Theres a myth saying, the one you spend your new year with, on the 12:00am, is the one your gonna spend with the rest of the year.
Guess I be alone.

Not seems to be there. The first feeling. I was wrong mmm. The first feeling will always be remembered. The way you are now, i dont like it.

Santa monica - Savage garden
Mmmkbai.
P.S On the right track? Soon (:

AHH boring christmas, boring new year. Boo hoo.
Three more days. ;_;

.Trepidation.
Laters.

Went out with my Dad, Mom, Granny for a movie today. Curse of the golden flower. The intro was good, climax was ok, ending totally sucks. Just feel happy to see everyone happy. Mom rarely go out. Granny rarely go out with us as a family. I try to be patient with my granny. Try to be a good, filial grand daughter. Mmm. Worth it.

Tryna tell ya something... Couldnt. I miss you. Forget the songs. Maybe we are not meant to be. Disappointed I am but mmmyeh.

Like how that song goes. "So if you still go I'll understand. And if you stay, I'll hold your hand."

Just sad seeing you like this.

-

Down with flu for the whole month, I finally persuaded myself to take medicine.
Sometimes I wonder, am I doing the right thing. Did I hurt anyone in the process. I be the one getting hurt in the end, I promise.

Just concentrate on your studies. Everything, get out? That way, I be bored to tears.

My sis had a great life, what about mine?

Savage garden - Santa monica
Ciao.
P.S Dont feel bad about yourself. Your a good guy. Your handsome, buff and secksi. (: And your interesting. Too charming and it shuts my mouth whenever im with you. Thats why im so quiet. You gotta look positive, think positive. I just feel sad.

Lovin From autumn to Ashes, suddenly.

Im still feeling disappointed, things didnt work out for us. Charactor differences maybe?

Relationship is not all about physical stuffs. Mmm. For me to think about.

Im still with trepidation and apprehension for school.

Will the new year be less boring than christmas?

-

M, 4, V, T, C and H
Might need to provide this number at the gate
Steady pilot because I'm half afraid
I can't believe youd ask me that
Of course I dont believe in fate
Would you be depressed?
If I attend that wedding, but only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret
Sing it loud to drown out the feeling
When you're feeling much more odd (even)
And half as true as dishonored seamen
We'll breathe Pacific and fight our demons
Would you be depressed?
If I attend that wedding, but only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret
So arch your back
And flip your hair
Make eye contact so you know I care
You know I care
But only as a guest
Such an unfaithful bride draped in dress
Spun with threads of my regret

Reinventing the exit - Underoath
Peace.
P.S Still avoiding me.

Thursday 28 DEC 2006
Bad day bad day! I say bad day! Were suppose to be happily tanning in sentosa, enjoying ourselves, but instead its beeen reeeeaaaal disappointing and sooo worst, so wrong.
First off, started the day fine but delay here and there, we reached sentosa about 1pm+. When we reached there, it rained HEAVILY. Couldnt find ANY shelter for our belongings. Hang around at 7-11 for shelter, saw QingLing. LOL We began teading Michelle and QL's bro.
Blah blah blah, rain finally ease.
AND OH YAR FUCKING A! LIMBIN MSG YT SAYIN WOODGROVE HAVE A VACANCY FOR ME. Like ftw, she just had to tell me when I had already enrolled into Si Ling. LIKE FUCK! WOODGROVE IS BETTER THAN SI LING AT EVERY CRITERIA! But nah w.e man, imma stay at Si Ling I guess.

Ok back to the events of the day. Rain eased a little, we left our belongings under a tree, but of course it got wet in the end. We started playing around, rain started again. Was like nah screw that, we continued. Laze around, bored. Decided to go to Siloso beach or however you spell that.

Sat the tram. CLIMAX! PY dropped the ball off the tram. Yelled at the man to stop but he couldnt hear. PY JUMPED OFF THE TRAM LOL! A few skin injuries. Hahaha funny thing is, "She just wanted to suicide."
Went to the First-Aid.

Laze around again, blah blah blah then, was in the sea and I thought Pearlyne and YT wanted to sabotage me, so I eventually drifted further from them. After a moment, I heard someone screamed, "JELLY FISH!"
I turned and looked, saw EVERYONE OFF THE SHORE LOL! I was WHERE WHERE JELLY FISH?! I went to look, like omfg the biggest, longest jelly fish EVUR!

Heard a commotion behind me, Jocelyn was crying and other girls were freaking out. I went to look, Jocelyn and a few others got stung by the jellyfish. Jocelyn couldnt move and stuffs. YT and I ran 528787km to get the lifeguard. I WAS SOO OUT OF BREATHE LOL! They brought her to First-Aid.
YT and I took all the bags and stuffs and stuffs and stuffs. As I entered the First-Aid for the SECOND TIME, I felt this is reeeaaally a bad day. So down on our luck. I was thinking, if I didnt thought that YT was gonna sabotage me, I could have been stung by the jellyfish.

So.. like half of our day was about bad stuffs like that. The most fun i had in Sentosa, its, SHOWER TIME! So much fun at the shower today HAHA!

Went to Vivo, Admiralty, dinner, went home.

Sentosa wasnt fun, the day was fun tho, but its not at Sentosa, its along and thru the journey ._. LOL with YT!

Even I, had injuries. >_>

Net's still bitching.

No trivia - From autumn to ashes
Lates.

Click to enlarge.
Anyone spotted me?!



CRANBERRY JUICE ROX!



Damn the rain =/

What if im really just all about a mask? Who am I?

After years, Linda; pillow; curula, turns out to be a guy. I find that seriously hilarious! AHHHHHHHHHH HAHAHAH *Dies of laughter* I pity Wonton.

My Apocalpse - Escape The Fate
Cookiesandcream.
Ciao.

When to YT hosue yesterday. Talk talk talk, drink drink drink. Mm walked home at 5am+. Reached home, shower, talked on phone, went to sleep. Woke up like 10.45am. Still feeling tipsy but gotta go school buy stuffies. And, ZAIDI YOU DIDNT CALL ME UP! Bluff me again >_>
Came home, so hungry, so tired, head so pain. Got caught in the rain.

I was just sitting here, listening to my music and i was thinking, "ahhh what a fine day, fine weather(raining) to listen to soothy music."
-Tv turns on- *Looks behind* AHHH GRANNY WATCHING TV!

Yesterday, talked to my mom about granny. I told her, "After all that happen, I dont feel bad at all, does that mean i dont have a concience? Am I a bad person? But if I did that to you, Daddie, Di di, or sis, I will feel bad, but to her? I dunno why I dont. =/ Am I a bad person, mom?"
Mmm I love talking to my mom, she always made me realise alot of things.

Chasing cars - Snow patrol
Ineedyourgrace
Laters.

I seriously gotta get out of the house. I will burst if I dont. Take a walk, fresh air, hang out, chill around, w.e man.

Tune in to My Apocalpse - Escape the fate at 2:59
<3 the guitar solo. At least that calms me down now.

I AM bias against my granny. So what? That makes me a bad person, i know. But heck, she just appear and expect everything to be like her home. Like theres no others here. Please, seriously, consider my thoughts. I dont like you okay. I hope you get out of my life.

I meant that. No I didnt meant to say it. Yes I meant it. No I dont. Man w.e
Im bad, im evil, im not a good person. W.e, do judge me. Jerk off man.

Stupid lame 'MERRY' Christmas.

Im just tripping today. >_>

My Apocalypse - Escape the fate
#$%@$%@#.

Friggin pissed with the people around me. Why do everyone I come across take me for a fucking ride and shit. Where have all the sincere people gone to?
Well not exactly everyone. Maybe just one, just one. Or two.
Seriously, its either yes or no. Dont just come and go. Freaking a, what am I? A effin grocery store?

Your no angel - Saosin
Lates.

Take back everything you said.
You never meant a word of it. You never did.

She said "Alright, Alright, slow down!"
Oh no, oh no, we won't.
Cause I regret every thing that I said
To ever make her feel like she was something special,
Or that she ever really mattered.
Or did she ever really matter?

Sorry Yingting. I really thought I sent it.

Was watching Love Actually. Didnt watch from the beginning nor did I reached the end of the show. Was watching halfway thru, I cried! Not because of the show. Was thinking about stuffs. Life's so ironic. Sometimes its not there. Sometimes I felt its just around me. O well i guess i will just log in Audition and forget the world ;] Thats just me.

Sorry again Yingting.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
Hope you spent your Christmas well with your love ones. Love you.

This year's Christmas is the most boring one ever.

Situation - Escape the fate
Mmmyehkay.
P.S But then again, SMILE THRU THE TEARS BABY.

W00t. First few chapters of POA, Ive understood. Didnt thought I could in the first place. Still doing good. And im glad (:
I just hope I can have my computer at my study table. If not, i wont be studying at my study table at all! Thats nothing to keep me sitted there. I need my music, my com in there. LOL AND YES, my mom return my study table back to me. And nop, im studying in front of the compy now. >_> With the distraction from the television.
Not used to be like this, before my granny came, we seldom turn on the teevee. Got no trouble studying or reading in the hall. NOW. Its annoying you know. I WANT MY OWN ROOM. AND WE ARE ALWAYS HAVING A NOISE WAR. Man im soo mean =/ I know i knoww. But I couldnt help it.

I am a rather extreme person. Its either the best or nothing at all.

MY SIS GOT THE w850! Im so so so jealous ;P. I want either the 610i or that one I saw at Bugis and AMK. I forgot what model was it, but its Sony Erricson. Imma bug and bug and bug and bug and bug and bug and bug and bug my dad to buy. =]

Discovering the waterfront - Silverstein
Pretenditsnotforever.
Baiiee.
P.S Remember to get money from Dad.

This is TRISH when shes bored.






Geees im such a dork LOL. CAN YOU SEE THE LIGHT?

W00t Going Compass point with my sis tomorrow. *Prays hard* dont see any familiar faces espically Hougang Plaza's peoples. LOL. Forever in my memory. HP Memories. Gees hard to forget. Whenever spoken of this place. XY and me will be like, *Eyes contact, smile secretly and giggles* HAR HAR HAR. SHIT.

Tell myself goodbye - Dead poetic
Sorrysosorry.
Laters.
P.S Morning. Morning. Bye bye. Baiiiee (:

21 days more to school. AHHH shat. Im dreading the day. The day I dont wish to come!

BASTARD! Made me wait for you again. >_> Like EVERYTIME. And yes im rather pissed. Haaaa. Was talking to him on the phone, KEPT ME ON HOLD. For like a freaking 34252345 mins. Okay shall not exaggerate. Hehehe.

