The Last Day of 2007. Reflections?

Well, I am doin this while waiting for yet another round of NavyField to start. Hehe. Lil' ol' me still addicted to games. On this last day of 2007, what shall I blog about?

A reflection on my 19 years, perhaps. Yet another one, probably one of many, because I must have written about this at some point, especially lately. Come to think of it I'll probably talk about the same things: How sucky my life is, using gaming, anime and stuff as a form of escapism, my bad results making a lot of things troublesome. Whatever. Just like the canvas shelters I have extending over my pseudo-balcony. They used to be pristine, all new and whole, but now they are tattered and torn, battered by years of sun, wind and rain, and the various birds that have walked across it, or fought on it. It's pretty bad now, both the shelters, with pieces flapping in the wind, even. True enough, I never really observed they were that tattered until recently. Wanted to take a photo of it, but am too lazy to do so and upload. Haha. Oh well...

LAN party with my Dunman High friends (6 of us, yesterday), was excellent. For once I can play with a group of people who don't even want to touch DotA. We BF2ed nearly all the way... A hellotta fun indeed. *sighs* I really cherish all these, come to think of it. My friends made in Dunman High, VJ, and to a certain extent, Tao Nan (although I have lost contact with quite a few. Guilty as charged!) Ah...

So in the end, this is a blog about nothing, a reflection of a reflection of nothingness. What am I talking about? Approximately 32 minutes to the new year. Not going to any countdowns, just like 2005. (I was at classmates' gathering in '06, saw the fireworks at Singapore River area, jam packed full of people... I escorted my classmate home along with the others, hung out at MacDonalds till morning, then slipped back home to have a sleep from 0700 to 1200. I still remember. Hehe!) Maybe I will watch the countdown for a bit here. New Year's resolutions? I don't make them, because I don't follow them.

May we all have a good year ahead! Seriously. :) Leave ending soon, time to go back to the military life once again.

Chocolat & Akito Chocolat & Akito the brilliant green aaaahhh....

Merry Christmas! (yeah...delayed. :P)

The Inante (my orientation sub-group during my time in VJC) dinner 10 days ago was good. Honestly I'm quite amazed that we still manage to meet up after so long... there are groups who've lost touch with each other right after orientation. Maybe it's because of the many outings we have gone on. Maybe it's just because of us... :) While on my way there, I passed by the BreadTalk outlet at CityLink. That day they had two girls and a guy who were singing Chinese pop songs modified to promote BreadTalk. They ended their medley of songs as I passed by, and were beginning to advertise (New products rolled out for Christmas?) to the gathere crowd, some filming with camera phones and the like. Well the girls were pretty much acting cute, and nearly every other line ended with "So... BreadTalk rocks..." or something like that. o_o. Oh well. *shrugs* Whatever.

Since the last post, MSET Phase I had ended, and my leave has started. These few days were a fog which passed by quickly. I was basically playing NavyField and watching anime and the like the whole damned day, and replaying my Warhammer 40k collection. I only just re-watched Equilibrium (the 2002 movie starring Christian Bale) today! As for Christmas, well, I guess it was well spent with my maternal cousins. A gathering plus overnight stay at aunt's house the night before, then a movie on Christmas Day (Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium - Ratings were bad, and, in my opinion, the movie will perhaps be one of the forgettable ones. It's a feel-good family movie, but the plot is rather... simple and bland. Then poof! It ended.). We walked down Orchard road gawking at the floats lined up for the "Celebrate Christmas in Singapore" event, but I was looking at people instead of the floats (Chingay had better ones :P). Spotted Jasmine (I think that's her name :P, the one who took Geography :P) with a male companion there. Still as pretty as ever, hahaha. :)

And that's about it. Play play play slack slack slack. A fog indeed, heh. My civilian Class 3 driving test happens in 11 hours' time, and I think I should get some sleep. *sighs* I'm probably going to fail... lets see where this takes us. Hate having tests. Ugh.

Rage Against The Machine

There's much I want to talk about, but once again, too lazy to really put it out in detail. Needless to say there's been a couple of things I have been worrying about. Other than that, life is good. Searching once again for an MMO to occupy my time. Other than that, nothing to report.

Well, one good thing that happened was that the MPH branch at Parkway was taken over by Borders (I think so), and Borders finally opened there. Well-organised, and fucking lots of books and stuff. I felt so high visiting it for the first time on Friday. Spotted a mother lode of Dale Brown books, and bought those I didn't have the next day. Time to do some serious crunching on his books!

Don't think there's anything else I'd like to add, hmm. End of post.

Me Against The World (Rant)

I slipped back to my previous ways. Computer on -> lie on bed -> fall asleep with computer and lights on -> parents shut off lights and PC (shouldn't have, I would have woken up to do it), left my Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War Anthology on my desk (three fucking games in one fucking box) and now the entire thing's missing. Hidden by my mother, or thrown away. I don't fucking know, and I turned the house upside down (okay, maybe not so much) to search for it but failed. I want my game back! Call me addicted, or whatever fuck, but what's mine is mine. I thought these would end when I stopped being a student (this is not the first time my crazy mother has hidden my computer games or peripherals - I have managed to get around it before, but for now I've failed. If she really has thrown a $75 fucking box of THREE ORIGINAL GAMES down the fucking drain then I have no fucking choice but to fucking buy the fucking game again, and maybe get the expansion, Soulstorm when it comes out too (looks like only "fuck" is in my vocabulary of swear words. FUCK!). Maybe I should even "borrow" the $75 from her.)

Gaming has been a very major factor in causing my life to slip since Secondary 3. I am where I am today because of poor self-discipline, due to my insatiable lust for hedonist delights (Am I really that bad? Is this the right analysis? Am I ready to accept it? Can I believe it? Oh, just what is it?) -> that sounds damned horrible. I'll be damned! I always reflect a lot but end up lazy to spit it all out. Only works for essays but Ive been out of that business for a while now.

Anyway, reason why I can blog today is because I'm on this course called MSET (Maintenance Skills Enhancement Training) for my vehicle. It's a stay-out course (with us possibly being the last batch of stay-outers) so I get to go home and slack (a few hours, better than nothing). First day impressions: Paradise! (versus life in the 3rd Signals Battalion -> of course, the regimentation at Sembawang Camp still exists -> feels even worse than during the driving course, strange huh? Maybe it's just me.), But rather complicated with all those vehicle parts you have to get accquainted with. *sighs* A two-week course probably means everything will be crammed in, and time always flies when you're enjoying something.

Bless us all, I wish I didn't have anything to worry about. I really want to escape. Rantrantrant. I am calm now, BUT I WANT MY GAMES BACK. WHAT IS SHE GOING TO DO NEXT? DO I HAVE TO CART MY PC TO CAMP?

EDIT: Why do I blog? Haven't found the true answer till now (have I asked myself this before?) Certainly it was to jump onto the bandwagon before, but now, letting it out at times through blogging seems like a good idea. Only a few people know about this anyway, the rest stumble across it. Heh. Too lazy to keep a hand-written diary... Only you, the select few, my "inner circle"...

Null and Void

I feel that more and more of my nodemates dislike because of minor misunderstandings turned majpr. Mountains are being made out of molehills, and none of them wish to understand my side or hear me out. Not many would stand with me I think, and certain events have stressed me out quite a bit. I only hope these will resolve themselves over time, hopefully in a good way...

Otherwise, this entire week has been tiring with the Detachment Proficiency Tests and whatnot. I caused trouble for people again due to my ineptness, and I am angry with myself for that, which was why I cried, not because I was shouted at and such. I can take those, but I don't want to be a burden to others... what can I do?

Company cohesion was pretty scary since there was alcohol all-around. I was dragged to consume approximately two cans of Tiger Beer. Being a bad drinker (I don't usually consume alcohol like water :P), those nearly got me. I was sober, but on the taxi ride home (had to send a really drunk nodemate back to his home) I started getting nauseous. Vomitted outside his house; that was a moment where I felt really vulnerable and helpless. I went back to my own home, and, unable to take it any further, I fell asleep at the staircase. Fortunately a passing neighbour woke me up (I must have looked pretty shabby) and helped bring my stuff upstairs... before I managed to drag my ass up to bathe, and fall alseep.

I give thanks for the existence of friends whom I've made outside of the army who give me support during these trying times. May we stick together. Thank you all!

I'm not that lonely after all, am I?

EDIT: I must note again (I should have noted this before, in my post on or around 31/12/2006) that alcohol reduces the inhibitions of people. Some who usually don't talk to me were friendly to me just for that few moments. Others get into alcohol-induced highs and danced... I was, for a while, putting on an act (according to my memories), as though I was high. But I was sober. Just that I haven't vomitted like that for a while, ever since the last time I was so sick that I actually had to vomit.

