you know what's the greatest thing about being a blogger?

it's when you come back from so many days of hiatus and see lots of people tagging on your blog with their wellwishing and their conversations even though you havent posted anything.
i think it's really cool of you guys. (and gals.)

thank you.

happy new year everyone! i feel like this new year's day's been made already. =)

Ashlee Simpson - Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)

lol, blogger's in denial. it doesnt want 2007 to stop. just look at the date of my post.

quite happy with how my project's turning out...Shermaine's a great groupmate. it's great having her around to help so much...i was also trying my best to help in any way except chinese. =D cuz i wasn't really much of a help then.
IP orientation camp was really good i think. so many different activities...oh and looking back the weather was great too, so it didnt mess anything up.
rather worried now for the repapers...but also really resentful that my schedule's so messed up. i mean, can't the school just let up the workshops for once and let the inter-cohort bonding take place? it's the bloody start of the year for heaven's sake. it's the friendships that make vj a better place.
heh, am i superficial and un-deep? i seem to think so, in my conversations. but i don't know what else i need to see. so it translates to my belief in myself. maybe it's just society and their unconscious selfishness. like, something that leads to separation and ostracism.

Broken Social Scene - 7/4 (Shoreline)
kinda prefer Feist when she's rocking out.

I LIKE BEING CLEAN. =)

so tired, my parents have been very irritating, waking me up every morning, drawing the curtains at the ungodly hour of 9am and blasting the demo songs on the piano to wake me up. feel like slitting their throats with a transparent silver knife every time they do that. haha!

anyway, christmas was okay. turned out to be different...in a weird way haha. felt so stone the whole day...church didnt even feel like christmastime church. does growing up do that to you? =(

I
Am
Legend
looks like a good/great movie!!! shall i go see it on new years' eve? *wink*

hmm i dunno, that just wasnt very nice of him to do that, especially so early in the year. it might affect the class bonding and stuff. i'm definitely affected by it. everyone's split up. and more importantly, how the heck am i gonna crash if the schedule's like that? lol.

anyway, just bought Siobhan Donaghy's album, Ghosts. not bad. will probably grow into me as i listen to it more. it's more accessible than Feist, definitely.
and that brings us to, renjie. sigh. well, i should really have expected it. i mean, how can someone just leave his old mates like that and join us? i should have seen that he would (or could) do that to us as well. people wont like it if he keeps doing that. i dunno, i feel kinda disappointed and sad but hopeful as well. i guess i just see the bad sides of good people, and good sides of people who i should see the bad sides of.

hehe, this has been the most understated, calm, uncomplicated post i've posted in a long time. it's good to simplify, you know? i feel like barley.

okay, i cant hide it anymore, i know it's trivial, but ARGH!!!

I SO TOTALLY WANT THAT PSP SLIM/LITE. =DDDDDDD

i called it off.
im sorry.

hope you're okay.


=)

On a lighter note, MY WISHLIST FOR CHRISTMAS.

i've been very into the female artist-alternative pop types these few days. hm.

Roisin Murphy - Overpowered
Siobhan Donaghy - Ghosts
Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Read My Lips, Trip The Light Fantastic
Paprika Original Soundtrack by Susumu Hirasawa

Rose Pink PSP Lite Console pack.

you are dangerous.

your life is still so shut off from me.


one day with my parents.
just one.
is enough to irritate the shit out of me.
i mean, why cant they just accept me for who i am?
i enjoy my sports. i really do.
but, forcing me do play stuff when im just not in the mood to do so is just rubbish.
utter fuck.
what is it with them and computers? they think it's the main cause of all their problems between us.
why dont they just ask me whether i want to or not? and if i say no, why can't they just let it be? why do they have to be so insistent? havent i gone along with them so much?
one day they're just going to have to accept that i'm different from them.
argh. i dont have the guts to explain either, they'll just knock me down with their eloquence and twisted logic again and again and again and use the situation to their future advantage.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Music Gets the Best of Me

what i'm trying to say is, i can't trust people easily and you're not one that i can trust easily.

bleah, i need inspiration to run today. but if i get someone to run with me...can't be bothered to plan haha. okay. i shall use my cd as a way to fuel myself.

Here are a list of CDs that i have some intention of getting.
but i can only choose one today...and i dont know which one. lol.

Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head
Interpol - Our Love To Admire / Antics
The Concretes - The Concretes
Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Read My Lips / Trip The Light Fantastic
Gwen Stefani - Love. Angel. Music. Baby
Joanna Newsom - Ys
Feist - Let It Die / The Reminder
Arcade Fire - Funeral
Bat For Lashes - Fur And Gold
Muse - Black Holes And Revelations
Within Temptation - The Heart Of Everything / The Silent Force

hmm...

