Your entire life can change....
I never thought I would have to experience the feelings and pain I have had to encounter over the last two weeks. Two weeks ago tomorrow I found out my baby no longer had a heartbeat. I was 18 weeks along with baby number 4, a boy who is now named Finn Cameron Steffensen. I never thought I would have to experience labor and delivery of a stillborn baby. I never thought I would leave a hospital after giving birth and never being able to hold that baby in my arms again. I never thought I would have to page a nurse and tell her that I was ready for her to take my baby to the morgue. I never thought I would have to make a decision on where to bury my child. I never thought I would be picking up my child's death certificate instead of a birth certificate. I never thought I would have to explain death to my 3 older children because their brother died. I never thought I would have to experience this pain.
After we found out Finn no longer had a heartbeat, we made the arrangements to be induced the following morning, July 3, 2013. We arrived at the hospital at 4am and completed paperwork and all that fun stuff. By 8am I recieved my first round of the cervix pill. Contractions began around 10am and by 1230pm I recieved a second dose. We were told that it could take 24+ hours for labor because my body didn't want to be in labor yet and would most likely fight back. Contractions were getting worse around 230pm so I decided to take a nap. Jeff went home to visit with the kids and my friend Mary was in her way to the hospital to sit with me. Mary came around 330 and I woke up with strong contractions. I went to the bathroom and immediately needed to call the nurse for some pain medicine. I told her I had a strong urge to push and she went to check me and baby was in the birth canal. She ran out of the room to page my OB and grab whatever staff she could. Mary texted Jeff and he was on his way. The nurse was gone for about 10 minutes and on the next contraction, at 3:46pm Finn was born. I immediately broke down crying. Giving birth to a baby and not being able to hear him cry was awful. Jeff arrived at the hospital about 10 minutes after I had Finn and he was devastated that he missed it. After they got me all cleaned up and took Finns measurements, we were able to hold him. It was heartbreaking. Finn weighed 1lb 6oz and was 9.25in long.
Monday, July 15, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Mommy Blog Fail!
People wern't kidding when they said multiple children take up all your time! Not to mention I totally forgot I even had a blog until today! I'know I've said this before but I'll say it again: I will start blogging again! Now to try and summerize up an entire year...
Sienna
Sienna girl is in her third trimester of Kindergarten. Kindergarten started off pretty rough for us. I chose a school that was close to us and from the outside, it seemed great. The night before the first day of school was meet the teacher night. Well, she didn't have a teacher. Their was a substitute who had no idea how the school ran, how morning drop off and afternoon pick ups would go. The 3 weeks she was at the school, she had 3-4 different teachers. Not cool. The second week of school Sienna decided she wanted to ride the bus home from school so I got it all set up and orgnaized. Really shouldnt have been that complicated but I got phone calls daily asking if she was riding the bus home that day. They even put her on the wrong bus once. Yep. A 5 year old on the wrong bus. Thank goodness the bus driver was paying attention and realized that she didnt belong on that bus. Needless to say that next week she was enrolled in a differnt school.
Her new school has been great. Its a little farther away but they take things a lot more seriously. She is doing wonderfully and has even won some awards for 1st and 2nd trimester. Sadly she isnt challenged enough at this school. Shes top of her class and getting bored so I have filled out an open enrollment application to a more challenging school for next year. My smart little bug is reading and writing so well. We couldnt be more proud of her.
Jack
Jack is turning into quite the little dude. He is such a boy. He loves his matchbox cars that he keeps in his spiderman backpack. He has a bike in the backyard that he calls his motorcycle/ He plays so well with it. He pretends to pump up its tires and gets gas. He's also really into the movie "Cars" and "Cars 2". We watch them at least once a day. His favorite animals are Lions and Rhinos. We go to the Phoenix Zoo weekly and he loves to see them. He loves his sisters so much and loves to be reminded what a big boy he is. His new favorite thing is to go for rides iin his Jeep. Nope, its not daddys Jeep, its Jacks. He will mmake sure you know that too. Whenever we're out he likes to point out all the trash trucks, cement trucks, tow trucks, fire trucks, ambulences and police cars. When we were in Utah over Thanksgiving, Uncle Kirky let us visit him at the FireHouse and Jack was so overwhelmed being so close to fire trucks. It was so sweet. He is definetly in his terrible two stage. He can be the most loving sweet boy and the next minute he'll rip your head off. It'll pass though. He didnt start talking until about a month after his 2nd birthday. Now he speaks so well and holds such great conversations. Such a smart boy. This upcoming year I'll be looking for a preschool to get him enrolled in after he turns 4. I cant believe how quickly my little boy is growing up.
