ok great.. see more spending going

feb: wicked
march: bali trip
june: operations for tonsil removal...

how am i ever going to save up like this.. maybe this june, will go on a cheaper holiday ba.. unless i can find people to go with me to taiwan, else i'm really unable to afford the backpacker rates.

anyway, ipad is really troublesome.. so hard to use.. Zzzz and now i'm reluctant to install itunes haha.. haven't even register an acct.. so troublesome..

android just enter your email and credit card. this one still ones address.. darn..

the downloading of apps is so slow in ipad..ZZzzz and if i navigate out,the download will pause..  irritating.. ipad is for people who cannot multi-task.. well good for my kids,

found some education software that my lesson can use.. now it's about packaging them up for the lesson.. and find the legal apps...

Starting to post lesser things online..

the blog is somehow less used..
but there are often things.. that i want to say, and it's not suitable in facebook.. this is when my blog comes in.. not sure who is reading it anyway, but i find it a safer place to say things and not be judged.

well, this Xmas is more about me, i guess.
when people around be are happy with their loved ones and close friends, i too find myself with my closer friends.

however, unlike the past when i spent efforts thinking of presents(which i did for one clique and i think i'm not doing it anymore lol, when all presents received are just random and seriously, some i felt is just not of any sincerity)
this year's present is more of, mix and match of past souvenirs and items obtained from trips, diaries i found so cute when i was in JB, little toys from Taiwan.. although i felt that giving ferro roche was nice, but it doesn't seems as sincere as those i gave to my friends.

well why is it that this year, it's more about me..
cos i used to spend so much money for my friends, with my friends until i realized... that no matter what i do, friends do go apart... i need to have my own way of satisfaction that i can live happily alone without my friends...

yet i felt it's very materialistics though..

ok let's see, that for this december, what have i spent on.

1) Xmas presents for friends, ~~ $100
(actually i only bought 3 presents. the rest all just from my past items)
2) Taiwan holidays ~~$2000+
3) Ipad 2 ~~~ $800
4) PC speakers ~~$140 (going to buy, if it's in stock)
5) home allowances ~~~$1000 (mom knows my bonus, what to do?)
6) Xmas meals ~~~$150
7) Ah Mei Tic~~~$180
8) May Day tic~~$180
9) Facial products~~$120
i think i've overspent..... haha...
but well, somehow i just think.. at least i didn't spent my money on some friends cause i know nothing will come back, and thus i have no expectations for the friendship..which is not causing stress to anyone of them:)

突然醒来，才发现自己一无所有，一切只是自欺欺人。

我以为我努力活着，就是对自己，对家人，对朋友付责任。

才发现当我堪堪活着时，你已经领先迈向更好的未来。

而我，还在拾起跌碎在地上的自我。

如今看到你，我自形象愧。

我并没有前进，我并没有改变。
唯一改变的是，我更不敢，更不知道怎么去爱。

而你已经找到能长相厮守的另一半了。

This month is full of ups and downs..

well one thing good is that my RT is finally over.
my birthday was not that great, but still touched by the effort of some buddies ard.

a gal frd just broke up with her bf, knew both party as they are in my workplace.

felt sorry for the gal, and in a way. was criticised that all men are the same lol..

but yea.. i mean if u are not suitable for each other, it's better to break up after fail attempts to change for the other.
however, was particularly to be angry with the way the timing od the break up and reasons given. It's hurtly..

then again, despite not being so bastard-ly, it sorta reminds me of how my first relationship ended. I was 24 that time... guess i wasn't mature or i'm also another bastard.

well i got my retribution last year when i put in all my heart for another one and was dumped lol..

hmm.. but well, now i'm enjoying life, and prepare myself for the next one to come. for better or worse, where fate leads..

to my gal friend

Hmm... sometimes i wonder, am i being the anti-social one?

actually now i'm so tired with all the pack work and that's why i rejected the idea..

maybe only when i have a lovw one, then someone will plan a bday celebration for me.

i mean, there use to be people doing that.. but as we all grow up, guess only our loved ones bother to do so.