Chatted with Michelle. OMFG Whats with the world and Naruto. And bleach. And all w.e cartoons. CARTOONS I SAY! Haaa ok i know its anime. ;P Still a good friend shes. Shits back then are nothing anymore (:

Spend the whole day at home today. Was tired out by the past few days. BUT I LOVE IT. I love days when Im busy. When im rushing for time. When my schedule is so full. But I havent had a day when im busy every hour YET! ;P

Im excited for my school U. LOL I wonder how will I look in the uni. Id look rather fat. IM GOING TO SCHOOL TO BUY BOOKS AND UNI AT 26TH. ANYONE DOWN? MICHELLE'S DOWN. ANYONE ELSE? Tell me soon (:

Somehow the school makes me feel like a girl's home, boy's home, prison. EVERYTHING'S SO OLD. Everywhere's pai kia. Gees. Even when we arrived there for enrollment, theres a BLACKOUT. Seriously, RENOVATE IT. I was thinking of a scene where Im soo urgent for a leak and I cant find the Ladies. -_- How will my first day of school be like? Will I be having lunch in the toiley? LMAO. Fuckcakes. W.e man just relax (:

I gotta poop now.

The saddest song - The ataris
Irememberwaitingforyoutocomeforyoutogo.

Woke up at 2pm today LOL. Yes I slept loong! But I was sooo worn out. =/

They at YT house gambling again. I dont wanna gooooooo. I HAD FLU SINCE THAT DAY. Never stop. And my flu's still on. Geeeeeeees.

School's starting for me. Iono whether to be excited or to dread that day. Im afraid. Everythings is new to me. Im a stranger to that school.
People that will be thinking. "How the new student looks like?" "Is the new student a girl or a boy?" "Is the new student tall or short? Fat or thin? Pretty or ugly? Geeky or cool? Guai kia or pai kia?" Then I walked into the classroom. "Why is she so quiet?" "She look unfriendly." "Shes so proud, she dont even smile." "She look scare."
I dont wish to be anti-social. Time to break ice. But im scare. Imma make everyone notice me. Could I? I prolly cant even open my mouth.

I looked at the Geography book. I used to had Pure geography. This Elective geography feature all Human geo. I DONT WANT. I love Physical geo. Maybe I should take History instead.
Two unfamiliar subjects. Biology and either Arts/POA or DNT. I havent choose frmo those three sub yet. DNT is out of my list. NO DNT. >_> Either POA or Arts. Mmm. My maths is bad but for Arts I dont have the tatics. I didnt take Arts previously. I had to know EVERYTHING I missed out a year. Like wtf? Cant I take back my subjects? But man, its okay.

I dont even know how to be a student anymore. I think I kinda forgot how to be a student.
LOL I had to ask my friends whether that have schoolbags and school shoes, for I was lazy to get them. NO POWER RANGER SCHOOL BAG PLEASE. Har har har.

The weather is so cold. Im freezing here in front of the com. But I love it (: Always love decemeber.

FLOW 'Thank you' christmas party 23rd Dec @ Gashaus!

I caught fire(In your eyes) - The used
InyoureyesIlostmyplace.
P.S Do you STILL love me? Do you still need me? Do you still want me.

Ahhhh freaking tiring, exhausting, sicky day for me. I havent slept since yesterday and.. TIL NOW! Well firstly, Im sorry I had spoilt the whole 21st outing =/

Called school in the morning. Afternoon went for job interview. YT got the job!
And went to Ajisen ramen eat. CHEATED! Not nice at all =/
Michelle called Si Ling Sec for me. And thanks to her! They accompany me to Si Ling Sec and told XH that we going anymore =/ Sorry girl.

The Indian clerk is RUDE. Hum my brain is kinda retarded now i'll just summarize. Principle interviewed me, I didnt know what to answer cause my brain went blank. I was nervous and worn out. I didnt had sleep remember? So yea BUT suprisingly she accepted me! I WAS SO HAPPY. Well not really happy. The school is old, dirty, creepy, haunted-looking, pai kia all around. Id rather go back to Woodgrove Sec than Si Ling Sec x_x

After that still not going home yet! Went to Woodland center play pool til the night. IM SO TIRED. And NOTE! I had flu for the WHOLE day.

-

Came online, what a suprise. Ehh dont know how I felt either cause all I felt is tireness now.
But thats all? Is that all? Im sorry? Just that? The word 'sorry' dont mean anything to me. Cmon. Just say all you gotta say thats all. You had a girl, you dont love me anymore, you dont want me, this relationship aint working out, you have a good life now, you fell in love with someone new. What else? W.e anything! Its not like I will get all mad.
Is that all? Dont you have anything else to say to me? Anything else except sorry?
Mmm kk imma sleep.

Discovering the waterfront - Silverstein
AFRAIDOFSCHOOLLOL.

So disheartening. Fuchun sec, my only hope?

Screw Limbin. Pissed off.
Effin WGS made me wait until the last minute. TODAY IS THE CLOSING DATE YOU KNOW. Fucking shit. I dont wanna waste any more years.

Seriously I DONT know what to do. I got enough on my mind right now.

The new version of Blogger in beta is dead!
Long live the new version of Blogger!
(P.S. The old version of Blogger is not dead, but it would like to retire for a little while... maybe go to Hawaii or play World of Warcraft all day? It begs you to let it play World of Warcraft all day.)

I read this at the notice. I find this rather funny for no reason.

My mom said, life is a gamble. So so true. So fine. I will gamble today. Ive just sent an email to those schools, hoping they will give me a reply. Or double action, give them all a call. x_x My wish for christmas is to study again. =/

Why did I waited so long to settle this. I should have done it so long ago instead of fighting for useless stuffs over the net.

Lates.

Mmm I feel so hopeless.
Wasnt suppose to sleep just now but I got so fed up and so screw up to my brain.
I dunno how to say, I dunno what to say. Guess I stop here. And yes I cried myself to sleep.

Limbin also so irresponsible. She said to help me. Msg her, didnt reply. Why DONT I need the application form? Where should I go now? What should I do now? I really dont know. Tomorrow is the last day? Screw that.

I feel so helpless now. Guess I'll just turn to god. The only option left. Tomorrow I will just try again. Hope everything turns out just fine. I feel so lost.

Anyways, the treatment is back again. My mom said she could claim. Called for appoinment. Its on January. Man w.e.

Will they give me a chance? No more time left.

Forget it - Breaking benjamin
kkthxfuckyoubai.
P.S I cant see anything now.

Ahh signing in blogger, never been easier. Finally.

Been playing for three days straight! Slept at 8am today and woke up at 11am. COULDNT SLEEP. So much chittery chats, loug banging pots and pans in the living room. Not chittery chats, SCREAMING AND YELLING.
Fine i'll just get OFF bed.

I was suppose to go to school to ask about the enrollment for next year. I guess I got lazy and tired. So i pass. I called the school to ask. Freaking stupid clerk said to call me back again to tell me. STILL NO CALL! I called again. Faggt clerk thinking I was stupid or something. She said, " Im sorry, the pervious clerk that answer your call isnt here now. I will call you back later." What do you think? Im dumb or what? Dont you think I could regconise your voice?! Gees you think you think all clerk in the world have the same freaking 'cute' voice? Man, I KNOW ITS YOU OKAY. So call me back!

YT coming home from camp YAY! Tomorrow is teh 'MINI' gathering for christmas. How mini is a 30+ people gathering? Anyways I dont really wanna watch a movie ._. The only movie I wanna watch now is DEJA VU and not anything else. But I guess I will just go along with it since everyone is down. Unless XY dont wanna watch either, then I and her just chill together and let them go watch ;P

Yesterday, playing Audition, theres this guy I find interesting. After that, he asked for my MSN. AND FUCKING A! Hes like, Trish? YOUR IN MY MSN LIST! I was like FTW?! Whats your name o_o! I cant even remember who he is. After knowing that, I dont find him interesting anymore LMAO.

Anyways, CALL ME MISS CLERK. Dont make me waste another year. Another year gone means EVERYTHING TO ME. Cause I cant go back to high school anymore.

Forget it - Breaking benjamin
CookiejellypeanutbutterjamMmm.

So slice open my veins.
And let, the romance bleed away.

W00t! I got 5x perfect combo in Audition. Gees! (:

Now I know why my mom always run out of her room to scream at me in the middle of the night to tell me to sleep. LOL Today she stated that my laughter at the early dawn is always eerie and scary. She says the sound of laughter is not me at all. Its like im posessed of something. I was like WTH?! I didnt realised it. I always put on my headphones. My dad says, the laughter sounds like crying rather than laughing o_o. Now I know why...

Kamikazee - Narda
Cookiejellypeanutbutterjam.

Talked to someone today. He remind myself about my past, about him.

Why am I here? Why am I staring at the empty screen? Why am I staring at the memories of him? How have I gotten like that?
From kaz3ro to him. From him to nothing.

I just feel so sad. So sad. Sometimes I wanna give up. Can I face the world?

Tanging hiling ko sa'yo
Na tuwing umu-ulan
Maalala mo sanang may
Nagmamahal sa'yo. Ako.

Sabihin mo na - Top suzara
Kthxbai.
P.S I realise I always listens to pinoy songs when im sad ._.

Puso'y nagdurusa nangungulila
Iniisip ka 'pag nag-iisa
Inaalala mga sandali
Nang tayo ay magkapiling
Ikaw ang gabay sa aking tuwina
Ang aking ilaw sa gabing mapanglaw
Tanging ikaw

Makita kung muli

=(

I wish things didnt turn out this way. It could have been better if that didnt happen. Could have! Theres no one to blame for this. And I definately still hate myself.

Still waiting. I have a lil hope from you.

No trivia - From autumn to ashes
Lates.

LOL I remember when taking this picture. "Shssss" LOL





<3

Yesterday, at AMK pool, YT drop her cue down to the second floor LOL So embarassing and that auntie at the counter called her AH BOY HAHAHHAA.

Woke up at 4pm today. Went to meet them. Mmm boring day. Pool, home.

I wish i wish i wish.. Mmmm. ;[

Nah not Lan. Not gon' happen.

Woke up SO early today. Not really early but ITS STILL EARLY FOR ME. Didnt catch a wink that night. Blur blur walked out of the house, walked reaching the bus-stop, turned and walked back home again. Left my wallet at home <_<
WOOT I was first to reach! Muahaha first yo! Had breakfast at CWP. Mmm took a cab to the zoo. LOL YT keep fooling LY about Eragon.

Reached the zoo. Cant find Ah bee, cant go in. After hanging around for 30mins, we finally went in. BUT IT RAINED! So heavily. They were all thinking how to go to that resto to interview, I was looking around, fascinated by the parrot. I was all telling them, SINCE we went in free as visitors, LETS GO HAVE FUN ;D!

