"This was never my world,
You took the angel away.
I kill to make everybody pay."
After all Ive nurtured,
I still,
hate myself.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Monday, July 21, 2014
I fell in love with the intensity in her music, and her eyes..
Such freedom in expression.
Rather than being tied to the technical limitations of our instruments.
Such freedom..
I want such freedom to express.
"Today im dirty,
And i want to be pretty.
Tomorrow, I know that im just dirt
We are the nobodies
Wanna be somebodies.
When were dead
They will know just who we are."
Marilyn Manson - The Nobodies
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
different shades of the same
I used to think love was just a perception.
That it was just a kind of chemistry.
That love was something to do with your
hormones.
I used to think love was an explainable force.
That love was just pure science, an equation, and that you could make love happen by choice if you align all variables.
I used to think love was replaceable.
That it was just a matter of choice.
That you could switch it on and off by command.
That is doesnt matter who your with, the feeling, the cycle, the thoughts that come, will be all the same.
That 1+1=1. And that would be just me.
That there was no such thing as magic.
Would this be different? Or am I just as usual, living in the spur of a moment..
That it was just a kind of chemistry.
That love was something to do with your
hormones.
I used to think love was an explainable force.
That love was just pure science, an equation, and that you could make love happen by choice if you align all variables.
I used to think love was replaceable.
That it was just a matter of choice.
That you could switch it on and off by command.
That is doesnt matter who your with, the feeling, the cycle, the thoughts that come, will be all the same.
That 1+1=1. And that would be just me.
That there was no such thing as magic.
Would this be different? Or am I just as usual, living in the spur of a moment..
Wednesday, July 09, 2014
Anti-cholinergic
Looking back, I might not have grown up much at all.
Except by being plagued with more practical worries and realization that the reality doesnt seem as fulfilling and idealistic as it seems. Jaded pretty much more than the past.
The only comforting thought was that, I did managed to get away from my past of an even more disorganized living than the current state. Although right now wasnt to expectations of society, but, still manageable and bearable.
How long can I sustain this? Not really sure.
How long can I go on being like this? Not really sure too.
Funny how I asked myself the same question way back then, years ago.
Looks like im regressing or..., im still wisdom-less.
______________________
P.S. Funny how Anarex and Atarex sounds the same.
Pretty much the same effects and classification too.
Except by being plagued with more practical worries and realization that the reality doesnt seem as fulfilling and idealistic as it seems. Jaded pretty much more than the past.
The only comforting thought was that, I did managed to get away from my past of an even more disorganized living than the current state. Although right now wasnt to expectations of society, but, still manageable and bearable.
How long can I sustain this? Not really sure.
How long can I go on being like this? Not really sure too.
Funny how I asked myself the same question way back then, years ago.
Looks like im regressing or..., im still wisdom-less.
______________________
P.S. Funny how Anarex and Atarex sounds the same.
Pretty much the same effects and classification too.
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