maybe to many others, bday is just another day..

bur to me, it's a day where i feel special and hopes to have special treatment.

anyway, watever it is.... i shall just move on. life is never the same without the pple i love, but there's only this much it can hurt

seriously

the RT planning is strssing me out...

i cannot book another slot for my RT session and it's really a pain in the ass given the new system..


if they do not allow me to extend.. i think i'll really go crazy...

i'm not going to let this become a psychological problem.

but i dunno how to handle it... i'm very very stress!~!~~~~


worst case: they charge me, and made me restart my RT. which mean whole december holidays gone.

moderate case: they charge me, but extend the RT for me

best case: they did not charge me, and extend my RT..

if it's going to be the worse case.. i think i shall just jump ba... super sian~

down with broncitis. super sian

after 1 day of school, i have 2 days MC..haiz

anyway, sorta glad for this extended holidays but the cough is really coughing up lungs and throat out.

seriously, i'm glad that i can move on happily
despite there's many dispute in cliques and it's really troublesome.

somehow the remaining pple all felt that the clique is collapsing and trying our best to meet up and organise activities.

thankful for people who are truly wanting to be a good friends and really doing that well.

It was quite interesting how things turns out to be.

not very sure if it's going to be a problem but i do wish them all the best.

how to say, the gal was really a good friend, nothing more than that.

the guy is nice, quite nice in fact.
however, he just broke up in a relation and before he ended tht, he actually sms another gal to confess his interest. and now he's with my this gal friend, all in last the a month.

is this ok? somehow i thought this gal friend will be more sensible to only befriend him for the time being before anything else.

well, of course i know they have been constantly msging each other every night. but yet i think it's a bit too fast.

anyway, shall give them my blessing and hope the gal will be happy :)

当你说「想做回原本的自己」,会不会你只是在找藉口,逃避现在的自己?若是怀念想逃就逃想恨就恨的日子,你随时都可以这样做,只要明白这样做的后果,也都会成为你的人生。人生如河,每秒流动,你永远不可能再踩进同样的水裡。每个阶段的你都是你,没有那个传说中「原本的你」啊。

【康永-给残酷社会的善意短信】

我们像电波发射台一样，一次次的发射出爱的讯号，期待收到一点点回应，证明我们不是宇宙中唯一的存在，好给我们自己一个继续在宇宙飘浮下去的理由。只是常常，我们收到的，只是自己的回音而已。。。。【 康永 - 给未知恋人的爱情短信 】

was really frustrated after talking to someone.

i'm so angry that i went to walk a bit after my tuition.

after listening to some sun yen zi songs..
it just think.. how long do i need to walk? alone?

maybe i'm just sick of seeing more and more couples ard me... that's why i avoided some gatherings..

it was tough, cause there's so much good memories shared.

I must learn to accept that this is going to be how my life in the future will be.. probably giving out angbaos to weddings and babies birthday.

I must learn to accept it. that eventually, all those i think are important to me will find someone who is the most important person in their life. then .. i'm phased out.


我望着路，梦的入口有点窄。
我排着队，拿着爱的号码牌。

我寂寞寂寞就好

我听说天上的星星够多, 多到够我们每个人找一颗星, 托付我们小小的名字。 但, 我要一颗那么大的星做什么呢 ? 我宁愿把我的名字, 托付给地球上 另一个小小的名字啊 。。。。。【 康永 ~ 给未知恋人的爱情短信 】

你说你担心，你说你想帮他，那为什么你从不肯过去看他？就因为你​是长辈，所以不能降低自己的身份吗？又没做工，每天泡咖啡店，时​间排不出来吗？
虚伪。

Sometimes, despite in the company with a dozens of colleagues, I still feel lonely.

But then, I'm still thankful for the company.

Jp asked me whether is it because I needed a company.. A gf.

