An Oldhammer Reader: The Fabulous Riverboat

Continuing our voyage of discovery down the great river, we get to the second part of Philip José Farmers Riverworld saga - The Fabulous Riverboat (1971). I don't know about you but the title makes me think the novel is going to be a cross between It Aint Half Hot Mum, Pricilla Queen of the Desert and Love Boat, maybe a gay romance novel set in the deep south with show-tunes. It isn't much like that at all. Although there is a boat.

First Edition cover by Richard Powers

Richard Powers cover for TYSBG

I like these covers a lot, much better than the cruddy 1990s cover I own.  Powers covers hang between an early Ian Miller and Dave McKean assemblage, echoes of constructivism. Nice stuff, and a slight departure from the usual sci-fi psychedelica Powers is known for.  If I were to hunt down editions, rather than just pick them up randomly, these would be they.

What we do have is the continuation of the progress of humanity as set up in To Your Scattered Bodies Go (see here).  Having started to settle in a little, humanity starts to organise itself into geographically tied social groups, and following old habits, something like nations begin to form. In this Farmer is probably (and quite depressingly) accurate in his depiction of human nature. Even when freed from history, consequence and responsibility, people still seem to refuse rugged individualism.

This time around, Farmer rolls 1D6 times on the D100 Random Character From History Table, and writes us a novel featuring Sam Clemens (aka Mark Twain), Eric Bloodaxe, Joe Miller (an enormous caveman), King John, Cyrano de Bergerac and a nation of Black Separatists.

The racial tension theme runs quite strongly through the second half of the novel, with key characters having living through or just after the American Apartheid and segregation, and still thinking in Earth-terms about white oppression and race relations.  Sam Clemens is forced to confront his use of the word Nigger, whilst simultaneously explaining that Huckleberry Finn is pretty much anti-racist, and the book can't be read any more so can't actually matter. All good stuff.

The first half is much more about the comedy Vikings and establishing Sam as a rabid technologist who just wants to build a damn boat to get to the source of The River, but having to deal with treacherous heavies like King John to get the job done. Having influence with the Ethicals (as the entities running the Riverworld Experiment are known), an iron-bearing meteorite is brought down to help in his quest, iron being used to build the steam-ship. Indeed most of the novel is about the problems of getting the ship built, alongside developing black-powder weapons.

More thoughts on Gaming Riverworld

A hex based wargaming campaign. The technological development of the Riverboat is very much like building dev / arms race in a RTS. There's a kind of ur-Cold War, ideological driven thing waiting to be shaped. Perhaps something like Imperialism in Space meets Cosmic Encounter. Resources, exploration, empire building, diplomacy...

Never miss an opportunity to shoehorn in some great
1980's John Blanche artwork

The reincarnation effect could be a different take on multiple lives inherent in videogames.  A Riverworldian MMORPG would have interesting repercussions for guilds and the suchlike, but  perhaps more suited to Roguelike or solo dungeoncrawl / exploration game where death simply removes the players avatar to another part of the labyrinth or landscape, robbing him of all equipment, followers and henchmen, as well as confusing the players sense of place. I don't know of any game that uses a  random-character-respawn-location mechanic as a reward for character death, but perhaps there is one.

The Oldhammer Consequences

So what of the Fabulous Riverboats impact on early Warhammer?

The Magnificent Sven

Whilst we don't actually get to see much river-action in the Fabulous Riverboat by now I'm pretty much convinced that the motley crew of mismatched characters taken from wildly disparate fantasy cultures in Sven, is inspired by, if not straight-forwardly based on the groups of wildly disparate historical cultures in The Riverworld sequence.  It's tempting to think of Warhammers Lustria, or indeed the whole of the Known World as an example of the ideologically and racially discreet nations that some of the Riverworldians seem keen on founding. A kind of identity politics writ large.

Then there's the boat "The Not For Hire" and the boat "The Voltsvagen" - there's no need for a steam-powered paddle-boat to turn up along the rivers of Lustria, why not a simple medieval-level boat or a pre-colonial floatila? The specific appearance of an anachronistic steam paddler is far too much of a coincidence to not be a direct lift.

Punhammer shock

Meteor Technology

I'm sure there are other fictional examples of meteors landing and giving a technological boost to its finders. If it's not a well worn trope, it should be. Riverworld gets its iron, and the Warhammer World gets its Warpstone from large meteoric deposits. In fact there definitely are precursors in the magico-religious meteor in Abrahamic religions but that's a path to take another time.