Evanescence - Lithium (Acoustic)
Amy Lee's voice is immaculate.

suddenly i saw your name and it all came rushing back.

what am i doing?!

flickers of what might happen are running through my head sometimes.
it's very dangerous.
i've dragged myself in too deep alr?
do i have the guts to stop it if it happens?
lol. why did i do it in the first place.
probably Aries, huh.

seriously, people can be so stupid sometimes. despite what's already drilled into your subconscious. there's surely something that you'll fall for, without yourself knowing in the first place.

im not sure that i can call this a healthy experience anymore.
that's why i've been trying to talk as much as possible, get to know.

haha, people, i'm not depressed or anything. i'm just thinking aloud. it'll be interesting to know what you think.

Beyonce - Me, Myself and I

I've been so blind
It feels right when it's wrong.

hello davier.

Paprika is an amazing anime movie. possibly the best that i've seen.

highly recommended.

just as an afterthought, the soundtrack of the movie is wonderful. really matches the colourful mood of the movie! bloody brilliant.

Susumu Hirasawa - Mediational Field
Susumu Hirasawa - The Girl in Byakkoya

p.s. Please do not hesitate asking me for the link! arigato!

HAHAHAHA MAYBE WE REALLY WEREN'T CUT OUT FOR EACH OTHER CUZ RIGHT AFTER I TALK TO YOU I JUST FEEL LIKE FUCKING BREAKING SOMETHING OR SLAMMING A YELLOW ALUMINIUM BASEBALL BAT AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AGAINST THE WALL!!! =)))))DDDDDDDD

IT TOOK ME WAY LONGER THAN THE REST BUT MAYBE THEY WERE RIGHT AFTER ALL AND I'M ALWAYS ABIT SLOW AND YOURE AN ASS. no, that's not nice to say about someone. so i shant call you anything.

DO I ENJOY THIS? i dont KNOW anymore. HURRY UP SHAUN. or Joe. whoever you are.
im sure i/you can find someone else who's wayyyyy better.

there's no RIGHT or WRONG answer when talking to you. i have to REMEMBER that.
i might be slow but im thorough when it comes to this.
i'll learn. the painful way. i might grit my teeth and scream in my mind but i have probably no choice but to go down there. or i can just stop and climb out of that tunnel.
God, is this a test? to see how delirious i can get before i crack? haha!!

just one regret right now, that i told that eenie meenie spiderweb lie. see. i told you i had to learn the hard way. grr. oh well. might as well *try* to enjoy it.

Tsukiko Amano - Fukurou

i don't know anymore.
i really wish i were Delirium.

I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside
All I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do
You do if you knew
What would you do

All the pain
I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to what
Was never said
Back and forth
Inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable come and take me away

I feel like
I'm all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold
I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you
I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands

You must think I'm a fool
So prosaic and awkward and all
D'you think you've got me down?
D'you think I've never been out of this town?

Do I seem too eager to please to you now?
You don't know me at all
I can't turn it on, turn it off like you now
I'm not like you ... now

Now you're here
I bet you're wishing you could disappear
I'm trying to be kind
I get the feeling you're just killing time

You look down on me
Don't you look down on me now
You don't know me at all
A slap in the face
In the face for you now
Just might do now

i'm not afraid of anything
i just need to know that i can breathe
i don't need much of anything
but suddenly...
i am small and the world is big
all around me is fast moving
surrounded by so many things
but suddenly, suddenly

how does it feel to be
different from me
are we the same
how does it feel to be
different from me
are we the same
how does it feel

i am young and i am free
but i get tired and i get weak
i get lost and i can't sleep
but suddenly, suddenly,

would you comfort me
would you cry with me
i am small and the world is big
but i'm not afraid of anything

And when it rains,
On this side of town it touches, everything.
Just say it again and mean it.
We don't miss a thing.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole
And convinced yourself that
It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, I need the ending.
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?

And when it rains,
Will you always find an escape?
Just running away,
From all of the ones who love you,
From everything.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole
And you'll sleep 'til May
And you'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore

And oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
And oh, oh, I need the ending.
So why can't you stay just long enough to explain?

Take your time.
Take my time.

Take these chances to turn it around.
Take these chances, we'll make it somehow
And take these chances to turn it around.
Just turn it around.

Oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
Oh, oh I need an ending.
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain?

You can take your time, take my time.

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

No sir
Well I don't wanna be the blame, not anymore
It's your turn to take a seat
We're settling the final score

And why do we like to hurt so much?

I can't decide
You have made it harder just to go on
And why, all the possibilities
Well I was wrong

That's what you get when you let your heart win, woah
That's what you get when you let your heart win, woah
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, woah

I wonder
How am I supposed to feel when you're not here?
Cuz I've burned every bridge I ever built
When you were here

I still try
Holding on to silly things, I never learn
Oh why, all the possibilities
I'm sure you've heard

Hey, make your way to me, to me
And I'll always be just so inviting
If I ever start to think straight
This heart will start a riot in me
Let's start, start - hey!