Maybe I should say, what I want is someone who I loved, someone whom I can open my heart to and understand me

cancelled my saturday tuition and slack the whole day.

read my books, painted my painting and watched a movie.

but the slacking is giving me headache.. hmm i wonder is it becaue i really cannot stay at home??

aniway, recently been keeping close contacts with another 2 nie friends. they are really nice people and somehow i feel that we have so many common topics..

but still there are friends that shared my past..
will try to make an effort to maintain the friendship.

it's been 6 weeks into the school.

i'm super tired and on the verge of dozing off as i typed the blog.


work have been tough but manageable.

somwhoq into athe adult world, dreams deems to deather.ZZZZ

really really emo these few days

dunno how come the feeling cannot be kick away..

this work is my dream job,
it gives me my satisfaction i wanted, the pay that i think is reasonable
the friends i trusted.

however, i do not see my future.. not in work, but in relationship.

the circle is already very limited and i have no other means of knowing pple anymore.

i am stuck, i am alone and i most probably be single

i hate being single and hate being constantly reminded of how happy you will be when u find a love one.

i dunno how long this kinda feelings must strike again. damn it.

说了再见还一直望回头
回想着当天分手的镜头

原本说好要一起向前走
结果发现一切已成泡沫

有些话现在还说不出口
我记得你说过有多爱我

现在你已经有了个出口
留我一个人在回忆里，慢慢地守候


as figured out.. i'm emoing again...

friends are forever, but they are not by ur side most of the times..

think... when is the last time u see a friend...
is it 2 days, or 1 week or months ago

yes the friendship is there,
there's memories that can never be eliminated


but were them here now, when u are alone..
when u desperately need someone to hug
can u even hug them?

how often do you feel that i'm in a group,
but i'm alone?

there's definitely a perfect one for u..
but can you live that long to find him or her..

there are stories of people finding the perfect one..
but there's also stories of people who strike a toto became a millionaire.
they are 1 in a million..

and finding the right one is 1 in 600 million...

i see people in their 40s alone..
they seems happy, enjoying life
but how do they feel,
when they are in their room alone at night?


i dunno about others..

but i dun feel good

really concussed this weekend..
haha, had so much fun during the camp
and slept the whole saturday away.

felt so lazy~~~

anyway, finally graduated from N**, no need to take shit from stupid admin! yea!

I feel that it's the worse organization to be in sighz.. look at Taiwan,

CS is the most well respected job over there, but here, pple think of it as shit jobs:(


anyway, i love what I did and the p3 camps reminded me of that! I shall work hard too!

lastly, congrates to all who have graduated!!

to Lai Lai, Shao Zhi, Kiat Li, Wilson , Jasmine, HX and the rest from Kahu!
congratulations!

sometimes i felt very in my cliques of friends.

something happened yesterday among my colleagues.

hmm let's just say that

guy A organised bbq, but he did not plan, too busy to buy food or assign others to do things.

so gal D did all that herself with another gal.

however, gal D was angry the whole day and gives faces, drove recklessly.

then came Guy B, he was unhappy with Gal D being unreasonable, always not voicing the reasons and expect the rest to always be apologizing( so he thought)

so after a while, he went out and went home, without informing anyone.

then gal D i felt lashes out on the rest of us.

somehow i felt that all the common clique i have we this guy B,

pple somehow always took notice of him and cares about him.
then pple love Guy A cos he's really nice and funny.

but with them, i just feel i'm the supporting actor.

i dun need to be the lead, but at least, i dun like to be left out.

outing is so easily conducted without me, but it's always canceled without them. (get it?)

damn.

anyway, thanks CG for adjusting the out, and make me feel that i'm important
( but to all, majority votes count, so if i cannot make it for any outing.. just go ahead if majority can.. )

just 記得問我就好了

School has started..

now must turn my routine back to sleeping before 12.

a bit not really used to afternoon session, feeling that my working days have become longer.
( well first two days of school i already work from 7am to 5:30pm)

anyway, now come to think back, i feel that i might have lose a bit of excitement for the job, having so many different things jump onto me all at once.

can i remember? can i squeeze enough time to do it?
thankfully i have already settle part of the admin and now can concentrate on classroom stuff.. whew.


somehow it's quite contradicting,
when i'm lonely, i do that i can have many things to do, to tired myself out, so that I wun think of relationship.

but when i'm tired, i just hope to go home and see the face of my loved one.

haha, anyway, i guess i've survived well, but looking at the state (so far), I think it's byebye to any relationship!
anyway guess this is the fate of choosing this job.
told myself that i must be attached before work officially starts, else slim chance and liao.
and guess i've gotten myself into the worst ending.

