What is with us?

Myself and other people have posted an article from KSL.com about mean mothers raising mean girls. The article is here. She talks about how if you are a mean mother your daughter will learn that and become a mean girl. (there's more to it than that)

A friend of mine also posted the article but said, "Everyone is posting this and all I can think is "shouldn't we be teaching our boys this too?! Why the gender disparity?" 

Seriously?!? What is with our society that we can't read a story and let it apply to our lives even if we're not the same gender? The women shared her experience from the mother/daughter point of view because she experienced it that way. Doesn't mean a father can't read it and apply it to himself and his son or a father to daughter or aunt to nephew or whatever the adult to child relationship is. Is our society so P.C. now that we can't share our experience exactly the way it happened? Do we have to start teaching our children, "Human 1 was at the location where items of health and unhealthy nutrition can be purchased with human 2. Human 1 saw human 3 that human 1 had not been physical or electronically associated with since they were both at the educational facility for humans ages 15-18..." Where's the imagination? Where's the foretelling that helps bring lessons of the situation into your own life? There's gender disparity if you make it that way. If you think that if a women shares an experience then a man can't learn from it, you've created the gender disparity, not the writer.

Someone else had pointed out that it's because the mother is constantly under attack. That mothers are always blamed for their children misbehaving and having the stress of trying to be a Pinterest mother, etc. OR maybe it's because women are the only ones talking. Women are not under attack. Women are the ones talking about their experiences. Their hard times. Their feelings of inadequacy. Sharing their advice or experiences. It's not society attacking them. Men probably feel the same way as women, they just aren't sharing it as often as women are through social media. Or maybe they are, and it's not spreading as fast. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." You take from it what you want. 

7 Years...No Itch!

On Sunday, June 30 it was Hutch and I's 7 year wedding anniversary. Since it was on a Sunday this year we celebrated Friday/Saturday. My mom watches Agent P on Friday's so she just kept him that evening. She also had my sister's kids so it was a grandkid sleep over party. (with very little sleep)

Hutch and I went to the 4 p.m. session at the Salt Lake Temple. That's where we were married so we like to go there around our anniversary. After the session was over we had some time until our dinner reservation so we walked through both visitors centers (nice and air conditioned) and walk around temple square (not air conditioned).

Here is a picture I took with my phone. I got cut out of it a bit, but that's ok. We look happy. Of course we look happy, we're on our way to dinner at The Roof. I can get 20% off gift cards to The Roof around Christmas time through my job so I bought a gift card around Christmas for our anniversary in June. Yup, I was thinking ahead. It was really good!! We had a table next to the window looking over the temple. We of course ate more then we should have. :)

After dinner we went home. We saved money by not staying at a hotel but staying home. I had picked up some cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory and some chocolate dipped strawberries from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. I also checked out the movie "The Seven Year Itch" from the library (since we were celebrating 7 years). We had fun munching on goodies and watching the movie. (cheesecake waited until the next day because we were full from dinner).

The next morning we went to The Original Pancake House for breakfast. Hutch ordered Bacon Pancakes and I ordered Eggs Benedict (I always order that - soooo good!!)

The before and after pics of our breakfast. Yes, I'm one of those people who takes pictures of my food. I didn't get a pic of my breakfast because I was too busy eating it.

After breakfast we picked up Agent P from my parents house. We were going to take him to the Zoo but with the temperature getting up to 103 degrees, we decided against it. Instead, we went to the movies and saw Monsters University. It was really cute and Agent P really liked it and Aunt Tifany came with use too. On our way home, he fell asleep. He partied too much at grandmas.

We spend the rest of day playing at home where the swamp cooler ran on high all day. It was a fun anniversary. Hutch, I love you more and more each day!!!

Cheerios

How do you eat your Cheerios? Agent P uses chopsticks! We went to a Chinese restaurant for Hutch's mothers birthday. Agent P wasn't interested in eating anything there. I happen to have a bag of Cheerios with me (like most mom's) so he ate those. He preferred to use chopsticks to eat them. It was cute!