Life is really a rollercoaster at times...

Drained

The past week was full of drills and practices for our upcoming Detachment Proficiency Test. I can only HOPE that we all meet our time limits for setting up and taering down, although I doubt that'd happen. So tiring...

Condolences to the families of the five dragon boaters who drowned in Cambodia's Tonle Sap. The singular loss, at one time, of 5 fine young men is sad indeed. There is a particular article in the newspaper today which (if I had the time and the balls to do it) I had liked to retype in its entirety, or at least, parts of it, but still, my heart goes out to these people. Like they say, it's only when things happen closer to home that you sit up and pay attention to it.

And a random lady started talking to me on the bus today. Something about it being bad to sit at the back of the bus because you might just lurch forward and fall off when the bus driver brakes, especially if you were sleeping... and that it used to be terribly warm sitting at the back thanks to the engine (bus engines are still rear-mounted, I believe?), and that the training provided to men in NS is good.

*sighs* It's going to be yet another tiring week next week, and I have guard duty tomorrow. What a waste! I'd have preferred it on a weekday... Life is just droning away and passing just like that. Heh. Plot thickens in Gundam 00. :) Ah well...

EDIT: Oh, and congratulations to myself for passing 5000 hits? :P

Lost in Space

One week full of parade rehearsals and the actual CO COC (Commanding Officer Change-of-Command) parade. Screwed up on the actual day in front of our Division Commander, a Brigadier-General, thanks to the contingents in front that were marching at a slwoer pace than normal. As such, we didn't have time to form up as the music ended. The parade commander missed out a portion of one of his commands too, so all in all the parade wasn't perfect. So much for all the hard work put in. Oh well.

I'm getting bored. Sick of this... The differences that exist amongst us enlistees and between us and the the specialists; our detachment commanders... There's bound to be collateral damage. I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm totally lost. No aims, no goals either. Damn...

What can I do? I'm not as focused as before (started losing it in Secondary 3, heh.). Signing off.

Baptism of Fire (I think I used this title before...)

Slack days of nothingness as the Audit went on. Then Wednesday we started to prepare for an exercise (don't think I can reveal the name here, heh.). It was so last-minute! Word was that the higher-ups wanted it to *ahemshowahemoffahemahemhowcoughcapablehesneezeisahemahem*, but hey, it IS the first exercise for many of us, even our platoon commanders. So it was a good learning experience, that Thursday and Friday. Pointless nights off, then Remedial Training (RT) on Saturday. Short bookout since we also had to do some stuff for the Change-of-Command (COC) parade coming up soon.

7 months into the army, 440+ more days to ORD. Just got promoted to Lance Corporal! Not that it matters a lot; it doesn't even affect any part of our lives except for that measly pay rise of $20. Ahh, whatever. Life is a bitch, but it still goes on.

Some people, I really doubt I can get along with... Heh.

Need a source of bookout entertainment soon. Signing off.

So short...

Still got to bookout, thankfully. But most likely there's RT next week (am I in?)... Plus the fact that we're booking in early today makes the bookout seem even shorter. This is going to be a llllloooooooonnnnggg week...

Weekend burn!

Probably the only bookout this week (Yay for Deepavali), but parts of it eaten up by guard duty. I have been rostered for guard again tomorrow (change of plans, thank you higher-ups! :S). And with a possible RT (remedial training) session on Saturday and early book-in on Sunday (thank you Audit, thank you higher-ups for wanting to do last minute shit stuff!). my weekend's burnt. If RT continues, maybe the next few weekends too. It's so annoying. Gonna sign off now. Aargh.

Delusions of grandeur (haven't I used this before?!?)

Nothing big happened this week save for the mega tekan-session that was the turnout that marked the end of UIP. We got turned out twice, once at around 2330 (fire drill) and the real one at about 0200. We had massive change-parades, knocking it down (i.e. pushups) from our bunk all the way downstairs when each time limits were up, ran around the parade square, more pushups, jumping jacks, crunches and whatnot... for about 3 to 4 hours. Fortunately the rain saved us from the worst of it all, plus the lack of time cancelled my biggest worry - route march (Hopefully there won't be any in the future). And with that, UIP ended. We had the OFL patch (whatever OFL means? I call it the Division badge) and (navy blue) beret presentation in a parade after that, and finally were given the official welcome to 3 Signal Battalion. Things won't change much, that's certain (and we were told so), and our privileges would have to be "unlocked" by meeting certain standards. We had a nights' off awarded to us that night but I didn't go since there wasn't much places to go around Jurong anyway, plus I felt like lazing around in the bunk (to rest, obviously. My feet hurt).

And then we continue to prepare for our audit. Friday marked my first time giving the routine orders as the COS (Company Orderly Sergeant). I was actually standing in for the original COS, who had other matters to attend to. I didn't know I had to give the routine orders during last parade, and when they shouted for me, I was like, shocked. So I ran down, and conducted it as best as I could (pretty nervous, heh). Hehehe.

Bookout, and slacking around at home. Finished watching Sentou Yousei Yukikaze (戦闘妖精雪風, it's perfect!), a review to procrastinate for one day. Satisfied a sudden craving for ice-cream, but the mint + chocoloate got boring after a while. I dunno, but certain types of food seems to taste good for the first few bites, then gets boring after that for me. I guess I can add cone ice-cream to that list. But it ain't gonna stop me from eating it. :P

Oh, and I have readers! Yahoo! :) Signing off.

Random thought: How I wish my life was as exciting as Yukikaze's, and as slack as Sky Girls'. I want to fly...

What does it mean to be human? What is humanity? What is life?

BIIIIG question up there. Lots of things have happened in-camp this week. It passed especially fast since we weren't training, but helping out with Company admin and things like that, putting our creative juices to use. I helped out with the Company notice board and designed the safety poster (with army buddies), which (I think) won the intra-battalion safety poster design competition. Yay for colour pencils! It CAN beat photorealisitic posters, or maybe I am just dreaming?

Spending your birthday in camp is incredibly boring, though for the past few years my birthdays have all been boring. In fact, it's just liek any other day. A hidden blessing, perhaps since I was doing my familiarisation driving on that day and could escape from my battalion life, even if for just a few hours. Boy, the drivers' side is like, heaven, to say the least. *sighs* Then there was the birthday turnout, where we were tossed out of bed at midnight ostensibly to check our field pack items for waterproofing, before the of us 3 birthday boys got splashed by the water in the buckets. Ugh. (Or maybe they did that as an afterthought?)

And then there was this incident, which was minor to begin with, but it soon became a mountain from a molehill because the commanders were made known to this and the underlying causes. The entire node had a discussion, which got heated at times, but IMO it came to no conclusion. Things will stay the way they are. Cliques will remain. I, one of the "not in clique" people, will probably still get dissed behind my back (Didn't I say I hate backstabbers? But I feel I am one sometimes). Hopefully we all can work together still...

...I'd rather be with my BMT buddies. Spent Saturday night at the Marina Bay branch of Chin Huat Live Seafood with 3 others, talking loads of cock over steamboat. That is better, so much better. Didn't know Shou Chen became a sniper. Like, wow!

What else to say? Probably nothing much. Signing off then...

I am insecure.

A full week has passed. I say, "oh, I need to change my attitude!" but I see no end. We train, we do this and that, we get punished, and so it goes. Turnouts are nerve-wracking for me, and I keep waking up at least once every night. I don't have the time to go into details (as usual, making a late post when I actually want to post a lot of things), but it'll suffice to say that life sucks. Each day really just passes us by.

So what is the difference between an officer, specialist, and an enlisted soldier (talking about NSmen here, not regulars)? The grades? Physical fitness? Discipline? Attitude towards things? I've been trying to think it through and poke at it whenever I find the time to do it (and such little time, before sleep takes over), but I don't get no answer. Of course, this body concludes that everyone works towards a common goal...

I slept off a lot of the bookout. So tiring... Gundam 00 looks to be pretty okay thus far, having seen two episodes of it. Should I download it? Hehehe... before it gets licensed. Maybe I'll start to do reviews again. Who knows?

I'm actually an unconfident, insecure guy deep down, and I need my friends by my side, be it to continually affirm that I'm on good relations, or to help me, and things like that. Paranoia isn't helping me, and things haven't been looking good lately. I feel like a misfit. So help me...

Who are my true buddies? I have failed so much, so far.

Into the breach... (Have I used this before?)

Only two days into actual UIP life and I can foresee worse to come (We spent the first two days doing miscellaneous stuff while waiting for the majority to return from driving course). Punishments, setting-up drills, footdrill... and we haven't even gotten down to physical training yet. Oh dear, oh dear...