Went to the interview first, pay wasnt that good, environment far than what I've expected. So naww i pass.
Sometimes I hate myself for having a short-term memory. -_- Like now. I COULDNT remember most of the things that happenned today. But overall the day was fun. And really funny.

After the zoo, PY went to school, LY YT and me went AMK. Took the bus. Slept 60% of the ride. Well dozed off. Play pool. Eat. Sat 169 home. O.M.G We got surrounded by Indians! Beside me was a FOUR TIMES MY SIZE Indian. Behind my friends are all Indians. Beside, behind, infront all Indians! Looks funny, sounds funny, smells funny, felt funny. Humm yeh. Not being racist BUT its funny really... ... .. its funny. Slept 90% of the ride.

Reached Woodlands. Sat 912. SAW Yiling again. Saw her two or three days ago on 963. Shes still so childish. I guess her thinking never changed much. Still the little girl I known. Seriously, I began to think that shes a retard ._. She once tried to use a chair to hit me in school. Jeez. Talk shit. Cry at little stuffs and shit. Just because she wanted that crayon. Seriously. Tried hitting me with a chair because of a crayon... ... Man.

I dunno if I wanna go out tomorrow. No money. Not a single cent left.

Yay! Kai bought a pressie for me for christmas! And the best thing, its from my favourite store! HOT TOPIC! AWW so nice of her.

Boo out.
P.S Does he remembers me?

Funny day. I havent laughed like this for centuries!

Were suppose to meet up at 2.30pm. I procrastinated. Drag til 3.15pm. Went up the escalator, saw ZhiAn. He looked shocked when he saw me. Ooo the drop out girl. Mmmm went to CWP, lunch. But I didnt eat.

"NI WU RU WO!"
"Bao zha lian, bao zha Lin."
"Fatti"

LOL on the train, YT and I were playing with THAT NECKLACE YT gave me T_T And she was threatening to pull it off my neck. Was like FINNEEE! *Pulls myself* Then she threw the diamond ACCIDENTELY into my cleavage. The three of us was like, *Freeze* 1,2 seconds. *BURST OUT LAUGHING!* And of course I COULDNT DO ANYTHING TO GET IT OUT. Seriously, I could swore I saw four to five people staring at me and smiling so broadly, trying to cover their smile. Jeeeez. "Do you feel cold?"

Ahh, we suggested catching a movie. "Bu yao kan le la bu yao kan le la." LOL we kept irritating each other. "Okay wo men qu kan si, share share." "NO" After playing around, we finally bought the tixs. AHHH MY EIGHT DOLLARS #@$%#$%$ I keep grumbling about it from the Secret Recipe until the cinema.

Watched Eragon. The movie is nice but the story aint exciting enough. Its like mmm a typical old english fantasy movies. War and stuffs. But still nice. The draggie so cute! I STILL WANNA WATCH DEJA VU THO!

Went Paradiz play pool, lost everything! So lame, hurry back to PS and yayyy we had CARL'S JR! OmaLIFE! Effin burger soooo HUGE.

Kk made too much noise in the train. Got a feeling that everyone is irritated by us. They went YT house gamble, I went home. Ahh home sweet home.

Bai.

Jeeez. The moment I wake up, my mom immediately started nagging at me about my capital card. Ask this ask that. Then her pointless ranting starts. Complain about my granny. Complaining complaining! I just woke up! Gees.

Would you look far into the distance and say my name?..
I reminised. I miss. I long for... your return.
What ever happen to you?
Sometimes I wonder, where did that letter go?

Will you ever come across this page?
Will you visit it every once in a while?
What made you so heartless?
Your voice and laughters still rings in my ear.
Your smiles still carved deeply in me.

I miss the life.
I miss the colours of the world,
can anyone tell me where I am?

Could you remind me of a time when we were so alive?

Away from the sun - 3 doors down
Bai.
P.S Good luck in your life. I will take care. For you.

Laser treatment cancelled.
Sentosa tomorrow cancelled.
Mmm wtfack?

Mmm songs do actually affect my thinkings and my way of writing my post.

When a sense of personal identity is in question and anti-social behaviour or even alienation can result.

The critical points in life.
12-18 months old; mistrust
18 months to 3 years; shame and doubt
3-6 years; guilt
6-12 years; inferiority
12-18 years; confusion
19-40 years; isolaion
40-65 years; stagnation
65-death; depression

People who suffer from nutritional deficiency, imbalance on behaviour can actually be found not guilty if he killed a person; insufficient to impair normal brain function and substantially reduce sense of responsiblity.

I was wondering, are most perfectionist pron to depression? Are most people whos suffering from paranoia, tend to be a perfectionist? Mmm just a thought.

Mmm went out with him today. Iono. Why am suddenly so quiet? Doesnt happens with others. Tho when we splited ways, felt a little "she bu de"? Mmm.

Anyone wanna tell me whats the proper english word for "she bu de"? -_-!

People are tend to be afraid of stuffs that they lack of information or knowledge of.

From Pearlyne's blog.
"Day was good yesterday. talked under my block for like hours.
which was pretty good.
trish, i really hope you take our words seriously.
even tho the road coming for you is tough, we will always be there to help.
DETERMINATION KAY !"

<3 thanks.

Honestly what will become of me
dont like reality
Its way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
Missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Traveling
I only stop at exits
Wondering if Ill stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I dont cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

Failure by designer jeans - From first to last
Ciao.
P.S Why do they bedwet?

Mmm what can I say. I am tired. I never felt this happy and good in this year. But I need money now <.<

After going for gambling, we cycle around, went under pearlyne's block, sat there blow wind LOL The fack? Blow wind? Kk whatever. We taaalk til like its 4am. I love the coldness and the laughters <3 Talked bout lots of stuffs... Mmm.

Cycle to 888, supper. OMAEFFINGAWD! I CANT STOP MYSELF. YT is always making me hungry. !!! Whatever <.< =[

Whatever you treat me as, dont effin care. I'll just stick around.

To trxie and reptile, thanks - Chiodos
Lates.

This morning when I woke up, walked into the living room, saw a hamplet or w.e you spelled it. My uncle from London sent a gift for us! It contains a red wine, AND FRIGGIN EIGHT BOX OF CHOCOLATES! FUCKING A! I was stuffing myself with chocolates LOL oh no!

Went to 515, meet them. Came my house after dinner. Gambling again. O.m.g. When will they stop. Addicts. Gamble their life away one day.

Dont wait - Dashboard confessional
Peace.
P.S Mmmkay, fine then.

While I was trying to get to sleep yesterday night, I was like shaking my feet and fidgeting alot. Then suddenly I heard a sound. Its like a laughter but not really a laughter. "Wu ha ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" Then I freezed! I dare not to move a single bit LOL wtf man wtf! Then I lay still for like more than an hour til my sis came home. Gees <.<

Your not alone - Saosin
Ciao.

Picxy leech from PY's blog.





ZULIA!

Sent Lan a msg, doubt he would reply.
Maybe hes really in trouble ._.
Should I be sorry?
Could I be sorry?
Am I wrong?

Bah. Sick of insincere peoples. How do you expect me to give you an answer with all that bullshit. BULLSHIT I SAY! TOTAL BULLSHIT!

I cant seems to stop or distract myself from my cravings. Everyday, I just feel like having a FEAST! I keep sayin tomorrow. Will stop soon, will stop. But NO! Tomorrow never ends. O gees, just gimme a feast ._. What? Chocolate, Ice cream, some fried, greasy stuffs, AJISEN RAMEN! ANYTHING! Maybe I should just go chew on something. Meh.

My migrane starts again o_o Hate it when it comes. Its the left side this time. I always tilts my head to the left when I walk. Just trying not to move my head too much. LOL reminds me of Andrew.
"I think when I shake my head too hard, my brains are knocking against the skull, thats why my head hurts. Oh no I cant stop shaking my head. THERES A SOUND! I SWEAR I HEARD MY BRAIN!"

Weeeh! I got the full season 4 of Family Guy. Love STEWIE! <3~
The faÇade innocent, harmless seeming baby.

Stewie Griffin: Up! Stewie wants to go uppie! Mmm, mama's skin's so soft...
Lois Griffin: Oh, aren't you affectionate tonight. Well,let me give you a kiss...
Stewie Griffin: Another! Another! Mama has candy kisses!
Brian Griffin: All right, that's enough!
[laves the table in disgust]
Lois Griffin: Stewie... did you unhook mommy's bra?
-
Stewie Griffin: [shouts] Oh, my God, Jeremy's still in the trunk! How long has it been? Two weeks.... ... Nope, hes dead.
-
Stewie: HA! Thats so funny I forgot to laugh! Excluding that first "ha".

Bite to break skin - Senses fail
Bai.
P.S I love the necklace YT gave me. LOL.
P.P.S When will all this end.

...
I'll just hide away and pretend I have my own life thingy going on.
Sick of this.
How many times? I lost count.
It keeps happening.
Im damned. Damned forever.
I see no end to it.
I see no salvation.
HURTZ, go screw off.

SICK.
Not really. Just suffering from EXTREME flu, headache, cough.
LOL I got my cough from YT and YT got her flu from me! You die I die!

After reaching home from YT house, sit a while then went out again. Late again! Woops. Meet PY at Yio chu kang, went to PS. Go Ajisen Ramen eat! Sooo nice ;P I was hoping the spicyness will stop my flu >.> It did! Only for like 30mins. Then went to the carpark to smoke. LOL and in the carpark theres those carrefour trolleys. We took one and YT climb into the trolley and sat in there. She said, "PUSH ME PUSH ME" I pushed her on the slope and let go LMAO she screamed soo LOUD HAHA. My turn! Friggin YT didnt hold on to the trolley AND I HIT THE WALL >_> Fun fun! Make a scene at the carpark har har.

Went Foxx. PY and LY TOOK sooo long to choose a piece. In the end, the decision was the first one they tried -_-! Blah blah blah, walked to paradiz, played pool. The flu is killing me every minute. Went to eat tou hua. Walked back to MRT station. Was deciding to go YT house again. NO i feel so sick. So we went seperate ways, they went gambling again ._. Fun day tho I feel sick. It would be a better day if I werent sick!

Mad at XY. Ask you out, your always busy. Wen you ask me out, im always down for it. Hmph. Tomorrow, if im still sick, I WONT GO HMPH! Drinking is no more fun anyway.

Ahhh havent finished my book. YT DONT GO CAMP AND KL ;__; What am I gonna doooo without youuuuu! After we got the wheel, LETS RIDE TO ANG MO KIO! I know tha wayyy!

GEE, SARS IS BACK. Headache, flu, coughs. LETS SPREAD IT AROUND, FUCKING A!

You and I both - Jason Mraz
Ciao.
P.S Please please please.
P.P.S Now I feel lkie vomitting.

