

haha.. dang.. got ger ask my number leh.. lolX.. whee... haha.. lolX..here's wad hpned:
morn.. lil sis got dedi service at LSBC.. so went over to LSBC to see the servcice..
den after teh whole thg.. her coy wanted to take pics larh..so my mum.. kinda.. made me take pics..
so was taking... rather.. taking in progress.. when this ger came and like.. u taking pics too? cool..
i was like.. huh?? more blur den nthg.. (as usual) hmmM.. cont taking.. so she kinda like.. asked me to go to the front row w her to take pics larh.. so yea.. went w her to front row to take.. den showed her the pics.. den after tt.. she went like.. nice.. (pics..) send to me.. i was like.. okie.. but how? den she gave me her number.. and asked for my number.. i was like.. err... okkkaaayyyy....... haha.. yupps.. haha...

i still want contacts and oaklys/ray-ban!!!

someone asked me this.. if i cld turn time back.. wld i still do it? like.. jio her still?? and.. wad if history repeats itself.. rite here.. rite now.. with smone else tho.. who's equally.. if not.. closer to me..
my ans.. if i cld turn back time.. i wun do it.. i wld just stay as frens.. but wad the heck.. its over.. and no pt dwelling upon it..
if history repeats itself.. hmmM.. im not gonna say no.. or reject smone w/o a valid reason.. im not tt kinda guy.. hmmM.. guess i'll prob look at the factors.. the impt ones.. most prob.. im willing to give it a go.. no pt letting the past hurt me and affect me now.. and esp if there's a high chance tt the rship might last a long long time..hopfully till the day we die.. lolX.. tts a bit too far off.. but yea.. and/but most impt.. is she the person God has chosen for me?? so i guess i'll cont praying hard.. .and well.. let God work His wonders.. all i can do now is ask Him to open certain doors.. but some im not sure.. if i shd... if it ever shd be opened.. haiz.............. God.. pls work im my life.. work Your wonders in my life.. lemme be a testi to others.. tt Your a God tt loves us.. so much.. tt You've sent Your Son to die on the cross.. to prove Your love for us.. Lord.. You are awesome.. and I stand in awe.. amazed.. at the glory of Your wonderful kindness.. grace.. and mercy..

stupid blog still not done.. haiz..

CUT MY HAIR!! TO ALMOST GI 3 STYLE!! haha.. i like.. totally cannot.. like.. CANNOT believe it!!! HELP!! i mean.. it was a heartbreaking moment sia.. when the guy slowly toorturously cut my hair.. cm by cm.. heart was breaking.. lolX.. oh well.. haha.. nwae.. i lok like shit in glasses w my new hairdo now.. OMG.. somebody gimme some contacts man.. lolX..

hmmM.. aches everywhere.. ytd morn went to cut hair.. den late afternoon went to gym.. omg.. long time since i had a real good workout.. like.. almst 2 mths?? haha.. den soccer.. lolX

today.. morn went meet jie.. see her and her classmates dance.. of all things.. haha.. cool..
den the stupid speech day.. im mr Goh.. haha.. jr's dad.. lolX.. was so frigging bored.. tt i msged shan and nat the whole way.. haha..

life is still shitty.. its onli e pple tt isn't/aint.. =)

"is it just smthg tt will do away w the passing of time?? or will it stay??"

as usual.. feeling smthg im not suppose to be feeling.. shit man.. can i do away with it?? but then.. i dunno.. i gotta keep track of myself..

long day ytd.. (tue) medical in the morn.. was like.. totally shitty lorh.. basket.. but oh well.. managed to lie tt the medical was for my transfer to chelsea and all.. haha.. lolX.. dunno how many pple like.. fell for tt lie.. lolX...

hmmM.. kinda spent ytd after noon w jie.. haha.. went to catch a movie.. den went rnd slacking.. (yea.. was "forced to put up w her whining cos she cldn't find her dolphin.. and moreover.. called me a pig,dog,and wad else?? bully me.. gonna start crying..) dunno.. just in a good mood.. ytd and today..kinda larh.. dunno why.. haha.. haha..=) oh yea.. like.. realised tt jie's darling denYSE ( <---- jie.. i sp correct sia.. must call me clever.. i reallie sound like my lil cuz..) was like.. super cutely small.. haha.. small cute.. small sized.. haha.. =) yupps.. hopefully.. get to see jie in her U tml.. den meeting my darling cuz.. oh well.. nite peeps...