Why do we like to hurt so much?
Oh, why do we like to hurt so much?

All I did was walk over
Start off by shaking your hands
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
Oh yeah yeah
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you

You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away

You,
You know how to get me so low
My heart had a crash when we spoke
I can't fix what you broke
And you,
You always have a reason
Again and again, this feeling
Why do I give in?

And I always was
Oh always
Was one for crying
I always was one for tears

The sun's gettin' cold it's snowin'
Looks like an early winter
For us
Looks like an early winter
For us
An early winter
Oh, I need you to turn me over

It's said,
The map of the world is on you
The moon gravitates around you
The seasons escape you

And I always was
Oh always
Was one for crying
I always was one for tears

No, I never was
Oh never
One for lying
You lied to me
All these years

The sun's gettin' cold it's snowin'
Looks like an early winter
For us
Looks like an early winter
For us
An early winter
Oh, I need you to turn me over

It looks like an early winter
For us
It hurts and I can't remember
Summer
An early winter
For us
The leaves are changing color
For us

It gets too much
It gets so much
Startin' over and over and over again...

so friggin angry.

i dont know if it's ryan or it's me, but i'm still so friggin angry.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??
no point keeping silent!
it just frustrates the shit out of me.

You need ta spit it out, in a telephone booth
While you call everyone that you know, and ask 'em

Where do you think she goes
Oh yeah, where d'ya suppose she goes, oh

where the hell am I going anyway??

chatting with ryan and robin.
we used to be so close!

now they're both in separate convos.
leading totally different lifestyles.
haha.

*reminder to timo YES YOU*
get ryan's blog add

yooouuurre on the other side of the world to me.

hey ryan, thanks for the chat.
it really gave me new confidence.
all i have to do now is keep reminding myself about it lol. =)

zomg i just smelled his scent. WTF.


check out this cool song.
dont you just feel claustrophobic?
the classic reversal of dominance.

"Catch You" - Sophie Ellis-Bextor

The morning paper
Look in the mirror
On your keychain
Or in the coffee spoon
On your shirt sleeve
In the flat-screen
In your mailbox
Breathing over you

Come on baby, when will you see
'Cause you and I were meant to be
And know I got my target all on track
Baby you should know that I'm so good at that

Run to where you want, run to where you want
I am gonna find you
There aint no distance far enough
My love's gonna find you

Run to where you want, run to where you want
Maybe I'll remind you
There aint no engine fast enough
My love's gonna catch you

In your top drawer
In your cheque book
On your cellphone
By your easy chair
In the next room
Behind the curtain
Can't escape me
I'm watching everywhere

i finally understand something about myself.

i feel best when i'm sleepy.
because then my conscious mind doesnt work properly, and i can think clearer and deeper and i see what i really want to say and i'll say it. or just think it.

bleah i hate being dead.
bleah i really hate being dead.

today was an okay day. went to watch enchanted in the afternoon, felt abit weird with just two seniors but they're really nice and in the end i felt okay.
the movie was great. so heartwarming. loved all the cliched stuff.
bought a pack of tarot cards too, they're nice. thanks willie!

you dont reply me.
i've been trying not to get frustrated about it but it bugs me sometimes.
like now.

How does she know you love her?
How does she know she's yours?

How does she know that you really
really
Truly love her?
How does she know that you love her?
How do you show that you love her?

It's not enough to take the one you love granted
You must remind her or she'll be inclined to say
"How do I know he loves me?
How do I know he's mine?"

Well does he leave a little note to tell you you are on his mind?
Send you yellow flowers when the sky is grey?
He'll find a new way to show you a little bit every day
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love

You got to show her you need her
Don't treat her like a mind reader
Each little something to lead her to believe you love her

Well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?
Dedicate a song with words meant just for you?
He'll find his own way to tell you with the little things he'll do
That's how you know
That's how you know he's your love
He's your love

That's how you he loves you
That's how you know it's true

Because he'll wear your favorite color just so he can match your eyes
Plan a private picnic by the fire's glow
His heart will be yours forever
Something everday will show

That's how you know

at the end of the day, they were right.
i deserve this break of one day.
=)

the trip was quite interesting. i bought a few shirts over the course of the trip. we went to kuala lumpur, then gopeng in ipoh, and then genting.

at kl, we shopped and shopped. dont remember it much actually, except for the part where we went to the twin towers.

gopeng was the funnest. i did white water rafting there. the waters were really fast...once they pushed me into the water and it was so freaky cuz the water went over my head and i tried to stand up but i couldnt find the ground and i thought i was going to drown then they threw the rope and i managed to grab it. haha.
the boat jumps.
then after that i went waterfall abseiling. its like, abseiling, with the water falling. very hard. i went to the difficult part where the water was really rushing down and i managed to finish it after falling about 3 times =P


the next day went caving. crawled in a space about 80cm high with water at my chin. really dragged myself across the 6m of space.
beautiful cave.

um, genting was cool too. went through the haunted house. got this lame guy who just steps out of curtains with a mask on and says RARRGGHH or BOO. oh and it's 3-D so the art was really cool. it was a van helsing theme.

the holiday was at least fun.
really!