Just reached home from YT house. Yesterday went to her huse and disturb them while their gambling ;P Then after that me and YT went around looking for bicycle. Lol seriously, we found two and both only managed to screw off one side, the other side is too tight. We ride to fragrant wood, finally found one I MANAGED to screw off both side, then were sooo close to getting it, friggin someone yelling from above "OI! OIIII!" WASTED! So funny.
Tired, head ache plus FLU. LOL my ass hurt. Slept at YT house. Lazy to blog nowadays.
BROKE =[

Your sword versus my dagger - Silverstein
Lates.
P.S MONEY PLEASE.

AHHHHHHH NO! Mission FAILED! <_< WO BU GAN XING! Fill in the details later. Wont be back til morning ;_;

No treatment, maybe.

For you handsome ;3
Gusto kita, sbi mo gusto mo rin ako, pede ba tyong mainlove sa isa't isa! (:

Walking at night, alone - Armor for sleep
With loves.

Effin annoying Jin Wei. Stop acting like I want you. I DONT. LIKE "PEEE-EE-YOUUU"?!?!
Sick fag.

Woke up at 6am today. Went online and 'wake myself up'. Shower and went swimming with YT. Yes swimming LOL Dont comment ;P No sun! @#$@#$ WHEN I WANT IT TO RAIN, IT DOESNT RAIN. When I need the sun, it doesnt come. I misss my skin colour ;[! I miss how people say i look like a Malay LOL ;3 Yeh its true!
Then me and YT try walking to Khatib MRT station from those blocks. LOL so fun. I love walking in places I dont know AND when its cold ;] Seriously I miss the coldness like just now! So cold, so nice. Walked around at CWP. Still cold <3
Quickly rushed home.

Went to skin centre with my mom. OMG she seems more nervous than me. Sometimes I think she needs to learn to calm down, she cant think clear like that. Like what happened at NSC, the paper had my queue number, she didnt notice it and "panic". I was like relaaaax got queue number right. Mmm one session is around 250$ and I need around fice sessions. I wanna know if she can claim the money back if not im NOT doing the treatment tho she is willingly to pay for me. Cause its too expensive, dont wanna spend those unnessary money. It doesnt affect me at all.

Dont know if I wanna go YT house, im tired. IF I DID! IMMA SNEEZE AT YOU! LMAO.
O yar, I have to go ._. Accompany YT steal bicycle wheels -_-
Sweet revenge muahaha >D

Secrets dont make friends - From first to last
Lates.

AHHH Hidir let me see a video on youtube. Made by RO screenies and a sad melody from simple plan - untitled. ;__;!! Stop rubbing into my wounds. Nice video ;|

Swimming cancelled!
Decided to go to school and ask about my enrollment for next year. Dug out my w.e cert and report book and meet YT and pearlyne. LOL YT went straight to POOP at vista point toilet. Mmm went to school, the clerk said that the next year NA is full. I was yeh kinda disappointed but they told me to try again after the N level results is out. Imma go back at 20th. LOL Saw Big MOLE lee! He stills remember me. Chatted with him, was funny. He dont seems 'fierce, guai lan' as before. Prolly cause I had grown up and wasnt rude to him at all! And I was like if I come back to this school, must LOOK AFTER me OKAY! Lofl ;3 The clerk remembers my name and ah hok remembers me! He walk past, I was like AH HOK! xD Then YT said, "Your dad ar? Like that call."
Mmm hang around in school til like 2+ then they wanted to play badminton. I was like hummm, o...k. Then YT went home to get her racket, when she came down I told her, errr lets not. LOL then we all went home.

Darren talked to me on MSN. Mmm well. Got no comment on this ._.
Hindi kita mahal. Thats all.
You want me to like you. I dont even know you. When we talk, you dont talk about your stuffs. All you did is to reply about the stuffs that im talking to. Or give opinion about it. Seriously, I dont know you.

Mmm went to CWP to have dinner with LY. Got took up. And I forgot to bring my HP out <.< On the way back, saw my ex primary school classmate. Hafiz. I dont think he recognise me so I didnt try to say hi. Was soo geeky, tomboy LOL back then. I used to like him back then, he was soo hilarious xD When I reached home, realised that LY tried calling me many times, I guess it wasnt her fault so yup, aint mad nemore.

Gotta sleep soon ;3
I actually had lots of stuffs to rant about today. But I just pretty much fill in the better stuffs rather than listening to my rants all day --;
I feel fat, I am fat.
Tomorrow.
Peoples in the mall.
I miss you.
Im lovin the RoseRO community.
Humm new E-buddy from SINGAPORE. w00t
Mmm criminology, psychology.
Lets fall in love, kie?

Motion city soundtrack - When your around
Deuce.

AHHH Buushit! I thought I had a possibility that I would hear from Lan again. Chatted with Abigail today. I asked her if she heard from JP. She said no but she plays with Rye on other servers. I was alll like, DO HE KNOW LAN?! Help me ask him about Lan! Omg pls pls pls plssss!" But buuuushit, she said they had no communication.
-
I wonder, why I dont hear there being a Black serial killer.

Reinventing the exit - Underoath
Lates.
P.S My mom is funny.
P.S An older a person gets, the younger she gets at heart.
Meaning = Childish/immaturity.

Mmm. I am pissy today. LIKE for most of the little thing nails me.

My granny say the stupiest stuffs ever. Theres no more fruits in the house except for those on the altar. Then I wanted to get the apple. She said AH MEI AH! BUAY SAI LA! [YOU CANT GET THOSE] She even ask me to throw two coins on the floor, and ask the god if I could eat those. JEEZ why do I have to ask something that I dont even believe in! But I obliged. >_> Should I even ask it if I could shower, if i could have lunch, IF I COULD DIE?! The fack.
Im god, worship me.
No reason thing. Theres no scientific proof to any of that. People who pass down stories thru a book or w.e shit, the stories have prolly been nurfed, changed for who-knows how many times. And I couldnt be sure, I dont even talk to the person who wrote those books. A MYTH A FRIGGIN RUMOUR. So what if i just took my apple? BITE ME.

Went downstairs and buy food for my sis. I waited 40mins, before that, I told her not to put any veggies. 40mins past. I took them up. Open the lunchbox. Friggin veggie everywhere. Theres only like three mouthful of noodles. Seriously, I got soo pissed that I went back down, "Another packet of noodles, NO INGREDIENTS PLS."

Some MSN friends are so annoying too.
Darren called me for dinner, and I agree at first, but it rained heavily and I feel lazy, so I cancelled it, and he got mad.

Hindi kita gusto, so tigilan mo na ako. Sa mga CORNY mong joke! At hndi ako nalulungkot kung hndi ka na nagtext skin >.> ASA KA.
Sry BUT im MAD.

Shotgun - The outline
Deuce.
P.S I took the apple without asking IT.

Weee my mom bought that book home!

For some reason theres some weird bruises that appear when i woke up and I dont remember why. Jeez.
I wish I had someone to waste my life with.
Humm, my post is getting shorter and shorter. And thats a good thing o_o

The ransom - Escape the fate.
Deuce.
P.S Im hungry ._.
P.P.S Im in the process of freaking myself out at home. I WISH MY MOM IS HOME.

W00t! Cant wait til its 21st of December! Our celebration for Christmas! But then again, I aint christian. So why should I celebrate.. Humm every festival to me is like a reason to have fun! A reason to parteehh ;3 A REASON TO PIG OUT laaawl.
I heard there will be like 30+ PEOPLE going out LOL Jeeeeez. I NEVER gone out with sooo many friggin people before w00000t its soo gonna be fun ;P
And I hope Sufi is there LOL. I know i know! DONT COMMENT ON THAT HAHAHA.
And I heard Sufi is working there too! Sooo glad to have him working together.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeee YT came back from HK LOL. Im sooo the first to know. When she log on MSN I was like, "O SHIT!" *Spam* YT YT YT Y TY TY TYT YT YT!@!#!@# Then she went offline without replying. I was guessing her compy HANGED ROFLMFAO!

Buuuhuuu I want something to happen. W/E IT IS, JUST HAPPEN! I dont care.

Failure by designer jeans - FROM FIRST TO LAST
Deeeeuuuuce.

Can i just be something
Somewhere in your room
That you wont notice
Maybe ill be paper
Or books thrown on your floor
Move me when you want to
Ill live where you put me
In your VCR
If i become a cassette
Or on top of your computer
If thats where i would fit
Then so be it

I will not say one word
Ill just hang around
I wont annoy you at all
When you move out ill stay
Until im thrown away
But then it wont matter

-

I wish something happened..

The truth about heaven - Armor for sleep
Deuce.

Ahhh! Wheres Abli!

"I like stuffs in my punani." LMAO! Moron.

For once, I wasnt thinking.
I should sleep now.

Theres no sympathy for the dead - Escape the fate
Baiee.

Just came home then log on msn, Kai was like, "You broke up with Lan ya?" "Yup was like a month ago." "I can date you then!" Lawl! Hahaha.

Anyways, I just came home from Discussion. Well it was boring. We finished the drink at 1.30am. Then was like omg its still so early. Then bum around til like 2am+ I couldnt take it. Its so boring so I wanted to leave first. Then I and Darren walk around orchard slowly cause I didnt want to go home YET! Seriously im uber bored. Walk walk walk talk talk talk tilll mcafe. Sat there talk talk talk til its like 4am. Then my eyes are sooo red! Damn contact lens. Ahhh gotta get a new one. $_$

Seriously I havent slept from yesterday's gamblings at PY house cept that two hours nap in the afternoon til now! And I dont feel a least tired. Ok blah blah blah.
MY EYES!

Laters.

PY'S KITTEH SO CUUUUTE!
And and her mousie's babies are soooo TEENY! Like an inch. I sooo wanna squeeze it. Humm i didnt just said that.
-
*Sigh* =/
After things changed, things still seems to suck.

Stop the fuckin car - Circa survive
Baiee.

Tumour Forward
Right, read this:

"Dont care how important u think u r..read and repost this if you dont believe it, call the number. Everyone needs to take the time and read this. Just take a break from all your other stupid bulletins about who is gonna die or if your love life will suck for 7 years and be serious and do the right thing. Repost this or you have no soul seriously. A kid needs our help so do the right thing.

Hi, my name is Matt Dawson. I am 23 years old, and I have a large tumor on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if this isnt fixed, and my family cant pay the bills. "The Make A Wish Foundation" has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is reposted. For those of you who repost, I thank you so much. But for those who dont repost it, I will still pray for you. Please, if you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please, PLEASE REPOST THIS MESSAGE AS "READ PLEASE"!


Matt Dawson
602-999-7996 Home

Please feel free to call me for anything.