SO much for my happy ending~~

你为爱受苦,就算苦到如行尸走肉,也难以因你一斤的苦,而增对方一丝的甜。对方没有因你受苦而快乐,就没理由觉得亏欠你,也就难有理由想报偿你。很遗憾,你的受苦,难以被感激,只可能遭忽视,遭避讳,遭嫌弃,因为无人因你而获益。所以,苦完必须的量,就让这苦,深埋成人生的矿吧。【康永~给未知恋人的爱情短信】

after hearing this song..

haha i wonder how are all those i loved! but no longer keeping in contact..


to my primary school classmates, Sec school classmates, JC classmates, army buddies, nus friends, friends from outside.. my ex :) how are you all?


很想知道你近況　
我聽人説還不如你對我講　
經過那段遺憾　
請你放心　我變得更加堅強　
世界不管怎樣荒涼　
愛過你就不怕孤單　

我最親愛的　你過的怎麼樣　
沒我的日子　你別來無恙　
依然親愛的　我沒讓你失望　
讓我親一親　像過去一樣　

我想你一定喜歡　
現在的我學會了你最愛的開朗　
想起你的模樣　
有什麼錯　
還不能夠被原諒　
世界不管怎樣荒涼　
愛過你就不怕孤單　

我最親愛的　你過的怎麼樣　
沒我的日子　你別來無恙　
依然親愛的　我沒讓你失望　
讓我親一親　像朋友一樣　

雖然離開了你的時間　
比一起還漫長　
我們總能補償　
因為中間空白的時光　
如果還能分享　
也是一種浪漫　
關係雖然不再一樣　
關心卻怎麼能說斷就斷　

我最親愛的　你過的怎麼樣　
沒我的日子　你別來無恙　
依然親愛的　我沒讓你失望　
讓我親一親　像親人一樣　

我最親愛的　你過的怎麼樣　
沒我的日子　你別來無恙　
依然親愛的　我沒讓你失望　
讓我親一親　像過去一樣

Back from my 8D7N trip.

Actually traveling alone is not that bad.

just that sometimes I dare not sleep or listen to MP3 when on transport,
cos i'm scared that i might miss my stations.

Other than that. another 遺憾 of travelling alone is not having someone to share the beautiful scenery I see along the way. No one to turn around and say.. wow!! this is beautiful.

and lastly, as anticipated, no one to talk to at night.

however.. but I just feel that.. hmm i can do anything i like. decided where to walk, what to do, when to go and what time to rest. totally nothing to control my activities. so yea.. it's complete freedom, which of course, is exchanged by money.

maybe many will think i'm silly... but one day, I will find my love one, and bring her to see the beautiful taiwan that i experienced.

contacts

ok.. this is the first time i'm travelling alone.. all by myself..


as i'm a little scared..

i shall leave all contacts here in case anything happens.. haha choy!!

but still better be safe than sorry..


for sunday to tuesday, i'll be in 墾丁旅店：0926-656242

then from tuesday to thursday, i will go over to 花蓮： 柚子B&B家

after that will be @ taipei-backpackers @ 西門町 (02) 2375-2877


so ya.. haha

終於鼓起勇氣，決定一個人去旅行。

雖然有朋友事後表示不能和我去，十分遺憾。
我倒覺得這是一個好機會。

兩年來的幾趟旅行讓我知道，其實老師的時間，是很難和其他人配合的。
又有幾個人，會為了我而選擇更昂貴的渡假月份呢？

這次，我要獨自旅行，其中我要學習。
學習如何把孤獨變成一種習慣，變成一種態度，變成一種自由。

讓我這次自由地飛吧，翱翔在一個沒有人認識我的城市。

就讓這旅行把心中，那不想被約束的我，解放吧。
就算墮落，就算昇華，
我要找到被這繁忙的城市，
壓在內心深處的自我。

台灣，我來了

seriously..
sometimes i hated myself for being single.