Anarchonistic Technology

From the First Citadel Journal's "Warhammer and Sci-Fi", throwing guns into the Warhammer mix right there in first edition. I don't think it's really a coincidence that Riverworlds motifs of a stranded alien (who turns up on the banks of a river no less) and impact of blackpowder technologies within an otherwise 'primitive' technological framework and The Legend of Kremlo. In parallel with the Steamboat, there are also the development of small aircraft in the guise of gliders. Indeed if one thinks about it really hard, preferably while staring into the bottom of a pint of Guinness, Warhammer 40k's gothic-sci-fi is a reasonably neat depiction of the end-game of Riverworldian human cultural-technological advancement, but then I said that last time too.


Of course, our Oldhammerish voyage to the  Riverworld does not end here, but continues with The Dark Design. Which almost predictably contains a character which one review calls "a stereotype of the militant lesbian feminist of the 1970s".

Yeah... get in!

amazons: lesbian feminist separatists

An Oldhammer Reader: To Your Scattered Bodies Go

To Your Scattered Bodies Go is a  1971, Hugo Award Winning novel by science-fiction author Philip José Farmer and the inaugural  book of the Riverworld series (composed in the main from 1965 -1980. The novel was mentioned by Rick Priestly as one of the formative fantasy works that fuelled early Warhammer and was an especial favourite of co-creator Richard Halliwell. So what is it all about then?

The central premise of the novel is that every human being who ever lived suddenly wakes up one day along the banks of a huge planet-encircling river in a perfectly capable fit and able body. Everyone from primitive Neanderthals to the moderns of 1984  when the world ended. The reborn are totally bald, naked and strapped to a metal canister which they quickly learn provides food, alcohol, cigarettes and psychoactive chewing gum three times a day, every day when plugged into a giant stone mushroom. Death on Riverworld simply means being reincarnated somewhere downstream, loosing from any material or social ties that might have been made, but keeping memories intact.

From this core concept, Farmer explores various ideas about how people from different eras and cultures cope with their new form of existence. As new societies form and fall apart, the denizens of Riverworld alternately cling to and abandon the social moires, attitudes and relationships of their previous lives in the context of their new surroundings.

This is all wrapped up in an adventure story, following the exploits of Sir Richard Francis Burton, who according to Wikipedia was a British explorer, geographer, translator, writer, soldier, orientalist, cartographer, ethnologist, spy, linguist, poet, fencer, and diplomat. In many ways the ideal candidate for a hero in the new world of mixed up people. It's clear Farmer is indulging his fascination for the character. We also follow the redemption of his arch enemy - Hermann Göring as he finds his way to becoming a decent human being through a self directed form of psycho-chemical and suicide-reincarnation therapy.

There is also the question of the Ethicals - the shadowy beings who caused the resurrection, what motives they might have are only guessed at, and the philosophical void of not having those great answeres questioned, despite life-after-death looms large.

Overall To Your Scattered Bodies Go  is a fast-paced enjoyable read, combined with a novel social science fiction backdrop. Yeah, worth reading.

Gaming Riverworld

Reading To Your Scattered Bodies Go constantly raises the question what if? Farmer concentrates on a few characters who he finds interesting and flings them into high adventure, in some ways it is like reading fan fiction for Sir Francis Burton.  But what of the millions of other Terrestrials awakened? What happened to the likes of Isambard Kingdom Brunel,  Emmeline Pankhurst, Pablo Picasso, Matthew Hopkins or Ada Lovelace?

Exploring such unwritten adventures cries out for a rules-light RPG, storytelling game, maybe in the form of a matrix game Each player simply choses a historical character, researches them, and then relates what they do and how they behave within the confines of the Riverworld, giving thought to:

• How does their material reincarnation effect their religious and philosophical views?
• How prepared are they for a primitive lifestyle?
• What motivates them once all lifes needs are provided for? 
• What does having a 'second chance' mean to them? 
• What do they seek to reclaim from their previous life?
• What social moires do they hold on to?
• How do they operate without technology, culture or society?
• What relationships, conflicts, friendships, rivalries are formed with the other characters in the group.

A kind of exercise in post-New Age Blavatskian past-life regression therapy, where players are free to personally relate to famous (or not so famous) historical figures on a personal level, without needing to carry the spiritualist baggage and mumbo jumbo. Perhaps a thought-experiment in social determinism once Maslows hierarchy of needs has been thoroughly up-ended, or a creative writing exercise in understanding that different societies produce different attitudes, plenty of meat for a story-game.

There is a Riverworld supplement for GURPS, but it appears (as it should) to go beyond the first book in the series, and I haven't read it, so I'll leave off saying anything only leaving a brief mention for completions sake.

In terms of wargaming, there are a wide number of varying humans (and one alien), but their weaponry and armour are all roughly stone or bamboo. Farmer has many tribal conflicts and slave revolts. Various coracles, rafts, canoes longboats might take a major role as the River takes a central theme.