Zoo AGAIN!!

For our family we have a Zoo pass. We love it!! After going about 3 or 4 times it has paid for itself and we can go anytime through the whole year. We go a lot. Agent P loves it!! This past Saturday Hutch was helping his sister move to her new place. It was just Agent P and I and the weather was great so I thought, let's go to the Zoo! Once I mentioned it to Agent P he was up and getting his shoes. They have their Lego display going on now. They have different animals created out of Legos. The first picture is of a Gorilla that you put your face into and the whole picture is made out of Legos. We also have our Measure Up photo that we take each time we go. The picture of Agent P standing on a rock and standing in front of a sign are photos he wanted me to take of him. He got into position and said, "Picture! Cheese!" How can you not take a picture after that request? Agent P LOVES Giraffes. Since he was soooo good, and because I like to spoil my little guy and because there was a Memorial Day sale, I bought him a toy giraffe. He wanted me to take a picture of his giraffe when we were leaving the Zoo. He set it down and walked away. I had to talk him into being in the picture. Silly boy!! Next time you're at the Zoo, keep an eye out for us, we just might be there.

On a side note, Agent P wasn't too happy at first about riding the Panda on the Carousel. He wanted to ride on the Giraffe but another kid got to it first. He got over it fast and had a lot of fun.

Day-Care Program

Since it's the end of the school year, Agent P's day-care had a graduation and program for the 5 year olds going into Kindergarten. Each age group performed a number. Agent P's group was first since they are the youngest. They performed a song called "Hold Still". They are supposed to hold still when the song says so then wiggle when it says to wiggle. It was adorable. Here it is:

That is his teacher that comes over to help the girl that is crying. I love that Agent P stops and watches her to make sure she's ok then goes back to dancing. I also love that at the end, he's the last one to leave the stage. He gets that from me. :)

After the program and graduation they had some activities in the parking lot. They had snow cones, popcorn, a clown making balloons, a blow up jump house and a really big blow up slide. Agent P loved that!! He went on it three times. He cried while we waiting in line because he didn't like waiting his turn. (it was also past his bedtime).

There was a nice older girl who helped Agent P on the blow-up slide the first time. After that he was fine doing it himself. Everyone was surprised that he could do it himself and wasn't afraid. My son is fearless. :)

All ready for the program. I got him to stop running around long enough to take a nice picture.

Agent P with his teacher, Miss. Kenzie. She's is awesome!!! He really like his teacher.

We got a picture with the graduation dog balloon before we left. His eyes are closed because he was ready to take off and go on the slide again. It was the only pic I got where he was standing still (for a second).

It was a really fun and entertaining evening. I'm so proud of Agent P and all he has learned and accomplished over the past few months. This daycare/preschool is awesome! They have great teachers who love the kids a lot!!

Advice on Agressive Kid

My dear blog readers, I need some advice; from all three of you. :) We have new neighbors. They have two kids. A son that is 8 and a daughter that is 6. The daughter is really nice and quiet. The son, on the other hand, is...aggressive. They have only come over to play at our house twice to play with my niece and nephew when they were visiting.

The first time when they came over, I found out later that the son was mean to my nephew. (I don't know details of that, I talked to my nephew and he said he's fine that he ignored him - my niece told me he was mean). Agent P has a horse punching bag that his cousin gave him for Christmas. It's a 2 year old punching bag so it's for small kids to punch and kick. At this same visit, the neighbors son was inside my house with the niece and nephew and started to punch and kick the punching bag really hard. It got so violent I had to tell him to stop that the toy was for little kids. A bit later I looked at the bag because it was deflating and there was a hole. He hit/kicked it so hard that he popped a hole in Agent P's toy. (Agent P doesn't know yet, we hide it and I hope to find a patch kit that will work).