when i was attached, we had so many plans, talks about going overseas together.

then when i'm finally free to go overseas, i'm single.

going overseas is such a dream come true. but i can never find anyone to go.
sick of asking.

i must learn to go alone..

but, i know i'm not strong enough, even at night, to travel by myself..


moreover, the lodging is also on the higher end, where most of the time i might have to stay in a room meant for 2.. paying the price for 2..

not even a short trip can be planned, where people are all so busy.

envious of those attached. they will always have a partner to go overseas with.


anyway, just came back from a gathering..
somehow i hated my occupation as a teacher, can never understand all the terms used in private sector.
trying to listen but lost track along the way.

guess friends are not meant to last long, no matter how close we used to be.
just be happy that can meet up and see how you guys are doing.
i think that's good enough..

其实爱，一点也不难。

是我要求太高了。

（真的吗？）

对，一定是的，如果我不要求，一定很容易就找到爱我的人了。

（这么容易？）

对，现在就有两个人说他们喜欢我，想更一步认识我。

（那还等什么？）

可是他们一个是聋子，一个有小儿麻痹症，右手行动不便。

（如果你不要求什么，这些事情都可以接受啊？）

如果是我的爱人，然后他在恋爱/结婚时遭遇不幸而残疾，我一定会照顾他的。
可是我没法直接对一个（我知道以后会走得很辛苦）人产生爱意。

（那其实你还是有要求的）

难道就因为我胖，我丑，我就应该接受这种命运吗？

（你胖，你丑，有人爱就应该高兴了，还挑什么？）

我从不希望我的另一半长的非常好，有很棒的身材。
我知道自己在这估计外貌的社会中，卑微的地位。
可是我相信我应该得到一个普通的爱人。

（你做梦吧，你经历了那么频繁地拒绝，不就是因为你长得如此不堪吗？
你有权利想要一个正常人，可是在正常人严重，你是不正常的。
你和残疾，抱病的人一样的等级。他们为什么会要你呢？）

haven't start job already feels like taking a break..

nowadays work is becoming more and more demanding.

seriously, i know we are considered high pay. but when you do a working hours comparison, we are actually overworked and underpaid.


anyway was quite unhappy when arrows are shoot to me before i even get posted into the school officially.. wtf.

everyone was a trainee once, why does this trainee have to do more than others?

buff up EPMS my foot.

anyway. deciding on a Taiwan trip..
forcing myself to go.. if no choice.. alone.

finally bought my first Fish Leong Concert Ticket!!!

so happy haha but was a bit disappointed.. somehow i realised it's always so hard to find people to do things together.


such as going for Concerts lol.. hardest to find anyone to go listen with me.. realised pple ard me doesn't really like the same singer as me~~~

the other problem is having no one go overseas with...

thankfully i always managed to find someone,
but i felt that it's more of me persuading pple to go.. or begging.. haiz...

how to say.. there's always talk with different cliques in going overseas.
primary school frds, sec school friends, uni, colleauges..

but somehow i have to start begging pple to go. ZZZZzzzz

maybe the timing is never right..
usually during my holidays, pple are not free or had gone for their holidays le...

this is when i hope to have a partner lol.. or a travel buddy...

finally managed to defer.. giving me so many headache and psychological stress...

actually i dun detest it.. in fact i welcome it.. but why is it at such a bad timing... sigh


seriously in my mind.. i'm prepared for the worst... i can expect what I will do if they reject my application again...

somehow this torment s unbearable.. even now.. i still do not believe i managed to go through.. in my mind.. i still think there will be pple calling me up next few days and rejecting my deferment..

no~~~~ stop coming back to me! i hate you!

super stressed now..


applied for deferment and was rejected.