Booking out on Thursday was a bonus, but marred by the expectation of a certain... recall which never came (can this be talked about?). I realised that coffee shops can be dangerous places, because a foreign agent might just be lurking around and trying to pick up useful intelligence from the conversations going on around him, be it peopel talking to each other, or on the phone. Damn! Come to think of it, no place is safe, if you want to be *that* paranoid.

Read about the last episode of School Days... being broadcasted at a later date because its violent ending is similar to a recent murder in Kyoto (why did she murder her Dad?). Did some research (Wikipedia xD :P) on it, and boy, it's violent indeed! Both the game, and the anime. It's rather scary. Losing your mind completely to commit a gruesome murder...

Completed Freelancer.

Eunice's blog entries (see link at right) have been rather thought-provoking lately. The entry and comments on when would be a good time to strike out on your own and not live with your parents did provoke a sense of guilt within me. I'm a parasite, heh. I don't have much comments on it because I have no experience to share, and no idea what really is the right time or whatnot, hence this paragraph which doesn't make any sense at all. Hmm... confused?

Kim Wakerman's looking prettier than ever! Oh my... Hehe evil pervert! :P

Seriously, with every passing day in the Army, my desire to sign on diminishes. But that was what I've always been dreaming about (signing on) since young... or maybe it's just me trying to escape my problems. What now? Am I too negative? I need a change of attitude, perhaps.

Not that I'm slamming the SAF or anything.

Got Star Wars: The New Essential Guide to Vehicles and Vessels. Thank you Aneru! xDxD

*sighs* Everyday passes just like that. I have no plans for the future. Too laid-back? Yet another series of random paragraphs. My posts weren't this bad before, no? The style has changed too, now I do blog for people to read, not just myself. And so ends another depressing, random rant-post. Should I participate in this "Blog Action Day" thing? Hmm.

EDIT: I just realised the deadline is tomorrow. I'm too lazy to post about the environment (this year's theme) now, so too bad... Maybe next year?

Boku wa Jigoku ni ikimashita. (I have entered Hell) -> Lazy to use Japanese text so I used romaji instead :P.

WHen you get used to the stay-out life, suddenly returning to stay-in feels sucky and all. So it DOES matter after all. And I've stepped back into 3rd Signals Battalion, where hell awaits in UIP (Unit Induction Programme). Aargh. Much as I try to remind myself this is all part of our training, I somehow don't believe it. I complain... I dislike it. This is all part of our duty I guess, but...

No choice. Gotta get used to it. Bah.

Just finished watching Lucky Star. You know the feeling you get when a good anime finishes? The sad, sad feeling... I always live vicariously through my anime. How I wish to be living amongst my characters... how I wish there was a parallel universe to jump into, and perhaps never return... Oh...

If only.

Bzzzt. Reality check.

Oha~Lucky! (Aargh! A truly random title! Then again my post titles were never related to the posts... :P)

After procrastinating for so long I finally posted. A final thank-you to the people who've I've met and passed, or who've stayed along with me throughout my life thus far, from friends, teachers, instructors, and commanders and whatnot. Especially (the main point of this current thank-you :P) with the recent driving course, training all of us from newbies to drivers in what, 5 weeks? Mmm. The stay-out has been enjoyable thus far, although travelling is a hassle and having to go to sleep early and such. Ugh.

Had dinner at Tatsu (Sushi?) at Chinese Swimming Club on Saturday with my dad. We went adventurous and just asked the sushi chef (correct term?) at the counter for recommendations. We had a nice, long chat with him, mostly food-related, and about his home (Pahang, Malaysia). This Mr Andy Kok sure is passionate about his occupation, even going as far as teaching customers how to eat and enjoy Japanese food the proper way (i.e. not dunk every damn thing in whatever sauces). Passionate people is what we need, really. Needless to say, I'm rather impressed...

Then there was the day off given to me and 6 others on Children's Day (Oct 1st. :P) A stroke of luck indeed, and made full use of. Although I chose the wrong time to return to VJC (exam time, JC1s not in school, JC2s mugging, rather empty and gloomy). Was walking around in my Smart No. 4, heh! Met up and chatted with some juniors and a couple of teachers, ate, and went home. Didn't spot any JC1 girls worth looking (AHAHAHAHA pervy ol' me. Just kidding!).

Back to camp tomorrow. And Jing Yi tells me of an article in The Age (an Australian newspaper) about Singapore's involvement in SUPPORTING the Myanmar junta. I am too lazy to comment on the situation. But aaannnnyyywaaaayyy, I dislike the tone of the article. Already at the start it has proven itself to be subjective, not objective. I won't know how accurate the claims made are, but it sucks. For more details please visit her blog.

Other than that, I should be signing off now.

EDIT: Finally, some anime that piques my interest (nothing has, for a long while). Lucky Star! xD

Passed!

Well by a HUGE stroke of luck I passed my SAF Driving Test. Will be getting the Class 4 Driving Permit soon I guess. Somehow staying out has become rather important... Hehe! Interim thank-yous to DIs first, more to come later :P (not empty promises, I must remind myself).

Title? What Title?

A little bit more time warrants a little bit more blogging, perhaps? Little moments like this still make me feel proud to be a soldier, after all, despite whatever hardships we may face (not so much now if you really want to compare) and the darker side of things one experiences...

Saturday

Coffeeshop Drinks Stall Uncle: Eh, what can I get for you?
Me: One Green Tea please, uncle.
Uncle: Okay. What camp you in ah?
Me: Oh, er, Jurong Camp.
Uncle: Jurong ah... Area III Command is it? Signaller?
Me: Yeah... plus learning driving now lah.
Uncle: We need men like you! *pats my back*

-> This doesn't count as revealing information, does it?

Heh. I'd like to believe that was a genuine appreciation of the efforts of the SAF in defending the nation's sovereignty and whatnot. National Service is something that binds men together, the old can always talk about NS with the younger, no? And so it goes.

On the other hand, my paranoia isn't making life exactly good, when I wonder about how every action I do might affect my impression and standing among others. I doubt things and people and seek extra confirmation and become rather annoying, I think. I realise I have changed t become like this, it wasn't like that before. Very much so, perhaps in this last few years... I think too much.

And then things don't seem to well on the family side. A small tidbit of information can be found on Eunice's blog. Yes, THAT Eunice. Now why am I even blogging about this?

Final push at HSP before I can go for the SAF Driving Test... for the Class 3 and 4 permit. Ending post here. Doesn't seem too long now, does it?

PS: Thank you to everybody who has been a help in guiding me and perhaps, shaping my character (the good sides of it). This is a quick thank-you, details probably when even more time permits and when I... actually do it (I've always wanted to thank people, like teachers, sergeants, course commanders and whatnot, but in the end I lose steam with the idea. How bad can I get? Ugh me. :(). Bah, how shameful.

Prologue to Suffering... (coming soon)

I headed straight to Parkway Parade for lunch yesterday after booking out, still in my Smart No. 4 and field pack. After finishing lunch, I went home (obviously). That was when I saw 7 police officers (the STAR team? Special Operations Command?) patrolling, all dressed in coveralls, body armour, and wielding MP5s and M-16s. So here I was, an army boy, walking past the 6 of them and their sergeant. I swear all of them were looking at me as I walked past. :P I thought about similing to the sergeant but passed him before I could do so. Hehe. Oh well... whatever.

Yesterday was my first time consuming a coffee-based beverage in its entirety as well, done after celebrating my maternal grandmother's birthday at some NYDC place with my cousins. It was some latte, I think. It somehow made me really queasy (nauseous) on the bus home, and I was kept awake till 3am. It's like, I felt sleepy but my eyelids had no intention of shutting! Oh dear...

Today just flew past like that.

Hurry up and post!

Words bearing random thoughts, too little time to put them into comprehensible sentences: what makes us human? the memories we cherish?: cue jacky's guess show on couples, crying, memories? why must we serve? 1SIR... o.o Pavarotti and Fossett.

Star Wars Essential Guide to Vehicles, anyone?

HSP sucks. outmoded equivalent to Advanced Theory, push cars around on piecs of cardboard, depend on luck. baad.

What else?

Down to Odex!

It's all about your attitude when it comes to driving (i.e. on this course). Still, my slow reflexes and my occasional lack of attention plus the fact that I lose my composure during "situations" make things difficult. I still get fucked, yadda yadda yadda, but I'm going to have to drive the 3-tonners soon. God bless... Military driving is so much different from civilian driving, it isn't easy for me to adapt between both of them. Passing time watching others play PSP has increased my desire to own one, but I just don't want to get one yet. I should bring in a few books to read but agin, I'm too lazy to take action. :P Whatever. Life goes on, and each day passes just like that.