Zoey
Oh Zoey. This girl has us laughing so hard. She is definetly the family clown. Loves to make people laugh and is always cracking herself up. She is now 14.5 months old. She is walking and climbing on everything! If it can be climbed, she will find a way to do it. She is such a busy girl, never sitting in one place for more than a minute. She is a fantastic eater which has been a bit of a struggle because we found out she cant eat anything with gluten in it. Its both a challenge and expensive but we make do. Zoey is quite the little girly girl princess. She loves looking pretty and loves getting praise. She hates dirty diapers and loves clean ones. She's still wearing cloth diapers and still breastfeeding which has been fantastic! She is such the angel in our lives and couldnt picture things without her.
Sienna
Sienna girl is in her third trimester of Kindergarten. Kindergarten started off pretty rough for us. I chose a school that was close to us and from the outside, it seemed great. The night before the first day of school was meet the teacher night. Well, she didn't have a teacher. Their was a substitute who had no idea how the school ran, how morning drop off and afternoon pick ups would go. The 3 weeks she was at the school, she had 3-4 different teachers. Not cool. The second week of school Sienna decided she wanted to ride the bus home from school so I got it all set up and orgnaized. Really shouldnt have been that complicated but I got phone calls daily asking if she was riding the bus home that day. They even put her on the wrong bus once. Yep. A 5 year old on the wrong bus. Thank goodness the bus driver was paying attention and realized that she didnt belong on that bus. Needless to say that next week she was enrolled in a differnt school.
Her new school has been great. Its a little farther away but they take things a lot more seriously. She is doing wonderfully and has even won some awards for 1st and 2nd trimester. Sadly she isnt challenged enough at this school. Shes top of her class and getting bored so I have filled out an open enrollment application to a more challenging school for next year. My smart little bug is reading and writing so well. We couldnt be more proud of her.
Jack is turning into quite the little dude. He is such a boy. He loves his matchbox cars that he keeps in his spiderman backpack. He has a bike in the backyard that he calls his motorcycle/ He plays so well with it. He pretends to pump up its tires and gets gas. He's also really into the movie "Cars" and "Cars 2". We watch them at least once a day. His favorite animals are Lions and Rhinos. We go to the Phoenix Zoo weekly and he loves to see them. He loves his sisters so much and loves to be reminded what a big boy he is. His new favorite thing is to go for rides iin his Jeep. Nope, its not daddys Jeep, its Jacks. He will mmake sure you know that too. Whenever we're out he likes to point out all the trash trucks, cement trucks, tow trucks, fire trucks, ambulences and police cars. When we were in Utah over Thanksgiving, Uncle Kirky let us visit him at the FireHouse and Jack was so overwhelmed being so close to fire trucks. It was so sweet. He is definetly in his terrible two stage. He can be the most loving sweet boy and the next minute he'll rip your head off. It'll pass though. He didnt start talking until about a month after his 2nd birthday. Now he speaks so well and holds such great conversations. Such a smart boy. This upcoming year I'll be looking for a preschool to get him enrolled in after he turns 4. I cant believe how quickly my little boy is growing up.
Oh Zoey. This girl has us laughing so hard. She is definetly the family clown. Loves to make people laugh and is always cracking herself up. She is now 14.5 months old. She is walking and climbing on everything! If it can be climbed, she will find a way to do it. She is such a busy girl, never sitting in one place for more than a minute. She is a fantastic eater which has been a bit of a struggle because we found out she cant eat anything with gluten in it. Its both a challenge and expensive but we make do. Zoey is quite the little girly girl princess. She loves looking pretty and loves getting praise. She hates dirty diapers and loves clean ones. She's still wearing cloth diapers and still breastfeeding which has been fantastic! She is such the angel in our lives and couldnt picture things without her.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Blog?