What's all this got to do with Oldhammer?

On Riverworld people wake up bald and naked, then proceed to arm themselves with primitive, stone age weapons.

Slann Slave Warriors | Tony Ackland (? 1983?)

I don't know about you, but I've sometimes wondered why Slann human slave warriors are naked, bald and armed with primitive, stone age weapons. The pot-bellies don't come into it tho' as Farmer has everyone reincarnate at peak physical fitness, oh and the loincloths? Well halfway through To Your Scattered Bodies Go Farmer suddenly has everyone wake up with towels, from which many people make clothes. It turns out Riverworld froods really know where their towels are.

The titular hero of Kremlo the Slann from The First Citadel Compendium has shades of Farmers single alien, Monat Grrautut - a strange, unfroglike humanoid alien who was on earth at the time of humanities end (and may well have helped cause it) who provides a Mr. Spock-like distance and logical interpretation to the events.

The Legend of Kremlo the Slann
First Citadel Compendium | John Blanche (1983)

But unlike Kremlo the Slann Monat Grrautut is the last of his kind, ressurected with the Terrestrials on Riverworld, but the rest of his folk on some distant planet. It's unlikely, but not impossible that they make a return later in the series and prove to be the shadowy beings known as the Ethicals who seem to be running the show, but I don't think so.

But more than these slight concurrences, To Your Scattered Bodies Go posits a world where people from historically different cultures conflict and collaborate with each other within the same geographical area.   In Riverworld reincarnated Nazis and Roman Emperors set up slave-empires that fight against their neighbours, whilst in Warhammer Known World in it's earliest conception Renaissance Germany sits next to Late Medieval France and Migration Era Norsemen. The idea of historically based human cultural forms appearing out of context, within a technologically uniform state, albeit advanced from Riverworlds primitive one,  ressurects itself much later in the development of  Warhammer, with 40k and its North American Indian Dark Angels (re: Deathwing),  Mongolian White Scars,  Nordic Space Wolves, Roman Ultramarines, British 1800s Praetorian Guard, American 1960s Catchan Jungle Fighters, German 1940s Death Korps of Krieg etc. ad nauseum.

As mentioned To Your Scattered Bodies Go is only the first in the Riverworld sequence. The second part, The Fabulous Riverboat  features a miss-matched band of adventurers, a tribe of vikings and going upriver on a paddle steamer. Hmm, wonder where I might have heard that idea before...

The Magnificent Sven. John Blanche (1984)

Heroines for Warmongers

Citadel Orcs, marching to war under the baleful visage of Baroness Thatcher - the Iron Lady.

Margaret Thatcher's head on a Citadel Orc Banner

The Iron Lady, on a banner for Orcs of the White Hand - slaves to Saruman, the evil wizard from Lord of the Rings who lives in Isengard, the Iron Fortress. Painted by then Citadel staff painter Colin Dixon and first appearing in White Dwarf 81 (September 1986), although the photograph above is a different source.

Was there satirical or even political intention in the image? Tried to email Colin to ask, but just got an automated bounce-back, maybe he's gone undercover. Even without intention, the alignment (pun intended) of the then Prime Minister with forces of inhuman evil, may certainly be read as an anti-establishment message, if not an overtly political one. It wouldn't have been the only British fantasy institution to do so at the time, just ask Sylvester McCoy or pick up any copy of 2000AD from the period. Of course, M. Thatcher would go on to win the 1987 election and hold a 3rd Parliment, one assumes voted in by a legion of olive skinned goblinoids, and she becomes an immortal footnote to the Warhammer universe as Empress Margaritha in WFRPs The Enemy Within campaign - surely a deeply cherished accolade.

I have a hazy mental image of a Dwarven banner depicting Arthur Scargill (Trade Unionist and leader of the National Union of Mineworkers in the 1980s) on it, but can't seem to find a source. Perhaps it was Neil Kinnock (leader of the opposition, later vice-president of the European Commission). Maybe it doesn't exist at all but comes from a parallel universe where the editorial jurisdictions of Ians Hislop and Livingstone became strangely merged - 1986 being the year that Hislop took over the editorial reigns of Private Eye, and Ian Livingstone stepped down as the editor-in-chief of White Dwarf...

And speaking of bizarre conglomerates, fast forward to the year 2012 to a more politically apathetic Britain, where people riot on the streets against ennui and radicalists after social reform go urban camping and produce a nice little book explaining economic terms in a slightly less clear nd more fluffy manner than a GCSE text, while extolling the virtues of Waitrose. Apathy and weariness abound, the land of Albion is double-headed up by the unholy alliance of a Conservative and Liberal coalition. And Games Workshop subsidiary Forgeworld give us this beautiful Curs'd Ettin sculpted by Edgar Skomorowski.