MIKA - Happy Ending

just got back from an enjoyable holiday in malaysia.

i'll update a longer post when im not feeling too tired.

but neeways, thank you so much jen you made my day. exactly one minute of it left. =)

The song's reign at number-one in Britain happened when the country was hit by extreme rainfall and flooding, which led some people to jokingly suggest the two events were related, calling it the "Rihanna Curse". A similar situation occurred in New Zealand, where the song hit number-one in the early winter of 2007 as the country was experiencing some of the worst storms in history.

Interestingly, in Greece, "Umbrella" was released at a time when people were suffering through a summer of several major heatwaves topping 47C/117F, and the worst forest fires of modern history, killing 60 people. When the song peaked at #4 in the Greek singles chart in October 2007 (being one of the most successful international releases), the country began experiencing a rainy spell. It gained high airplay on radio, proving that it was one of the most successful international releases there.

In Spain - where "Umbrella" topped the downloads chart for seven consecutive weeks and the Los40 Principales chart for four weeks in August, September and the beginning of October - the country had seen one of the wettest summers in decades, and the coldest August since the beginning of the 20th century.

Rihanna - Umbrella

band was really fun.
i didnt do very well today tho. everyone seemed so drained. so there was nothing left to drain from them.
i FEED off energy from people. mwahaha.
haha, yiwen broke the METAL string with his pick. and an interesting question popped into my head: why do they call it a pick when you dont use it to pick? so BIZARRE.
i wanna play my doorbell on the drums can somebody learn the lyrics so i can play it while you sing? =))))
after that, played starcraft with eduardo, marcus and yiwen. I SWEAR, I LOVE THOSE DARK TEMPLAR THINGIES THEY JUST OWN. hehe.


speaking of feeding, i had dinner at the american club yesterday. OHMYGOSH the fish was so HUGE it's the BIGGEST i've ever eaten! and Junjie was so nice to treat me somemore. thanks man. Kash had this cool iPhone that you could scroll with your finger...i was so amazed that the screen could flip that i couldnt stop laughing. it was so cool!!!!
bowled and i had 145, 140 and 130.
pool...they can really play pool! omg it's totally ownage lah. very nice strokes and everything. raced on those car thingies too. kash is really good at it i think.

i love long dark bus rides. they just put me so at ease. i can listen to my music without caring about anything or anybody too.
i hope this isnt my last post before i leave. i never wanna leave. but it's one week.

the holiday's worse than expected.
ONE WEEK.
starts next friday.

watched good luck chuck. great show, actually made me laugh (unlike the game plan)

I just wanna scream and lose control
Throw my hands up and let it go
Forget about everything and run away, yeah
I just wanna fall and lose myself
Laughing so hard it hurts like hell
Forget about everything and run away, yeah


god that felt good.
i'm gonna live my life to the fullest
starting next week!
the only crusher is that my friday's been taken away.
fridays are important!

Declare independence!
Don't let them do that to you!
Declare independence!
Don't let them do that to you!

Start your own currency!
Make your own stamp
Protect your language

Damn colonists
Ignore their patronizing
Tear off their blindfolds
Open their eyes

With a flag and a trumpet
Go to the top of your highest mountain!
And raise your flag!



IT WAS ME THAT THOUGHT OF IT. I THOUGHT OF IT IN MY HEAD. I THOUGHT, I MISSED YOU, AND I THOUGHT, IF WE WENT TO FIND YOU, THEN WE'D FIND YOU, AND THAT WOULD MAKE EVERYTHING ALWAYS BETTER FOR EVER...
SO I WENT AND LOOKED FOR YOU AND FIRST OF ALL DESIRE WAS AT THIS PARTY AND SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T HELP AND THEN DESPAIR SHOWED ME HER RATS AND SHE HAD A SAD MAN IN A MIRROR BUT SHE WOULDN'T COME WITH ME AND I WENT TO SEE DREAM BUT FIRST I WENT HOME AND CRIED A LITTLE BIT.
SO I WENT TO SEE DREAM AND I THOUGHT HE'D SAY NO BUT HE GAVE ME LITTLE CHOCOLATE LOVERS AND HE SAID OKAY. AND WE SAW THIS TRAVELLING MAN AND I MADE LITTLE FROGS AND THIS LADY WANTED MY NAME, AND I WENT ON A AIRPLANE.