I cannot believe how insane life is with three kids! I never get a moment to myself yet I love it! They sure do keep me on my toes.
Sienna girl is becoming such a little lady. She'll be 5 in a few months. She promised me that when she's 5, we can get her haircut. We'll see how that goes. She is still loving preschool. She has been home for 2 weeks now. One week was Spring Break and then this week she has been sick. She (and I) cannot wait until Monday when she can go back. We got her all registered for Kindergarten next year. I had two schools I was debating on but one of the office staffs were friendlier than the other so I went with that one. Its called Kenilworth Elementary and it has pillars!!!! Its an old historic building and looks so cool. She is loving our new home (I'll get to that story later on). There is a huge backyard with a swingset. She and Jack play for hours on it.
As for us as a family, we moved earlier this month. We made the decision to move closer to Jeffs work. We found an adorable historic home in downtown Phoenix and are LOVING it! Its so wonderful to be so close to Jeffs work. And we are so close to museums and a light rail and so much cultural stuff for the kids. Plus there is a little amusement park in walking distance to the house.
Jack.... Oh Jack. He is seriously the FUNNIEST kid ever and he's not even talking yet. He sure does get his point across with all his points and grunts. We have quite the busy week together. Monday is our grocery shopping day so we drop Sienna off at school and do our grocery shopping. Tuesdays we have playgroup at the Peoria Library. He has so much fun. He's more of a "sit back and observe" type of kid but he's starting to get more involved. On Wednesdays we go over to our friends house and have a little playdate. Addison is 1 day younger than Jack so its pretty fun. He is starting to talk more. He now says Mamamama, Dadadadada, baby and uh oh on a regular basis. He has said a few more words but only once or twice. He is such a good boy and loves being a big boy helper. He is just now starting to show some interest in the potty so we may be starting potty training here in the near future.
Zoey. My sweet little Zoey. Look up mommas girl in the dictionary and there will be a picture of Zoey. She is the sweetest little girl and just the best baby. She is sleeping 11-13 hours at night and takes around a 4 hour nap during the day. She is exclusively breastfed which I am extremely proud of! The longest I have gone. She is 12 weeks now and will be turning 3 months on April 3rd. We had her blessed earlier this month and she looked like an angel. Full of smiles. Her smile is the most beautiful I have ever seen.Yes, it has brought me to tears once. lol. I love this little girl more than I can say and cannot imagine our lives without this angel. Our family really feels complete now with her here. Milestones. She is rolling over from her tummy to her back. She smiles all the time and recognizes faces and voices. She laughs a lot too. She just sucks in air. Its the cutest thing ever!!
We have a new addition to the family as well. A German Shepard puppy. We named him Severus Snape. Yes, after the Harry Potter character. We were told when we got him that he was 12 weeks. Well when I took him this past week to get his shots, they informed me that he is only 12 weeks now.... So he is quite the baby. Yes, he and Zoey are the same age. lol.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Zoey Claire
Okay, 5 weeks later I'm finally ready to re-live her birth! So it wasn't that bad....
The week before I was scheduled to be induced with little Miss Zoey, I went to my 38 week appointment. The morning of I really wasnt feeling well. I was light headed and dizzy. When I got called into the room the nurse took my BP and it was high. Like really high. The Dr sent me over for an ultrasound to do a NST to make sure Zoey was ready just in case I needed to be induced sooner. It took the tech forever to get Zoeys breathing counts but she finally got them. Then I was sent over to L&D to be monitored for my BP. I was there for about an hour and a half and my BP stabilized so they sent me home and told me to make another appt for the next day with my dr. So Thursday afternoon, I went back to the dr and again my BP was high. They had me rest lay down and they took it again. Still high. Was sent for another ultrasound and then back over to L&D. Dr Folkestad came over and talked to us and we agreed to go home and come back on Monday for another appt. I was told to stay off my feet the entire weekend. Monday I went to my appt and he said we were all set for induction that night. He said I would for sure get a call because I was now high risk with my blood pressure. Monday night came and went and NO CALL!! I was so mad! I called my dr and left a message asking what I should do.