The 2nd time he came over to play with my niece and nephew he was giving me attitude about not letting my niece and him play in the front  yard. There were no adults to play in the front yard, I explained, so they needed to play in the back. Then my niece started following his example and gave me attitude about it (which she hasn't before). Later he came in to get a cookie (we had treats and Hutch told him he could come in and get one). I received a bouquet from Hutch and Agent P for Mother's day that had a balloon with it. He walks by, pulls down my balloon, and punches it as hard as he can. My friend Jessie happened to be there and yelled at him for it and told him to apologize. He gave a half-hearted sorry.

We have a small airplane swing on our tree in the front yard that is made for little kids. When he came over the first time, he would make a running head start and jump on the swing and bang it around. I had to tell him to stop, that the swing is for little kids. He pushed his sister in the swing and kept trying to push her hard enough to hit the trunk of the tree. (he never did, the swing is far enough away that I don't think it's possible).

What do I do about this kid? He only comes over when my niece and nephews come over which isn't extremely often. Do I wait to see if something happens next time? Do I talk to his parents? Do I just not worry about it? What is your advice.

Like I said above, they are new neighbors. I don't want to alienate or offend them so soon after moving in but I don't like how aggressive their son is to our stuff and property. Not a great example that I want Agent P to see or for my niece and nephew to be around. Right now I'm just thinking of waiting and seeing if it continues the next time my niece and nephews visit. Is that smart? Any advice?

You're NOT Worthless

The past day or so the news have talked about Elizabeth Smart  and a speech she gave at Johns Hopkins at their Human Trafficking Forum. If you really want to know what she said here is the speech.

A friend of mine commented on her speech on Facebook and I really liked what he had to say. He said, "She talked about how a rape victim feels diminished and worthless. She mentioned how she felt what was most valuable to her had been taken. She also noted something one of her junior high instructors taught (during a discussion of abstinence), that someone who had sex before marriage was like a "chewed piece of gum" that no one would ever want to chew again. How sad that she was taught a pernicious lie like that! There are those with a very distorted concept of how God views His children. Teachers have such a weight of responsibility to ensure they are not teaching falsehoods to impressionable young minds. The media is tying this dangerous concept to the teaching of abstinence, which is unfortunate--the two are NOT joined at the hip. When abstinence is taught properly and in conjunction with the principle of repentance and Christ's atonement it builds and enhances the individual's self-worth, not diminishes it. Those who teach the "chewed gum" or "pull the nail from the board but the hole remains" lies would somehow limit the Savior's ability to cleanse and eagerness to forgive. No one, whether a victim of rape, or one who merely succumbs to temptation, should ever feel worthless, or that they cannot be cleansed, healed and forgiven. Our Savior took care of all that. I should have also added that at least twice during her speech she noted that she felt a deep reassurance that her parents would still love and accept her with no regard for the sexual abuse. The main thrust of her speech was to promote early education that empowers children at a very young age to fight back against predators, and to be very aware of potentially hazardous situations. She also made it VERY clear that asking "why didn't you run away or cry out for help" is not an appropriate question to ask a victim of abuse or abduction."

I agree with him. One thing that has bothered me is some media outlets are saying the "chewed gum" analogy was from her LDS teachings. I really hope that no one was ever taught that. When I was in Young Womens I was never taught that I was worthless if I broke a commandment and especially if ever I was victimized. I'm so sad if anyone was taught that. Please know that you are special, loved and of great worth, no matter what is going on in your life. 

I truly feel that we need to teach our children more about sex. I personally feel that abstinence is the first thing to teach my children about sex before marriage. I also feel that they should know about sex. If they make the decision to have sex before marriage they need to know how to protect themselves. I can't force my children to live the way I want them to. I can teach them all I can and all I know and hope they make the best decision. I would especially want to teach them that if they do have sex before marriage they are not worthless. They are still loved. Children especially need to be taught how to protect themselves. Teach them that they need to fight back. That no matter what happens to them, they are of value and they are important.

Here's another speech Elizabeth Smart gave that gives some instruction and tools to protect your children.