*hey it wont cost you but 10 seconds of your time*


I wont name who sent me this, but they wasted a good 15 seconds of my life by doing so. I shalnt turn this into a rant about forwarded messages, thats been done before. Rather, Im talking about this particular forward. For those who dont receive enough of this shit already, this is actually an exact copy of another fake forward doing the rounds. The only difference is the pretentious, patronising, holier-than-thou opening paragraph. That and the addition of a phone number. What arrogant fuckwit is going to think people are stupid enough to actually call it and check that this forward is genuine? "O yeah, Ill just call an international number I got in a forward to check to see if this email I forward to everyone will actually give this guy his whole 7 cents." I might as well send him a cheque equal to the cost of the phone bill I would have made; Id be making a bigger donation that anyone else (seeing as theirs would be absolute fuck all).

And what does "Please feel free to call me for anything" mean? Why? Why would I call? "Hey Matt, hows it going, still got the tumour? … Oh, no reason, I just got an email from someone telling me you had a brain tumour and that I could help give you 7 cents by forwarding it to people, and it handily included your home number. This is the right number, right? … Oh. Should I try his mobile? … Matt Dawson? … You dont? … Ah … Well, I suppose I should have guessed it was a copy of another email I got yesterday… and yes, I suppose “Matt Dawson” is a really bad fake name. That, and Im thick as shit. Sorry."

And if youre talking to someone who thinks they are very important, try to use correct spelling and grammar. Its even easier to look down on you if you write like a five year old on ketamin. I mean, I manage to. And Fuck-button, you only use an Asterisk notation when theres an asterisk in the actual script.

Although I will say I like the apt description of other forwards as the other stupid bulletins. But to be honest, I personally think that a 23 year old who is relying on people forwarding his tale to fund an operation probably isnt really worth saving.thedailyrant.

Juturna - Circa Survive
Laters.

CIRCA SURVIVE! Mmm confusing is it a Band or the singer from Saosin?

Mmm I might consider if you had the sincerity but no! Or either I dont feel it. Seems that after that Carl's jr thingy you stopped talking to me. Weeeelll will u even call me on Sat.

AHH no! Havent called the SCHOOLS yet! Should I even start calling them NOW?! Humm but no! I didnt want to! Sometimes I wish I had an assistant send from the sky to take care of everything for me. Who doesnt haaa. And I still think that im escaping REALITY. O how I hate this word. Why cant I grow up!
Still pondering whether if I should get a job.
Lifes been fun for them. Mmmmm.

A decade under the influence - Taking back sunday
Bai.

Fucking A, I cant sleep! Humm wrong I just dont wanna sleep.

ACCEPTED! This movie is awesommmeeee! This movie is teh shit man.

"Ask me about my weiner."

"Lets start a Battle Royale!"

"Look, we throw a lot of fancy words in front of these kids in order to attract them to going to school in the belief that their gonna have a better life, and we know that all were doing is breeding a whole new generation of buyers and sellers, BUYERS AND SELLERS! Pimps and whores, PIMPS AND WHORES! and indoctrinating them into a life long hell of debt and indecision! "

ITS NOT DISGUSTING! I MISS YOU! DONT GO HK! Rofl ;D

Met YT at CWP then hang around waiting for LY to come. YT bought her jeans at CWP. Then LY came and hum I bought something to eat cause I havent eaten since morning. Sooo hungry! Eating and talking while finishing my food cause I couldnt bring the food up the train. Talk talk talk then that dumbass YT says," Wo you mei you yong dao bi ni qu!" THEN LY TURNED AND WENT HOME. STUPID YT! Then I raaannn and chase LY but in the end I didnt beg her to stay LOL. Idiot man.

Then we two went to Bugis. Humm Bugis Village is HOT. Bought a clothing and nothing else! We go Ajisen Ramen eat. OMG I KAY KIANG order the same Ramen with YT. SOOO FRIGGIN SPICY! AHHH was like couldnt enjoy my meal! Kept blaming YT. Hahahahaha. Humm then meet my sis at CWP and walked home together.

I AM OFFICIALLY BROKE! Left 20cents ;D! Gotta collect money or ask for donations from my Daddie. Imma save every cents he gave me and then I can go out again >_>! IF NOT I WONT GO OUT WITHOUT A SINGLE CENTS!

@#$
The ground folds (Acoustic) - Senses fail
Peace.

SOMEONE FUCT MY FRIENDSTER UP! Wonder whos fucking aruond with my friendster. All my pics GONE!

UGH gotta get my BUM OUT OF THE HOUSE! Im late again.

Somehow this chair and the compy have attracting powers that made me not wanting to move away from IT! And the more I type the more I didnt wanna move. Humm okay im outtie.

Populace in two - FROM FIRST TO LAST
Deuce.
P.S I miss you! Really.

AHHH NOOO! Yt's going to hk ;[!
Imma go shopping with her later! Effin flu still bothering me much tho. But STILL I am still strong with my stand! No drugs! People are sooo dependant on drugs.
Saosin's new songs suckzoorrrs! =/
Mmm I wish december never ends. I miss the coldness. On this month last year, i was still playing RO with my blanket in front of the com, ranting about the coldness in Alde. Ahhh.

Shower
Deuce!

Friggin flu for days.

Where the hell is my buddy Snydes!

Cause I like
Where you sleep
When you sleep
Next to me
I like
Where you sleep
Here

Cause our lips
Can touch
Our cheeks
Can brush
Our lips
Can touch
Here

You are the one, the one that lies close to me
Whispers, "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love you with suddenly
That theres no place else I could be but here in your arms.

#$!%#@$RI(U@FIOPDJWRIQ#()%I*#$%)*#%OPRIEPWI@ >_>

Shopping cancelled. Dinner cancelled. But its okay! I <3 staying home on rainy days. AND THE THING THAT PISSED ME OFF IS MY GRANNNEEEE! I hate my com in the living room. I hate not having my own room cause of my granny. WE ARE OFFICIALLY COMPETING THE NOISE FROM MY COM AND HER TEEVEE.
Seriously, I miss the quietness of my home.
I WANT MY OWN ROOM.

Yayyy my mousies are finallly eating! Its funny to hear their feet sound when they are running on my bed. Its like some cartoon sound. Reminds me of Family guy's STEWIE!

"Na nana nananana nan na?"
"Na na nanana na."
"Nana."

LOL <3
Crash and burn - Savage garden
Laters.

Yay for skirtie tomorrow! And yay for greenie!

When I was showering in the morning, was sitting in the toilet smoking and thinking random stuffs. Was thinking about a new wallet cause my sis's FACE is stuck on the wallet. Then thought about money... then... remembered theres a 10 dolla note in my back pocket of my short which I threw in the pail.... of water... a min.. AGO! Was like, "AHHH SHIT!" Jeez was yelling in the toilet. Luckilyyy money is not torn easily. >.>

Hummm went to YT house. They GAMBLING AGAIN! I was soo bored. I hate gambling so I didnt join in. Sat on her bed disturb them. Disturb YT's mousie. Disturb YT. LY kept winning after I came LOL! Bummed around til like 6+ then we went for dinner. YT! That asshole! We were playing in the middle of the road and she suddenly YELLED at my face "YOU CHE!" Of course! Natural reaction, to jump and run? LOL and she couldnt stop laughing and KEPT replaying my reaction OVER AND OVER AGAIN. >_> Series of funny stuffs. Blah blah blah.
Went back gamble again >.>....... Nearly fell asleep! While I was resting i heard YT say, "Hope she fall asleep til she missed her movie." Was like WHAT?! I HEARD THAT! LOL!
PY RETURN ME MY RICOLA! Ate all my sweets ;[

Went back home then catch Battle of Wits with my dad! The story wasnt that good.. But I like when its war! Soooo MUCH soldiers! Its like a game ha. And friggin people so noisy behind. Then after the movie we were hungry! Daddie and I went to 515 for supper. And humm I told him to buy Green tea for me and I helped him order Carrot cake. Then when I went back.... was like THE HELL?! He was holding a tiger and two mugs. >.> Shees and I saw Ben Ho they all. Na na na love my Daddie! Hes so cool. We share ciggies, he allows me to drink, he drives me to pub sometimes, and he owns a cool bike! <33

OKAY! And now im home. Back to my SOLIDARY CONFINEMENT. Or w.e you spell it. Haaa

All at once - The fray
PEACE! Much loves!<3~!
!! Damn mousie!
P.S He likes me TOO!

Suicidal escape?
The setbacks starts all the way from Sec 3. I need to move OUT of the fence.

Anyway, gotta settle unfinished stuffs at least BY this week or the better, tomorrow. NO MORE PROCRASTINATING! No more time left. I couldnt believe Ive dragged this until now. What the hell am I doing these few years? Wake up girl.
*Takes a huge breath*

Didnt get much sleep these two days! Didnt know why I just couldnt sleep. Mmm maybe im just used to sleeping 12 hours a day? Rawr ;3 Have to wake up early tomorrow. Humm imma go take a nappie on my sofa since I couldnt sleep on my bed. - .-

LIST OF STUFFS DELAYED
-My skirt damnit?
-The decisions
-Numbers
-JOB?! Where is it?

Everything was crashing down again. When I was trying to sleep on my bed mins ago, I felt so suicidal again. I tried talking to my sis. Those words just couldnt come out. And I didnt wanna bother her cause shes happily talking to him. I lay there and listen how happy she is. I silently tears. Everyone in the world must be thinking, "Look at this emo girl, what a loser..."
Everytime I saw this word loser, I always thought of a poem I read somewhere. And I feel better again. I regretted I didnt save it. Couldnt find it now. That poem is so strong.

PEOPLE WHO TRIED TO HELP. THANK YOUUUUUU! Much loves <3~!!

Mmm niways, tomorrow will be better. (:
Disguise - Lene Martin
Peace.

NOMOREPROCRASTINATING.

Life as a guy

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4, 5, 6. Aww darn. 7, 8, 9. Not quite yet. 10, 11, 12. Go on. 1, 2, 3? Lan, yes, no? No. Lets do this again.
What is this?! A friggin cycle?

Honestly, what is the purpose of me being here? Is it to enjoy my life and make the most of all the free time I have? Or is it just to be taken for a fucking ride by pretty much everyone I come into contact with though no fault of my own??

Im emo? Damn right.
Angry kid? Not quite.
I am SO DEAD.
Hate me.