Nick Clegg and David Cameron:
AKA the Dick Cleggeron

The Curs’d Ettin can be easily identified by its singular deformities and cruel intellect.
They are born, so it is said, of an ancient treachery against the Dark Gods themselves.

The Conservative Party, led by David Cameron: 306 seats
The Liberal Democrats, led by Nick Clegg: 57 seats

Special rule: Two-headed: The Curs’d Ettin has two distinct personalities
which war for dominance and control.

"safeguarding national security, supporting our troops abroad, tackling the debt crisis, repairing our broken political system and building a stronger society" - Cameron
  "bold, reforming government that puts fairness back into Britain" - Clegg

Option: Gibberer: One of the Curs’d Ettin’s heads has devolved into infantile imbecility,
drooling and wailing constantly.

Coincidence? Probably.

Its hard to imagine a stock-market traded toy company even making the slightest political jest. Yet lurking behind the layers of grim-dark there may be a flicker of social consciousness going on, a little bit of intentional satire gnawing at the edges of the entertainment brand.

 The Cleggeron is available from Forgeworld for about £40 . I'm quite tempted to get one and paint it up,  in Braveheart-like entirely pseudohistorical woad patterns one head Conservative blue, the other Liberal yellow and set him against some LE8 McDeath's Crazed Caledonian Commandos to 'gamify' the impending Scottish referendum "Yooo can toss oor cabers, but yoo will nae tek oor freeedom!". 

The Dick Cleggeron
Originally painted by John Blanche (Via)
Party Political Warpaint photoshopped on by me.

Maggie was no stranger to fantastical portrayals, and seeing how we like ladies (or Baronesses) in armour around here:

Sunday Times Magazine cover (21 April 1980)

Saint Celestine | Games Workshop

I shall leave those images silently hanging, in a John Berger-esque manner, and return to the theme another time.

Moving swiftly on, the source of the Orc Thatcher banner:

Heroes for Wargames | Hardback | Paper Tiger | 1986

Heroes for Wargames (1986), penned by then head-of-sales at GW Stewart Parkinson and published by Paper Tiger. If you don't already have this book, you really, really should get it. It's awesome. Not convinced? Here's some more dodgy camera-phone snaps:

John Blanche: triple headed Minotaur

There is a tonne of old lead painted up and on parade in this book, Chaos Dwarfs,  normal Dwarves, Skaven, Judge Dredd, Eternal Champion, Beastmen, Chaos Warriors ...the list goes on... the book, being published in 1986 kind of straddles two eras, one the era of Chalk and Devers Tabletop Heroes and solid-based citadel, and the other, the era of 'eavy Metal and slotta-bases.

John Blanche: Cthulhu Inferno

Several full-page John Blanche pieces, including Dwarf Lord of Legend box art, Zombie Dragon, McDeath booklet cover,  as well as black and white concept art for Slann (titled "Demon Frogmen" - nice), Chaos Warriors, Knights of Law, Orcs, as well as other black and white pieces by Dave Andrews (some Lichemaster, some others) and other concept art from Tony Ackland and a few from Jes Goodwin, all on crisp white semi-gloss paper that reproduces them beautifully...

John Blanche | Slann and Orc concept sheets

Dave Andrews "Underground Maze of Death"

A fair few dioramas,  a couple of battle scenes (skaven, skeletons, disciples of the red redemption -all around Dave Andrews cardboard buildings  - appeared in Ravening Hordes I think) and some others I'd never seen before. There's some photos of the lads work-benches and some over-the shoulder shots of them pretending to work. The Mad Max poster seems very popular...

Dungeon punk orc, Lord of the Rings Goblin

To be honest, there are about only 14 pages out of the 128 that just seems like filler - black and white photos of miniatures - granted they are sharper photos than the Citadel Compendium images, but they pale in comparison to the artwork and painted miniatures. And the text is a bit basic - explaining what RPGs and Wargames are about, and covering the basics of painting and how models are made - the 'eavy Metal articles from the same period are much more enlightening on that front, but the images here are generally much better quality and larger, and the glossy art stock really helps them sing. The heavy use of chiaroscuro means the figures shapes aren't as clear as they could be - it's evident that the 'art' being referred to is the tradition of oil-painting, rather than say, sculpture. The only other critisism - for a coffee-table book about 'the art of fantasy miniatures', neither the sculptors nor the painters for the individual figures are credited, which his a bit of an oversight. Still, every page raises a smile, and is probably the nicest, most old-school book on Citadel you can get.

