It has been almost 2 weeks after my scoliosis correction operation. The day after the operation was so terrible that i wondered how did i survive through the 5 days i was in the hospital. The first few hours after the operation was a torture to my stomach. Although i was put on drip, i could feel the emptiness of my little stomach. The doctor only allowed me to take in fluid such as clear soup for dinner only. No Milo allowed. Hence, besides bearing the pain from the wound, i was tormented with no food intake. The morphine was useful in the beginning but the side effects were rather strong to begin with. In the middle of the night, i started to feel the itch and nausea effect from the morphine. i was determined not to use morphine anymore the following day but the pain was unbearable at times, i give myself another 4 doses. By the third day, i just told them to remove the morphine, i can manage the pain level now. My pain tolerance was of a certain level though. Kinda surprise myself. Nothing beats the soreness of the muscle and the stiffness of the metal rods in me.

I was as white as a whitepaper i presumed. Everyone who visited me commented that i looked very pale. When i was asked to sit up, that was terrible, my body was just sending signals to my brain that the metals were too heavy for me to take. During the first attempt, i failed. Immediately, my head was spinning very badly. After half an hour rest, then i managed to sit up in a chair for 45 minutes. The 45 minutes were my maximum. sort of forced myself to sustain. The little white pill was my savior the following day. i wanted so much to bathe so i forced myself to sit up and get out of bed. But i kept vomiting once i was sitting up. An anti vomit pill just did the trick and stopped all my nauseousness. I could even walk right after i bathed. Luckily, mr hee came in time to resolve my problem. 

Now i am recovering at home., limiting myself not to sit for 45 minutes ...

We are in the counting down stage for my upcoming operation. As the days passed by, there is this growing fear in me. i had doubts over my decision to go ahead with the operations. i could not help but pondered at the back of my mind over and over again, questioned my decision at all times. Others do give me assurance that the decision is correct and it will not be wrong. How can i convinced myself that this is the way to go? 

Having the two rods and many screws be part of my body system, does have its disadvantages? All the streaking artefacts reducing the diagnostic values of the scans i might be doing when i gets older. Sigh. It's going to be alright. 

i am always against going through the surgery for the correction of my spine curvature. Guess i dun have much choice now since the condition has worsen over my years working as radiographer. Yes, it is rather unfair to put the blame on the job nature as along the way, i must admit my age is catching up, there are also mechanical wear and tears such as degenerative conditions subjected to aging.

Sometimes, i do wonder why i was accepted to this job when i have a such condition. No one expected that my condition would deteriorate over the years. To all out there, if you have scoliosis, please choose your career carefully. Even if the condition is well maintained, dun ever take the risk as we do not know what is installed for us. Actually, for many health care workers, we often end up with lots of spine degenerative conditions. These are the things behind the scene which many of the patients do not see. They dun see the part that due to us compromise our postures and our care for them, we have subjected out body to many wear and tears. Many of us ended up with lower back pain due to constant lifting and shifting of patients. Like i say, patients will not understand what we went through and why we always try to ask them to move themselves or assist us in any way to reduce stress to our body. Of course, to patients, being transferred by us will be a more comfortable way. i do understand, you are the one suffering. Shouldn't we help one another. This world is not just about you alone. If we are down, who is going to carry out the scans for the patients.

In a way, it was heart warming to hear some of the patients saying sorry to us. Although they could not help us much, however, the acknowledgment that at least our effort are being appreciated. They do understand the tedious tasks we went through in order to provide the services for the patients. 

Anyway, back to my surgery. i have decided to go under the knife to prevent any worsen condition. Now, i just hope that the surgery will not bring much hindrance in my later life. The things to do now are to get my health back on track and try to more exercise so that i would have a speedy recovery later. Hope i will not be out for long. 

it has been a while since i updated the blog. ha ha ... 

i was in my own little world for the longest time. My world just revolved round my work. The friends i met daily are from my workplace and workplace is coming my second home. This has become really bad in a sense that i begun to lost connection to the outside world. So here am i, trying to reconnect with the world outside my job. 

Time to let myself out for a breather.