Unsettled

This one word has been rolling around in my head, my heart and my prayers for the last few years. At first it started like this:
"Lord, I'm so unsettled...help me feel settled. Help me find 'home'. Help me find peace."
And now, even though life is still crazy and I would love to feel 'home' and 'peace', I'm aware of something much bigger.

God doesn't want me to be comfortable and complacent. Especially when that comfort and complacency consist of not-enough-time-with-Him and eat-drink-whatever-I-want-and-be-lazy.

I'm re-reading a wonderful book- "Made to Crave" by Lysa Terkeurst. It's changing me from the inside out. In Chapter 1 she points out something simple, yet shattering. "We crave what we eat."  The obvious reference here is food- if we eat sugar, we crave sugar; if we eat junk food, we crave junk food, but if we can get ourselves to eat healthy for a good amount of time, amazingly, we crave (gasp!) healthy food! The spiritual significance of this hit me hard. I'm not craving time with God (although I can feel the void from not taking it) because I'm not 'eating' it. When I truly put my relationship with God first...when I spend time talking with Him and reading His word, then I truly DO crave that. And my soul is happy.

Lysa also says that a lot of us find ourselves spiritually malnourished, while our physical self is over-nourished. Oh boy. She's got me pinned.

So this unsettling now, it's a good thing. I'm asking God to get in my heart...to shake me up. To clean out my complacency...my excuses...my laziness. I want Him to turn me upside down and make me uncomfortable so that I can grow. So that I can shake this hold that food has over me, and turn those cravings to God.

Let the 'unsettling' begin!