I am so puzzled why such a valid reason of "that i'm now in my practicum" is not sufficient to support my deferment.

now trapped in between.. super sian..

seriously, I dun mind going back.. in fact I quite like going back.. at least I always have some time at night to do short reading. Can meet up with old friend for a chat and stuff..

but why are they making it so tough?? I am now super stressed over my practicum and all they can say is...

"come on Monday and the person MIGHT agree on the spot..."

wt....

Finally weekend is here!!!

tiring week with sports day on Thursday and another event on friday.

hated the fact that there's so many non-teaching events that is stopping me from completing or even catching up the syllabus.. how~~~

however, am really thankful that i can write lesser plans for the work.. hee.. this weekend must work hard to write a bit more.

still i wanna go out.. no matter how busy i am.. i still wanna get out and enjoy life

Your Personal Day of Death is...

Wednesday, July 3, 2030

Never be dependent on anyone in this world . Because even your shadow leaves you when you’re in the dark.

what's happening.. why am i in such a deep shit lol.


work is really killing me and this is just the beginning...

i wanna sleep for 8 hrs straight instead of 2 hrs, work, then 4 hrs. wth

when you are emo, you do things, go out, enjoy your time so that you are not alone..

but in the end, i'm now alone, empty and physical tired as well...

live a life and be happy.. easier to say.

i just dun feel that my heart have opened to anyone, all that make up of me is a big fat liar.

sometimes i know that pple ard me cares a lot for me.. and i hadn't done enough to pay them back..

bro.. i'm sorry i didnt managed to surprise u or help u get a nice bday gathering. but i still hope u can be happy! forever

really tired... felt that my body mechanism is all messed up.

everyday, came home ard 6, slept till 8plus 10, then work till 1am , then sleep somemore , wake up at 4am to do work...

this stage is really sucky. with lotsa things i also dunno am i supposed to participate but was arrowed to anyway.. well treat it as a learning experience lor..


now all i want is a nice 20 hrs of undisturbed sleep.. but apparently my body is not letting me do so.. sighz...

lesson planning takes up 3-5 hrs a day, and powerpoint slides takes up another 3 hrs.. wanna die..

now a bit regretted not preparing my work enough during the march holidays!!!



just checked my calendar, of i'm still attached, monday would be my 1 yr anniversary..
i wonder when will i ever get to celebrate that lol..

anyway, this month is the bday of 2 very important people in my life. and all i wanna say is Friends forever! bro, you guys are the best!

School restarted..

really dreadful of it haha.

this march holiday is just simple but i suppose, somewhat ok.

went to my Bali Trip, a place i've been thinking of going since Jan. somehow there's always a bit of regret inside. if only i can go with more pple or certain pple. the company was great, but could be fantastic ya?
still i enjoy it very much! first time swimming in a private pool, so dark at night! shiok!
the temples are nice and the weather is blessed, shines when we are out and rained only when we returned.

Tuesday started with leadership camp I decided to go and visit. saw some of my students and i guess i'm really a camp activities person. had fun playing with them. went home later at night.

wednesday till sunday are continuous tuition in the morning..
haha see my kid until i also sianz.

did managed to meet up my BT/CT frds for dinner and KTV! and a good time laughing and singing.
this time i finally remembered to sing my 陈伟联 and ALin's song!!! yea! think i sing ok. happy

friday and saturday met friends for movie, watch I am no.4 on Friday. quite good in my opinion. better than TwiXXXgh. but can be better with graphics.
watched Gnomeo and Juliet, i think the funny part are all those you see in the sneak preview. the rest are not so funny. so a bit disappointed. still it's nice and sweet.

all the other free time.. i was doing my lesson plan. detailed but took me hours to write... wanna cry...

finally writing something in blog..


hmm now in practicum phase.. life wasn't easier in any way,
felt unbalanced with one side being exploited and the other side given unfair treatment.