Did nothing interesting over the weekend.

Death is deliverance.

The past week marks my first full week of the Class 3/4 Driving Course. It gets sucky when you have instructors who are like demons inside the vehicles and fuck you around when you make the simplest of mistakes (not my Driving Instructor, he isn't too bad compared to others but it still sucks). Depends on how you look at things though, I get easily stressed. Failed the assessment for public road on the first try and got all emotional and cried for a bit, embarrassing myself for that. Then I got mad over it and recovered... Driving on the roads itself is way different from the circuit (although I've driven out there during my own private lessons, but I still make mistakes, and I worry. How easy it is for me to be involved in an accident...).

Apart from that, the humdrum of daily life...

Went out with dear aneru (thanks! really! xD) yesterday and spent the night walking and talking around the Esplanade/Marina Bay area. Then we discovered we had like, moles on similar places on our right arms, and to a lesser degree, the left (maybe the neck too, ne? :P). I don't have photos so too bad.

Next random topic for this weekend: Congratulations to Keely for making overall 2nd in the 2nd (am I right?) season of Campus SuperStar! What a loooong and arduous journey, no doubt. I wonder what Evonne (entrant in the first season, also from VJC) feels. Hehehehehe. Anyway this is good positive publicity for VJC once again. Yay! *evil grin*

And, one more: Saw part of "I Didn't Know That" on Discovery Channel today, about water. A short portion of how wellington boots (the waterproof ones?) are made, and an incredibly interesting segment on skipping stones on water. Yes, I know we can skip stones on water (the exact science covered in a strange formula shown in the programme which I don't understand :P) although I can't do it, and we've created bouncing bombs (so-called, utilised in WWII to attack dams protected by torpedo nets) through this theory. What I didn't know was that you can ski on water like, barefoot, or without the use of any board! Literally walking on water... you just need the correct techniques and the right velocity. Those people were really gliding through water barefooted, and even on their backsides (at 50+ km/h?). How cool is that?

I will read The Count of Monte Cristo when I have the time, maybe get the book...

That's all for now.

What's the title? I seem to have deleted it while editing. Now I forgot...

From last week:

Save from prank party

National Day Parade - ah, the pomp and festive spirit as we celebrate. Happy 42 Singapore!

Got my posting order to 3rd Singapore Division, 3rd Signals Battalion. I wished it had been the 2nd Batt instead of the 3rd, but this is the path I have to embark on. God bless.

This week:

Too lazy to blog much, just that 3rd Signals Battalion (henceforth referred to as 3 SIG) sucks balls, it's rather fierce there (almost like BMT - had to adjust after the slack we had gotten used to at Signals Institute). *sighs* Brief respite in the form of the Class 3/4 Driving Course which I have to go for, but Sembawang Camp isn't that good either, especially the food. I have low tolerance for spicy food and they only serve Muslim food everyday... it kind of gets boring too. Day after day passes, and we learn and learn, and slack off once again. Man... how's the rest of NS life going to be?

EDIT: Well, I guess being in Signals is still better than Infantry or Armour or whatever fiercer parts of the Army. Heh.
EDIT2: This was created on the 13th but posted on the 19th.

Three meetings.

Well, I'm just going to focus on three events over the course of Friday and Saturday. Not much to say for the rest of the days, they just pass by like that. So we had training for the Army Half Marathon on Friday, my platoon doing a 6 km (introductory?) training run at Pasir Ris Park. Since there was no timing to meet, I just jogged rrrreeeeallllyyyy slowly and watched the scenery pass by (not that there was much to see, but at least it's better than camp, plus bringing back memories of the past; I had been to Pasir Ris Park quite a few times when I was a kid, to cycle...). It's pretty nice to be alone with your thoughts, ignoring just about everything about you and putting one foot ahead of the other.

Fast forward to the end of the run, where my platoon was sitting in the shade resting and waiting for instructions. I was looking at the grass, not really doing much, when I heard my platoonmate Ivan next to me uttering, "Eh, Sir, Sir..." Wasn't really aware of what was happening until Colonel Tew See Mong, Commanding Officer, Signals Institute, sat down before us and talked for a few minutes. Oh dear... He had strode to us after his run, still in PT attire, and with an apple in hand. Then he sat down and started munching on the apple while talking to us, sharing a bit of his experiences back in his BMT days, where he and his buddies would head straight to the cinemas once they booked out of Pulau Tekong (tickets for Full-time National Servicemen were priced at $1.50 back in those days). He also sought some feedback for our training, and that we gave.

This may seem trivial to some, but it's like the first time I've experienced such a thing. A colonel having an informal chat with two privates... It's like a commoner meeting some lord or emperor at the marketplace (to speak in feudal terms). Mmm... Officers should never act high and mighty. :)

Booking out, I headed home, ate, and went to the clinic to get some medicine for my fever. And I met Dr. Ng Tsorng Chinn, the doctor whom I've always seen ever since I moved to Marine Parade, until I was 14. So that was how long ago he last saw me... 5 years. We had a little chat as I got my diagnosis and prescription. Always nice to see people you haven't seen for a long time.

Come Saturday, went to Muzzhafar's house for a 05S41 + Muzzie's friends barbeque. Since I was a little sick, I stayed away from like, 98% of the food in the interests of self-preservation. Less than half the class came, some unable to make it, while others already overseas pursuing further studies. Which came to the lowest point of that night, and perhaps the future as I brood about things. All of us chatted, and the main topics revolved around army life (among the guys, especially Samuel, who was drafted into the Commandos), or future plans (universities, where to stay, food, bla bla bla...), the latter which I was mostly unable to participate in. Some of my ex-classmates have changed (maybe they were always like that, but I failed to notice) in the past few months, having become more... refined? in the manner of speech, more... mature. While I'm probably still the same old me.

This would probably remained etched onto my mind for quite a while:
Michelle: So, Jiayu, what are your plans?
Me: Er, well... no plans... yet (nervous laugh).
Me: Private unis don't reserve places for you, so I only can apply after I ORD. Haven't really looked into overseas unis yet.
Michelle: But did you apply (implied - to the 'big 3' unis: NUS, NTU, SMU)?
Me: Yah. All fail.
Michelle: Did you appeal?
Me: Yah. All fail loh (nervous laugh).

I swore I blushed right there and then, even my ears were warm. Who do I have to blame? Myself. I feel pretty much inferior now...

PS: Driving manual cars suck. I simply lack the reaction time...

Rush rush rush!

I wish I had enough time to make a proper post but unfortunately I haven't. First of all, a huge 'thank you!' to Eunice for taking the time to comment on my blog (that makes you the 2nd commenter! Heh.) The moniker "Jamal" gos back a long way, somewhere during my secondary school days.

Outfield exercise was fun, since we were operating the radios for the first time outside the equipment labs. Despite the fact that my detachment was off the comms net most of the time... (or so they say)

VJC College Day: Congratulations to all prize winners! Bet all of you didn't know I actually took some time to go down to VJ...

NDP 2007 Preview: My mom managed to get tickets somehow. New, interesting concept. Simulated entries of MPs (Memebers of Parliament), Cabinet Ministers, our Senior Minister and Minister Mentor was especially cute, and I'm always a sucker for parades and ceremonies. Mmm.

Reminder of the day: Do not blog about sensitive stuff.

Lashing out!

This hasn't been a normal week. Many things have happened in the past few days. Firstly, the rescinding of some of our privileges at SI, namely the ordering of food from outside camp (I never used that privilege :P), the bringing in and consumption of food, the suspension of our Nights Off indefinitely (for my platoon) and the banning of PSPs. I'm not complaining, it's punishment fair and square because some people had overstepped the boundaries and gone beyond what was allowed. I won't say I'm totally innocent myself, with regards to the suspension of Nights Off, but the details shall not be made known. We'll just have to live without these... luxuries (read: luxuries, meaning they were granted to us on compassionate grounds)

Moving on to my lashing out at some backstabbers. If I act all weird and have emo outbursts, the four of you should tell me straight to my face. I might be insulted, but I will change, at least I try to. What makes it worse is that you insult my friend in the process, and try to get my buddy to isolate me. Now I don't know your side of the story, but to me that's simply unacceptable. Hmmm...

I thank the powers that be for letting me have good buddies by my side (Jon, Rey, Ed, KC... among others)

Just started some driving lessons too (though I'd most likely get to learn it in the army, but my mom is adamant that I learn). Hella difficult, what with clutch control and the million and one simple things I forget to do everytime. How am I going to pass my army driver course if I find the civilian one tough? Heh.