Get it at Amazon: Heroes for Wargames .there are a few copies for under a tenner - well worth it methinks. The over £50 probably best left on the shelf. Also ebay.

Destiny Quest 1: The Shadow Legion

Destiny Quest is that rarest of rare things, a new gamebook. Penned by Michael J. Ward published by Matador. Combat is very Fighting Fantasy, with Speed instead of Skill, then variable damage by dice-roll, modified by equipment with an armour factor reducing it.  However, after a combat your health/stamina/hit-points return to full, and the rules state that if your health/stamina/hit-points go to zero, then just return to the map and choose another quest. You cannot die.

Now, if Gamebooks were D&D, I can imagine the grognard-o-sphere scoffing about the kids today, their sense of entitlement to win, and their inability to deal with losing, having to have everything handed to them on a plate, being molly-coddled.  Not only that, but (bear in mind I'm still playing through chapter 1) the narrative drive is essentially about levelling up, getting better equipment,  and creating ever more powerful character builds. Promoting  munchkinism and min-maxing over flawed characters? blashphemy! But this isn't D&D, and there aren't any gamebook aficionados who'd seriously argue that Ian Livingstone's random insta-death, impossibly hard monsters, and start again from the very beginning because you didn't find the right keys, gems or body parts at the very last encounter is actually a better way of writing gamebooks, but then Ian does have an OBE.

What's in your backpack? Destiny Quest 1. limited edition dice, trading card and booze.

Structurally, Destiny Quest is a little different from most game books, being a largely unrelated collection of colour-coded, combat orientated scenarios threaded together by a map. Because the scenarios can be played in any order, although you're advised to take the colour coding into account, else you won't have tooled up properly to defeat the monsters, there doesn't appear to be any path dependencies (i.e. requirement to have picked up object B from location X to progress) requirements. Nor does there appear to be any scenario where decision making is more important than combat, however this observation should be taken lightly, as at 400 pages, this is a probably the largest single gamebook I've ever seen, and I have only just started Chapter II.


The episodes themselves, one contains the immortal lines 'you must fight the turnips as a single enemy' and a nice riff on Little Red Riding Hood. This kind of folksy, fairy-tale influenced, grimy low level stuff is just what I love, it's the weird muddied heart of the Realm of Zhu. The writing is superb, gripping, action filled, atmospheric stuff, Ward really knows how to put you into a scene. Many reviews I've read comment on how hard it is to put the book down, and just play one more quest. Rather than game mechanics or geeky enthusiasm for a new gamebook, I put this entirely down to how well the prose is written. 


Final criticism, the cover. It's pink. I've no idea what people were thinking. Teenage girls are off reading The Twilight Saga and the infinite gothic romance clones it has spawned and boys have been trained that pink=girls-stuff. Come on, it can't have been that hard to have had a dark blue cover. I'm sure sales would have been improved no-end in the 12-16 year old market.


Damn, I seem to have written a review. Have to write up some drinking exploits next time.


Destiny Quest is available from Amazon, and also as a Signed Collectors edition with two limited edition loot cards from Ward's eBay shop . I got special DQ dice with mine too, but can't see that on ebay right now.

Dungeon Planner Set 1: Caverns of the Dead

Caverns of the Dead is a boxed set of a large floorplan alongside a booklet of adventure hooks and a DM screen suitable for use with any fantasy role-playing system, published by Games Workshop in 1983

The cover, illustrated by Gary Chalk, most famous for Talisman, Lone Wolf and Redwall. sets a suitably grim and gritty tone.

The box, cover illustration by Gary Chalk, which is repeated on the 'DM Screen'

Inside the book, a slim  booklet kicks off with a number of Adventure Ideas - each reasonably suitable for a Tomb setting - it being taken over by a necromancer, the PCs resurrecting a long dead hero etc. Along with a set of 29 location descriptions. Each of which, such as "The Tomb of Prince Hargon" are dressed with a little background information and history, hinting at a wider fantasy world, whilst leaving great yawning chasms of white space for the DM to write in their own puzzles and monsters. There is a keyed map of the floorplans with lots of space around it for the DM to fill in extra areas, but unfortunately no additional images from Mr. Chalk.

The DM screen repeats the box cover artwork and has a history of the Royal Tombs on the outside, a few encounter tables and a map of the floor plans with a key. The encounter tables are split into 3 themes in-use, neglected and abandoned - each giving a different flavour of dungeon, in-use being guarded and populated by pilgrims and priests, neglected being with a few guards, wild animals and goblinoids, and abandoned with the tombs having been overtaken by high powered undead. Along-side the staple dungeon-dwellers such as orcs and hobgoblins, several of the creature suggestions; Goat Headed Ogres and Night Elves betray the influence of First Edition Warhammer Fantasy Battle and early Citadel Miniatures. The AD&D specific Kobolds also appear in a wandering monster chart. Like the location booklet, no statistics are given for these creatures, the reason being to make the game 'systemless', which as a sales-pitch sounds really liberating, but in reality just means there aren't any stats.

