I love to see .. far more important now

I didn't know to describe with words, life can be tough, sometimes it can be wonderful. I started to recall my memories back from the past. Even humans beings change his or her own ways, I seen someone came from being poor during childhood then he married to someone who is and short form to say well do family (not rich or poor). He is began to feeling being proud, got married to woman that well verse educated, career minded and comes from a well known family. Forgotten his right after got married, a power being king of the family and poor wife have to support and feeds her own family. all this moments, her hubby's family thought that " oh my my son is doing well, well not to forget all these comes from his wife support. Her hubby just don't care. he didn't respect his wife families members, even her dad is also support to care of their kids. yes no respect and not even to say a "hi! Dad, how are you?" NOT ALL

just don't know how long she can stand or coping her man so called "man in her life" and all her respects of him is fading away and losing it each time. just wait how long she can maintain to wait and see. a lesson to learn.

I am gald that I have my families, both emak and abah are taking good care of me and my children, even i was ever down with zero cents. Taking of my kids, they love u both and I do love my children. Nobody can replace their kindness and appericated a lot. My sis and brother, the one I am close with is my sister who used to take care of me when emak and abah separated.

To my sister, u used be half mother of my life to take care of me, washed my clothes and support with love plus you never stop being protective towards me with anything. eventhough, we used to fight and ever never talked for more than 3 years. again, I am admitted and sorry. I don't want any conflict between us again. I love you a lot.

to my brother, I love u alot. even u are being emak's only son and love. Don't forget to look after her and she loves and care you a lots. you have lovely wife and she's same age as me.

my children, Nabil Qusyairi, Ilham Shawqi, Nur Alyssa Qaizara and Arfan Shafiq. I love you all. And I hope all of you can to read this blog when u are older and mature enough to understand of mummy's life.

All i have to pen down my life in 2009, I hope better each day, each hours, to be happy, smiles even your hearts is aching. Life must move on, I can't set back and look behind. Sometimes bad things comes with a reason and I have to accept to learn. I am looking forward 2010, I will be 32 then.

Random

Wow, It has been a while that I didn't pen down about me, myself and my life. Amazing, I must say I could read my old blogs that reminds me about my sweet memories with my family. Such a blessing till today I've been doing well, sadness sides. Let me tell you about 7 years 7 months that I have been married with my husband.

Being married such wonderful time that you are attached with someone that you love so much. till you might be forget to love about yourself. Love is blind. I have been hearing from my close friends that marriage life is not going be like a bed of roses and Fairy tales ending part with happily ever after.

Well, I married with malay man. I would think at that time he ables to support me and the kids with happiness, secure, with money and being kind to respect everybody. After 1 yrs, I could able to see his true colours, his family, his characters. I assume that characters of a person very hard or rare to change immediately. It will takes a while. I was being mental abuse by him and my lovely children for 7 years ago. Just imagine my 2 boys being scolding by him almost every day, every time whenever they are fighting, quarral about somethings etc: toys, books.. This man will come and bent both of them. As a mother I felt their pain. Just imagine I carried them for 9mths 10 days, given birth normal delivery to them. come here, someone can do without thinking twice, thrice.

About our marriage, stay one all because my children. I did remind to give me " nafkah" yes, I have been support him by money.. I did gone bonker at time, there was a time I left with $1 for lunch and end up I did perform fasting. None cares about me as long my children do have enough foods to eat. It's ok for me to being starving. name it from clothes, foods, milks are comes from my money if he don't have spare money to buy them. 90% are under my accounts. To me, it's ok because my thinking that he's my hubby.. it's orites we help each other.

how long I can stand like this.. oh well, like I said stay with this marriage because of my children. They need a daddy, I don't need him at all. I can be independant, just a title being married woman. No self respect from hubby at all. He don't cares about me. Where is my rights being wife to him. Numbers of times, I did advice hime about money, nakfah.. yess he stormed at me every single things I asked him. long I can be strong wonder woman. No way, yes I have decided

Last week, I mgt to talk to him in calm way. we both agreed to go counselling and end of our marraige that is my final requested, he refused to separation with me. I have no heart towards him and imagine 7 years 7 months suffered. Now I'm piling with debts, it's all because for HIM.. darm it. who can help me, I don't think he will.

I'm waiting for the day back being singlehood, not belive in marriage .. of course I have been thinking about our children more and more.. not 1 child but 4 children. I hope Allah can give me guidance, moral supports, is going to be tough.. I must say. Hope he can change not for me, for himself.

now he's trying to be good to me. Well, he should be changed a way back 7 years ago, not now. too late to reverse.

Another part 2

Arfan Shafiq met mummy ex collgs

Arrived Arfan Shafiq

He born on 07 June 2007 at 11.47pm East Shore Hospital.
His weight 3.280kg & height at 51cm.


More pics click here