nv tot tt i wld have to make this kinda decisions.. decisions tt either make or break frenship..
i can't take it anymore.. im soo drained.. drained mentally.. emotionally.. physically.. shit.. i can't stand it.. i jsut wanna die.. just die.. to solve all my problems.. to get away fm them.. dying is a painless escape fm the shit im getting.. the pain im recieving.. the hurt im causing myself to have.. if onli there's a better way out than dying or leaving.. but.. there isn't.. and i have no hcoice but to take this decision.. wad do i have?? nth!! i nd help.. wad do i get?? shit.. backstabbers.. honestly.. how many times have i like.. soaked my pillow.. i can't count.. the pain is just to real.. there's just so much tt time cannot erase.. there's nth wrong w crying.. its just tt why am i crying?? why am i letting tears flow down? for wad reason?? good reason?? why?? the feeling im having.. is the same.. as.. u losing a family member.. or smone u treasure or love like.. alot.. tt u wld go thru shit for this person.. oh well.. i'd just try to cope w it.. everyone's looking at me.. staring at me.. its so unnearving.. but i gotta stay strong.. i gotta put up a fight.. i can't lose this battle.. cos if i do.. me alive is no diff fm me dead.. tts all i can say..


red stains just stay..
unable to wash them away..
resorts to scrabbing them..
for they tell a whole new story..
stories tt tell of the pain i feel inside..
heck..
it might just be a glimpse of hurt tt i do feel..
will it ever go away??
as soon as the brokeness in me heals..
i guess tt..
it wun..
till den..
to treat the pain inside me..
the pain outside of me shall be my ruler..
to overpower the pain inside..
till den.....
it stays...........................................

this entry is to jon yang.. and sam tan.. its basically the same as the sun entry tho..

both of u: im like.. super sorry.. SORRY.. i noe i like.. shdve told u two.. abt everything.. haiz.. i just din noe how to tell u.. and i just din want u guys to worry abt nthg.. esp since sam is studying.. and jon is.. well.. slacking ard.. and his gf and all.. i guess tt i din wanna trouble u guys further.. im sorry.. once again.. =( its horrible to think tt if. this kinda stuff can affect our frenship.. and all.. den.. i dun want the thing tt causes it to happen.. i dun want it too.. in the 1st plc.. but.. well.. it hpned.. i guess we just have to move on.. nad i hope jon sam.. both of u will support me.. i noe its prob not the idealest soln now.. but.. thinking thru it.. its hte best soln i have now.. hope u 2 will understand kaes??

just typing this out.. in an instant.. cos its like.. i noe i have loads of explainiong to do to sam and jon.. i guess sam understands.. i dunno abt jon.. will he?

God.. pls.. help me.. i dun wanna lose this frenship.. its to precious for me to lose.. i dun want this to end.. this frenship.. and i'll do everything.. EVERYYTHING i can in my power to keep it.. i may have pissed them off totally.. i pray Lord.. that they will understand the plight im going thru now.. Lord.. You are almighty.. Lord.. thank you Lord..

(changed this entry)

feeling something tt im not supposed to be feeling.. or even thinking about.. shit man.. i dunno.. i really dunno at all.. i can't afford to screw this thg up.. must control myself.. if not.......................................

this is soo not happening.. tell me its not!!...

sam: i apologize for that day.. i totally din noe wad to do kaes?? i mean.. i noe i shdve told u.. but.. i noe u'd explode at me.. and i din want u to worry.. and all..and i tot tt u'll stand by me.. support me.. looks like.. well.. i was soo wrong.. look.. this is not a one day one hour desicion.. its been.. like.. more than 3 mths since i've started thinking abt it.. and its not a very easy desicion okie?? its been.. the first time.. i was just unsure.. testing the waters.. this time.. its real.. okie.. FINE.. i kinda over-reacted kaes?? pls.. i nd ur support.. not to get fucked up down left rite by all of you guys.. look.. i promise you.. after church camp.. i will.. WILL come back.. (jie.. take note) yea.. just lemme be for a while here.. i nd to think thru loads of stuff.. and well.. to get over u-noe-who.. YES.. this failure.. loser kid hasn't kaes?? and come june.. i will.. stay.. even if i haven't.. look.. just gimme ur support.. i nd ur support now.. i noe u're pissed at me.. and all..and prob thinking tt i dun give a damn abt this frenship thingy.. well.. if u think i like doing this.. why dun u take my plc?? stand in my shoes.. look fm my prespective.. pls.. and YES.. i think tt this is the onli best solution for everyone.. at least for HER and me.. if i cld/have a better soln.. i wld have long taken it.. im sorry kaes?? tts all i can say.. sorry..

angel: rgd ur msg.. its not farni.. u think its all jokes and games.. its not.. dun fuck ard.. u think losing a fren is fun.. wait and see.. u might one day lose everyone who's dear to u.. the same way i lost one.. and soon.. more..