The giant size floorplan. Miniatures not included, for scale reference only.

The main event is the floorplans themselves, a huge folded sheet (810mm 550mm approx A1) of nominally 25mm floorplans, where 1 square (0.75") = 5ft. This is the same scale as Games Workshops Dungeon Floorplans series (on inspection it looks like it has been constructed out of them). Incidentally the floorplans in GWs edition of MERP (a Tavern and a Troll Cave) and their Warhammer campaign McDeath (a Castle) are the same scale. Modern figures do look a little cramped on the plans. The plans themselves are essentially black line work over flat-colours to denote area - grey small stones for some rooms, buff stone slabs for others, green for outside, brown for doors. These are clear graphical floor-plans, not a card-stock model of a dungeon, there's no fancy lighting effects or other illusionistic features.

As a piece of dungeon architecture, The Royal Tombs belongs firmly in the "fill the page" school. The structure itself seems to lack strategic coherence - the main entrance is protected by guard-rooms with windows looking out into the main corridor, but no doors, meaning any guards stationed there would have to make a long trek before attempting to stop whatever is coming in or out, whereas the secondary entrance is clearly the more defensible position, with shorter guard routes and more windows for missile cover. Putting such minor quibbles aside, there are a good number of varying sized rooms and different features, such as the tombs themselves an abyss, rock-falls and the inevitable latrines.

Eastern Koss, the area surrounding the Royal Tombs

Also in the box is a 200mm * 280mm (just under A4) area map of Eastern Koss  this is a handsome enough map - like the floorplans, it is black line work over flat colour - in the archetypal typical little mountains and trees fantasy map style. As a landscape it's reasonably logical with rivers in valleys and woodland distributed. the inhabited locations are of different sizes and there. The bridge-town Windrush shares it's name with the ship famous for bringing British Caribbeans to England in 1948, a less historically significant name would have helped kept the illusion of a coherent fantasy world, but this is a minor quibble, and perhaps a little anachronism feeds the imagination. The map also features several menhir of mysterious unnamed purpose, but again these could be used to help build a series of adventures around them and develop a campaign outside the tomb itself.

This all leaves us with the largest problem of this product. Who is supposed to use it, and how? Most DMs worth their salt can take a fully populated module and adapt it to their campaign, while here we are given the 'fluffy' background parts of a module and expected to do all the hard work in terms of populating it with monsters treasures and npcs.

Perhaps the greatest weakness as a product is the issue of re-usability. A DM can't seriously keep pulling out the Caverns of the Dead floorplans and using them as a different dungeon location every session, one time the Ogre Kings Lair, next session the Elven Halls then the Goblin Caves.

The Dungeon Planner series are intended to be half finished, waiting for the godlike hand of the DM to come and bring the place to life, but instead of fuelling the creative urges, it just comes across as being a little half baked, rushed and a bit lazy. If this had been a fully developed game, packaged up with a simple combat and action resolution system, card-stock monsters, characters, and a campaign guide, this could have been the start of a fantastic product line (like the much later GW/MB Heroquest), and creative DMs could still easily adapt the materials to their campaign. The Caverns of the Dead usefulness to the DM as a starting point for a campaign is just as limited as any standard adventure module, but without the benefits of being able to simply run it as an adventure straight out of the box.

Of course, all of that is secondary, what DPS1: Caverns of the Dead, does and does well is supply a really great set of old-school feel, 25mm dungeon floor-plans.

A halfling (Citadel ME34 Pippin) takes on the undead (Otherworld UD1a Skeleton)

This review was first posted on Dragonsfoot, like, years ago.

Rogue Trader - The Space Rock Opera [Act 1: Amazonia Gothique]

"Carving out an empire across a billion shattered star
systems, one super being stood supreme. Biting the
hand that shaped him Dominator's new order reigned
with a grip of iron, dissident's were executed or
imprisoned on maximum-security lunar compounds."



1988 Dominator Album by Cloven Hoof, cover 'Amazonia Gothique' by John Blanche.

1986 White Dwarf, magazine cover 'Amazonia Gothique' by John Blanche.

"Sentenced to burn exiled in purgatory.
A man made cage, in a distant galaxy.
But tonight we leave, so spread the word around.
Breaking out, never to be found.
Over the top, past security.
Through the fields of energy."



1986 sculpt by Micheal Perry based on 'Amazonia Gothique' by John Blanche.

