Woke up this morning sorta excited since it’s the last day of work for a while and knew that xmas is just around the corner. I patiently waited for the end of the day to come, hoping that the word of being let out early would come. And finally it did. Yay.
As planned, my colleague was going to head over to my aunt’s house to try to get her sick cat to a shelter. He hasn’t been eating for a few days and didn’t seem to have moved far away from the fridge.
We tried to feed it some specialty food and it was worked! He began eating….slow, but eating. And Nad was awesome, she actually managed to pet the cat and it purred and everything. Things were looking good. And after another half hour, she got the cat sleeping on her lap. We decided that he wasn’t to wild for the vet, so we took him over there to get him checked out. The vet had a look and the prognosis was “I dunno, we need some blood test and xrays”. This would cost about $400 and its money I didn’t have. I wanted to talk to my family about it and of course everyone was unavailable.
As I was in the middle of the phone calls, Nad ran out and told me that the cat just had a stroke! It immediately broke my heart as I know how much my aunt loves this cat and well…its just a horrible thing for a kitty..for anybody. The vet said that it looked bad and one option may be to put him down. Suddenly I was faced with a life or death decision of another life, one that I was not prepared to make. There were so many factors unknown and so many feelings especially since I am a pet owner myself. On one hand, I didn’t want him to suffer and on the other hand I didn’t want to cut his chances too short. Everything happened so fast and it was really really hard. anyways, I decided that we should hold off until I can consult with someone and be confident about what would be best. It was so hard. I know it was just a cat but suddenly a life is put in my hands and I was overwhelmed.
After some discussions, I realized that we should give it a go and do the tests etc to see if it’s s/t reversible. It was a lot of money but it would be ok, I can work it back, what I wouldn’t like is what if…..
Unfortunately, about an hour later, the cat past away. I am sad about it but we tried. I tried. What hurts even more is knowing that my aunt would be even more sadden. I feel sad for a cat that I don’t know and never interacted with til today. He was actually really sweet and tender. And that makes it that much worst.
[Amended. Apparently there is some misinterpretation as it is abit out of context]
Due to all that has happened [not mentioned] around this cat thing, I've gained greater awareness about myself and about life. I realized that I really do care way too much about what others think of me and end up letting what others think interfere or overshadow what I think. As much I heard it before I never understood it and felt it until today. Its really weird. But I got it. I also realize that I have strong views on the relationships with people I am close to….….i have come to realized that right is right, wrong is wrong, people are people, I can’t accommodate everyone and I shouldn’t need to accommodate everyone (even if it's family). Pretty simple yet profound. But the biggest thing of all is that I realized I had a choice and went for what I believed in and although I was scared of the consequences and its implications, I did it anyways. One small step for me, one giant step for my kind. Talk about defying “gravity”.
I have had a lot of drama last couple of weeks and this just tops it off…..is Christmas here yet?
Been a crazy day
There is the biggest deepest badest pot hole ever on the Oak Street Bridge--right lane, northbound, shortly after you get onto the bridge. It's not the most comforting feeling when your car makes the loudest "thunt" sound...feeling yourself sink into the hole....as you are going about 80 km/h...in the pouring rain. scary.