And a strange man I saw in the vicinity of Parkway, wearing some sort of bathrobe, lots of ornaments, and short, scrounging dustbins for drinks and cigarettes. He found half a cigarette, started lighting it up and puffed away happily, looking like he was on a high. I wonder why he does this. Hmm.

So many things to think about, all in my head, and lazy/not willing to put it down here. hectic week next week, our exercise is coming up. Got people to deal with, which means I'll most likely stay low and watch how things develop. I feel paranoid once again, but I shall have to sign off.

Old habits die hard.

Again passes another week. Tests coming up, with me screwing up on the Voice Procedures practical. Hopefully I still managed to pass it. In an unrelated event, the officer cadets have also arived at Stagmont for their Signal Officer course. More people = longer queues at the cookhouse for food = bad. Whatever. We, the operators, are warriors of the future (or so the higher-ups say) and they, the officers and commanders, shall lead us.

Speaking of leading and leadership, the SAF's (Singapore Armed Forces) image has been tarnished once again by the actions of two officers, news of which has been widely circulated in local media by now. Kudos to the media who somehow found out about this incident. Our commanders tell us no one is above the law, something which I'd like to believe in. Justification, perhaps? But we are human, and we tend to err once in a while. No organisation is perfect, and screw-ups happen. It's just whether it blows up, and shit matching coordinates with the fan, or not. Let me not talk too much about it lest I get into any trouble.

Saw an article in the newspaper on yesterday about the negative impacts of Live Earth. This was what I was looking for, reasons to cast scorn upon such an event. Noise pollution, litter left behind by people... old habits die hard ain't it? No doubt people are made more aware (does your awareness of problems plaguing our planet increase after hearing about Live Earth?), but the environmental footprint left behind by mankind during this event is simply frightening.

*sighs* Sometimes I feel that I'm getting increasingly bitter with what's been going on in my life. Bitterbitterbitterbittterbitter. Sad to say, the reason why I'm in this state is predominantly my fault, and I do not know how to carry on from where I am. I've reached a junction, split into many many little small trails. Which one should I follow? Or should I just open the door right beside me and run away and away and away?

I just hope Blizzard would hurry up and release Starcraft II already.

EXTRA: Thank you Kian Chong, Sandy and Samuel and the kind old man at the bus stop near Lido for lending me money so that I could catch a bus home. Without you people, I'd have to walk home... And also thank you Eunice (if you would allow me to address you as such) for replying to my comment on your blog. It'd be an honour if you can grace my tagboard with your presence (sounds a little too formal now, ain't it? :P). Go check her out at euniqueflair.com!

Life settles down.

Second week at SI. First Night's Off for us, which was spent at Lot 1, eating and playing some Xbox games with my bunkmates. It wasn't much, seriously, maybe for the few eyeful of girls you can catch here and there, reminding you of what you are fighting for :P (quoting once again, from Starship Troopers).

More things to study now, as the syllabus ramps up. Practical sessions are really effective because you get to play with the radio sets and actually SEE them in action. Starting to feel a little stressed? I shan't go into anymore details of SI life because there isn't much to talk about anyway.

So bookout = play games, and I (think) I spotted Jamie Yeo (wearing a pretty little blue dress :)) today at the East Coast Road area with her dog. I *think* it's her, anyway...

Live Earth? 4 years of learning Geography have made me more aware about the problems plaguing our planet, but I don't see myself being very environmentally friendly. Let us all die. Hehe. Will update if anything, otherwise, signing off.

Who's the best in the SAF? Commandos! Who's better than Commandos? SIGNALS!!!111 XD

Talk about culture shock. Life at the Signals Institute (SI) has been well so far, rather slack (compared to BMT) in fact, its seriously loads and loads of studying though. Lessons everyday... but better that than running around here and there like in BMT, or, say, command school (although I still wish I had been there). I've been assigned as an operator of truck-mounted communication systems, which probably is a whole lot better than those who have to carry the manpack field sets, so really, thank goodness!

Lots of stuff in there are highly classified though, so I'm not sure how much I can reveal in my blog and I'm going to be as vague as possible. Met a whole lot of my friends inside SI, both operator-trainees and specialist-trainees, as well as a couple of NSFs serving at SI itself. Good to have friends around you! :) I'm returning to camp in a few hours' time though, because I am pulling 24-hour guard duty tomorrow. It's gonna be a LONG day, I'm sure. *sighs* Oh well...

Oh, and I just caught a really old (25 year?) drama on TV, 《新兵小传》，which probably is like the chinese version of "Army Daze"? It portrays the life of a section of recruits of 'B' Coy, Platoon 2 Section 1 of a certain unit as they progress through Basic Military Training. Retro hairstyles, retro Singapore, retro army recruits, retro everything! So cute, nostalgic, old and funny... Huang Wenyong also stars in this drama series as a captain. Reminds me of BMT already, hehehehe.

Jamal will be back next week, if he decides to blog. Signing off!

UPDATE: OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THAT THE NATIONAL STADIUM'S CLOSING CEREMONY IS TODAY! GOSH! I DIDN'T TAKE THE PHOTOS I WANTED, NOR VISIT IT! FAREWELL, NATIONAL STADIUM. MY EVERY MEMORY OF BEING THERE AND DOING THINGS, WILL BE CHERISHED FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER. GO SINGAPORE, THRASH THE SOCCEROOS! :) Damn my guard duty for not allowing me to watch the telecast, at least. Hmph.

Here we go again.

In the blink of an eye, block leave is over, and in 6 hours' time I must report to my new unit, the Signals Institute at Stagmont Camp. Truth be told, I wasn't too worried about my posting until the 22nd itself. I started getting really nervous as I accessed the webpage and when I saw where I was posted to, I was rather... crestfallen. Things have again not gone the way I want it and expect it to be. I had wanted to go to command school (OCS or the schools of the three services) pretty badly, but now I'll end up as just a man, who will become a Corporal at the end of the two year service. Oh well... like they say, "suck thumb and move on." Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise? I'll have to see and discover how so, myself. Here's Jamal, signing off.

12 days of Freedom - wasting my life away?

Many many things to talk about, and mull over, so I'll start from the most recent. Massive food for thought on this Sunday night, where I decided to catch this Japanese arthouse film (my first!) on Arts Central, titled "Hana and Alice" (English translation -> lazy to type in Japanese :P). To keep things short, it basically explores the ups and downs of the friendship of the two girls Hana and Alice. The pacing was weird to me at first because I couldn't understand it, but slowly I began to as more of the movie showed. Full reviews at http://www.dvdactive.com/editorial/articles/hana-and-alice-comparison.html and http://www.dragonsdenuk.com/reviews/hana_and_alice.htm; these webbies helped me understand what went on, too. Definitely a lot of brain activity, although I didn't feel emotionally attached to this movie as I thought I would (comparison: Letters from Iwo Jima made me cry -> maybe it was easier for me to slip into their shoes...). The movie ended sweetly though, which is good. Depressing movies can spoil a Sunday night. Heh. :P

Oh, and the latest (2006) version of 神雕侠侣 (Return of the Condor Heroes) rocks! Chinese wuxia is always so beautiful, even if its the same old story done and redone on camera. Liu Yifei is a very pretty girl, and she certainly fits the mantle of Little Dragon Girl (小龙女）. Mmm... if only there was more time.

Going back even further, back to 5 days ago. That was when I officially completed Basic Military Training, and had my Passing Out Parade. To quote a line from Starship Troopers: "I was a 'trained soldier', entitled to put "PTE" (Private) in front of my name instead of "REC" (Recruit). Big day." Probably not the biggest yet, but it's a pretty big day still. We were all like racehorses kept behind the starting gate on that day, anxious for the parade to come, while praying that the torrential rain in the morning would subside in the afternoon. Fortunately it did, and we came in and marched past our parents, grandparents, girlfriends, etc etc, and threw our jockey caps up high and then it was all over. That was it. 9 weeks passed just like that, possibly one of the shortest chapters of my life. The memories of BMT: what we learnt, the basic stuff, how we survived route marches and punishments together, the jokes, the fun we had, our sergeants and sirs, they *might* fade with time, but I will put it here, as a reminder, to reminisce as long as I am humanly possible. BMT 02/07 Enhanced Batch Orion Company Platoon 4! Rock on! xD May the powers that be bless us all. And our poor commanders have to start training a new batch of recruits all over again...

Looking forward now to the future: I cannot see my future and I don't know what I'm doing. Even taking it one step at a time seems difficult. Oh, what can I do...?

Will I have a future?

Sit-test is over, it was tiring, but fun. We also threw our first (and possibly last) live grenade. The explosion, I tell you, is awesome, and the ground quakes under your feet. Such is the power of weapons designed to kill.