"Renegade forces  of the world unite.
Imprison our captors,  freedom is in sight.
Storm the watchtower, tear down these walls.
Nothing can stop us, heed no master's call.
In the night, the sirens wail.
Imperial Storm troopers,  on our tail"

cira 2010 some emo/scene bird

ZOMG! Hair is LARPing 0_o

Gimmie Kozmic Akse!

I've always imagined Amazonia Gothique to be Blanches contribution to the Eternal Champion mythos. Whilst not, directly Ilian The Champion of Garathorm (the only literary female Eternal Champion), Blanches Amazonia Gothique is a transcendent figure, she stands like some orbital moon with her huge white 'fro eclipsing a raging sun. She stands at the centre of a cosmic event. The Major Hero, possibly a Champion of Slaanesh (Realm of Chaos:StD).

Dominator by Cloven Hoof is a rather hackneyed sci-fi flavoured piece of hair-metal, in all honesty the art director probably picked the John Blanche at random, there's no celestial goth/emo girl character. But the storyline could make the basis of a pretty cool Rogue Trader 40k / Gamma World campaign or a stage musical written by Ben Elton.

Fighting Fantasy 40: Dead of Night

This is the tale of a Demon-stalker, a kind of templar-knight investigating an incursion of demonic forces into a rustic valley in the Old World, whose family have been kidnapped and homeland ravaged.

By book 40 of the Fighting Fantasy series adding a special attribute in order to make the game unique has become the expected norm, and here is no different.  Dead of Night uses an "Evil" score to measure the morality of your actions (aka "alignment graphing" for all you old school D&Ders!). The prose, plot and this mechanic work really well in combination - often you can be forced into doing Evil actions by well-meaning intentions and otherwise logical acts - hanging around peasants too long will incurr their wrath as they see demons and their hunters as two sides of the same conflict they'd be better of without. We're in slightly murky moral waters here. There are also a selection of talents - like D&D clerical spells, or Lone Wolf's Kai abilities - the selection of the 'right' ones will make the game easier or harder and give clearer routes to victory (spoiler: go for the defensive).
  
There are grim echoes of the Enemy Within Campaign from Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay (which the authors: Jim Bambra was on the design team of, and Stephen Hand was working at GW during the time of WFRP development)  and indeed with a little reworking would make a fine WFRP mini-campaign. Even touches like the use of river-transport echoes the Empire campaign setting, the 'taint' of evil running though and the peculiar naturalism all add to the effect. Dead of Night or "Nachtmord" as a WFRP nick-name... is very much a low-fantasy setting, quite different from the usual ecclectic high fantasy of Titan. Whilst in interview Hand has claimed a "Hammer Horror" influence, any direct comparison with English Gothic Cinema (with it's busty wenches and gore) pales with the similarity to WFRP's chaos tinged, Call of Cthulhu influenced fantasy setting.

One nice scene is a zombie-attack minigame that utilises a floor-plan of a cottage for you to strategically place the defendants and a dice-mechanic for which door/window the undead attack through echoing George A Romeros Night of the Living Dead and something of Stephen Hands Chainsaw Warrior solo board game perhaps? Would have made an excellent centre-fold boardgame for Warlock Magazine if it was continuing at this time.

All in all this is, dare I say it, incredibly good for a Fighting Fantasy book, whilst I can get all misty-eyed and nostalgic for the very early Steve Jackson and Ian Lvingstone dungeons, citadels and forests, with their randomly stocked layouts and fiendish traps, Dead of Night is good on many levels, from it's brave use of morality as a theme and it's dark foreboding atmosphere to the challenging puzzles.

Giant Shadows: John Blanche in Moria

'Moria! Moria! Wonder of the Northern world! 
Too deep we delved there, and woke the nameless fear. 
Long have its vast mansions lain empty since the children of Durin fled.
But now we spoke of it again with longing, and yet with dread'

JRR. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

Click to enlarge. The graphic composition, the clashing of white space, stippling and contrast between the fine linework and heavy black creates an almost dizzying, slightly disorientated sense of... weirdness, that makes these illustrations looks as dynamic and innovative today as they did way back in 1983 (White Dwarf #38). Perhaps even more so, when we consider that this is a depiction of the Khazad-dûm, the Mines of Moria. Now that the naturalistic visions of Alan Lee, via Peter Jackson have stamped their tone seemingly indelibly on the works of the Professor, the frenzied, dynamic ink of John Blanche seems even more astounding.

Whilst there are no ear-rings, shoulder-spikes or bondage-armour, the spikey ornate gothic sword handle, the punk hair-do on the twisted fairytale grimace of the fiery Balrog (?) and the eastern styling on the armour of the skinny alien lizard men and sinister brooding goblin. we can see many of the trademark stylings that John Blanche will continue carve-out through his carrer.