I LIKE AIRPLANES. I LIKE ANYWHERE THAT ISN'T A PROPER PLACE. I LIKE IN-BETWEENS.
THERE WAS A LADY NAMED RUBY ONLY SHE GOT BURNED ALL UP BUT THAT WAS LATER. AND THERE WAS A LAWYER TOO BUT HE GOT ALL BURNED UP TOO. I MEAN HE GOT SQUASHED.
AND THE ETAIN LADY RAN AWAY BECAUSE HER HOUSE WENT BOOM AND THE ALDER MAN WASN'T IN THE WORLD ANY MORE AND I FOUND TIFFANY AND SHE WAS WITH THE DANCING LADY.
AND THEN I DID DRIVING AND I WAS REALLY GOOD. THEN WE WENT TO THE DANCING LADY AND DREAM TALKED TO HER AND I MADE THIS MAN GIVE TIFFANY ALL HIS DOLLARS, THEN WE WENT AWAY.
THEN DREAM SAID HE WOULDN'T GO WITH ME ANY MORE AND I WENT HOME AND CRIED A LITTLE BIT, BUT THEN HE SAID HE WAS SORRY AND REALLY HE WOULD COME WITH ME AGAIN, BECAUSE...
I DON'T REMEMBER. SOMETHING. AND THAT HE'D BE NICE TO ME.
FRIENDS.
THEN WE WENT TO NOWHERE AND THEN WE WENT TO THE FAIR AND THEN WE WENT TO DESTINY'S GUARDING. AND THEN DREAM WENT ALL SPOGGLY AND I HAD TO PUT ME ALL...
I HAD TO... I HAD TO BE... IT HURT.

AND THEN WE WENT OVER THERE AND I ATE SOME CHERRIES AND THE STONES SAID I WAS GOING TO BE A KANGAROO WHEN I GROW UP AND THEN WE CAME HERE.
SO IT WAS ME. UM. THAT'S ALL.

A TRIBUTE TO AVRIL.

avril.
what happened?
i miss you.
miss you so bad.
i won't forget you
oh it's so sad.

i won't stop you.
are you losing touch with your old, original self?
now, it's glam, buzzing and great and all that.
nice outfits and stuff.
but it's not you, at least i dont think it's you musically.
remember the HOT video?

totally did not expect that.
well.
just keep making good music okay?
thanks.
=)

had a great afternoon!!

=)

When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You Know That You're Right.

i will not think about anything.
just the happy things.
great.
=)

um, are you two having a discussion on where i put the Joel in my name?
that's totally interesting i mean i dont even really know where i should put it.

anyway today is my mom's birthday and me and my bro and my auntie baked a chocolate cake for her and the inside of the cake was like really tasteless and the outside was covered in chocolate cookie dough stuff and it tasted great but very thick and chocolatey so i had to drink two glasses of milk just to get one piece of the cake down my throat and then yesterday i went to parkway and got a baby eeyore holding a pink basket like a accessory holder and she's gonna put it on her desk at work today.
oh and my auntie went to the market and bought three white roses for my mom though i thought white roses were for dead people but i guess it was okay since she didnt say anything.

what's the gunky stuff in people's eyes? vitreous humor.
omg my job is so LAME i've started work but they don't even want me around this week.
-.-''
DUDE.

brendon urie is the LOVE with his red specs man.
blast from the past. =P
back from camp.
it didnt stink as much as i thought it would...

really brought me closer to god.
but, as i would prefer, this blog will not contain anything about religion or politics.
just daily life and thoughts.
so, i will not post about the life-changing experiences that i have come across during the course of the camp.

just a few words on the camp then.
it was more thought-provoking than the church camps that i've been attending the past few years.
so many sharing sessions which were really a -culture shock- for me.
it's something like cell-group thingies or whatever you call them i suppose.
im also beginning to enjoy the singing (no, i will not call it praise and worship cuz it sounds cheesy). i was kinda surprised at how many christian songs i actually knew.

made so many new friends at the camp. Mitch. Abigail.
strengthened bonds that already existed. Charles. Olivia. Rebecca. Brandon.
Mitch and i have so many things in common!
we love music. though admittedly he only listens to pop and the bubblegum on the radio. but he knows how to play the guitar!! so well!
hey, i can play COLLIDE by Howie Day okay! i'm proud of myself =)
um, i think Mitch knows how to play lots of Paramore songs. which i can sing to! yay!
he's got lots of issues and i hope he can get through well.

hey guys, did you miss me?! haha. i sure did miss you. thanks again to lucas who kept me company through the bad times in the camp. i was rather alone in the first two days.
oh, my smoker friends are quite cool. they're also the people who helped me through the camp. thanks the most to Ben.
haha, some genius smoked in the toilet when one of the camp facilitators was taking a shower.
got screwed, but luckily he understood them and just told them not to get caught during the course of the camp. see. catholics are understanding people.

