Life

Is anyone even visiting this page anymore? 

(I do not want to delete because of memories)

Pretty much feeling as low as I can get right now... Nah, not feeling emotional. Having some future thoughts to myself now and feeling a little afraid of what will happen... No one knows. As I type this, this song above is playing non-stop on my laptop. Brings back memories, which is a lot of memories. I shouldn't say I am not happy right now, I am actually pleased with what's going on with life. I'm probably worrying things alittle too much like I always do, well what's new? 

I am reaching my adulthood very soon as big 2 is in the coming year. I can't wait for everything to fall in place to the way I want though... But it may not actually be.. that way? I'm always feeling and thinking in a negative way, probably due to past experiences? I may have changed, a little bit or maybe a lot, but it definitely got better.

I hope I can feel better waking up tomorrow.

Future

Days when I start blogging again, will be days when I'm lonely. This time it totally shocks my life and I'm officially broken down. Never knew who will be reading this again, but just wanna say "I'm not okay." No idea how long I'll take to recover from this breakdown but I'll try.. Experienced it before and totally know how it will feel. I can... I can make it. I hope. Meanwhile, I guess I'll just do some self-reflection and start talking to myself.

Hi it's been long I re-appear here again. I guess no one bother to read this blog anymore.

I was reading through my archives.............. I was kinda, shocked. Never knew I was such a weak person. To think I could blog so much about my unhappiness down in this cyber diary and let everyone else read and judge. I feel so dumb. Right now I'm blogging here again.

It's been so long.. I think I have grown. Not in a sacarstic way but I'm talking about my mindset and feelings. Just wanna pen down and say that I've been going through a tough and tiring period of my life. I'm so stressed out. I may look happy and cheerful at times, but no one knows how I feel on the inside.. Everyone told me this period of my life should be the best part of my life because there're no worries to bother about. But I doubt so? I am so worried and stressed and tensed up and alot alot alot of adjectives which I do not know what to use to describe how I feel.. I feel that I'm gonna break down anytime soon. I am so tired... This is not an emotional post. I am just pouring out. I guess afterall this is still my place to pour out everything whenever I've so many things bottled up in my heart. I'll consider to blog properly again? That's all for now -