My future has been cast in doubt since my applications to the "Big 3" failed, so now also, I'm not too sure what to do. I'm booking in again, and feeling bored now because I have nothing to do, PLUS I have to book in. At least BMT will soon be over... but then what next?

Second book out.

Second book out, after field camp. Did lots of shit inside, and I'm pretty damned sure I don't want to dig another shellscrape or trench again. It's demoralising... Urban fighting wasn't too bad though, but the rain (just on that day!) spoiled everything, and made our campsite a mess. Life hasn't been too good. Managed to catch Spiderman 3 with a couple of sectionmates. Not much to comment about it though, heh. In for yet another two weeks, with the tough sit(uational) test coming up. How am I going to survive just a 12km march?

First book out!

Been in the godforsaken Army for two weeks, and it sucks. It's tough, but you just gotta bear with it. At least my platoon and my section are nice. Not looking forward to booking in where we will start to get punished for every damn thing. Went out the past few days and predominantly ogled at girls. Yes, girls! Mmm...

Time to go, and I won't be back for another two weeks...

A new chapter opens.

Haven't really had time (didn't want to, plus my computer died on me and had to be repaired) to blog, but now I do. In 8 hours' time, I will be enlisting for National Service, going for Basic Military Training on Pulau Tekong. The chapter at Space Out is closed now, thank you and goodbye to all whom I've met there (maybe I will blog longer next time). May we meet again. I'll need all the luck I can get during Military Training, I don't want to die. Okay, here goes, take one step forward...

Eye OK!

Had my eye checked early this morning at Singapore National Eye Centre (SNEC). Breezed through the checkups, partly because of the early morning appointment time, and myself arriving a lot earlier than the scheduled appointment, so there was basically no queues. Gotta love the professionalism exhibited by their staff at all levels, especially a certain Doctor Fong K S, whom immediately knew what was wrong with my eye after a quick inspection. It's a small cyst, something like a pimple. No worries, she says. :) Yay!

Demon Days

I'm a little sick today (sore throat) and I don't feel like blogging, so I'll keep it short. Gurmit Singh came to Space Out to order a burger on Saturday, easily recognisable although he was wearing a cap (grey T-shirt, jeans and slippers completed his outfit). I was sorta starstruck, really, hopefully I served him well. :D He went down the the Gaming Giants cybercafe (for games, I heard) afterwards.

The first batch of army recruits from Tekong have become fully-fledged Privates (following the Civil Defence NSmen, police soon to come?) following their passing-out from Basic Military Training. It's only about 2 more weeks before I go in myself. *sigh* Such is life...

Hmm... What else? No idea. Heh. Signing off.

I hate short weekends.

Today's horrendously short weekend had me watching Letters from Iwo Jima (硫黄島からの手紙), the sister film to director Clint Eastwood's Flags Of Our Fathers (critically acclaimed, and award winning too - Academy Award and Golden Globe). Finally! I didn't feel the need (although I thought it'd be nice) to watch Flags, but anyway, Letters is a superb movie for a war buff like me. It sensitises you to conflict, and shows you how scary things can be. The Japanese soldiers making a last stand on Iwo Jima were thoroughly humanised, and yet we see the humane and inhumane sides of different groups of soldiers, both American and Japanese.

Me, ever the emotional wreck, wept silently during many parts. The acting is superb (who says Japanese idols can't acting? Ninomiya Kazunari as Saigo, the pacifist baker = case in point). So did many others, I could hear audible sniffs every now and then. makes you wonder how a war of today would be like...

I don't feel like typing out what I thought, a lot of feelings simply welled up during the movie , so I'll probably end this quick post here. :P Yay?

In Mankind's Darkest Hour...

So the results were finally released. I don't where to start this post from... lets start it from the start of my day yesterday itself. I woke up at 0900++, had breakfast, read through the papers, logged on, played games, while nursing only a slight worry for my results. I was expecting to do badly all this while I guess, and, I just pushed it out of my mind. Headed to school at around 1215 to reach at 1225, meeting juniors, friends and such, and talking lots of cock with them. Still relaxed by then, mostly, although if you were one of those whom I talked to yesterday, you'd know I was hinting at the darker moments to come. Then I went to look at the statistics posted, and found that 49.9% of my cohort had 3A's and above, meaning one in two had that. Saw a million and one names in the list, easily more than half of those I know. Congratulations to all those who had their wonderful scores, especially to Minh Vi, Elaine, Jason and Jian Feng for making the top 8.

Met up with my classmates in between 1245 and 1320, exchanging small talk and such. They ordered pizza or something but I didn't touch it, no idea why. I would suffer later from hunger. Heh. Some people found out their results by asking their civics tutors directly. Then, the witching hour came. We assembled in the hall at 1400, listened to Mr Chan Poh Meng talk, then introduce Mrs Chan Kah Ghek, the principal during our time in VJ, who would give us the report on our performance. People continued streaming in at this time, NS peeps, girls, various people. And then, came the time to receive our result slips. I was slightly nervous, and perhaps a little too noisy (apologies to my classmates whom I probably disturbed :( ). I heard screams of joy, and such. It was my turn to face Mr Chow next. He was like "Oh, you didn't do very well... You gonna be okay?" I was devoid of feelings at that point in time, just being empty and all, then I saw the slip. A D for Geography and Physics, and E for Math, B3 for General Paper (Face it, I'm not going to lie about my results. Those of you who read this post will know, and should know, but I hope your opinions of me will not change). I was... hollow inside. Of all the scenarios, good and bad that I ran through beforehand, this didn't come out. At least I passed, and not counting the easy Math exam for the mid years this year, I passed Math for the first fucking time in VJ! No comments about my other subjects, although I was kinda hoping I would get A2 for General Paper.

So I hung around a bit, and exchanged results with friends, talked and stuff. Walked out of the hall with Mr Chow. Sat around in the canteen, spending most of my time with Dingyong and talking about his NS life so far (most of the army boys will be passing out next week or so). We had Pattaya (?) Rice from the Indian stall, which was like, wonderful. I found it ironic that I had only bought food from the Indian stall ONCE in my entire 2 years in VJC, and that was during the early days in JC1. I didn't later because I feared curry would cause me to have stomachaches during air rifle training. It was like, back on this day before I bought from the Indian stall. Left at 1715 to head down to Space Out to begin a boring shift, further marred by injuries and last minute orders that required the fucking griller, which I learned to clean finally. Did I miss any details? I hope not.

My results, I don't know. Hopefully I can get into a university with it, but I know that I won't have much of a choice when it comes to what I will be studying. Jamal has failed a lot of people, especially his teachers and and parents, but, like the rotund Malay security guard who gave me a pep talk (thanks!) just before I entered school yesterday, there's no point in crying. It's over, and I would have to pick myself up and learn a painful lesson. 4 years it has been, since I started the slide down. However, what lies ahead, I don't know. I need information before I can decide.

The papers today ran interviews on top scholars, the usual, bla bla bla. What I didn't know was that Xu Jingyi, my classmate and seatmate in Sec 1 and 2, has actually lost her hearing in one ear! She says it doesn't affect her much according to the Chinese papers, but, woah. There are things about people that you always learn about later. Hehe. Congratulations once again to those who did really well, while Jamal shall head off and do some much-needed thinking, or just be a coward and run away from his problems for a fucking while.

Hollow. I didn't fail, at least. Hmm...?

Are you ready?

Hmm, just a few days ago my Mom took home this picture, taken 39 years ago while she and her classmates were still in primary school. She apparently received it from her ex-schoolmate who managed to re-develop a copy of the photo for her. It's black-and-white, and wow, all of them looked so young, and innocent back then! The atmosphere of a bygone era...

The past few days have been pretty hard, still. I got chewed out by my manager like, 4 days ago, and then there was the "Pasta Incident" with my colleague Jeremiah. I won't go into details, since I'm too lazy (as usual) to do so, as well as the fact that the potential consequences that may befall me if I post too much. But it has made me realise that, sometimes CCTVs (closed-circuit television cameras) installed in workplaces are actually a double-edged sword of sorts, in the sense that they have dual purposes: To deter crime, and for employers to observe their employees. It's not a double-edged sword in that you can't hurt yourself with it, but what I mean is more of it having two equally powerful purposes. Observing workers with CCTVs, is like building a fortress with cannons all around a city, but pointing the cannons inside, meaning that the fear of internal threats is greater, isn't it? (Does this sound right? Haha.)

I managed to passed my Final Theory Test recently too, wasn't so bad (although I failed the e-trial test :P). Now I have 2 years to get that damned license. Oh, and the local band Ronin (the albino Levan is indeed "easily recognisable".)visited my workplace on 28 Feb, where they ordered just one coffee and fries, and settled down to have a smoke. Looks like they know the boss of Asteroids Cyber.