The Concretes - On The Radio

dug this image out of the mess in my com.
it brings back so many memories!!
gosh. love the shirt man. =P

diane's so desperate to go clubbing, UNDERAGE.
if i DO go, i repeat, IF i do, i'll probably go for the thrill of sneaking in.
alcohol doesnt really appeal to me...
except maybe being sprayed on the skin.
ha.

watched Stardust.
great show!
sorry leonie for spoiling the scary parts.
the witches really DID act like Ashley when they laughed.

msn's dying on me.

it's already camp day.
church camp.
terrible.
well i'm getting so many mixed feelings.
glad for the things i'll be leaving behind this weekend!
upset for the weekend being spent with the company of people i dont really like.
who dont really care if im there or not either.
i guess you cant have both, or else the weekend would be perfect, right?
i mean, who wants a perfect weekend? NOT ME!
my weekend should be screwed over and over again like every other weekend i've been having.

god help me.

Vanessa Carlton - White Houses

went to school today to run. just to run and come back.

met a whole bunch of people who ended up staring at me! haha i will never forget that sight. 20+ people crowding in a rough semicircle around me while i tried to talk to as many people as possible who asked me questions. haha. sorry guys if i was abit hasty. hope you were entertained enough looking at me =D

my eyes really look black? cool. i never knew. that's a nice thing to think about.
met the juniors. well, hung around the junior v12 class and got to remember william. and peter. um, and summer too.
hey guys, your song was nice! give yourselves a round of applause!



after that went home and rested awhile. then it was off to the session with the band. great stuff today. the drums were cool...i think i shall learn to play "My Doorbell" by the White Stripes soon. i WILL learn it. i mean, for a noob like me, what else can i play eh? =)
getting more and more comfortable singing out loud. hearing my own voice. today's session was good stuff man. had so much fun. thank you yiwen and leon and renjie and kai liang and desmond.
i am SO motivated to learn -holiday- man. on HOLIDAY! *HEY!*



Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away


Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

Keane - Everybody's Changing

today was a nice day!

went bowling. i think i wore my contacts the wrong way the whole time! luckily they didnt irritate me too much. grace fixed them at her house.
TIM LIM THE SALESPERSON! XDDD * -_- whaddya want.*

grace's house. she bought a cup of instant noodles for me! how sweet is that! thankyous =)

talked and talked and talked there. and im so glad she's feeling better now. i make people feel AT EASE. PEACEFUL.
after that, imagined her rolling down the hill in her pink t-shirt and black shorts. haha.

arent i happy? i am! im happy that im glad!
this week has been great so far. simply amazing.
and i dont think it's gonna stop anytime soon =P
i dont want it to stop ANYWAY.

working is really tiring.
just got back from work.
and there was like hardly anyone there lah.
oh well at least i got to know how to make a killer hot chocolate. thanks grace.

heaven in a cup!

been reading parts of the endless series. delirium really fascinates me. who could have thought of chicken-and-telephone flavoured ice cream?

tired...
bowling's tomorrow.
im fucking paying with my own money cuz my parents really dont like it when i ask them for money. or rather, they'll call me an ungrateful shit.
160 bucks.
oh well.

the weekend's finally over!!!!

im still adjusting to my contacts...everything close seems abit blurry. but things far away are clear.

gosh. so happy.

these are the emotionally terrible days for me. these four days. i have been an emotional wreck.

yesterday was the first day. I SERIOUSLY BROKE DOWN. GRACE IM SO SORRY TO TROUBLE YOU. BUT IT'S THE FIRST TIME I'VE CRIED IN 4 YEARS.

GOD I NEED THIS WEEKEND TO BE OVER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENING. I SERIOUSLY CANT STAND ANYMORE.

grace, bring me to that job. my parents have threatened to kick me out of the house. if i get the job, i'll talk to the chef. ask him to open the kitchen at night for me to sleep in if i actually get kicked.

i want to get out. get AWAY. BACK OFF YOU SAD FUCKS.
give me space.

this will be a quickie, since im supposed to be at the other house.
wont be posting for at least another 4 days.
i've got no plans for next week. *hinthint*
just the lovely days to heal and try to find the nice side of family life.
try.

GRR i seriously need to get you outoutout of my head!!!

Interpol - No I In Threesome - GOSH I LOVE THEIR SOUND. CHECK THEM OUT...ESP "THE HEINRICH MANEUVER"! AND OF COURSE "NO I IN THREESOME".

You got me trippin, stumbling (stahm-bel-in), flippin, fumbling (fahm-bel-in)
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love

Trying to find the magic
Trying to write a classic
Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know?
Waste-bin full of paper
Clever rhymes, see you later...