Blanches illustrations for Steve Jacksons Sorcery series are easily the pinnacle of his black and white work, although his drawings for the Citadel Compedium  and 1st/2ndWarhammer have their own highpoints. The Sorcery Spell-book is a wondrous compilation of amusing and black and white fantastical drawings, with all the elements: oriental exoticism rubbing shoulders with creatures straight out of a grubby medieval fairy-story, with the familiar thin-line and heavy black contrasts,  entertaining details that Blanche excels in (the postage-stamp portraits in the illustration above are of Fighting Fantasy creators Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson).

Blanche's work, for me, epitomises the 80s dungeon-punk aesthetic - it is sketchy, graphic, teeming with incidental scribbley detail and great swathes of black ink, whilst managing to conjure a world both exotic and familiar, always tinged with hysteria and brooding menace.

Eye of the Dragon vs. Hobgoblin Ale

 Success at last! After years of scouring local charity shops, I finally picked up a Fighting Fantasy book - Ian Livingstones Eye of the Dragon - for the bargain price of 30p! It's the first non-Puffin published FF book I've bought. To celebrate I purchased a bottle of Hobgoblin Ale from Wychwood breweries. I like beer, and I like Fighting Fantasy. But which is best? There's only one way to find out... fiiiiiiiight!

So I open the bottle, pour out a glass admire the warm nutty citrusy notes and note the dark ruby colour. Time to  roll-up a character using the book-dice (similar to the technique used in Sorcery! of little dice printed at the bottom of the page)... Skill: 10, Stamina: 23. that's really good! Luck: 7, not so good.

Some random stranger called Henry (!) gives me a map and a deadly poison that will kill me in 14 days if I don't return with his treasure. The background  story name-checks a bunch of early Fighting-Fantasy locations, Firetop Mountain, Fang and Darkwood Forest. Setting out to the aforementioned Forest, I find a hut, search it, find an axe with a mysterious inscription on it and head down some gloomy stairs into the dungeon complex below. Swigging the ale I immediately notice the clean, dry, nutty flavour, and that I'm standing at a T-junction with absolutely no indication of which is the correct direction, the rats and wall slime aren't helping either.

Deciding to head left, barge into a locked door and enter a room with a mirror in it. Avoiding a mirror, I end up in a room with a wishing well, where I'm offered the opportunity of losing a Gold Piece to make a wish but not to nick all the gold. I sit down and drink some more Hobgoblin ale, noting the sharp citrusy bite whilst pondering this quandary: the instructions don't say how much gold I started out with, so I don't know if I have any to make a wish with. I decide to ignore the wishing well deciding that it's some kind of weird meta-gaming trap. A bit further on, I stumble into a Medusa and passing a Skill test manage to run off. Facing yet another oak door I end up accidentally releasing the Queen of Spades from what looks like a playing-card prison, and she gives me 5 gold pieces for my trouble, and I return to the door-laden corridor from whence I came.

After easily dispatching three Giant Rats in a kitchen, very nicely illustrated by Martin McKenna (see below), I find a healing potion in a cupboard. It's time for some more ale and a brief spell pondering a dungeon ecology that has Medusas in rooms almost directly after rooms with mirrors and why there's a kitchen. Whilst savouring the beers nice digestive biscuitty finish I leave the room and head down the corridor.

Perhaps it's the effect of half-empty bottle of 5.2% (vol) beer or the fact that yet again I'm faced with  a paragraph asking me if I want to open a door or not, but I'm getting a little irritated with the door corridor, door corridor pattern, it's like a 10 year olds first dungeon. Thank goodness that when I open the door there's a dual-weaponing Goblin to vent my anger upon. In a furious beer fuelled fighting frenzy I loose 2 Stamina, but gain 1 Skill from stealing some magic chain-mail from the goblins corpse. The celebratory quaffing of ale reveals the nutty flavour giving way to some very subtle bitter dark-chocolate notes.

Somehow I find I've staggered into in a marble room with gold footprints and a disembodied evil laugh. I didn't think I'd drunk that much! What on earth is going on? It's like I've ended up in a Dali painting. Cautiously I stand on the footprints and I'm  automagically transport myself to the woodsmans hut right at beginning of the adventure, with no items and -4 Strength and Stamina.

Cue much fist-waving and yelling "Curse you Livingstone!".  I spend the rest of the night drinking Wychwoods finest until I pass out, deciding that when I've sobered up I'll have to find Henry, get the antidote and tell him to go get the treasure himself. Final result: Beer:1 Fighting Fantasy:0