NIWAYS! Chatted with Mary and Rara yesterday night. Jeez cant stop calling him Mary. I MEANT Marvin. HE JUST gotta rub in salt to my wounds. "You and Lan still <3?"
...No me and Lan S/2 Hes dead. "WERE" DEAD. No more "WE". So like just.... shees. WHAT DO YALL WANT TO HEAR?! WERE DONE OKAY! Friggin a, why cant EVERYONE stop asking about US. Seriously you know... everyone! Jeez. No im not gon end here. Tell me what you want to hear? Happy ending? And "they" lived happily ever after? NO joke man. This is pissing me off. So he just disappear like that. The hell can I do? Stop asking me illogical questions. You really think I could do something?! You really think hes not to blame? You really think he will be back? And? The point is? No! Theres no point. All the things ive done. Theres no point! Things ive given up for him. PEOPLES ive given up for him. Theres NO point! Time ive wasted. Efforts ive wasted. THERES NO POINT. SO STOP ASKING. STOP TELLING ME THERES STILL HOPE. STOP TRYING TO COMFORT ME CAUSE ITS NOT GON HAPPEN. HE IS NOT HERE. HE IS NOT ALIVE. I! For the last time will ever be alive to him.

... ...

Seriously this month I AM TRYING NOT TO GET MAD OR ALL EMO OVER HIM. SO PEOPLE JUST STFU.

Humm.. >.> I am not dissing Marvin. Just... he trigger my emotional bomb. -_-

Seriously that song gotta shut up for once. I AM NOT HAPPY STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL HAPPY.

XY asked me if I quarrel with Darren. -_- was like huh? O...k dont wanna RANT anymore.

Letters to you(Acoustic) - Finch
Word out.
P.S I am fine now. -_- Or may appear. Seriously man... kkthxfuckyallbai.

Procrastinate til eternity >.>

Cant sleep! Im soo sleepy and my right head hurts so much but I cant sleep. So got up to blog. Iono why I tends to blog everytime I couldnt sleep. Prolly cause of the thoughts in my head? The music in my head? Gah.

I remember the times I was obsess with RO. We had like four wipes. At the first wipe, I hated the days after the first wipe and misses the old one. At the second wipe, I hated the second and misses the first. It goes on. I guess thats much the same about life. Now I misses Kaz3ro and its gone.
If im at my deathbed, will I regret more on the things Ive done or the things I didnt do?

Today, was talking with my mom and sis. They suddenly talked about Hypotension or w/e they spell it. Then I asked whats that? And then all the nurses in the house starts talking. Then suddenly my sis says im pron to Hypotension with my way of life. Was like, "OooKAY, NURSE."

Here - Hellogoodbye
Ciao. For the last time today. >.>
P.S If you want to avoid obstacles in your life, fence them out. But, you dont fence obstacles out, they fence you IN.
P.P.S Is the mousies mating? Why is that noise?

Is is really that simple?
Maybe its just that simple.

May be, may not be. Your choice.

Say it - Voices of theory
Humm see you again, again, andd again.

P.S HAPPEE BIRTHDAY NURUL! I aint going tho! Sry!
P.P.S Havent made a decision YET! WHAT? What should I do?
P.P.P.S I sincerely miss L.I.F.E Whats life?

Where are you now?
As Im swimming through the stereo
Im writing you a symphony of sound
Where are you now?
As I rearrange the songs again
This mix could burn a hole in anyone
But it was you I was thinking of

Came back from supper. Haa in the end we only ate some little things cause we aint hungry at all. And PY! Finally gave me her mousies! <3
And then I said, "I was wondering how YT look like in long hair with her previous hair." LOL AND after that she took my SLIPPER AND THREW IT ON THE ROAD. >_>
We stayed until it was like 1am then decide to go home. Friggin YT pushed me into that banner. >_> and keeeeept laughing. And I yell at her ears hahaha we were yelling like no one's fuck.

We parted and I walked down the road. I <3 thee cold, empty, dark, quiet and lonely road. Well it doesnt really matters if its quiet or not. I loove walking down that road with my mp3. It makes me feel happy.. freee and humm joy! Humm I was like AWW when I reached home. I wish I can walk like that forever. Keeep walking with my mp3. <33 The breeze, the cold and the air.

Here - Hellogoodbye
Ciao.

Talked to my mom about private.. Errrrr. One week only two or three classes?! Each class 3 hours only?! WHAT?! ... ... I dunno what to say.

Neways new song =D Tho it doesnt quite fit my blog. Emo blog with a happy song. Ha so not right. But w/e this song makes me happy =D
From Khao <3

Laters.

Reflect, Evaluate. Am I doing the right thing?

YT! YOU TOOK MY MOUSIE! ITS SPOSE TO BE MIIIIINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Pif >(

Hum should I stop the weekly drinking?... >.>

I AM soo indecisive! I cant decide whether i should go back to High school or not. Do I have other alternative? =/

Its amazing how every one of my memory have a song for it. Its like a film played in my head with a playback music.

Crash and burn - Savage garden
Laters.
P.S I think im infatuated with you! Brighten up my life pls.

Went to get a referal from the Polyclinic. Before that was chatting with YT on msn. Then i told her to accompany me to the Polyclinic. Shes like "Why? Baby ar?" LOL then I was like yup. HAHA eventually everyone believed. Funny. Along the way there, so much funny stuffs happen. People in the Polyclinic was even funnier. After that we met up with Michelle. Humm on the bus, they told me to give a second thought about going back to school. I was like, " If not high school, where can I go?"
Where can I go.. What can I do? Wasted two years.
They went to Py house after that but I went home. Felt lazy. And they reached her house and webcam with me. LOL YT told PY that the doctor use a scapel to cut my birthmark. LOL I decided to play along and i went to get a plaster and paste over my birth mark then appear at the webcam. LMAOO so funny.

Neways, weeeee more E-friends. ;] But seriously, RoseRO is high rates. That place is full of noobs. Kept asking simple things. YO THERES A THING CALLED ROEMPIRE.COM. >.> They didnt know Occult is spamable, or how-to. Didnt know Breaker is stronger when elemented. Dont even know Preuma blocks breaker. Thats like the most basic stuffs. Didnt know Cutlus give Bash. Bash owns with EDP. Ha this few words keep repeating "gotta own them gotta own them gotta own them."

GOTTA OWN THEM YO
Our flag is white - This providence
Ciao.

Im leaving again
For the second time around
You better believe
That this was all just a joke to me
And as i look down on them
I repeat these words in my head
"They never heard one sound out of my mouth
they never heard one sound"
I saw pretty clear
But when i left you all stayed the same
Now i think i believe
That i was never alive in the first place

Should I just tell him the hurting truth? I did tell him the very first time he asked. Months past, im sure he got the msg that im never gonna be with him. Ha tho hes effin rich blah blah blah. But too bad theres no attraction between us.
Like how am i gonna face him at the weekly drinking. Mmm. Thursday, Carls Jr with him or not?...

Annddd i think im going back to the kind of life i had previously AGAIN! Not the first time. Sleep RO sleep. So boring and MEANINGLESS. HELP! ??

I browse thru the photos and screenshots we had together. I was suprised i didnt feel sad at all even with those depressing songs i was listening to. I even smiled at the good times we had. I miss him =] Maybe one day... "Cool - Gewn Stefani"
He once said, "If ever we're not meant to be for each other, I want you to know that I, for the first time, loved someone truely, honestly giving everything and if ever we part our ways, for some reason maybe because of destiny, I will always look back to the times we spent, will laugh, at the same time cry, for love fought for.. but left behind." I will miss him.

Tonight - Lost prophets
Peace.

December fades. Where had our dreams, love and passion gone to? Everything about Decemeber means nothing anymore.
-Alone in december

I want something consistent in my life.

I used to make the light shine for you
The sun has left my sky
Velvet walls surround my sorrows
Ive sacrificed my pride

Giving up on me
Youre giving up on me

Ive laid myself to sleep tonight
I know youve played out everything in your mind
and now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay through thick and thin with me

Youre giving up on me

And when you feel the pain
Im wishing I could stay
How can I say I love you back?
You never made me happy

I know youll never change
I wont be good enough for you
I know youll make it through
Ill never be around to see

Right first of all I have just had a large rant on a similar subject but I dont feel I thoroughly got it out of my system.
If theres one thing that really gets on my tits its BLOODY MOBILE SLANG. I am seventeen so can safely say that its stupid with out seeming old. I dont care if I am on a bloody "pay by the fucking word" system Ill be dead before I disobey simple rules of grammar, and it gives all teenagers a bad image. Were not all a bunch of illiterate bastards who sit around on street corners with chewing gum in their fucking mouths, texting someone standing next to them with some bloody inane and illegible piece of arse such as "wht r u doin ur stndn rgt nx 2 m bt i dnt cr c u l8r" (correct translation "what are you doing, youre standing right next to me but I dont care see you later" was it such a fucking problem just typing that? - NO). Its people like that who will be cleaning the toilets of tomorrow, you mark my words. -Thedailyrant

Living in black and white - Underoath
Ciao.

Suddenlys "Drinking is bad, I should stop."

"Is there any point of time in life when everything is going smooth?"
"There will always be obstacles."
"Uhh so like.. theres none. So theres no?... No smooth point? So like the answer is no?
... So is there any point in life?" Jeez

Humm i dunno how to start this post -_-...
I am soo wasted last night. Sheees I totally neglected the rate im drinking. And didnt even try to control it. Didnt know why/what/who cause me to drink that way. Anyways HAHAHA I wished Mike Happy birthday for the sixth time. Funny thing is I dont even need to buy cigarrette when I get there. I was like Mike got ciggie? Then he said he dont have either then XY came and gave us ciggies from the next table. Then were like quick quick! Mike took two LOL I took three HAHAHAHAHA! And I didnt realise I was drinking so quickly. But I like myself feeling tipsy it makes me feel better talking. BUT jees this is too much.
Once I vomitted, my world started spinning reeal quick. My world spins so crazily. And Tina kept telling me to puke it all out. Puke puke puke! And I was like all trying to say THERES NOTHING LEFT TO PUKE I just had my lunch and nothing else. And then when I finally did stand up and walked out, I was like "Dont pull me!" Lmaooo I know that they are actually trying to help but when I walked im trying to concentrate and make myself less dizzy. But when they hold me, its actually getting more dizzy. So was like dont touch me. Then Darren sent me home and I lay dead on my bed. Not really, I think i was so noisy last night. Woke my sis up. Anyway its a fun night.

Anyway, I feel skinny after all those puking lmfaooo. Im so hungry ._.

New medicines - Dead poetic.
Deuce.

Wth man. In the end everyone never go. What a spoil joy man. The same old people at Discussion. Drinking seems so boring now. Im just waiting for the time to pass til its time to go out now -_-! Which is at night. Like six hour more to wait. Wtf man wtf. I rather sleep.
/Edit.
The other half are going. Well at least people are goin. x_x

-
The only thing that has been consistent in my life suddenly become so unrealistic and disappointing. O the irony.