was a bit disappointed when i heard who's my trainer is.. one of them is well known to be 'lousy' so ya.. hmm had a hard 2.5 weeks, ya.. sensitive topic so shan't say much.

am really happy to manage to meet up with the st gab gang more often.
other than the Amoy street dinner, we also went for Dim Sum @ chinatown and attended Chics wedding dinner together. in just 3 weeks!!! love it!!

of course, on the other hand, didn't managed to meet Kahu Cliques..guess the gathering timing isn't right. always have something on.

finally going for bali trip! been talking about it since Jan.
and to top that up, i gotten myself a Villa!!! yea!!! it's like a dream come true..

damn ex though, but hell, i shall enjoy!!

不想成为隐形人，所以做出一些动作，希望吸引喜欢的人的注意。

我懂～～～可是，真的需要这样吗？

如果我长得不好看，身材不好。我安静地坐在那角落。
你会注意到我吗？

难道，真的要浮夸吗？

F****** Perfect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhWkNF9HH8E

thanks Pink! that was good stuff!! and great MTV

it's been a tiring week
not only there's lotsa work to do and to write, partly my fault for not wanting to sleep

everytime when i decided to sleep by 12, i ended up sleeping ard 3 plus and waiting up ard 7 to rush to school..

why?
i dunno...
there are night were just crazy thots came over...
one night i just went jogging at 1am..
the other night i just met an online friend to meet up and drink beer at my void deck, something i never did before.
then one night i just chatted with a friend till 4am..

i just refused to sleep and i dun wanna stay in the house in a sense..
i hope i can move out one day.. far from it.. but i'm trying.

really make full use of today!! super happy with myself.

went for tuition in the morning, followed by a short walk around Lot 1.

went over to BakerZin for a high tea, love their mango mousse and flat white! think it's quite a good combination:) managed to do some work there, read my notes, did my homework!! yea!!

watch Burlesque!! it's super nice!!! giving it 4.5 out of 5 stars! for the amazing singing by Cher and Christina. the plot is quite ok, typical crow become phoenix story, but the deduction of points come from finding a Britney Spears lookalike for Justin Timblelake fiancée....

went for a 1.5 hr massage at Yew Tee point, super painful.. and after that i dun feel very relaxed.. hmm.. still i had my massage and it's better than before i went in.

cut my hair! no more lines by the side since i'm going to be posted to schools le.
Love short hair and will never keep it long (it doesn't grow long anyway)

so ya! on my way home, i was thinking

坚强的心，成就坚持的人，才能找到坚信的伴侣，得到坚定的爱情。

修身养性，好好爱自己，充实自己，这样在清冷的夜里，即使孤单，也不会寂寞

hmm.. somehow i dun feel bad for not going..

how to say.. there are really pple in the group i missed chatting with.. and if u are reading this blog.. u are definitely one of them..

i dropped my mask some times back and are unable to looked thrilled in meeting up with pple i dun wanna meet. During my uni days, some outings are expected horrible but i still force myself to go for social reasons. but now i rather give it up since there are people inside that i feel disgusted talking/meeting with them.

hmm, think somehow i made the wrong decision in my last yr and it really affects how i look at the place and people whom i once thought were families. And now i graduated, no one cares and i'm left out and well, happy sorta, cos i glad i can see who's genuine and who's not

夜开始长了，寂寞就要吞噬我了.

可是我不想浪费每一个夜晚。

就让我一个人，孤芳自赏。

享受黑的美，夜的静。

我曾不怕一个人，孤枕难眠。

只是尝试过有另一个人陪伴的温暖，

我要如何在一个人度过？


嘿，其实分手不可怕，时间让我能离开你了，

夜晚也没再见到你那曾经温柔的脸孔，

没回忆你那些残酷的话。


只是，现在，我好想有一个人陪，

谁都好，陪我度过即将结束，长长的夜

happy new yr!!!

went to Taiwan for Count down!! damn nice!! haha will post picture soon..

but this song by A-Lin is always played in Taiwan and i think it added emo-ness to my taiwan trip.. making this winter hmm... suits the season