Already?????!!!!

Jesus, where do I begin. Tomorrow at 5:48 a.m. my son will turn 3. Where did the time go.
I was sleeping on the couch May 11, 2003 3:30 a.m. I got up to get a drink and go to the bathroom because that was basically all I did. I lied back down to try to go back to sleep and my water broke. I woke my husband who had unselfishly been spending the last two months draping his 6+ foot frame on our little love seat because I couldn't sleep in the bed and had to sleep on the couch.

a couple days before Jesse's birth


















He jumped up and said, "remain calm." Too funny! What? I was totally calm that was until I noticed all the maconium that was (squeamish folks - I am Sorry) pouring out. The weirdest thing; it looked like sea weed. Well really gelatinous sea weed anyway.

Because my son was breech he was scheduled to be vacated from his warm, cozy home on the 13th, so this was really scary for me. I know that maconium means that the baby has gone to the bathroom and I also know that if they are to aspirate this crap it can be deadly.

The hospital is 45 minutes away and I just wanted to get there to hear the baby's heartbeat. My husband called the doc and handed me the phone. The doc asked if I was sure that it was meconium. I said "hell yes". Long story short....My husband who thinks on his feet calmed me down by saying that the baby was upside down which means that the meconium was no where near his face and that his bottom being so close to well..er. my bottom that was why I was seeing SO much of this tarry black crap.

When I was finally hooked up and could hear Jesse's heartbeat I was so much calmer. I was rushed into OR as an emergency cesarean. I was not part of Jesse's birth at all which really bothered me later on. The meds knocked me out. I have very little recollection of any of his birth. "Maria we are 5 minutes away from the baby. Maria we are 2 minutes away from the baby." I heard my husband say "Oh my God" twice. Then my son cried. The chair next to me where my husband was sitting is empty. Then my husband is holding a little bundle in his arms. I am being wheeled down the hall hearing "Happy Mother's Day" from the nurses as they place a plant in my arms (I still have it and it is so big). Then my husband comes in my room, it is 12: 30. He has already called everyone and he is asking me if I saw "HIM" yet? Finally you hear that cart coming down the hallway and a nurse says "someone is here to see you." I looked at him and he was so beautiful with so much hair. I say, "Hello Jesse, I am your Mommy." All I kept thinking as I unwrapped him was "I have a son. He's beautiful and perfect and he's mine."



He came out looking like a 2 month old
















There is nothing like those first few days in the hospital. It is like you are on your own little island. There is a total lovefest with you, your husband and this precious, brand new baby who has not a flaw on them, everything and anything is possible. Your life is different and you just want to be a better person because you are so in love. I loved everyone and everything when my son was born! I remember everytime I heard that cart coming down the hall every two hours for me to feed him I would sit up and say "my prince is here."

Here we are 3 years later and he is STILL my Prince. I can't believe that tomorrow my baby boy is turning 3.

More about my heart on legs tomorrow.