When the sun sleeps - Underoath

Woke up at 9am+. Wow. Yea thats so "wow". Neways, sitting around at home till like 12+ my sis wanted to meet me. Then of course I was late ;P
While I was on the train, this old man came to sit beside me and he took out a think book in english and began reading silently. I was *looked at him, then looked at the book* Wow... Then suddenly I began to notice ALMOST everyone around me was reading a book. Then a kid and his mom came in, sat in front of me. THAT KID that was like less than primary 1, took out a book. A book that says "World geography, encyclopedia." WTF?! I was like the wtf expression.
I suddenly began to feeel so dumb -_-!

Went to cineleisure, didnt manage to get any stuffs I wanted. Went to that resto, z0mg BROWNIEEEEES! Tho I still think TCC's better. Went straight back home.

I was sooo tired. For some reason I always get so restless when im tired x_x LOL I kept talking to my mom my sis. They find me soo irritating. Then began telling them how weeds is healthier than ciggarette. BUT ITS TRUE YO! Then started telling my mom how I will so try that if ever I got the chance. And yay is also known as weeds. And telling how Marijuana is pronouce as Marawana not mariJUAna. And kept laughing at her, how a 17 yr old girl owned her mom. Then she couldnt believe its pronouce as Marawana. And started telling her that I would live in Amsterdam, where weeds are legal. LMAOOO Dayumm I am sooo an asshole. But all of the above is true except the part where I wanted to live in Amsterdam.
Seriously still laughing.

And dayum. I miss ANDREW SNYDES! Snydes and me and our pointless chats. It really cracks me up.
"I must kill you if you ask for buff."
"Buff me" *Hits* *hits back*
"NO you dont hit her. Only she can hits you but you cant hit her back."
HAHAHA I miss him ;[

And im soo annoyed with the things at my house. My house phone is spoilt. My door bell is out of batt and no one wants to change it. Or either its spoilt too.

I can tell - Saosin
Deuce.

Noises and kisses - The Used

Somehow I feel happy.
More aware of the people around me. My mom. Used to dislike her. Now I love her more.
Mmm this wonderful feeling inside of me.

The taste of Ink - The used
When you were young - The killers.
Wow three songs had played while I write this post.
Ciao.

Weeeeeeeeee so many of us are going on saturday. Havent seen those chicks for like a hella looooooooooooong time! Miss them =D Its so gonna be fun.

Mmm met up with Ramses. And we watched Casino Royale. Dayum I couldnt even understand the movie x_x its complicated and confusing. Anyways, I thought hes sweet. I dunno why just thought hes sweet. Mmmmm for some reason i cant stop smiling ._.

When I was on my way to CWP, GUESS WHO CALLED! Nuruuuuuuuuuul!! Awww so sweeeet! She stills remember me after I left Swensens. She even invited me to her bday picnic at East coast this Saturday! Thats so nice and sweet of her. I thought she forgetten me and I have no other ways to contact her. I lost my phone and the contacts are gone. So was like, hows Swensens now. Those funny Indian guys' last day was yesterday. Sad I wasnt there to wish them luck. They are going back to India next year Feb. I should really msg Bala to wish him all the best ;] And Mam Jane transfered to Vivo City ha. And that Poka or how you spell his name, she said hes getting irritating. I was like LMAOOO. Hes so quiet in the past like me. Must be the influence. Man I miss working in Swensens. ;[

Neways! Dying for saturday. I wanted to buy a skirt but, seems like im not gonna get one anywhere soon.

Deuce.

P.S I miss a real relationship.

W00T! Someone commented on my post! Hes like the first person EVER commented on my blog. Thanks Andrew ;]

Whats life? More than 93% of the world, hates life or agrees that life sucks. So why dont they just end it? I dont see them just ending their life like that. Why dont YOU end your life now and stop saying how life sucks? Why do you wake up each day? What makes you want to get out of bed and start your day? What makes you want to get on with life? I guess its that little glimpse of hope that kept people going. Thinking that one day when they wake up of their dream, everything will turns for the better. Thinking that one day maybe someone will take their breathe away. Thinking how life can be if they could skip this boring daily routine for once. Thinking that today will definately be free of stress and pressure. Thinking that maybe someone will make them smile again. Thinking that they will be out of this dark hole that kept them away from the sun. Is that little glimpse of hope that powerful? What if that little small hope of them be taken away from them? Will they even wake up in the morning? Will they ever cease to exist again? Will they end their life just like that? Just because that hope is taken away from them? I guess its just that powerful. And I will not let that little hope be taken away from me. Not now, not ever. I want to get on with life. I want to wake up every morning, thinking what a beautiful morning to start the day. I want to wake up and smile. I want to wake up and say yes i AM awake cause today is gonna get better and better, and better. Do YOU have hope?

Had a bad baaddd dream. I dreamt that Lan was married. -_-

Cant wait til 20th reach. Then they R freeeee from O levels. It means we can hang out! And plus were gonna look for a job together (: I wanna do some SERIOUS shopping ;D
Cant imagine the days will be like after i join HS. x_x Hopefully I can talk for abit. Dont wanna be like a dumb mute.

Zomg! He says the same thing as Lan everytime he logs off! @_@

Pwede ba - Soapdish
Deuce.

I cant believe I let it happen again.
Ever since I met Lan, I promised not to let anyone disrespect me again.
But I betray myself today. I felt so bad after that. I did it just to replace the voidness in my heart.

I believe we shouldnt let the moment passes by
Lifes too short we shouldnt wait for the water to run dry

Think about it cause we only have one shot at destiny
All im asking could it possibly be you and me

So if you still go i'll understand
Would you give me something just to hold on to
And if you'll stay i'll hold your hand
Cause im truely madly crazy in love with you

Time has come for us to go our seperate way
God forbid but my mind is going crazy today

I feel so cold
Feel so numb Im having nightmares but im awake
Help me lord
Fight this loneliness
Take this pain away


Your the one who set it up
Now your the one to it stop
Im the one whos feeling lost right now
Now you want me to forget every little thing you said
But there is something left in my head

Darna - Kamikazee

Tila ibon kung lumipad
Sumabay sa hangin
Akoy napatingin
Sa dalagang nababalot ng hiwaga

Mapapansin kaya
Sa dami ng 'yong ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat
May pag asa bang makilala ka

Awit na nananawagan
Baka sakaling napakikinggan
Pag ibig na palaisipan
Sa kanta na lang idaraan

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna

Ang swerte nga naman ni Ding
Lagi ka nyang kapiling
Kung ako sa kanya
Niligawan na kita

Mapapansin kaya
Sa dami ng 'yong ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko ang lahat
May pag asa bang makilala ka

Awit na nananawagan
Baka sakaling napakikinggan
Pag ibig na palaisipan
Sa kanta na lang idaraan

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna

Tumalon kaya ako sa bangin
Para lang iyong sagipin
Ito ang tanging paraan
Para mayakap ka

Darating kaya
Sa dami ng ginagawa
Kung kaagaw ko sila
Paano na kaya?

Awit na nananawagan
Baka sakaling napakikinggan
Pag ibig na palaisipan
Sa kanta na lang idaraan

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna

Nag-aabang sa langit
Sa mga ulap sumisilip
Sa likod ng mga tala
Kahit sulyap lang darna
-
Seems like a bird flying with the wind i see
Like a young lady wrapped in a mystery
Would you even notice with all the things you do
If i stole everything is there hope that we would meet

The song of the calling maybe one day you will listen to it
A love that is only a thought maybe through a song instead
Heaven is wondering the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars even a glance from darna

Hes lucky your feelings are always for him
If i were him id go out with you
Would you even notice with all the things you do
If i stole everything is there hope that we would meet?

The song of the calling, maybe one day you will listen,
A love that is only a thought maybe through a song instead
Heaven is wondering, the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars, even a glance from darna

Maybe i should jump off a cliff, just so you could save me
This is my plan just to be in your arms
Will it happen with all the things you do
If i stole everyone what about you?

The song of the calling, maybe one day you will listen,
A love that is only a thought maybe through a song instead
Heaven is wondering, the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars, even a glance from darna

Heaven is calling, the clouds are peeking
Behind all the stars, even a glance from darna

Omg I cant believe it. I just told my mom I wanted to eat Duck rice and she walked all the way to Admiralty to buy it for me. OMG Thats something that never happened. Im so touched =) I love you Ma!

Noooooooooooooo my priest at DarkRO! Gooooooooone! I warp to a fucking unknown place and I crashed. Fucking KRO. So much updates. -_- My level 180 priest!!! I finally maxed three stats -_-. I know its easy BUT STILL I hate leveling with NOTHING!#@$@$@#$@#$@#$.

And remember that guy from Holy?! Morgue. Thats his name! And and he still got that pic I sent him a year ago. AWWW THATS SO SWEEET. Me and my Peco <3

Finally get Ly's ass out of the house. And we went shoppping~ And of course I was late again so I gotta treat them Dou hua! Its okay ^^, I havent treat them anything in a while. Since I got some money now, might as well treat them something simple.

And we went Bugis and shooop =D! We were walking, walking, walking. I didnt see anything I really liked. Then finally I saw THAT RED SHOE! I was like wooooooot! STOP! THIS SHOP THIS SHOP! And I bought it. Now I dont know what to wear with it <_<.

I bought a tee, shoe and a jean. =D Then we walked to Paradiz for Pool and went Discussion. Same stuffs. Same peoples. Mmm its really a boring night tho. And Darren sent me home and and he gave me a watch! Tho I would rather prefer watches that rock but still its sweet.

And next week its Xy's bf birthday. Py and guys said they would go too! Weeeeeeee at least it wouldnt be so boring. More people that im cool with to drink with me. It would be so awesome. (= And Py said Lets wear the same colour! LOL I CHOOSE BROWN RAWR! Kkz Im out.

Alipin - Shamrock
Deuce.

The killers - When you were young
-
Woke up at 6pm lol I KNOW! And went to supper at 515. After that we walked Py home and realised that someone was stalking us all this while. LOL and were like playing along with him. Hang around for around 2hours and hes still following us.
Then finally I and YT went to stalk him INSTEAD LMFAO! And he was like WTF? And he kept walking and walking. Then around some corner we lost him ;[ so sad. No more fun.
Went to Yt house til 3am plus then I decided to go home. And here I am now.

Deuce.

P.S WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

Woot went to work. Well the first day of work wasnt that badd. But it was still boring. I got 40$ at the end of the day. I was like soooooo glaad. And and PY and LY came to find meeeeeee I was like AWWW so sweeet of them (:
Then we went shopping after that. While I was trying on the clothes I heard the song To be with you - Mr Big playing. Daayumm I LOVE THIS SONG! I love how the song reminds me of a person. I love how the song reminds me of the joy and laughter. I love how the song reminds me of the love we had. (:
Alrighttt im out.

My heart your hands - From first to last
Deuce.

Whats the truth and whats not. So hard to know whats even real any more.
Imma move on..

