I wonder if you've ever had the experience where someone points out a character flaw that you're either not aware of, or thought you had taken care of or were at least hiding? One was recently quite painfully pointed out to me but I suppose it is one that we all suffer with it in someway or another, so it will be no surprise to hear me mention it, but we are talking about lack of confidence or insecurity. Now I think we all know that we all struggle a bit with this, but most of us have found ways around it or at least not putting it front and centre. Therefore it is a bit disconcerting when someone discovers it in us and then points it out to us. Heaven forbid I appear less than perfect and totally confident at all times :) but seriously it is good to take a closer look to make sure the enemy isn't getting in and telling us lies.
In this particular circumstance, a growing lack of trust probably triggered it. However, if we just put it down to trust it would be to easy to blame them, which conveniently lets me off. So while exploring this concept of trust, an image kept coming to mind of me standing naked and exposed in the presence of a large grey fortress. And I wonder if all of us feel that way in at least one of our relationships right now? Maybe it's that friend we've been close to forever but now feels like no one is home, or the teenager who just won't let you in, or someone new that you'd just like to get to know better? If we are honest, there is always some one in our life with which we want greater trust, great intimacy, and greater love.
I think for most of us, we go about our lives, either in the village, the city or whatever and in the course of life we come across a fortress. We know, either from what we've heard or the large windows, that we'd like entrance. Fundamentally, we know fortresses are good, places of security, safety, warmth and hospitality, so it is quite logical to want in, either because we are passing through or looking for a permanent home. So like any person we present ourselves, confident that we will gain entrance because we have no reason to believe otherwise. Yet we begin to have trouble getting in, so we present ourselves again, making known who we are, exposing ourselves and again confident that who we are is enough.
Unfortunately, this is where it can get a bit tricky, especially as the fortress holds firm. We forget that we were just passing by, that there are other places, villages, and cities that would welcome us in. We forget that while the fortress offers the comfort and security of a better relationship that there are other places and that there is a mighty and loving God ruling over all. And this is where it starts to go wrong. Maybe we use flattery to woo that friend back, or maybe its gifts to get that teenager to open up or maybe we write them off because we are tired of trying, meanwhile the fortress grows larger and larger and we become smaller and smaller. Our world becomes consumed with gaining entrance, seeking their approval, having that right relationship, and eventually all else can be lost, while the fortress looms over us, hiding us from the view of brilliant sun, rolling fields, signposts for other places and our loving Father.
Now I know I've painted quite a picture but this is just one aspect to our understanding of the fear of man. My professor Ed Welch has written a book on this called 'When People are Big and God is Small' and it deals with this very issue of making people big while losing our eternal perspective. So yes, there may have been a lack of trust in this particular situation but a godly response from me would have been greater trust in God while continually placing this fortress in a eternal perspective.
Fortresses are still worth gaining entrance but like all things we must be careful not to inflate them, instead we must seek to elevate Christ.