About 30 min after that at 8:50am, I got a call from the hospital asking where I was. I told her I never got a call but I could be there in about 30-45 min.
9:45am- I got checked into my room
10:30am- I had my IV placed. She tried to put it in my left forearm and couldnt find the vein. I got really hot and dizzy and threw up. She finally got it placed in my hand. Much better.
11am- Dr Folkestad checked me and I was 4cm dilated.
11:15am- My water was broken and pitocin was started.
1pm- Contractions were very strong! I called for my epidural.
2:30pm- My first epidural was placed and I was 5cm. The epidural did not work at all. I was in tears and in so much pain. I asked for them to redo it.
3:45pm- The second epidural was placed and I got instant relief. I was still at 5cm. The nurse placed an oblong ball between my legs and had me lay on my side. After 15 min she switched me to the other side and I was feeling TONS of pressure but the nurse kinda wrote it off as the epidural still trying to work.
4:30pm- The nurse finally checked me and I was fully dilated. Dr Folkestad came in right at that moment and had me start pushing. I wish he would've let Zoey make her way down a little more but oh well.
5:39pm- A little over an hour of pushing, Miss Zoey Claire made her way into the world at 8lbs1oz and 21 inches long. The longest of my babies. She was absolutely beautiful with a full head of thick dark hair.
The week before I was scheduled to be induced with little Miss Zoey, I went to my 38 week appointment. The morning of I really wasnt feeling well. I was light headed and dizzy. When I got called into the room the nurse took my BP and it was high. Like really high. The Dr sent me over for an ultrasound to do a NST to make sure Zoey was ready just in case I needed to be induced sooner. It took the tech forever to get Zoeys breathing counts but she finally got them. Then I was sent over to L&D to be monitored for my BP. I was there for about an hour and a half and my BP stabilized so they sent me home and told me to make another appt for the next day with my dr. So Thursday afternoon, I went back to the dr and again my BP was high. They had me rest lay down and they took it again. Still high. Was sent for another ultrasound and then back over to L&D. Dr Folkestad came over and talked to us and we agreed to go home and come back on Monday for another appt. I was told to stay off my feet the entire weekend. Monday I went to my appt and he said we were all set for induction that night. He said I would for sure get a call because I was now high risk with my blood pressure. Monday night came and went and NO CALL!! I was so mad! I called my dr and left a message asking what I should do.
About 30 min after that at 8:50am, I got a call from the hospital asking where I was. I told her I never got a call but I could be there in about 30-45 min.
9:45am- I got checked into my room
10:30am- I had my IV placed. She tried to put it in my left forearm and couldnt find the vein. I got really hot and dizzy and threw up. She finally got it placed in my hand. Much better.
11am- Dr Folkestad checked me and I was 4cm dilated.
11:15am- My water was broken and pitocin was started.
1pm- Contractions were very strong! I called for my epidural.
2:30pm- My first epidural was placed and I was 5cm. The epidural did not work at all. I was in tears and in so much pain. I asked for them to redo it.
3:45pm- The second epidural was placed and I got instant relief. I was still at 5cm. The nurse placed an oblong ball between my legs and had me lay on my side. After 15 min she switched me to the other side and I was feeling TONS of pressure but the nurse kinda wrote it off as the epidural still trying to work.
4:30pm- The nurse finally checked me and I was fully dilated. Dr Folkestad came in right at that moment and had me start pushing. I wish he would've let Zoey make her way down a little more but oh well.
5:39pm- A little over an hour of pushing, Miss Zoey Claire made her way into the world at 8lbs1oz and 21 inches long. The longest of my babies. She was absolutely beautiful with a full head of thick dark hair.
We got into our recovery room around 7pm Tuesday night. It went pretty smoothly. Our nurses kept saying I was the easiest patient ever! No pain meds or nothing. We were able to leave Wednesday night around 8pm. I was so excited to go home. I couldnt wait!
Friday, December 9, 2011
Some new updates
Thanksgiving was great! Jeff and I prepared the turkey, made the rolls from scratch and made the mashed potatos and gravy. Shane and Jamie provided the green bean casserole, stuffing and sweet potatos. Oh my goodness those sweet potatos were DELISH!!!