i dunno.. why is everything so screwy?? i dunno..

i wun bother u for the rest of ur life.. i wun even say hi.. cos i dun exist in ur life..
im not impt to u at all.. and hence..i shdn't even bother abt u.. prob is..

i do..

i fucking do

but i dun show it.. everyone thinks tt we're over it.. over each other.. well.. im not.. i dunno.. im not... this loser kid hasn't and knowing tt sucks.. feelings like hell.. i'd rather die dan face all this problems.. rather be in coma.. dan think abt them.. and rather be Bush and let the whole world fuck me up down left rite up down.. dan even looking for a soln..
GOOD.. ur happy now.. u've ruined me.. guess ur estatic abt it.. go.. enjoy ur life.. lemme rot.. lemme rot in peace.. die in peace.. smtimes i think tt dying is a better soln.. and i have yet to try it..so many ways to do it.. pills.. jumping down.. alkalines.. cuts.. loads of ways.. burns too.. i cannot take the pain.. hurt.. anymore.. its the intense searing pain in my heart.. the broken heart.. fm her.. fm family.. now.. frens?? pple whom i tot wld support me instd of adding fuel to the fire.. oh well.. looks like.. im on my own. with just the pain.. to carry on..onli Q to ask myself.. how LONG will i survive this pain? will it ever end??"

---

and now.. why is everyone thinking screwy? first.. me and jaime.. den me and HER..(which.. well.. din work out well..) now.. me and portia.. wad the fuck?? being close to smone means we're together? so if im close to a guy fren.. say ujin.. we're gays??no rite?? nv heard tt b4.. cos its not hpning.. w frens of the opp sex.. fuck.. rumours and tots start.. i've heard loads of rumours abt it.. look.. its a church.. not a plc of fucking gossip. so.. everyone.. rather.. just me..cos im always feeling the brunt of it.. aint entitled to having close frens?? esp those fm the opp gender? look.. okie.. i understand.. smtimes its kinda well. hard?? i dunno.. but yea.. suspicious?>? okie.. i wun get mad at u.. cos well.. its alrite.. but if i tell u no No nO NO.. we're not tgh.. den we're not!! okie?? i hate pple whom i've told them tt there's nth btw us.. and still go rnd telling ple tt we're together.. fuck u man.. better not lemme noe who u are. cos i'll fuck u so hard.. u wish u weren't born at all.. im leaving it here.. for now..

tue till today.. its a long week.. many stuff hpned.. did sm stuff w/o REALLY thinking. emp the realile.. cos i did give it second tots.. but.. well.. its crap nwae.. haiz.. WHY?? did.. i even THINK of it?? freak man.. im losing it.. like.. TOTALLY..

hmmM.. well.. just came back fm ij-tp choir presentation.. well.. they're okie.. prob abv avg.. comparable to the sngs one.. and sjc.. (the fight among the ij schs) .. the pri sch one was WOW!! pro man.. them singing is like.. midgits singing.. i mean.. pro migigts.. ahha.. like wow.. think their better dan the sn pri one.. im sure.. haha

yawnz.. working.. last day one mon.. oh well.. get the chance to earn $$.. reallie nd a massive infusion of $$.. haha.. oh well.. guess thats abt it for the week.. sunday dunno going where leh.. NCC or CFCC.. or prob brighton.. or dunno wad harvestor church.. haha.. heard tt the last one is like.. wow.. totally formal.. must wear tie.. dang.. wanna disrput it.. im gonna go in punky.. like.. PuNK-AY.. haha.. see wad the pple say abt me.. haha..

guess tt my tots just cannot be earesed.. so ... i dunno larh.. so i guess its just gonna be.. happy happy happy tots for me.. at least.. try to.. yupps.. "if u can't trace His hand.. trust His heart.." yupps..
last note.. GOd rawks man.. =) jie.. u too

jonan's back.. jin.. take note.. jonan.. if ur reading this.. tag.. and soccer on wed arh.. dun forget.. =)

changed my entry.. cos it wasn't reallie an entry.. its just.. crap..
nawe.. dedi this song to everyone.. esp my jie

Good Charlotte - Hold On

This world, this world is cold
But you don't, you don't have to go
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You're mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare

But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they're way too long
And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)
And you're not sure what you're waiting for
But you don't want to no more
And you're not sure what you're looking for but you don't want to no more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over...

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on


ps.. gonna do up a new template for my blog.. so yea.. look out.. watch this space.. i prob wun do much.. ocs am working now.. but.. soon.. it will be done..

oh yeah........ finally got a refill of blue emotion.. dang.. it kinda wears out fast man... lolX.. oh well.. guess im kinda like.. getting addictied to that smell.. uh huh.. i am...