T.I[Feat Jamie Foxx] - Live in the sky.
Deuce.

I carry your heart with me
I carry it in my heart
I am never without it
Everywhere I go, you go, my dear
And whatever is done by only me, is your doing, my darling
I fear no fate, for you are my fate, my sweet
I want no world, for, beautiful, you are my world
My true, here is the deepest secret no one knows
Here is the root of the root
And the bud of the bud
And the sky of the sky
That you called life
Which grows higher than the soar can hold
A mind can hide
Is the wonder of whats keeping the stars apart
I carry your heart
I carry it in my heart.

Uhh okay, the previous post had been officially deleted and saved as draft.
After thinking thru a couple of times, I felt bad and remorseful for saying I shouldnt had said. When I post that, I was tripping so I dont really mean it. I felt sorry for those harsh things I said.

I still love him. I still do.

Im beginning to love life. (:
I felt.. great for the first time.

Heres something I leeched from PY's blog.


Always try to help a friend in need [Check]
Believe in yourself [I often tried, but yet..]
Be brave...but it's ok to be afraid sometimes [Used to]
Study hard [Uhh study... what?]
Give lots of kisses [To whom yo?]
Laugh often [Check ;D]
Don't be overly concerned with your weight, it's just a number [Nuuuu! ITS A JUST A NUMBER!]
Always try to see the glass half full [Check, well most of the times]
Meet new people, even if they look different to you [Not checked, not commented]
Remain calm, even when it seems hopeless [Check]
Take lots of naps.. [Check check check! I sleep my life away when I get the chance]
Be weird whenever you have the chance [Fucking check! I AM weird! ;D]
Love your friends, no matter who they are [Check!]
Don't waste food [Check! You know thats how I roll]
RELAX [Check]
Take an occasional risk [Check, used to, still do]
Try to have a little fun each day. [Check, tho I dont really get the fun but I did try.]
Work together as a team [Not checked, not commented]
Share a joke with friends [Check]
Fall in love with someone.....and say "I love you" often [Check, still loving you..]
Express yourself creatively [Yar O_o my hair says it all]
Be conscious of your appearance [Check, overly done. >.>]
Always be up for surprises [Check, im always down for suprises but whos gonna?]
Love someone with all of your heart [Check, still do]
Share with friends [Check]
Watch your step [Dayum, im a clutz]
There is always someone who loves you more than you know [O there is?]
Exercise to keep fit [Check, just started ;P]
Live up to your name [Used to, its screwed up now]
Seize the Moment [Check]
Hold on to good friends; they are few and far between [Check, still trying]
Indulge in the things you truly love [Mmmm]
Cherish every Sunday [Whats so special bout Sundays?]
At the end of the day... PRAY [Naah i rather pass that. As I say, people turn to god when they are hopeless.]
And smile at least once a day! [Check (:]
-
Ive been waiting, seems like you dont care anymore. Not even a fuckin reply. I havent even recieved that letter you 'sent' two weeks ago. Dayum, I think its really over. Like a bottle filled with memories, thrown out to the sea.. The word "Trust" is really vanishing. The word "Love" slowly fades in.
The songs.. The "we used to".. The place.. The tree.. The Gonyrun.. The Chittling and Chattlings.. The hats.. The pets.. The smiles.. The laughters.. and the tears.. The starting of each days.. and the endings.. Sexy love.
Be strong girl, I love you my boy.

My sweat smells like the fragrance of my body shampoo. Mmmm smells like My Secret Wish ^_^
-
Still finding no courage. I wish i wish i wish! >_<
-
PY! Gimme your mousie pwease =(
-
People always says, lifes too short, enjoy all you can. But people really meant, lifes too long and boring, gotta have fun to pass the time.
-
Note to self : Somethings still not settled.


Im so tired of everything
You and your mind has to say
Leave me? Love me?
Love me? Leave me?

Feelings drowned by the constant waves of goodbye
Emotions welled up from the battles we had
Dangerous minds can kill, you know
It only takes two

I want to know where the story is
What to tell, what to know
Leave me or love me
Love me? Or leave me?

I keep on holding onto the things that want to slip away.
I want to be with you
but I suppose Ill wait for another day.
When the rain has left me dry…
I love you like youd never know.

In good time Ill disappear
In the midmorning I wont be here
But Ill be in your lost memory
I may come back
Or I may not
Ill never see you again just like you wanted
I never seen you smile
Ill never hear you laugh
So Ill never hear or see these things
Until I decide to come back
But until that fateful morning
Ill keep you in my dreams
To see you as youll always be to me
Hoping you wont forget me
And to see you smile
And to hear you laugh
Ill always be a distant memory

Rant rant rant.

Woke up at about 2pm today. When I was lying on my bed, I thought it was like 5pm cause it was so dark.
And call on my girls, asked if they wanna catch The gudge2.

Met up with Ly first. Before that while I was waiting for her, a guy ask me for donation to some charity or something. And I was like I got no money yo o.o And I was thinking, dude I just donated a 400$ to some poor ass boss. -_-

Then went to bough the tixs and we saw Xh and her bf. Haha watching the same movie. Then blah blah blah.

O..k And the movie was ok. The audience was fly as fuck. Like SI-RY-ERS-LY! Okay not really but the audience is tight WITHOUT all those talkings. All they gotta do is scream. Made it thrilling enough. Like everytime, EVEEEERYTIME the lady and that blue lil boy appeared, HALF the cinema is filled with screams. -_- Tho I enjoyed the audience, but it really got annoying as it continues. >_> Thats like so drama.

What the hell is wrong with the world and the next generation. But really, kids these days are so tiny and small. o_o One of these years to come, people will be drawfs. And movies will scare the shit outa them. And one day muslims will be taking over. Not that im racist or whatever, but really I did notice that there are alot muslims. But hey! I like Malays, Id rather have a Malay bf than a Chinese one.
Alright im out.

Deuce.

Love on the internet.

I read my bottom post. And I remember when I was young, I once dreamt of that guy I felt so happy and blissful with. Tho I couldnt see his face or who he is. It just feels so right.

Remember this song?

Do you see me
Do you feel me like I feel you
Call your number
I can not get through
You don't hear me and I dont understand
When I reach out I dont find your hand

Was it wasted words and did they mean a thing
And all our precious time but I still feel so in between

Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending
I wanna hold on but it hurts so bad
And I can't keep something that I never had

I keep tell myself things can turn around with time
And if I wait it out you could always change your mind
Like a fairy tale where it works out in the end
Can I close my eyes have you lying here again
Then I come back down
Then I fade back in
Then I realize its just what
Its just what might have been.

Am I a shadow on your wall
Am I anything at all
Anything to you
Am I a secret that you keep
Do you dream me while your sleeping after all
Some day I just keep pretending
That youll say dreaming of a diffrent ending

You dont see me, you dont feel me like I feel you...

AWWW Thats like the sweeetest thing Ive heard in this few months. After I heard it from my sis I was like im so gonna post it right now. So here I am.

Sir told sis, its a pity she just left like that. And Steve told sis, yar shes so quiet and everything. We misses her.

OMG I felt soo warm after hearing that. Now I regretted leaving =/

Well, today i finally DID went out. -_-! I cant believe I cope the whole day at home the last two weeks. I still.. kinda feel weird around people. Yar around peoples, REEEAL peoples. O gawd im so self consious >_> God I hate it.

I had a long talk with my mom when I woke up. Talks about me being sooo self consious. And about my little depression im having. =_= I just cant find any reason to love myself. Talks about me staying at home all the time. Talks about going back to school. Talks about @#$!@#$. Had another talk with my mom again a sec ago. Ffuck. =( Hate myself. *Pulls hair*
Its like something that I really want and I cant find any courage to go for it.

Then I was sooooo late. Were suppose to meet at 7pm at Bugis. Im like showering at 7.15pm. And it takes about 45mins to reach Bugis from here. Lmao I was rushing like a muthafucker. And friggin a, I saw `N on the train <_< He was like my first crush HAHA. But he was so mean to me back then. So I was like, Shit! *Trying to hide myself* And I wouldnt look at that direction the WHOLE friggin ride. LMAOO wth jeees! My neck was so dayum numb XD

Finally reached Bugis. They were eating and they are quite finished so I just had a drink. Notice I havent ate anything since I woke up. Actually I havent ate anything except a Bao till NOW. Which is morning 7.08am. Okay.. Heres the highlight of the day. Fuckin annoying gay immature Jw wanted to meet me. So I was okay, meet me at the end of Bugis village. Then LMAO when we reached there, he hid behind the stalls LOL I WAS LIKE THE FUCK IS THAT BUTTERD DOING?! What a retard seriously. He sayin wanted to meet me and all that shit and punkt out in the end. And this is not enough, he even STALKED us when we walked away. HAHAHA what a punk ass loser. Then we walked all the way to Paradiz to play billiard. Okay and that bitch ass joined in finally. And I was like, WHY THE HELL DID YOU HIDE JUST NOW?! >_> And hes sayin some lame excuses.

After billiard we went to Discussion. We walked again there. And ... >.> omg I dont know how to put this into words. Fucktard Jw. Okay I yelled at him. HAHA. That made me feel good. Seriously, I dont even know how to critisize him even further more. Gawd @#$@#$@# please STFU GTFO you punk ass gay retard stupid bitch moron stupid fuckin muthafucking fag stab yo ball in da ass cant make a dolla out of two cents cant get no hoe cuz yous a white ass busta. Err.. >.> Okay Im just prolly being mental and plus his all day annoyings.

Word out
Deuce.

Im such a punk ass.
What am I doing? Sitting here watching people with their lives? And what am I suppose to do with mine?
So what you gon do? Punkd out on what you decided?

Im not doing it.

Pussy wussy. Tsk tsk

All ive been trying to do these few days is trying to sleep my day by. Seriously, I wish I know why do I wake up for.
But something caught my interest, just dont got the private space to do it >_> Because of my granny. >.>$#%

So whats the point in all of this?
When you will never change
The days have pass,
The weathers changed
Should I be sorry? Could I be sorry?

I did it all, all for you
Hoping you would see
Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched
Are we ready? Are we ready?

But you, you think about yourself
Only bout yourself
But what about...

Un-lonely nights
Romantic moments
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

You know me well, You know its wrong
Then what is it you feel?
You hide behind those perfect smiles
It wont fool me, cause you already did

I did it all, all for you
Hoping you could see
Your eyes are dull, your hands are clenched
Are we ready? Are we ready?

But you, you think about yourself
Only bout yourself
But what about...

Un-lonely nights
Romantic moments
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

The perfect dates
The sweetest kisses
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

So whats the point in all of this?
When you will never change
The days have pass,
The weathers changed
Should I be sorry? Should I be sorry?