I've found a friend who died for me

"This is the message we have heard from Him and announce to you, that God is Light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth; but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us." - 1 John 1:5-10

Heavenly Papa! I know that i'm not always in the Light. However, grant me the strength to do so. To persevere and to have a resolve within. A fortitude that shows Your glory. For what if i stumble, what if i fall? What if i lose my step and make a fool of us all as christians? Will Your love continue when my walk becomes a crawl? Yes. I know it will.

"The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable."

Have i become one of those christians? Have my actions and lifestyle been contrary to what i believe in my heart and confess with my lips?

Thank You Father. Let me learn to be a Jesus Freak! A freak for Jesus. I'm not going to care what they are going to say or do to me. If i have to die for it then, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

Lord, if this pain can be taken away from me, please let it be. Yet, if it isn't, let it be for Your glory and Your glory alone. Help me to overcome my emotions and move on Lord. To be a Spirit-led machine always ready to do what's meant to be done. Yet, i do know that what makes this machine perfect are its imperfections. I thank You Lord for giving me free choice; A free will to believe, to choose, to feel, to make mistakes and learn from them.

Strengthen me oh Lord, as i pull myself together once again for another series of battles to fulfill Your purpose in me. For what can separate me from Your love? Neither peril nor sword, drought nor famine, lack nor strife, yes, not even death!

As i faced the down members of the war, the beaten members of those who left the faith, as i looked to the responsibilities i have upon my shoulders and how i've been losing touch with them, i can't help but be broken. So broken, everything seemed impossible... "As I look up the mountains of self, where does my help come from!?"

I wondered to myself this day, "When will i be able to do big things? When will i learn the depth of God's love towards me? When will i improve on my management? When will i be able to BECOME the MAN God WILLS me to be?" When can i be the preacher i see myself groomed into? When will my core convictions be in line with my desired convictions and presented in my public convictions? When will my doubts not cause grief but serve its purpose to strengthen my faith instead? When will i truly believe in the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen?

Oh Lord, my desires, my wants, my aims, goals and plans, i lay them at Your feet right now. I don't wanna take them back, i don't wanna think about them at all. Even when i dream, let me dream not of what i want to have done but what You will of me!

My Father, lastly, help me to love again. I have lost the will to love. i know it sounds silly Lord but truly, i've lost my heart suddenly. I don't seem to be able to love as much as before. please restore that to me and help me see what You see in me. Help me to love as You love me. I thank You Father. I love You & i lift all these to You in Jesus' name, Amen.

The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there. —L.P. Hartley, The Go-Between

What’s past is prologue. —Shakespeare, The Tempest

Why doesn’t the past decently bury itself, instead of sitting waiting to be admired by the present? —D.H. Lawrence, St. Mawr

Why do i admire my past? Why do i look back on things that bring forth an emotional stir? If i view it as a prologue, then let it be so. A prologue that's discontinued and incoherent. A main body that's totally irrelevant and different and an epilogue that is no less than the glory decided by one who's infinitely unfathomable..

Give it lesser credit Glenn and push on for the present for the hope and definite promise of a greater future. Love You Lord!

One point has already been proved: Everything that happened once can happen again. —Jacobo Timerman, Prisoner Without a Name, Cell Without a Number

In times like these do i need to consider each option and tread with careful thinking and spiritual contemplation.

Every minute matters now Glenn. Every minute...

The past is a great story to be told. Many people know about it but few have lived through it. I'm glad i did. I will never wanna take away any of these memories and toss them anywhere else!

Well, as i pondered,
i saw opportunities taken and chances missed.
I saw hurts and wounds that ran so deep.
I saw betrayals and mountains steep
i saw friendships gained and relationships lost,
i saw people who were here today and gone tomorrow,
i saw regret for those who aren't saved yet
i saw the desires & passions that aren't met

i heard the voices that influenced who i am today
i heard the groans of those who still bleed
i heard the whispers i never did heed
i heard about the bruised reed

i envisioned a new tomorrow
i concluded a minute of old
i remembered my Creator; One many people weren't told
i entrusted my life to Him again
Oh i love Him so!

i felt a vibe so near, i thought it was real
i know of a nearer rib, i know it IS real
In these many soak in sadness
But in these,i saw the greatness

Greatness of One; Greatness of all!
Without You, we can never stand tall!

So through the doors i seek for You
A never-ending journey of righteousness
For never shall i seek the old again
For behold! The old has gone, the new has come!

My Covenant Pledge to God and to all,
Till i stand blameless before them all!