O-Town - All Or Nothing

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought we'd find you'd realized
Its over, over
It's not the way i choose to live
And something, somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older
You know i'd fight for you
But how can i fight someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you
Now i want the best of you
I don't care if that's not fair

Chorus:
Cause i want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you've reached the bottom
It's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you in memories
I feel it in my heart
But i don't show it, show it
Then there's times you look at me
As though i'm all that you can see
Those times i don't believe its right
I know it, know it
Don't make me promises
Baby you never did know how to keep them well
I've had the rest of you
Now i want the best of you
It's time to show and tell

Cause i want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you've reached the bottom
It's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here
With nothing....

Cause you and i
Could lose it all if you've
Got no more room
No room inside for me in your life

Cause i want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never

Is it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you've reached the bottom
Its now or never

Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here
With nothing at all

Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you've reached the bottom
Its now or never

Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with
Nothing at all

All........

oh well.. everythings lost.. its time to start anew.. yupps.. gotta learn to.. gotta learn.........

exactly 1am in the morning.. hugging my pillow.. smelling of blue emotion... thinking... racking my brain.. to find the right words.. to find the absolute meaning of everything.. of things and people that mean alot to me...

its been 7 mths and 26 days and ard 9 hrs since the the "unfortunate" incident.. i've finally made it clear to myself.. that its finally over.. and that i'm so gonna let go.. and i let her know tt i am... well.. i guess that i shd be proud of myself.. *grins at self* its just the starting point of everything.. of a new life.. a new hope.. and new frens becoz of it.. but the old frens will not be forgotten..
thinking back.. i guess the incident changed me.. i've become more spiritually intune w God.. more sensitive to other pple's feelings.. (kinda.. still nd loads of working.. ) more sure of myself.. in certain ways..
also.. became more materialistic.. which is not gd.. more afraid.. easily emotional.. more protective of what i already have.. cos i dun wanna lose anymore things that mean alot to me.. and in the course of it.. learnt to have a sugar tounge.. lolX...
but most impty..i guess im emerging stronger.. tougher.. and more sure of wad i wanna do.. and im sure that will be a good thing.. and finally.. found the desire of my heart.. to serve Him.. and let His will be done im MY life.. and i will not let anything stand in the way..

it started at a camp.. it ends with a camp.. that's all....................

am i proud of myself?? i dunno.. it comes with a heavy price.. which i guess.. i shd pay.. for the way i acted then..
well.. been asking myself.. and elders.. well.. i guess that i've done the right thing.. at least.. i've tried.. cos i think this is the right thing.. so i guess.. well.. im happy in a way.. a burden has been lifted off my shoulders. however.. another one is put back on my back.. causing me to slouch again.. with the pain of letting go of the past.. well.. i presume that life is never one tt u can walk w/o a burden.. well.. all i can do is just...... let go... and yea.. thats about it....

will it happen again??

probably.. this kinda stuff is life.. and learnt fm really hard and painful expirence... this kinda stuff shd remain as happy memories.. esp if things dun turn out well.. its supposed to be a lesson learnt everytime it happens..well.. i learnt it the realie hard way.. i guess it prob will... but i trust the Boss up there.. i know there's a reason why things are happening.. why we have to feel pain.. and hurt.. and be weak.. to lose hope.. cos... God will not work in the rich and the powerful.. but instd.. thru those who are weak and poor.. and thru them that the Lord shows His awesomeness.. and the power of His name.. that the powerful will not say that they did it.. but the weak will say tt God has done it.. not me.. and hence.. displays His magnificant power to everyone.. (pastor to be?? nah.. ) yup.. i can assure you that God worked thru me.. have felt the HS moving in me.. many times.. i was weak.. and God made me strong.. and unfortunately.. i live to die another day....................

i've finally done it.. deleted my inbox of all my msgs..(inclding hers) i can't believe i just did tt.. cldn't bear to do it b4.. finally did it.. was like.. shd i del it?? freak..ah... fuck larh.. just del it larh.. well.. this shows onli one thing.. i'll do nthg to get over her.. how im feeling?? hmM.. ask jon yang to del charlotte's msgs.. and u'll noe how im feeling........... but im kinda proud of myself tho.. heehee...

i dunno. these few days i just dun have the ling gan to write proper entries.. so i guess i'll just post lyrics to say/show wad im feeling.. yea.. oh yea.. im working on a new blog template.. stay tuned..
ps.. thks guys for ytd.. tho its kinda crappy.. cos bao yah din go.. but.. oh well. turn out okay nwae.. =)

Faith Hill - There You'll Be

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

[CHORUS:]
In my dreams
I'll always see your soul
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

[Repeat chorus]

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always