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promise each other it's 'til the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles
It's the five of us
With pretty eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No, I can't resist the day

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I come undone at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love and we all got hurt
I sneak into his car's cracked leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy, we're going way too fast
It's all too sweet to last

havent posted in such a long time.
gosh i have to stop stating the obvious.

the chalet was really great. i just hope i got upset over a small thing. then i dont have to worry so much like im doing now.
give me a sign, cuz i need to be sure at least.

i wanna sing.
sing and sing.
there are so many songs that can say what i feel.
i miss your scent.
that special something that always reminds me of you.

Avril Lavigne - Things I'll Never Say - When You're Gone

i saw my juniors for the first time today! 08v13!!

got so happy that i really couldnt stop myself talking or my heart from beating.

asdrfertgzsdffv adh dyfhbfs yhnrh s!

juniors, if youre reading this, please tag okay? leave ur blog/email address too!

hmm, i know mark, kimberly and enan. im a good senior =)
too bad i had to leave early for EMCEE DUTY TMR. >.< im starting to feel nervous.
NVM, i can do it!

WE SO IN LOVE, LALA LA LA LA LA!

final event of the year! tomorrow! it's too short, three hours.
i'll miss everyone.

its almost the holidays...
i'll definitely miss my friends!!!

hey v13, organise more more more class outings during the hols okay?!

great. -.-" i havent done my friggin webfolio...

haha should i get the guitar? 200 bucks is quite expensive but cheap at the same time. let me think though it. my parents are definitely going to kill me though.

HEY PEOPLE, HAPPY HALLOWEEN! it's the only season where you get to see interesting stuff!
except maybe christmas. hmm...

The Arcade Fire - Haiti

i had so much fun today.
i felt so involved.
thanks to all the people who involved me in what they were doing.
loves.

i guess with the weekend here, im getting very frustrated. very very frustrated. im sorry for ranting. but i have to. its therauputic. letting something out. or else i would have jumped already. seriously.

i do not want to stay over at the condo for the weekend.
not every weekend.
do not force me to go over there and stay there and rot and do stuff that you force me to do.
i do not find them fun.

i hate you.
i hate you both right now. to your guts.
i dont ask anything of you.
i just ask for my allowance.
i dont bother you or bug you for it.
its fine if you dont give it to me for a week or two.
but please.
i dont expect to be called a selfish person.
i keep to myself, you keep to yours.
like a traditional japanese household.
i will leave you alone.
i want to be left alone.
i will come to you when i want to. when the time is right. when i feel like there's something worth telling.
just leave me alone.

please.
i cant take much more of your persistence.
ignorant persistence.

i want to go out.
away from you both for a while.
give me some time to myself.
let go.
i will have to learn for myself.
i dont mind learning for myself.
just give me the basic needs that i truly need.
i'll learn.

thanks alvin for your counselling session.

this is a definite hopefully loud cry for help.
im so insecure, dammit.

there.

i told you already.

there you go.

i feel sick.


i hate the attitude my parents take to drama and the arts.
they are so practical-minded.
i just wanted to discuss my elective choices with them nicely.
ended as a showcase of their stigma against the arts and artists.
disgusting.

Ryan Adams - So Alive

im a drifter with no backbone to get out of it.
a loser.
fine then.
i just can't really live with the fact.

this is interesting.

a collection of beautiful haikus.

Butt-Head:

That was cool (huh-huh)

When we killed that frog (huh-huh)

It won't croak again

Hyde:

My heart aches with pain

When I see you I vomit

Die away from me

From Nickelodeon:

Boogers in my nose

Chickens dancing in my room

I can see your butt.

Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Take Me Home

just a quick one before nightmare and dreamscapes starts.

it aint bad. =)

i havent visited deviantart for such a long time!!

halloween's coming soon too.

Well, you saw for yourself, the way it played out.
For you, I am blinded.
For you, I am blinded, for you.

I am no gentleman, I can be a prick.
And I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love, and then love won't exist.

there are so many things going through my mind right now...to name each one of them would be a headache and a disaster at the same time.

emotions are really a blur of colour mixing and intertwining at the same time. there's seriously no other way to describe it.
i just realise that there is this undercurrent of uncertainty and dread that lingers under my skin.

youre right, i do think too much.
now what?