One more thing to bring to attention: Note the huge difference in the articles in yesterday's edition of The Straits Times and Lianhe Zaobao (联合早报), regarding the death of a VJC Year Two student after a 2.4km run. Looks like the Zaobao reporter dug in deeper than the ST one, either that, or information wasn't available to ST at the time of printing. Heh.

And now... the 'A' Level results will be released to us in 3 hours' time. I haven't been doing much worrying these few days because of work, but now I guess my heart is pounding. No point worrying actually, I just have to face whatever comes at me. I do think that I screwed up, and however much I say that I'm prepared to take the polytechnic route (thus wasting 2 years in JC), I don't think I actually am. *sighs* Oh well... oh well...

Oh dear...

This week and the next probably won't be good. I went back to work, and promptly screwed up by slipping on wet floor (someone mopped it). I broke my fall, but in the process broke 2 soup bowls and rendered 3 others unuseable (i.e. cannot be used to serve soup, but can be usd to hold other stuff). Dropped a whole scoop of chicken mayonnaise mix too that day. Freaking bad screw. *sighs* Sometimes we just need to concentrate and stuff.

The next day wasn't too good either. I originally planned to go watch Letters from Iwo Jima with Fabian, after a Ghost Squad game which went wrong. Plaza Singapura was out of tickets, so we headed down to Orchard Cineleisure (should have tried Cathay?), but a wrong crossing of the road did us in, because it was sealed after that due to Chingay, so we had to make a BIG, HUGE detour round past Le Meridien, and head all the way back to Cineleisure, by which time the tickets were sold out too. So we ended up chatting, having dinner, then heading to Takashimaya and eating and then being "accosted" (using random surveys, how clever) by some people who were promoting some bank stuff (which I wasn't paying much attention to). Then to Kinojuniya where Fabian bought a Kingdom Hearts guide for his sister.

Rumours have it that the A level results are out this coming Friday. And there are a lot of signs indicating its truth. Damn, this is going to be one hell of a worrying week... I'm a goner.

Things are going downhill.

My mom decided that I should go down to the polyclinic today, and so go down I did. The doctor there didn't say much, and instead got me a referral to the National Eye Centre at Singapore General Hospital. So it wasn't conjunctivitis after all, but a growth of sorts. I'm not sure but there seems to be yellowish discharge coming from the growth today. Very worrying...

However, the bumbling counter staff (what they term Patient Service Crew) lost my file (and thus my referral) in a span of what, 5 minutes? as I left the counter to make my payment. My mom got all angry and shit, and they tried to search for the file but to no avail. There was thus a huge delay before I decided to go home. Then I called them up, and asked for the referral to be re-written (I should have done that there), before heading down to get it, wasting $1-plus of bus fare. :( How annoying...

They also kept confusing me with a certain "Shaun Lee Wen Sheng" because the date of birth was the same, and the last two digits of the IC number were the same too. In fact, he was probably born later than me by exactly 100 places, since his was 1472... (rest of IC no. not revealed). Oh well.

I was so damned pissed earlier in the day, but again I've cooled off now and as usual am feeling blog-fatigue. :P But what's worrying is my eye... and hence my future. Just one more thing for good ol' Jamal to worry about. Damn.

Random Musings II

This New Year doesn't feel New Year-ish at all. For once I wasn't even looking forward to it. Watched Jack Neo's Just Follow Law on the first day of Chinese New Year. Too lazy to review now, but I must say Fann Wong really deserved her six-figure pay from Jack, because she was GOOD. "See Fann Wong like you've never seen her before!" says the newspapers. Damn right they are.

Worked on the third day, pulling 8 hour night shift. And now I'm on 2 days MC for a suspected case of conjunctivitis... My right eye looks weird now. o_O

Happy New Year?

Damn, why am I even blogging when I have little to say here? Many things to hide? Hmm. Anyway, Chinese New Year's Eve, and Chinese New Year itself were still... okay. Although I'm a little bored now because I have to work tomorrow.

Many things to worry about. Booorrring, too. I think I should blog when I have more stuff to post instead of just a few simple lines then. Hmph.

Total Defence Day!

15 February 1942! The day Singapore officially surrendered to the Japanese, causing then British Prime Minister Winston Churchill to comment that it was one of the greatest disasters to have ever befallen the British Empire...

And we now acknowledge this day as Total Defence Day, where at 1205, the Public Warning System of sirens all across Singapore, will sound the Important Message Signal, together with a radio (and TV?) broadcast about the three different types of signals and what they mean, and what to do. Today, the sirens in my area seemed to be unsynchronised, because I heard echoes instead of a single, coordinated pulsating wail. This isn't good, is it? Anyway, there's a lot more history behind this, and the concept of Total Defence which I'm too lazy to delve into.

Relaxing shift today too, woot. :)

Into Valentine's (Friendship) Day proper...

And thus, we step into this day (again, aka Friendship Day in VJ, the wonderful euphemism). Pulled the evening shift. Must go faster still too slow. Faster! Carrie read my dedication again (I think) but I was busy filling up water to mop the floor with. Rats!

Not much more I'd like to comment on...

Timecheck: 0014 - 14 minutes into Valentine's Day

So it's Valentine's Day once again. Whatever, I'm not attached or anything, so who cares? Its every bit as commercialised as every other damned festival day we have or something anyway. Ugh.

Just came back from yesterday's (meaning the 13th) afternoon-night shift at Space Out. Sent a dedication via SMS sometime at 8, under the name of "Seraphim". I think it was too long, the SMS server cut up the middle portion of the dedication. I was preparing fries at that time and didn't pay full attention, but it sounded cut off, because Carrie Chong read up to my "on the bounce" part, then I heard my "screw Valentine's Day" part next. And she thought I was random. :P Which I am, but, hey, the server cut off the important parts! Damnit.

Unexpectedly met up with Yang Sheng, Benedict "Dicky" Heng, Lee Jyun and Jing Sheng, among others, and decided to settle for a game of DotA with them. As usual, my lack of skill showed. Heh.

No offense to you, Yang Sheng, but in my opinion you still haven't changed in the two years that I didn't see you. Basically obnoxious, hah. Don't think I have to cut some slack. Stop worrying! -_-
Need to bathe and sleep, first day I "broke" my mother's imposed curfew of sorts. Screw it.

Beginnings and Endings...

Tralalala! It's Jamal once again, and many things to say, hopefully compressible within my tolerable blogging-patience-limit.

Since my last post, I've lost the job at PA, and it was high time that I realised that I was throwing my life away. Typical game addiction, perhaps. Oh well. My future doesn't look too bright for me, but all I can do now is change my lifestyle (already doing so, although...) and take it on day by day. To my previous two supervisors: If you ever come across this, rest assured that I am doing my best and putting in every effort in whatever I am doing now. I was probably wrong to bear hatred for what was my fault, but... oh well. Things are changing. All the best to all of us!

Then came Singapore's victory at the Asean Football Championships, defending our ownership of the champion's trophy. The first leg may have been disputable, but we won the second leg fair and square. Looks like Singapore football isn't *that* bad after all, whatever cynics may say. Overnight, our footballers have become heroes once again, what with Noh Alam Shah, Indra Sahdan Daud, Khairul Amri, Precious Emer...(can't spell :P The Nigerian footballer!), so on and so forth (lazy to type the rest, no offense :P), and now are basking in the limelight. Onward!

Soon after, I managed to find employment after a couple of trips around (thanks Reynard, I owe you one!) with Reynard. To cut the long story short, I am now employed as a waiter at Space Out at Katong Shopping Centre outside the Asteroids cybercafe. :) Hopefully I can stay there for long, hehehe. I cannot screw up! Colleagues are generally nice people, yes, cool to get along with (even Bao Guang! Yeah! Never look down on the disabled - they say he's intellectually disabled, but the way I see it, it's very very mild and he's actually pretty normal) except for the fact that some smoke. I detest the cigarette. 'Nuff said.

Hmm... you know about the I Not Stupid variety show thingamajig that appeared on Channel 8 recently? The guy who acted as the chubby boy in the first instalment of I Not Stupid, he managed to make a guest appearance on the show. Boy, he looks so different! Totally unlike 5 years ago when he acted in that show. Now he has long hair, styled like Paul Twohill of Singapore Idol 2 (covering half of face). I couldn't recognise him at first, seriously.

The release of the GCE 'O' Level results on Friday made me jittery as well, as it triggered off that day's quota of panic attacks about my A Level results. Nothing I can do about it now, hmm, gotta face it and move on.