Every year we always did the same routine because mom was always the one cooking. This year we decided to forgo the turkey oven and found this amazing recipe and cooked it in the regular oven! It was the most moist turkey I think I have ever had. Everything just turned out really well.
The weekend after Thanksgiving, we decided to paint the "red room" brown. The red room was originally Jacks but we decided to switch the kids so Sienna would have the bigger closet. I think they both love their new rooms. We got Sienna a 4-cube organizer with 2 light pink and 2 brown canvas totes to keep some toys in. For Christmas, Jeff and I got her the most adorable brown and pink mod dot bedding.
The Sunday before Thanksgiving, Jack got his first haircut. He did so well and the pictures were just priceless!
Every year we always did the same routine because mom was always the one cooking. This year we decided to forgo the turkey oven and found this amazing recipe and cooked it in the regular oven! It was the most moist turkey I think I have ever had. Everything just turned out really well.
The weekend after Thanksgiving, we decided to paint the "red room" brown. The red room was originally Jacks but we decided to switch the kids so Sienna would have the bigger closet. I think they both love their new rooms. We got Sienna a 4-cube organizer with 2 light pink and 2 brown canvas totes to keep some toys in. For Christmas, Jeff and I got her the most adorable brown and pink mod dot bedding.
The Sunday before Thanksgiving, Jack got his first haircut. He did so well and the pictures were just priceless!
Jack is really becoming such a little man with his likes and dislikes. He is really into the sky and airplanes. When we're outside at night he'll just stare up at the moon and during the day he searches the sky for airplanes and points them out when he finds them. We bought him a toddler big boy bed a few weeks ago so we could get him ready for when Zoey is here and is sleeping in the crib. He's doing really well with it. I think he likes being a bog boy.
Things are coming right along for baby Zoey. We have almost all we need for her. Im finishing up her bumper for her crib today and I am so excited at how its turning out. I made the cribskirt too so I will have to post a picture when Im completely done. Dr said she is still high, swimming around and not engaged. I was having some pretty strong contractions yesterday from around 5pm-midnight so Im hoping that made some progress! We're scheduling her induction on Wednesday for the week of Jan 2nd so if shes not here by then, then I'll be getting induced. I am so excited to get this little girl out into the world!
Last Sunday we went to a friends birthday party for his 1 year old daughter. They had a Shetland pony come for all the kids to ride! It was really cool!
Friday, October 14, 2011
Crafty Crafty ME!!
So far with this pregnancy I have had ZERO energy. Like at all. So a few weeks ago I got my nesting bug. Unfortunately (yes unfortunately cause this house is a mess) its not a cleaning nesting bug. Its a crafting bug. Its been so great the past two weeks! I made some great crafts and I'm even selling some to some other Mommy's who I've met online. This is what I've been doing...
These are some Halloween blocks. They are made out of a 2x4
This is a car seat canopy I made for the new baby. I'm totally addicted to making these and I already have 3 confirmed orders and about 7 more thinking about it!!
On another note, we FINALLY came up with a name for the baby. Drum roll please................
ZOEY CLAIRE STEFFENSEN
You have no idea how excited I am to finally put a name to the baby growing in my tummy. I suggested Zoey to Jeff on Sunday and he said he liked it. I couldn't get it out of my mind so I texted him about it and he told me to start looking for a middle name! Yay!!!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
I'm having a rough couple of days. The farther I get into this pregnancy the more I realize how much I'm alone. My sister-in-law posted some new pictures of my nieces and it kills me to be so far away from them. I want them all around for one of my births and I really don't think that will ever happen. I want to live where its pretty. I'm tired of rock, of gravel, of brown, of cactus, of heat. I want a change and my husband doesn't. I just feel so stuck with life right now. There is so much I want to do, so much I want to craft but I can't find any of my craft supplies because after a year, we are still living out of boxes. I want a house of my own. A house that I want to clean and a house that I want to decorate. I want my children to grow up in their house. Yet none of that seems possible. I hate this economy. I hate the fact that no matter how much we save, we can never get ahead. I hate that my husband works around the clock and we still struggle financially. I hate that I cant help out. I feel like he is working so hard so that I am able to stay home. I hope our break comes soon. I'm exhausted.
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