Robyn & Cleerup - With Every Heartbeat

what an aimless shimmering happy day for me.
i've got an idea - should i put songs as the title of the post?
sounds interesting.

did we finish our card game? because i wanna play a new round. still a level 5 pony =)
gonna emcee either the symposium or welcome tea. dont remember the welcome tea at all tho...XP
so exciting.

fun? not exactly.
but im still hoping yeah?

im becoming more and more antisocial...music's taking over my life and for the first time i dont want it to be. but at the same time i'm so scared that i'll face certain people online. people that i dont want to meet, because im scared that they'll end up disappointing me again.

logging in.

god i hate sleeping late. like now.
fuck.
so angry with my bro.

seriously.

spendspendspend!!!

i have almost absoutely no regrets buying THE ARCADE FIRE's new album NEON BIBLE. oh my god. 46.9 minutes of almost heaven. they send chills down my spine when i hear them. even better live.
well, maybe they didnt live up to funeral, but we all must learn to lower our expectations once in awhile. after all, langarts is useful.

went out with kevin, lucas, gabriel and darrren today...had more fun than i expected! bowling was great...although its weird when everyone's staring at you expecting a strike XD
after the movie Mr Woodcock, we went to Subway. i forgot that we were going there after the movie and bought myself a hotdog for lunch! quite friggin expensive. jeez. now i have $3.95 for the rest of the week...one dollar a day, should be able to maintain. hooray. i dont wanna be fat anymore.
as i was saying, we had a great long chat at Subway. i bought a double chocolate cookie. yumyum. talked for two hours about...stuff. oh, darren left right after the movie so he wasnt there.
did you know?? kevin's DUTCH. so cool!

amazing amazing day now that i look back. thank you.
this has been a most very quite fulfilling day.

cards tomorrow, then need to plan for our outing, dear sarah.

Arcade Fire - The Well and The Lighthouse

just got back from a weekend campout with my parents.
needless to say, hated it lots.
they beat my self-confidence down to almost nothing.
i'll keep praying.

thank god the weekend's over...
now cant wait for the holidays to come. then can really go haywire.
i just hope i dont get in the way of myself again.
and, i need people to go haywire with! =) anyone interested?

thanks guys.
rock on.

am i selfish? like, really?

my parents sure think so.

ive been sorting out things.
i really dont need you to come into my life right now.
leave me alone.

the best way of forgetting someone is not remembering.

although its sad, its the only way ive found.

seems fine though it aint no no no no
seems fine though it aint no no
I got to find me a way to flow
deep in the heart I'll seek and find it all.

-The Concretes - Seems Fine-

GOODBYE MS LOW.
I'LL MISS YOU.

i really dont know what to do!
maybe its partly cuz today was such a terrible boring day...i was so useless in helping the class.

dont think, dont think.
that's what makes yasmin so happy. yes.
but i cant help thinking!
what if he didnt come along?
would i have gone?
would i have enjoyed myself?
or am i better staying at home?

i went down and bought Ben and Jerry's icecream to try to cheer myself up.
its 11 bucks, my mom better pay me back.
she owes me for not getting me to express my opinions and thoughts.
the self esteem thing again.


talked to amanda again. its surprising how both of us are so alike...and we are feeling the negative effects of so many things. im just so insecure. someone just come along and guide me please. someone that i can feel comfortable with, given my weird personality.

Attention: Battery Low.
everytime the phone flickers, i get so distracted.
how dumb.

Someone To Love - Nelly Furtado

back from watching I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry. funny funny show.

the RING.
no corners!

exams are over.
scream and shout.

ive decided to *try* to cheer up, since someone doesnt really care about anything that's going on.

thank you asyraf cynthia kevin rachel and yasmin (in alphabetical order) for so constantly tagging on my blog. words cannot describe how appreciated i feel when i see ur tags. =)
and anybody else too who feels that they view/tag my blog often, drop me a tag too.
dont keep silent, cuz the blogger wont know that you care about him/her.

sorry for not replying tags, sometimes there are too many tags and if i reply them all its gonna be really messy for the reader.
unless you want me to.

cheers. =)

im feeling very down.
a break up of sorts.

that's it.
over.
zip.

Let it die and get out of my mind
We don't see eye to eye
Or hear ear to ear

Don't you wish that we could forget that kiss
And see this for what it is
That we're not in love

The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start

It was hard to tell just how I felt
To not recognize myself
I started to fade away

And after all it won't take long to fall in love
Now I know what I don't want
I learned that with you

The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start
The tragedy starts from the very first spark
Losing your mind for the sake of your heart
The saddest part of a broken heart
Isn't the ending so much as the start


Feist - Let It Die

hope you're at least feeling something.
live your life well and i'll be content.

no pretentiousness this time.

its over. its finally over.
i dont care, its over.
im going to fail chem i think. but i dont care.
lit rocked.
i think (and i hope, really) that i'll do well for literature.
give me back the inspiration that you owe me. and the courage.
im not going to wait any more.
or else i wont have the chance.
from you.

Keane - She Has No Time.
brilliant.

cynthia actually complimented me on my nick. =DDDDDD

no one's ever done that before. haha i feel so high. that,
at least someone saw =)

overblogging. but nvm. everyone, get to facebook!

edit.
im feeling very contented.
i did many interesting things today that i havent been doing for a long time.
and my mind is back.
i feel refreshed.
new.
thanks.
although i mustve looked very unglam during the run. grr i hate looking unglam =P

oh, if i havent been mentioning it enough, get facebook!