And with that, I start to wrap up this post. Today, the finale episode special of Phua Chu Kang Pte. Ltd was broadcast on TV. We've had memories of the past 10 years as a sitcom (with another 2 years as a sketch?), and a final episode that included some laughs, and was heartwarming still (where was Ah Goon in the final picture taken? Why didn't they include him?). Interviews with Michelle Chong, Andrea de Cruz, May and Choy (Wan) and Fiona Xie, who have all guest starred on PCK before. Carole Lin made a guest apperance in the final episode. So... 10 years, 8 seasons, many episodes, three mentions by our then-Prime Minister Goh Chok Tong, and its all over. Gurmit Singh was visibly upset and was choking back tears as he made a final thank-you on-screen, with this show hosted by Adrian Pang. After three rousing "yam-sengs" the programme ended at 2130. Camera shots during credits showed people crying (May and Choy, when they hugged Irene Ang :)), and the rest cast hugging one another, and also the crew.

And thus, things end, as shall this once-again random post.

Mundane.

As with most posts, I post past midnight so technically this one should take place one day earlier than indicated date, lol. :)

I'm pretty cool with my new job, all I hate is its mundaneness. As in, like waking up at 7am each morning, coming home at 6pm... I guess life's going to be like that for like, forever now, no? And so many things to do when I get home, to play and such, haha. :)

Anyway I just decided to write some bit. New about Hsu Wei-lun's death is quite... I don't know, Shocking. Just like U-Nee's suicide recently, bright young stars (pretty too!) snuffed out just like there. There's a million and one ways to die, man. News reports say a reporter found that the magazine she had with her in the car she was travelling in was flipped to a page with the DeathNote advertisement on it. It was splattered with blood, and the reporter took a picture of it I think. I can imagine the picture... it so brings out... "death". Hmph.

In today's episode of Amazing Race Asia, the Indonesian brothers (Mardy and ??? -> never got the names right :P) were ousted in the Dubai leg of the race. Pretty sad, they were one of the teams I was rooting for (lucky fellows all this while, very amusingly cute and genial yay). One of the other teams (Francesca and boyfriend?, which country?), they were joking about Allan Wu's pregnant pauses whenever he's announcing the results. How funny. :)

China, vulnerable by doing anti-satellite test?

And so ends yet another random post.

o.o (new emote I learn to use :P)

I found another job, working as a temporary support staff for the Human Resource Department of People's Association. First day at work today, hmm. Much to learn while sifting through paperwork, including taking a peek at how the world of HR works, through the comments left behind by various interview panels. (*hopes this won't get me into trouble* -> there shouldn't be a problem with viewing these documents right? After all, I was tasked to suss out the records of an applicant...). Coincidentally, I met Ouyang Xiaohui (three years my senior, I knew him back in DHS Scouts :)) while at PA! Still the nice guy ever. :D

Was pretty good I guess. Felt bad for not taking the initiative to notify the bus driver of plastic bags left behind by two Indian passengers on my way back. I was too sleepy to react, heh. Ah, shouldn't stress myself too hard eh? Heh.

There was a pretty wonderful show on Discovery Channel just earlier (finished at 2100, timecheck at posting time is 2127) ranking the 10 greatest fighter planes of all time. I started watching from No. 6. Although I don't quite agree with the positions of the aircraft (how do you compare these things, each of them are so different!), I agree that they were all great, and the greatest is indeed, in my opinion (perhaps swayed by the programme?) is the North American P-51 Mustang. The other ranked include the Supermarine Spitfire, Mikoyan-Gurevich MiG-21 'Fishbed', North American F-86 Sabre, Messerschmitt Bf 109, and the Boeing F/A-18 Hornet )with emphasis on the E/F Super Hornet versions).

The interviews with aces, young and old, were wonderful too. Niiiiccce.

Thus ends this seemingly pointless post.

*sighs*

This blog is officially 2 years and 9 days old! 3563 hits at time of posting, giving an average of 4.821 hits per day. Although I think at least 20% of the hits were generated by myself since I like to view my blog after each post and modification to ensure that things turn out well, hehe.

So, what have I been doing since the past post? Slacking around, basically. I crashed VJC's O1 (Orientation 1) again, going back first on CCA Walkabout Day (Thursday, I think) to check things out, as well as collect my EAGLES Award (Edusave Award for Achievement, Good LEadership and Service) from the school. I heard from my juniors that there were tons of girls this time round, and boy, was it true! Not going to comment here about how each and everybody looks like, lest I get swamped tomorrow by like, everybody, so... yeah. :) Met up with teachers here and there, oh, and I saw the new principal too! He was the very first person I saw (excluding the security guards, who have no recollection of me at all -> wish the previous Indian guard was around, was pretty friendly with him :D) upon my entry into VJC. Short, and slightly rotund, Mr Chan gave me pretty good first impressions: Friendly and all. But he has a lot of work to do, filling in Mrs Chan's (not related, both of them) shoes being the primary one.

So I went and gawked at various CCA booths, trying to spot for fake ones and failing (not attentive enough :P), and saying hi to friends and juniors alike. Yay! I was dressed pretty conspicuously that day, since I was wearing my yellow Air Rifle Club T-shirt.

Think I caught Death Note 2: The Last Name sometime around that period too, don't exactly remember when. It's pretty good, the 2nd instalment, since it all builds up to the final conclusion, which was resolved way faster than the manga/anime from what I've heard. Everybody's acting seemed to have improved, even Light (Fujiwara Tatsuya) and L (Matsuyama Kenichi) look less emo (maybe it's just me)! Oh, and Toda Erika (as Amane Misa) is like, cute! OMG! :D I have no idea why, but I like Yagami Soichiro (Light's Dad, played by Kaga Takeshi) the best. Maybe because he stands for true justice amongst all the characters in this series. Kudos to Matsuyama-san, who probably had to endure ton after ton of sweet stuff throughout the entire production of Death Note, he must have developed a phobia for such after the end of filming! I mean, like, if he NGs (No Good) and retakes the scene... oh my. Hehehehe...

Monday was Sea Regatta day, which I planned on going for, but ended up reaching late and missing out on the fun because of time wasted at an NTUC Interview, because I had accepted a job as a proof-reader at EPH (Educational Publishing House, people who publish assessment books and such, don't we love them all? *sneers*) earlier. So I basically lurked about the school looking for an OG to crash, ending up eating lunch with some Air Rifle juniors, then heading off to Katong Shopping Centre alone for LAN gaming, alone, to pass time until the mass dance at Suntec City's Fountain of Wealth. Managed to find a group to stick with then, some Icarus group thingy I think. Lots of us Year 3s (so fast, now, heh!) were in that group, and the running joke was that the average age of this OG had become the highest with all of us 'oldies' around.

Started work at EPH the next day, travelling via company transport all the way to the office in Jurong East. My job was to check manuscripts of yet-unpublished assessment books and guidebooks for errors in grammar and such, and also the answers of the various exercises. It reminded me of my childhood days, where Mom always asked me to do assessment books, only this time I had to rush an entire book in just a day. Pretty novel experience, but short since my services were terminated (to put it nicely) after just 4 days. The official word was that there wasn't much left to do, but if I wanted to be cynical and such, I'd think I was fired (which I think I was, anyway :P). So back into unemployment I go. *sighs*

Got addicted to Ghost Squad soon after, its a pretty cool arcade game (a shooter) which keeps you going back for more once you get the card and can keep your stats and stuff. It's a huge burn of money and I really think I should stop. :P I think I'm showing some signs of game addiction anyway, so... yeah haha. Which brings me back to my worry for my 'A' Level grades, again.

Anyway, I can't be talking too much here can I? It's a public space easily accessed by everyone, and pouring my heart out might attract trouble. So Jamal must clam up and keep his secrets elsewhere... muahaha!

Whee! 2007.

Back to bloggng, once more. But I have lost steam, really, so I'll make this short. Don't even know if I want to blog about Italy, hehehe! It was nice and all, then slacking till Christmas, getting spammed here by my cousins on Christmas Eve, and spending 31st December with some DHS 2A/2002 classmates. Watched Chu Kian slip into semi-delirium after consuming vodka. Gosh, drunkenness (even if mild) is scary...

And then there were fireworks. We sent Cai Ping home after that, and spent the rest of our time at the MacDonald's near the national stadium. I didn't sleep, unlike others. Then the few of us who remained split from there, and I reached home at what, 7am. :) Woot.

And then packing, slacking again till now. Boy, do I have to find a job...

EDIT on 2/1/2007: Oh, and they finally charged us adult fare... No more concessions, heh. Wasn't like that when we took the MRT ride, but then when I boarded bus service no. 196 at about 0650 yesterday, the almost foreign sound of the "beep" of the card reader instead of "doo-doot" reminded me of that fact. I'll miss being charged around 45 cents for all them rides on public transport. *wails*